chap: 2
ryu was standing outside goldenrod gym waiting on cole to get there. riolu opted to stand there with him but then again she never went in her ball anyway. she had an intense dislike and almost fear of pokeballs for reasons which she would not mention. the day was cool and cloudless a perfect day to kick someones ass. that someone was either going to be cole if he didnt show up soon, or kagura the leader of the gym. and if everything goes well the'yd both get stomped. kagura was whitneys replacement, has been for some time. no ones sure what happened to whitney she just dissapeared six years ago. some people have theories but nothings been confimed. kagura was a tall light skinned lady with almond shaped brown eyes. she also huge breast implants fake as blond hair and bleached teeth (also a bleeched asshole if the rumors are to be believed.) a few minutes later cole showed up looking like he usually did except his hair was scorched. infact everything about him was scorched
"the hell happened to you? you look like you just got out of a bad relationship with a magmar."
"torchic got bent outta shape about something." he muttered poking his thumb at the little bird walking next to him on the ground. "i think it had something to do with homestuck, i dont know. all's i can remember is something about dirk and thend blinding pain from a flamethrower attack." ryu looked at riolu remembering there own argument about dirk.
'such a silly thing to get so annoyed about.' ryu thought ' but then again dave is better no matter what anyone says and im not letting this little blue fur ball that shits in a box cause its not tall enough to use the toilet say that dirk is better, id rather get my ass kicked again.'
"right... well lets beat kagura and then get going." ryu said doing his best not to start laughing.
plowing through the gym trainers was easy enough most of there pokemon ony needing one or two attacks to take em out. then they got to where kagura was supposed to be... and she wasnt there. ryu not to be cheated started looking immeadiatly with cole right behind him. they found a door partially opened with light on the other side. there was some... wet... sound... coming from the room. ryu being his sneaky self decided to take a peak, and what he saw did not suprise him at all. kagura, a total whore if the rumors are to be believed, was slobering all over the cock of a zangoose. apparently she was doing pretty well to considering the look on the zangooses face. ryu always the prudent one whipped out his camera and stared video taping it. because of ryu's years of doing and seeing crazy ass shit wasnt all that alarmed at what was going on nor was he that bothered. in the world they lived this sort of thing was common, and while not everyone knew about it, it was not only legal but endorsed by the pokemon league. as long as everyones willing and knows what they're getting into know one gives a shit as long as you dont start humping on the streets. cole unfortunatly was not aware of this fact (nor was he aware of kaguras reputation), and due to the sheer size of the zangoose kagura had a few tears in her eyes due to her gag reflex. coles reponse was,
" HOLY SHIT THAT ZANGOOSE IS MOUTH RAPING KAGURA!" of course they both heard that an whipped there heads around in suprise. that also happened to be the same moment that the zangoose came. so he accidentally shot his load in kaguras eye as well as all over her hair. the resulting scream of pain was downright hilarious. ryu was very glad he got that on tape and was going to put that on facebook later. after a bit of cleaning up later ryu and (begrudingly) kagura got to explaining what actually happened "ok there is no way that that could have been consensual. i mean you were crying for christ sake."
" yeah this was totally nonconsensual, i mean look at that face. that look of joy and ecstacy could only indicate rape. and of course everyone knows that when you force girls to blow you they start immediatly fingering themselves which is what my camera says happened." ryu condesendingly ranted while showing cole the footage.
" HEY! you filmed that? give it here now!" kagura squeled in that annoying voice of hers
"battle me for it" ryu says in a nonchalant voice " you win you get the camera i win however and i get the badge and keep my camera."
" fine im going to kick your ass up and down this gym you little bitch." kagura shouted in a very whore like manner and cole either losing interest in the conversation or just not giving a shit in general put up his headphones and sat on the bleachers to watch the show.
"so how we gonna do this?" ryu questioned kagura after they had taken there places
" two on two bitch and since you dont have any badges i guess ill go easy on you" cole chuckled to himself in the corner and ryu just smirked
" thats fine by me. ralts come on out and fuck this bitch up.!" ryu shouted and threw the ball containing ralts into the middle of the field. ralts appeared in a flash of light and unexpectadly had a whiskey bottle in her hand.
"fuck im up cleffa" kagura cursed as she tossed the ball revealing a tiny pink ball of shit.
"ralts would you kindly use confusion and end this travesty?"
"yoush gots it boshs" ralts slured in a drunken frenzy. but it succesfully blasted that cleffa into unconsciousness with one blow.
"so kagura,want to concede now or get your ass kicked more?" ryu taunted
"fuck off pretty boy. cleffa return" kagura pointed the ball and returned the bleeding cleffa " taurous fuck this bitch up" kagura shouted and tossed a ball containing a very pissed off looking tauros.
"ralts use psy-WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" ryu shielded his eyes from the bright light that was emanating from ralts. as the light grew brighter she got bigger until the light subsided leaving behind a slightly less drunk kirlia.
"well that felt... pretty good. cant wait to do that again. now what were you saying boss?
"err yeah go ahead and use psywave on that tauros. if you knock it out with one hit i'll buy you another bottle of whiskey before we leave town.
" you got it." kirlia said then proceeded to fight.
it actually wasnt much of a fight. kirlia started by teleporting behind the tauros effectively confusing the fuck out of it. then she gathered her psychic powers in shimmering blue waves and blasted the tauros with them all at once knocking it out again in one hit. kagura was understandibly shocked. " how the fuck did a no badge douche bag like you beat me?."
" my pokemon spent a lot of time in the daycare visiting friends of theres, and while they were there they were always getting stronger." ryu casually responded " now if you dont mind id like my badge now." he held out his hand in a douchy gesture of supperiority. whitney angrily took a badge and placed it in his hand. " great now if you dont mind how about you give my friend cole a battle. if i know him like i think i do then he is itching to make your pokemon bleed." cole who had taken off his headphones at this point was silently snickering in the corner.
"fine at the very least ill beat one of you." kagura pouted and took her place on the field.
"cole shes all ready for ya." ryu shouted up to his friend after he recalled kirlia.
"thanks bud." cole said and he slowly made his way down the bleachers when he reached the trainers box he called out to kagura " just so you know im just as strong as he was so you might want to go a little harder on me."