Chapter Two-Trying

            AN: I took a little break from writing this since I had no reviews.  I don't know why but this story has stuck with me.  I'm going to try and repost the first chapter and I have changed the title.  Please, feed back is good, even if you tell me I suck (just be constructive and explain why I suck!).  Thanks!

            The Honey Bee wasn't as sweet as it sounds.  The restaurant wasn't clean but the clientele didn't want to eat.  They didn't want to sit down and chat over happy hour, hell, the "restaurant" wasn't even opened during happy hours.  The place was a total dive.  It attracted the likes of pimps, prostitutes and drug lords.  I had seen people raped around the area as well as tripped over dirty needles.

            My first night there wasn't a very happy experience.  I had men approach me thinking that I was a hooker.  I had men corner me and threatened me if I didn't have sex with them.  Luckily my boss stepped in and explained I was just the new help.  Some of the men looked at me up and down and smiled.  Then they asked if I wanted a job that paid more than my new one.  I politely said no and then got back to work.

            "Interesting place, isn't it toots?" A slender tall blond asked.

            "I'm sorry, are you talking to me?"  I asked.

            "You are new, aren't you?"  Without waiting for an answer she introduced herself.  "I'm Candice. I've been here for just over six months. Well, at this job anyways.  I've been in the city for almost four years.  I'm sorry, listen to me just babble, I didn't get your name."  

            "April.  I'm April, nice to meet you," I said.  I looked at her.  She didn't seem older than me.  Then I wondered if she was my age, how she had been in the city for almost four years? That would have made her fourteen and on her own.  "Is it always crazy here?"

            Candice offered me a cigarette.  "Of course it is.  My advice to you my friend is never walk around here alone.  A lot can happen. Where are you staying?"

            The truth was I was staying in the park. I didn't have a home.  "I'm around."

            Candice shook her head.  "You have no place to go?  Why don't you stay with me?  I have a couch you could crash on my couch.  What time are you off?"

            "At five."

                        "Me too.  I'll walk you to my place after our shifts are over and we'll talk some more."  Candice explained as she died her cigarette out and saw our boss signaling to her.  "Work calls hon."

            The rest of the night wasn't that bad.  I had my ass grabbed numerous times as well as vulgar comments but I dealt with it.  Soon it was five.  Thank God, I sighed. 

            "Ready April?"  Candice said to me.  She was serious about me living with her, I was shocked.

            I gathered my few belongings and followed her out the door. 

            "It's a cool morning, isn't it?"  All I did was nod.  She could tell I was a little uncomfortable so she tried breaking the ice another way.

            "Not the talking type hu?  Well, I can surely do enough talking for the both of us.  I ran away from my foster family when I was younger.  I was being abused by my foster parents.  My foster mother used to tell me I was no good and used to throw stuff at me.  She limited my food because she told me I was getting too fat. I reported them but no one believed me.  When social services told them I had reported my foster mom, things progressively got worse.  The beating became more frequent and food became less frequent.  I had to earn my food.  Hell, my foster father even had his fun with me in the bedroom."  Candice shared as she teared up a little.  "That's what brought me here.  I knew that no one would look for me.  I've been through so much shit that I want to get my GED and then go to college to be a therapist.  I have had a lot of experience and feel that I could help other girls.  It will be years and years until I get there, but I will."

            I just stared at her, I couldn't imagine growing up without my family.  My family had been supportive, until I screwed up.

            "What about you?  What's your story?"  She switched subjects.

            I explained to her my family life.  I explained how I went from a life of privilege to living on the streets.  "I just enjoy the drugs.  It's hard to give it up."

            Candice's smile got big.  "I understand that.  I have some stuff back at my place if you'd like to share."

            "Really?  You would do that?"  I remember asking her dumbfound.

            Candice smiled and laughed.  "We're family now so of course, I'd share with you!"

            Life with Candice was fun.  We worked the same shifts and were always together.  She knew the best parties to go to.  We got high and shot up frequently.  I hardly remember a time when I wasn't on some kind of high.

            It was around Christmas time when I found myself near Rockefeller Center.  I don't know what I was doing there as I was in between highs.  I roamed through the area and walked over to Saks.  I looked in the window as people hurried by me.  Someone even slipped a twenty dollar bill in my pocket.  Talk about Christmas generosity.

            I was about to leave when someone caught my eye at the door.  It was a woman

with a baby carriage.  As the woman got closer to me she looked at me.

            "April?"  The woman asked.

            I looked closer.  I knew her, I knew I did.  As I glanced at her it dawned on me.  It was Julie, my sister.  My sister was married and had a one year old son. 

            "Julie.  He's so big."

            Julie studied me.  At the time I thought she was putting her noise down at me.  Now looking back, she was just saddened by my image.  She was saddened by the relationship we once had where it lead.  No matter what I did, that relationship would never be again.

            We exchanged small talk for a few minutes.  She then did something that I am still surprised over.  "Here, take this.  Get yourself something to eat and god April, get some new clothes.  April, I wish you would change.  I want David to know his aunt.  When you get some help, call me.  I love you and miss you.  Take care of yourself."  Julie said as she gave me a kiss on my dirty cheek.

            I looked down at the money.  There was over two hundred dollars in my hands.  There was also a business card with Julie's number. 

            I was angry and stormed back to Candice's apartment.  I was looking for our stash and found nothing but weed.  Then I looked in a different place and found the needle and the white powder. 

            Crying I searched for a rubber band, a piece of cloth, something I could try and get a vein with.  I was crying.  I wanted the pain to stop.  I found a rubber band and sat on the floor.  I tried to get a vein going but I was too upset.  I studied the needle for a minute.  I slammed it on the floor and cried.

            Images of my sister and her son flashed through my head.  Then I saw my parents and my childhood home and Julie again.  I knew what I had to do and I was ready to do it.

            I got up and looked for a piece of paper and a pen.  I started writing:

                                                Candice,

                               I am so sorry to say goodbye this way.  I have to leave.  Know how we always laughed at the thought of getting help?  I saw my sister and I am going to get cleaned up. She has a baby and this whole other life I don't know about.  I need to try and clean up so I can see the baby. I can't clean up and be here.   Thank you for being there when no one else was.  I wish you luck.  You are going to be a great counselor and help a lot of girls like us.

                                                The best, April   

            I dropped the note, grabbed a few belongings and took one last work.  I was leaving.  I left and looked for a shelter to get help.