AN
It took a while but I have the next chapter out. The good news is that I have a substantial amount of this written already, all of it if I don't write up that one scene about Dadan...
Luffy pouted.
This girl, Miss Wedding or something, was telling them someone was trying to take over her country, but told him that he couldn't ask her who. "But you know, don't you?" He asked. He wanted to know if this guy was strong. If he would be worth fighting.
"Don't ask me that! I can't tell you that! If I told you they'd hunt you down too." Miss Windsy was getting close to hysteris now. And Nami was laughing.
"We wouldn't want that ." It sounded somewhat hollow to Luffy's ears. "If he's trying to take over an entire nation, he must be strong, right?"
Miss Landsay nodded sonemlike. "Yes. He is. Even the strongest have no hope to even touch him. He'll slaughter you. The shichibukai, CROCODILE!" She was almost yelling by the end it. There was two seconds of calm.
"Ah. You mean Mum?"
"Right. You understand there's no way you can go against someone like that, especially if Crocodile is your mum." Pause.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" She was really freaking out now, all sharp toothed and staring at him. Luffy was getting odd looks from Zoro, too. And that weird vulture-otter pair watching them had fallen backwards off their perch. Nami seemed to be close to sobbing. She can be so draman-kick.
The vulture-otter pair had sorted themselves out enough to fly away. Everyone stared.
"Hey!" Nami can be scary. "What was that with the two animals? One of the shichibukai is gonna be after us! What's going to happen to us? Are we gonna die? We're gonna die!" Nami was shaking the poor girl by the shoulders.
"I'm so, so sorry." Miss Lohan cried, "it just slipped out! What was it that you're captain said?" She tried to switch the subject back, both to distract the crazy navigator shaking her and verify something, but it was too late.
"Sorry won't cut it! You've gotten us mixed up in this and Luffy will want to meet his Mum. We're going to die and it's all your fault. Why, Miss Wednesday, Why?" So that was her name.
"Call me Vivi. Tell me about the part where you think Crocodile is Luffy's Mum." That got their attention. Three heads turned to look at Luffy. Who was casually picking his nose.
"Dad said, 'your mother is Crocodile. A Pirate.' S Crocodile is my Mum."
"That makes no sense at all. Crocodile is a man!" There were shocked looks all around.
"So?" Luffy asked. He truly didn't see the problem.
"I'll tell you why Crocodile can't be your Mum while we're on the sea, okay Luffy." Zoro told him, honestly bored with all the chaos.
"Whatever." Nami declared suddenly, standing up from where she had been crying into the wall. "They don't know my face yet. I am getting out of here." Nami stormed off. It was only a minute later she came back with tears streaming down her face, blubbering about stupid animals that can draw.
Smoker had found himself in the desert kingdom of Alabasta after gruelling months of following the trail of mischief left behind by that Straw Hat brat. After seeing the hundred bounty hunters that had been laid out by the swords brat Tashigi was so interested in, Roronoa, in Whiskey Peak and then the reforming on the newly christened Sakura Island, Smoker was reasonably sure they'd be here in Alabasta. While Straw Hat wasn't the pirate in front of him now, Fire Fist Ace was.
"What's one of Whitebeard's commanders doing in this part of the grand line?" He asked, getting a cocky smirk in reply.
"I'm looking for someone. What about you, what brings a marine captain such as yourself to pirate infested waters like these?" Smoker grit his teeth around his cigars.
"I'm chasing a pirate." He told the boy, with just enough sarcasm to get across what he thought of the menace.
"Well. You could just let me go, then. No need to duke it out when you're hunting other prey." Portgas didn't move didn't move from where he was slouched against the bar, one elbow braced behind him for support, an ankle draped over the other knee and hat tilted back to get a good view of the entire restaurant. Smoker observed the slight flickering of flames on the hand holding his hat up and reacted accordingly.
"But you're still a pirate and I'm still a marine," he said, arms billowing into smoke, "which means I'm going to have to take you in." Smoker prepared to attack but just as he was about to take that first step forward, something large slammed into him with a substantial amount of force from behind. Smoker was propelled into Portgas and the two of them went through the bar, the wall, another wall, an alley, a third wall and then Portgas was crashing through several more walls alone because Smoker was laid out and groaning in the middle of a pile of rubble.
When Portgas D Ace finally stopped crashing through walls he groaned, cursed, got up and started picking his way through the holes he had made in the walls. He made sure to properly apologise to the family whose meal he had interrupted using the manners that had been patiently taught to him by Makino in his teen years - that woman is an absolute saint - and continued on his way. He carefully stepped over the grumpy marine and prepared to re-enter the restaurant.
"Lu." He called out happily, for there was the man he had been waiting for, his baby broth-
Ace's head was slammed suddenly and unforgivingly into the floor from behind. It was probably the marine captain, judging by the way his attacker was standing over him. There was the sound of someone eating a lot of food in a short amount of time and then the weight was lifted off him. Ace lifted his head just in time to see his brother being chased out of the restaurant by the marine captain.
"Hey wait. Luffy." He called, running out after them.
Smoker chased Straw Hat through the streets and over the roofs of Nanohana, his ever faithful subordinates trailing behind. When he finally came close to catching Straw Hat, the young idiot had run straight to the rest of his crew and now all of them, laden down with supplies, were running away from him and his minions.
All of a sudden a blazing ball of fire planted itself between him and his prey and formed itself into a man.
"Portgas." Smoker growled. He almost missed the questioning 'Ace?' that came from the pirates side of the strange three way standoff.
"Go ahead, Luffy. I'll catch up."Portgas said, talking back over his shoulder. His one hand was out in front of him, alight with fire. His other hand was clenched in a fist except that one index finger that was holding his hat up in that way he seemed oh-so-fond of. Why didn't he just grab himself a hat that fit rather than some outrageously over-bright orange monstrosity
"Fire Fist. Step aside." Smoker growled, placing a pair of cigars in his mouth and lighting them. This wasn't the first time Straw Hat had been protected by someone who was seas out of his league and Smoker was sure he'd need the tobacco. "Why are you helping him."
Portgas pulled a disturbing manoeuvre involving his pinkie finger and his nose. "Why wouldn't I help him?" He retorted, lighting up even more in obvious preparation for a fight. Smoker will personally beat the brat if he says something stupid like 'I wanted to test my logia against yours,' or 'just on a whim,' like the stupid D he is. Not to mention the issues there will be if the brat spews something about lovers, childhood friends or secret attachments to New World pirate legends. "Who would I be if I didn't protect my bumbling kid brother?"
Smoker sighed. He was going to need something stronger than his usual cigars. Maybe a logia battle with a D pirate would help.
"So Luffy, who was that?" Someone asked, somehow finding the breath while they were all running away. Most of the crew were too focused running to care.
"Ace? He's my brother. Shishishishi," came from somewhere behind them. The sound of people tripping was loud and numerous.
"I'm not entirely sure why I'm surprised." Nami said, getting her feet back under her.
"Why shouldn't you be surprised? After meeting Luffy's father, I'd be surprised be surprised if his cousin turned out to be a farmer." Sanji replied, oddly serious.
"It shouldn't matter." Zoro said, loyal to his captain no matter what. "What I want to know, is what's with the names. Why D?"
"Who is he anyway? He had a jolly roger tattooed on his back, so he must be a pirate, right? And a strong one to just take on the marines like that?" Vivi asked, just a little confused.
"That's what I'd like to know. Luffy, who is your- Luffy?" Nami started, realising the crew was on the Going Merry but their troublesome captain was not. "Aaah. Luffy!" She screamed, alerting everyone else to how unnaturally quiet it was.
"It's fine." Zoro said calmly, "he and Fire Fist are on the shore, Luffy's waving at us."
"Fire Fist? As in one of Whitebeard's commanders, 'Portgas D Ace' Fire Fist?" Vivi asked, somewhat faint.
"Ace is really strong. He left to become a pirate three years before I did." Said a sudden voice from the middle of the deck. "I was never able to beat him in a fight when we were kids. Bet I could beat him now."
"Who could you beat?" Ace asked, landing crouched on the railing behind Luffy.
"It's a family of monsters." Usopp gibbered, he got a couple of nods from Nami and Chopper but mostly was ignored.
"Ace!" Luffy yelped, falling forwards. "You're here."
"I heard about the trouble caused by you and your merry band of misfits here and had to come see you. How did you get on the radar of White Chase Smoker?"
"I dunno." Luffy replied, glibly picking his nose. "He nearly caught me at that place where Roger died. I can't really remember, but Ace, I met my Dad!" Luffy looked so happy at this fact. Ace narrowed his eyes.
"I don't want to know, Luffy. If he's who I think he is, you shouldn't go around telling people." Ace told him sternly. The more observant Straw Hats wondered at the shadows that seemed to pass over the older brother's face.
"But Ace! I want to tell you! I saw what the pirate king saw when he died. I climbed the execution platform. Smokey tried to drag me down but my legs got tangled up in the beams.-" And Luffy proceeded to tell his brother about the trouble he got into at Logue Town, right up until the part about the cloaked man on the ship.
"Luffy." He growled, face covered by shadows. "What were you thinking?! You could have died! It's not normal to be that stupid." Ace thumped his brother over the top of his head, now I'm too scared to leave you alone. Guess I'll be travelling with you then. Where are we going?"
"Really?" Luffy yelled, exuberant. "Ace is gonna join my crew? I'm still captain though."
Ace shook his head and sighed fondly. "It's just for now, Lu. I'm hunting someone for my own captain so it'll be just until I hear something about where he is. So where are we going?"
"So Luffy." Ace said suddenly, after checking they were the only people in this part of the Alabastian desert. "Your father. The shitty geezer only told me about his one son who is a revolutionary; Monkey D Dragon or something, he'd be your father, yeah? Is he strong?"
"I'm sorry," the blue-haired one interjected,. Apparently her name was Vivi and she was supposed to be the princess of this forsaken land. Ace had nothing against the heat, but there was too much sand for his taste. "Did you say 'Dragon,' as in the leader of the revolutionaries, Dragon?"
"Yeah," Luffy replied, no hesitation, "he's my Dad." Vivi tripped.
"So he's strong then?" Ace asked again. Vivi almost fell over. She was only saved by Sanji.
"He's only the world's most wanted man. Even more than your captain, Whitebeard. Depending on who you talk to, he might even be worse than the old pirate king. Alabasta is a country of the world council, which makes us enemies, and you're saying he's your father!" Vivi was almost hysterical.
"Ne, Ace, did you hear that? My Dad's just as bad as yours. Wow Vivi, you're so smart." More intelligent Straw Hat pirates than Luffy had moved away from Ace when flames started licking at his skin.
"I- I don't get it." Usopp stuttered, "if you're brother's, shouldn't your parents be the same?"
"Shishishi," Luffy laughed, "Ace is adopted. Grandpa took him in because his father was-"
"Luffy."Ace growled, cuffing his brother as warning to shut up.
"So who was Ace's father?" Chopper asked, somewhat naively.
"Ace's father was Gol D- OW! ACE!" Ace had channelled the meagre amount of haki his ship brothers had taught him into his fist and brought it down on the top of Luffy's head.
"You said you'd never tell anyone." He told Luffy angrily before walking off in a snit.
"Stupid Ace. Punching like Grandpa. That hurt." Luffy mumbled, following after his brother.
"How do you hurt rubber?" Sanji asked the world in general. Maybe it would help keep his food stocks… well, stocked.
"Probably with fire, shitty cook." Was the reply. Mainly from Zoro.
"What did you say, Marimo?" Sanji snarled back, the two of them devolving into another brawl.
"I don't know and I don't want to know. That family is officially scary." Nami declared this resolutely, boldly and to the agreement of Usopp, Chopper and Vivi.
"And the Shitty Geezer wanted us to be marines." Ace shouted from where he was in front of them.
"Bleh." Luffy affirmed. "Never going to be a marine."
AN
Please leave a review. Preferably to tell me that my jokes suck and not to be so wrinkled.
5/09 fixed it! Damn, what a problem...