AN: Like I said at the end of the prologue, I've changed some of the characters and their roles in the play; nothing too drastic so I'm not killing the play that bad. There is gender bending of the original Romeo and Juliet cast. Although, if anyone wants a complete list of the cast…
Disclaimer-I do not own the Hetalia characters or the play in which I have placed them in.
Romerica and Juliet
Act I, Scene 1
(Norway and Iceland enter the scene)-Narrators
Iceland: So, do you want to describe the scene or should I?
Norway: I'll do it. (clears throat) Sampson and Gregory, two servants from the house of Capulet are walking through the streets of the plot convenient city. With witty banter, Sampson declares his hatred for the house of Montague. They argue about trivial things, fight with members of the Montague, and get yelled at by the city's princess. Enjoy.
The streets of the unnamed and plot convenient city are hustling and bustling, full of activity. The sun shines brightly down upon them and there is not one cloud floating in the sky above the city. The day is like any other day.
Out of all the people in the city, our focus is more on two figures walking through the busy streets. One is tall, with hair as white as snow, blood red eyes and a loud voice. His companion, with his sleek blonde hair and icy blue eyes, walks silently next to him and silently wishing he was somewhere else.
"Greg I swear, I'm tired of those bitch ass Montagues and I'm tired of taking their garbage." Sampson states, taking a swig of the beer he carries. He offers some to Gregory but the blonde politely declines.
"I don't know what to tell you then Sampson, they are our enemies after all."
Sampson takes another swig. "I don't care who they are, if I see them on the street, I'm going Teutonic Knight on somebody's ass."
Gregory sighs, he hates it when Sampson gets like this. "Brother we don't need to start any unnecessary fights. You get in enough trouble as it is."
"Nonsense West! It's not my fault these lames can't handle awesomeness of my caliber."
Norway: Prussia, please stay in character. No references to our Hetalia universe.
Sampson glances to his right only to find a short blonde man with navy blue eyes giving him a blank look. "Yeah, yeah I got it." The blonde nods and turns to walk in the opposite direction.
Gregory clears his throat in an attempt to get the story back on track. "Be that as it may, if you get into a fight, you'll most likely run away or drag me into it."
"Haha please! Those Montague bastards don't stand a chance against me, right Gilbird?" Sampson reaches up to his head to pet a little yellow chick roosted snugly in his hair. "Besides , if the bastards wanna fight, I'll just kick them into the middle of the street like 'Go play in traffic!' then I'll stand up against the wall. A perfect plan, kesesesese~."
Gregory resists the urge to violently slam his palm into his forehead. You know, someone should come up with a name for that so it can be easier to catalog with the rest of human reactions. "You know only women walk against the wall."
The pair briefly spilt apart as a flying pile of garbage (and possibly human feces) is thrown out of a second-story window and lands on a brown-haired trembling little boy. "That's because they're weaklings, like that dude back there! Skip that, I'll push them into the street too."
"The feud is just between our masters and us; the men that work for them."
"It's all the same. After kicking some major ass, I'll cut off all the women's heads."
Gregory fixes Sampson with an incredulous look. "What?"
"Their virginity West, I'll take their virginity." Sampson sighs.
"Then I'd have to report you to the authorities. Rape is a crime, brother." Gregory looks ahead of them and spies a few familiar faces heading their way. "Damn it, here come a few Montagues."
"Don't worry bro, I got your back! Kesesesese~"
"You'd better not run."
"I'm not! Watch!" Sampson makes an incredible attempt at biting his thumb at the approaching Montagues. One of the men, an able-bodied brunette with sleepy green eyes, stops in front of the pair of Capulets.
"Are you biting your thumb at us? It looks like it hurts."
Sampson wipes the blood from his thumb on Gregory's sleeve and whispers in his ear. "Would I get arrested if I say yes?"
"Yes."
Sampson faces the brunette once more with a cocky grin adorning his features. "Then yes and no Abram."
Abram cocks an eyebrow. "What?"
"Please ignore him." Gregory supplies as Sampson draws his sword.
"If you want to fight, we can go right here. My sword's not out for nothing."
Abram openly yawns and scratches his head through his tousled brown locks. "I'm not really up for it."
"Well then." Sampson concludes.
Just then, Gregory spots another Montague heading in their direction. He grabs Sampson by the arm and hurriedly whispers in his ear. "Be careful, someone else is coming! Say 'better'!"
"Yes, 'better' I guess." Sampson shrugs. Abram copies his movement and yawns again. One of the background men in Abram's group pulls out a camera and snaps a photo while the brunette stretches and yawns.
"You lie." The sleepy brunette states.
"Dude, what do I need to lie for? Let's just fight."
As the generic fight scene takes place, the second Montague Gregory spotted appears on the scene. He runs a rand through his auburn hair and there are tears in his hazel eyes. He approaches the fighting group and attempts mediation.
"Ve~, what are you guys doing? Don't fight, you'll hurt each other!"
Another blonde enters the scene, shaking his own wavy blonde hair. He walks over to the worried Montague and places a hand on his shoulder. "Don't try to talk to them Benvolio, they'll just ignore you."
Benvolio turns to the hand on his shoulder and greets the man standing behind him. "But Tybalt, I'm only trying to keep the peace!" He pauses for a moment, as if he's thinking of something. "You're not supposed to be talking to me, you're a Canada!"
"Capulet, Benvolio." Gregory supplies.
Tybalt sighs and removes his hand from Benvolio's shoulder. "And you're a Montague. I guess it's time for us to fight then, eh."
The citizens of the city all stop what they're doing to watch the epic showdown of Montague vs. Capulet take place in the middle of the street; even though this is an everyday occurrence. The fact that the whole city knows about the feud between the houses doesn't stop them from picking sides.
"FUCK THE CAPULETS! FUCK THE MONTAGUES!"
Sick of hearing the crowd's incessant cheers of disdain for the houses, Lord Capulet grabs his blonde wife Lady Capulet and they leave the candle shop they were just in. He drags his partner to the middle of the street, pushing his way through the crowd, to the source of the crowd's cheering.
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" He spots another pair of people pushing their way towards the fight and he growls low in his throat; that bastard.
"Bollocks, there's that tosser Montague. He's probably just here to piss me off." He motions towards his wife quickly, "Sword, frog!"
His wife wrinkles his nose in annoyance. "You don't have to be so rude about it, mon cher."
Lord Montague spots Lord Capulet from across the fight and his fists ball up at his sides. His eyes fill with anger, rage takes over his muscles and he growls. "There's that bastardo Capulet." He moves to cross the fight to kick Capulet's English ass but his wife's hand on his shoulder stops him.
"What is it, mi esposa?"
"Don't worry about him, I'll take care of him." Montague wants to say something, but his wife's got that glint in her eye, the glint she gets when she's ready to kill something; the way she's gripping the family frying pan isn't helping either.
The Montagues and the Capulets are about to escalate the battle when a shrill trumpet pierces the air. "Announcing Princess Escalus!" The citizens stop their chanting and hold their positions, not sure of what's going on. The fight itself freezes in place, the fighters all in awkward positions with limbs everywhere, shreds of clothing littering the air and bright red blood painting the ground.
The trumpeter gives way to another person, an important looking woman. She steps through her crowd of vessels to face the now frozen scene in front of her. She uses a gloved hand to brush platinum blonde hair out of her face and her dark blue eyes take in the scene before her. She glares at everyone.
"You rebels! Enemies of the peace! Put down your weapons. NOW. You will listen to what I have to say and accept it." Everyone obliges the princess promptly. Her glare intensifies and everyone shivers as the area's temperature drops a few degrees and dark clouds fill the sky.
"This is the third time this week I've had to break up a street fight. Capulet and Montague, you don't even know what your feud is about and yet you fight and fill my streets with blood. I'm tired of this and this will end by my word. Capulet, you come with me. Montague, I'll see you later. Everyone else leave or I will kill you in your sleep."
The crowd disperses at the drop of a hat. The temperature returns to normal, the sky clears as Lord Capulet and his wife follow the princess while Lord Montague, his wife and Benvolio hang back.
"Oh Benvolio~! Are you okay? Were you here when the fight started?" Lord Montague questions the young man. His green eyes search the man for any cuts or bruises.
Benvolio smiles at his lord. "I'm fine daddy~! They were fighting before I got here. I tried to break them up but Canada told me not to."
Lady Montague sighs heavily. "His name's Tybalt here, Benvolio. By the way, have you seen Romeo?"
Benvolio shrugs. "Well, I went for a walk like the script said I did and I saw him under a tree. He ran before I could talk to him."
Lord Montague whimpers and covers his face with his palms. His shoulders tremble as he speaks. "He's so moody lately; more so than usual. He never comes home on time anymore! He locks himself in his room and plays creepy music all the time. I think my little Romeo is…suicidal!"
Benvolio gasps and whimpers, tears filling his eyes. He flings himself into his father's arms and cries into his shoulder. "Oh no daddy! Lovi can't be suicidal! The script says he dies at the end!"
"He may be Benny, he may be! He doesn't even talk to daddy anymore! And he used to be so cute! My poor little Romeo!"
"What the hell are you ignorant bastards going on about now?"
Montague and Benvolio separate and look to the newcomer. He looks just like Benvolio, except his hair's a chocolate brown and he's scowling. Oh yeah, and he's the main male character.
"Romeo there you are~! I was going to look for you to talk you out of killing yourself! You've got so much to live for, fratello!"
Romeo sputters incoherently. "Asdfjkl;…?"
Lady Montague puts away her frying pan and walks up to Romeo, placing a kiss on her son's cheek. "They think you're suicidal, set them straight." She grabs her husband by the arm and drags him off.
"Good morning Romeo~!"
"Shut the fuck up with all that yelling. It's too damn early."
"Aww Lovi~, what's wrong?" Benvolio questions, throwing an arm around Romeo's shoulders. The other brunette winces and throws his brother's arm off.
"It's Romeo, idiota! And nothing's wrong, so leave me alone."
Romeo turns to stomp off, leaving a trail of generic teenage angst behind him as he leaves. Benvolio chases after him, careful to watch out for the angst because the last time he slipped on Romeo's angst, he was in the hospital for a week.
Benvolio gasps in realization. "You're in love~!"
"What? No I'm-"
"Out of love?"
Romeo folds his arms over his chest and looks away. "…Whatever."
"Who is she?"
"Does it matter? She doesn't love me!" He throws his hands up in frustration but shrieks once he looks at the ground. "Holy shit! What happened here?"
"…Nothing." Benvolio answers, looking suspiciously suspicious for a few seconds before his attention span ran out and he starts to rock back on forth on his heels. "Aren't you gonna say the whole contradiction speech? That's what the script says."
"Fuck no! That shit's too long and doesn't make any sense and-why are you crying bastard? S-stop it!"
It's true, Benvolio's hazel eyes are once again filled with wet tears. "I'm crying because you're sad, fratello. I don't like it when mio fratello is sad." He wipes his eyes pathetically.
"Well that's what love does to a person. It makes your chest heavy and hurts your heart. I'm already pissed off and you're making it worse, bastard. I'm leaving."
"Wait Roma! Tell me who she is!"
Romeo ponders for a moment. "She is….a woman."
"Really~?" He's not surprised Benvolio's asking this question. "Duh, stupid bastard."
"What she like?"
"Beautiful," Romeo answers quickly. He catches his slip up and goes back into teenage angst mode. "but the bitch refuses to talk to me! She acts like she's better than everyone else with her precious 'virginity'".
"Ve~, she's a virgin?"
"Yes! She thinks that I say I love her, which I don't, just to tap that ass! I could give a rat's ass about her un-popped cherry. I don't give a fuck."
Benvolio nods and grabs his brother by the hand, stirring up homoerotic fantasies in the women they pass. "Listen Roma, don't think about her. The script says you'll find someone better!"
Romeo blushes at the contact and struggles to free his hand; his attempts are in vain. The women watching them are now giggling amongst themselves and writing things down. Damn it, Benvolio. "Fuck that, I'm done with love. Go cook me something to eat, I'm hungry."
Benvolio releases his hand (Thank goodness) and runs in the direction of the Montague house. "Okay~! You want pasta, brother?"
"Yes! And don't forget the tomato sauce!" Romeo has to always remind Benvolio of the damn tomato sauce because the last time he forgot, Romeo was in the hospital for a week.
Speaking of the hospital, Romeo trips and falls in his own puddle of teenage angst.
(Exeunt.)
AN: Scene One-COMPLETE. I hope no one was too bothered by the changes made.