2. Haunted
*Warning: A bit of sequence and time change/event change. Oh, yeah, and a character death.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"The only thing that is permanent in this world is change itself. People come and go and change but the memories we hold with us do not."
Run. Don't stop. Keep running.
His words echoed in her ears like a chant; a prayer and it brought tears to her eyes, thinking she'd never hear that voice ever again but in her head. Every time she blinked, she could almost see him, so vivid, so real as if he were right there in front of her sprawled on the grass bleeding; dying. How could she just have left him like that? She could feel tears pooling and forming in her eyes as she thought about it but what could her tears do now? The fact of the matter was that she was too slow, she couldn't save him and she failed; she'd failed him in every way possible. He was probably dead and her tears could do nothing to bring him back.
"Erica," he could hardly even say the words when he'd said it and yet, she could hear it loud and clear as she ran away; as if he were still there beside her, "I'm not the one you love, am I?" He was bleeding, fatally wounded from a blow and lying on the grass with Erica next to him holding his hand, "What? What are you talking about Boyd?" She was confused at the time but now thinking about it, Boyd's death at her hands, she felt so stupid, so insensitive, "Of course I love you; you're like my brother." Hearing her words, he let out a tired chuckle, his voice raspy and hardly heard in the silence of the forest. She could hear him chuckle as if he was still there.
"I love you Erica, more than a sister," The words were a shock to Erica, she never knew Boyd felt that way about her, she'd only ever seen him as a brother; one of the closest people to her heart but she didn't love him that way and now, he was gone. She'd finally gotten what she'd wanted, to be loved and yet, it only made her heart sink and feel heavy and thinking about it made her want to stop mid-sprint and just give up.
"I always have since you became a member of the pack." Erica wanted to say something at the time but all she could do was stare at him, wide-eyed, "I knew it wasn't me," Boyd continued, "But maybe, if you'd met me first, if I'd confessed when I first realized my feelings," Erica could practically see him at the back of her eyelids, stopping mid-sentence to cough up some blood, "Then maybe it wouldn't be Isaac." The words rang in her ears like an accusation.
She could hear his last words before he'd told her to run, "Don't make the same mistake I made," the words rang and repeated in her ears, the pain so raw in his voice, "My biggest regret is not telling you how I felt." She wanted to say sorry, apologize for hurting him and letting him die, but that's when they'd heard it; a wolf's howl in the near distance. She knew that the other wolves had found them again, and were looking to kill her now.
"Run." He whispered, "Run."
"B-But," She couldn't hold back the tears and she couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand, that's when his eyes had opened and they'd heard the wolves again; closer this time, "Run." He mouthed the words, having no more power to speak.
Run. Don't stop. Keep running.
So she ran. She ran and ran as fast as she could, not really knowing where she was going but she ran. She ran even though her legs burnt and felt like weight that even a werewolf couldn't lift, even though the midnight air was so cold and so thick, it felt like inhaling ice; burning her lungs, even though her body could hardly carry her and she felt like passing out due to the after effects of being tortured and electrocuted, and even though it seemed hopeless. She ran because he'd told her too and because he'd wanted her to survive, because he loved her. She ran and by some miracle, just before everything went black, she could see the Hale house just at the clearing. She was so close, so very close..
Then it all went black.
She could feel herself waking, the feeling coming back to her fingers. Where was she? She tried to move but she couldn't, she was immobilized by some kind of metal. She felt so tired, like her body weighed so much and she felt sore.
"We've been studying werewolves for years," The voice brought Erica back, reminding her where she was and what was happening. She was at the Argent's home, being held captive along with Boyd.
"Did you know that electricity, when used properly," the voice let out a sinister chuckle, "will stop the transformation, a little more stops the healing, and then your strength will be gone."
Her words hung in the air, Erica could practically feel the tension wrap and coil around her, making her heart race and making it hard to breathe. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a distinct, "zzzt" followed by agonizing pain spreading through her body and the sounds of her screaming echoing throughout the room.
The electricity pulsing through her body burnt so bad and it felt just like when she had her seizures, like blood in her mouth, her heart pumping too fast, her fingers twitching and then the convulsing that burnt so bad that she could hardly comprehend anything. The pain was so real, so reminiscent of her humanity and the pathetic excuse of a life she'd lived.
"Then it will be as if you were human again." The words rang in Erica's ears, "human again. Human again,"
She didn't want to go back. Not ever. Being human was like living in hell, a living nightmare. She couldn't and wouldn't go back to being her weak, fragile self, dependent on the drugs that killed her and at the same time made her live. She hated feeling so unwanted, a pariah, like a burden, so useless and so weak. More than anything, she hated being human.
She willed her muscles to move, to contract and her arms and legs to move, using what strength she had left to break out. She twisted, wriggled and turned but nothing. The electricity was draining the wolf out of her and she could almost feel her arms becoming feeble again.
"I'm not going back! No!" Her screams echoed and bounced off the walls, "Someone help me! Ahhh!" And suddenly, she remembered that Boyd had been with her too and though, she was in too much pain to open her eyes and search for him she knew he was there.
"Boyd!" She screamed out, her head moving from side to side, the convulsions of her body never ceasing, "B-Boyd!"
"Why are you calling out for a dead man?"
Erica's eyes flashed open. She could feel the wetness on her face from the tears and sweat. Her fangs were bared, eyes yellow and wolf-like and claws out but she couldn't move. She struggled, trying to break free from the hold when she'd finally grown tired and realized where she was, what was happening and who was holding her down.
"Scott," she looked up at the boy pinning her down by the left arm and leg, "Derek," then at their pack leader who was looking at her with- for once- a look that was not of anger but of worry, holding her down on the opposite side. They were both sweaty, panting and tired looking and she was confused.
"Wha- what's happening?" She was still groggy and disoriented from sleep. In fact, she could hardly open her eyes and the light above her was blinding but she could make out even the blurriest sights of them. She could even see the blood on Derek's shirt and the long claw-mark on his arm.
"D-Derek!" She says, forcing her eyes to open as far as they can and sitting up in bed to tend to his wounds, not knowing how or where he got them.
He only pushes her away in reply, forcing her to fall back on to her bed, while Scott holds on to her arm, saying, "It was just a bad dream," his words are barely a whisper and are meant more for him than for Erica; a reassurance that everything was peaceful now and that her nightmares were just recollections of the past, "You were just having a bad dream."
"B-bad dream?" Erica asks, still not quite following, "But I don't remember anything."
"Good," Derek replies, his back to her as he walks away, out of her room and into the hallway and though he's quite a distance already, she hears him say, before he leaves, "Because in the morning you will."
She looks at Scott, with one of the saddest expressions, he's ever seen and he remembers when he'd first heard about Boyd's death and Isaac's disappearance. He could remember her face as she told them what happened to Boyd; the look of complete and utter defeat and guilt. It was hard for him to watch and even harder for him to be the one to tell her that Isaac was missing.
It was like the world had come crashing down on her. For days she hadn't seen Isaac but she figured he was just being his usual moody self but when Scott had finally told her that he'd gone missing; hadn't been found since the alphas came into town, she didn't know what to think. And for weeks they searched for him and days of waiting and hoping became, weeks and weeks became months and months became the entire summer until, they'd come to some form of mutual, unspoken agreement that maybe it was time to stop looking. And they did.
Erica never stopped hoping though.
But eventually, Erica stopped looking for him too. She'd been so consumed by her guilt about Boyd's death that she'd somehow stopped living too; subconsciously telling herself that she didn't deserve to live and Isaac's absence only worsened her condition. Without him to pull her up and on to her feet, she was lost; haunted by memories of him and a man whom no longer was, she was suffocating in her grief.
And it was nights like these when her grief, her sadness, loneliness and guilt ate at her; chewing at the seams of her sanity and subtly shredding it as she slept. Her dreams were never pleasant and they always ended with her screaming her lungs out and someone- usually Derek- needing to hold her down until she calmed down and woke up in a confused and fazed state.
She never remembered her dreams but they were always there, every night, the same cries into the night, the same desperate tears were spilled, always almost washing her face but never washing her pain away and every night, it was a constant replay of his death; the blood on her hands, the man she'd convinced herself she'd killed and her love who was lost and she in turn without him was lost. Aimlessly wondering in the dark abyss of her nightmares; memories turned into terrors, haunting her.
A/N: Sorry for the wait, I've been really busy lately doing shows and stuff. Hopefully, I'll get more time to write. Thanks for all those who followed, favorited and reviewed. Comments are always welcomed, whether good or bad.