A/N: I don't have a posting schedule as of yet, in all honesty, I didn't want to start uploading until I finished at least three-quarters (pun intended) of the story, but seeing as I've been thinking of the story for quite some time, I wanted to see if people would like it.
I have a few chapters written, but still need to be edited (hence my preference to get a beta), and I have the story outlined in my head but actually writing it does take some time.
Unfortunately, my finals will start soon and so I can't really make a schedule, but after that, I'll hopefully update regularly.
Chapter 2- Mr Know-it-All
Severus exited the bathroom and finished getting ready.
Thinking about his choices, he decided to walk the way instead of Flooing or Apparating.
Yes, walking would help him think, and god knows how much he needed to think.
It's not like he could use his time doing anything else except brewing... which he'd done more than enough that he pretty much finished his next week's orders. So unless a random client suddenly ordered something urgent, he wasn't going to brew anything except if it is for his own use or for his own state of mind.
But he had enough brewing for now.
No, he needed to think about his life instead of the formula of a potion.
With that in mind, he left his house and went on.
This old house that he spent his childhood in, was his only company nowadays.
His mother decided to return to the wizarding world after his father's death, and so, with the small fortune he managed to save from teaching at Hogwarts by then, he bought her a nice small house next to The Burrow where she spent most of her time with the Weasleys.
He lived alone in his childhood house ever since, or rather, spent most of his summers there.
She and Molly became good friends and he was delighted to notice how much it changed his mother's demeanour.
If only she wouldn't bother him every now and then to go live with her since 'he is living alone now, in an old house, with no wife to feed him and keep him company.' She also declared her disliking of the fact that she's no longer able to visit her grandchildren anytime she wanted, so spending as much time as possible with her only son was the only thing that'd ease her distress.
But Severus absolutely refused, claiming that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Not to mention that he also didn't have a wife just twelve years ago and he could live perfectly fine. Add to that, the fact that he was a spy for many years and survived a deathly war, and one could conclude that he deserved to be treated as an independent adult.
That if being over fifty years old with two kids didn't say anything.
But then again, his mother's genuine intentions were to help him cope with the number of problems that fell on his head at once, and the sudden change of being happily married with a perfect family to being miserably alone and nearly divorced.
In fact, his journey today was another attempt to finally finish the divorce and get it over with.
But living in the wizarding world, where divorces were rarely heard of, and the fact that they both were initially reluctant prolonged the matter.
Actually, he still didn't want to finish it once and for all. He still loved his wife with all his heart, and he couldn't stand the thought of ruining his children's life by breaking their family apart.
But he figured that acting like the stupid victim, who would do anything to redeem his mistakes, using his children and love as a reason to be forgiven was something Hermione wouldn't appreciate.
Neither did he for that matter, he still didn't forgive himself to try to gain her forgiveness anyway.
If she wanted to get a divorce, he would give it to her. Doing whatever she wanted was his only way to try and lift some of the guilt he felt for what he did, and keeping up his cold persona around her would help her go on with the decision she made.
There was no denying he loved her, but he wasn't about to keep reminding her of that like a creepy idiot.
Severus took notice of the children playing in the park next to the coffee shop he was heading to. Looking at them he wondered if his children would enjoy the park as much if he brought them here tomorrow.
He only had them for the weekends and wanted to let them enjoy the whole time if he could.
He knew how much the recent events affected them and was pained every time he noticed how they were trying to pretend that everything was okay, certainly, a trait they inherited from him, he thought dolefully. Especially his eldest, who kept for himself most of the time and occasionally shot meaningful looks toward his father.
Unlike her brother, Arya was more open of her feelings, but he supposed it was due to her young age. After all, no one would expect more of a five years old who went through all of this, while she was supposed to be loved and tucked in bed by both of her parents. As she was used to.
Severus noticed his feelings were going loose, so he tried to compose himself. Using his Occlumency shield before entering the coffee shop.
He immediately found the person he was looking for. The man was wearing a nice suit, with papers scattered on the table in front of him. He surprisingly mingled well with the muggles around him and would pass as a muggle lawyer, which wouldn't be the case with most of the pureblooded wizards, and the fact that the man was Albus's counsellor before -The wizard who never took off his robes- only increased the surprise.
When he noticed Severus, he gave a gentle wave and stood up.
"Severus Snape"
"Mr Bolton"
They shook hands and sat down across each other.
"How have you been, Mr Snape? are recent events any easier for you?" the man said with genuine concern.
"I'm doing fine, Thank you"
He didn't want to talk about his feelings, not to anyone and especially not to his lawyer.
The man nodded as if he understood the deep meaning of the answer.
Seriously, the man acted just like Albus. If not for the completely bald head and the not-so-Albus voice, Severus would've doubted his magic and his ability to cast a killing curse.
"I take it you still have the same demands we filed last time?"
Severus nodded "I accept anything the other part demands, as long as they don't somehow contradict with the demands I lastly stated"
"Your wife lives in the house with the children, with monthly salary going to her Gringotts account and the saving account you both made for your children?" Mr Bolton read from one of the papers he was holding.
"Yes, and I get to see the children at least once -"
"These papers show that the other part didn't accept some of your demands"
Severus abhorred being interrupted, but he was concerned with what he heard to care, and he wasn't going to make a scene with this elder man in a coffee shop anyway.
"Which ones specifically?"
"Your wife refuses to continue living in your house, she is also not accepting the monthly salary you suggested going to her account."
Severus sighed, he knew she'd fuss about it, but she needed to see reason.
"I'll talk to her."
Bolton nodded and went on other matters regarding the divorce and how it is to be done.
By the time they were finished Severus was emotionally exhausted. Talking about the divorce and breaking his family while trying to keep up the occlumency shield was worse than many things he experienced in his life, and he did experience a lot.
"When will it be completely over?" he drawled.
"If all went according to plan, you may be fully divorced in about three weeks, which is statistically not long. It does take some time, you know the wizarding world."
Severus nodded solemnly and paid for the coffee.
On his way back, he passed a pub he regularly attended when he used to live here. He did attend pubs often to celebrate his miserable existence but never had enough to make himself drunk, knowing that alcohol didn't have the best reputation in his family.
If he really wanted to get drunk on rare occasions, such as the night when he was told he had to kill Dumbledore, he would do it in the solitude of his house. Drinking until he could no longer feel anything.
That never happened after he got married and had children, except for that one miserable night.
After that night alcohol never entered his mouth.
When he finally got home, he could tell someone was already inside by the smell of food.
Just like the time when he lived here with his wife, he'd get home to be welcomed by a delicious smell and a lovely wife.
"Welcome home, Severus" a voice called just as he opened the front door.
"How many times did I tell you to inform me before visiting?"
"I did floo call you, but you never answered."
"That's because I was outside, Mother"
"Yes, I could tell"
He rolled his eyes and picked the Daily Prophet checking the headlines while heading to sit on the sofa.
"Why are you here?"
"I can't visit my only son just because I miss him?"
"I visited you last week," he said that as if he wasn't sure if he'd done it or not.
"So?"
"Mother, I do appreciate your concern, but I am quite alright."
"You know you are only lying to yourself, Severus."
He sighed and they both fell silent.
His mother was making lasagna, one he always enjoyed as a kid.
"When can I see my grandchildren?" she asked casually, putting plates on the table.
"I'll have them tomorrow. You can visit anytime you want during the weekend."
After a while he added, "but do make sure to inform me, I don't plan on staying home all day long."
His mother opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted "Use a Patronus, Mother. Floo calling while I'm not home is not informing."
"Very well."
Ten minutes later the food was ready, and they were sitting at the table.
"How are things with Hermione?"
"We will be divorced within three weeks or so."
She shook her head "I still don't understand why you'd both agree on it. Can't you just fix your problems while still being married? divorce is not an easy choice, Severus, it will change everything."
He didn't say anything, so she kept going, "I know what you were going through affected both of you, but that's normal. You both love each other, you can get over it"
Severus put his fork down, obviously annoyed.
"As I told you before, Mother, there are other reasons that we are making this decision. I do know what divorce means, perhaps you should've tried it instead of living in a falling marriage until my father died," he retorted harshly.
He noticed how his words affected his mother, but she quickly changed her expression.
"You do not speak to me with that tone, Severus. I am your mother," she said sternly as if he was still a young child having a tantrum.
"I might not be the perfect person to give marriage advice, but I do know you and Hermione could get through it if each of you stopped being so stubborn and hotheaded. Just talk it together, for your children's sake"
"You do not know everything that happened, it's not just that."
"Then tell me, Severus"
She caught his eyes as he glanced at her and she could see his conflicted feelings. His face betrayed nothing, as always, she knew her son had mastered occlumency long time ago, even surpassing her at a young age, his eyes, however, reached out to her, in a way that only a son could reach his mother. She could see pain and uncertainty in them and somehow she started feeling those emotions as well.
After a few moments of silence, he sighed," I can't."
When he noticed her disappointment, he added, "at least not yet, I still don't feel comfortable enough talking about it."
She nodded understandingly.
"I'm only interfering because I want what is good for you, you know that, right? Just like you want what's best for your children."
"Yes, I know that, Mother."
"Thank you," he added quietly.
And he meant it.
Severus felt weird knocking on the door of his own house. He'd been doing it ever since he left the house and would come to get the children for the weekend when it was finally his time to have them.
He longed for the time where he used to Floo home and be welcomed by three happy faces, but Flooing there now would cause more awkwardness than he could handle.
Yes, this will always be his home where his family lives, but it's no longer his house.
So, he just apparated close by and entered the gate.
When the door opened he was greeted with a full force hug by a black-headed little human.
He lifted his daughter up and kissed her brow.
"Hello, little snake, did you miss me?"
His daughter hugged his neck more tightly and said in the most serious voice she could muster, "no, I didn't miss you"
He looked at her as if in shock, so she giggled and kissed his cheek "don't be silly, Daddy. Of course, I missed you, I missed you so much !"
"I'm not silly, cheeky brat. I missed you too"
She laughed while he picked out something from his pocket.
"I didn't come alone"
He waved a stuffed owl at her.
"Mr Know-it-All!" she hugged it with one hand keeping her other around her father's neck.
When she announced the name of that owl after her father brought it home from one of his potions related journeys to America, he spent the day receiving scary glares from his wife.
Unbeknownst to her, he had nothing to do with that name, except that he made a comment to his daughter of how owls were known to be wise and resourceful, just like her mother.
How the cheeky brat chose this name among many others was beyond him.
"You forgot it at Spinner's End, last time you were there," he explained.
"I didn't forget him!"
He narrowed his eyes, "didn't you ?"
She shook her little head, "no, I left him there to keep you company! He can help you with your potions, Dad! He knows it all"
He smiled at her cheek, wondering how he got to have such a smart and caring daughter.
"But if you are coming back, I can have him again," she added.
Severus's heart fell at that, it pained him every time she implied that she still hopes he would one day come back to live with them. Of course, he and Hermione had talked to her individually and explained how things will be from now on. His daughter understood what they said, she knew that Mommy and Daddy would no longer live at the same house together, but she made a habit of always making comments implying that it won't be forever, and how she always misses one parent when she's with the other. As if making those comments would somehow make them see reason.
How he wished that was the case.
He couldn't, however, bring himself to crash her hopes, so he merely settled on addressing the present instead of the future.
"That's very considerate of you, Arya, but I'm afraid I only came to fetch you and your brother."
Her face fell at this answer, but she quickly waved the toy and made her voice even more high-pitched, as if the toy was talking, "then I will stay with you, Papa Severus"
Severus chuckled more at the name than his daughter's funny voice. She always surprised him with the variety of names her toys used to 'call' him.
"Where is your brother?"
"He is in the bathroom taking a shower. He woke up late"
Severus nodded and entered the house, his daughter in his arms.
"And your mother?"
"I'm in here! one second."
Her voice came out from the guest bathroom in the first-floor. He could hear her flushing the toilet and washing her hands, then the door opened.
When she met his eyes, she gave him a weird look as if trying to figure out something. He was sure he looked just like the Severus she always knew, so he couldn't tell what was going on in her mind.
"Good morning, Hermione," he greeted.
"Morning..." she was a little flustered and quickly made her way to the living room waving him in.
He whispered to his daughter to go get ready and inform her brother of his arrival.
"I'm in a rush, as we have a meeting in half an hour. Otherwise, I'd have offered some tea." She sat on the sofa and started wearing her high heels.
She was an important member of The Department of Magical Law Enforcement. This job was nothing short of demanding which led her to refuse to become the head of the department, she already had a lot on her plate as she put it when Severus asked why. He didn't want her to notice, but really, he was relieved she refused. Her job already took a lot of her time and honestly, he'd have advised her to quit if not for how comfortable she felt and how good she was in it, not to mention she had both of her best friends working in the same place, since the Auror Department is the main division of Department of Magic Law Enforcement.
He'd have supported her either way, for he knew his wife loved to progress and always worked on getting better, but he figured it was for the best. If she did accept to be the head of that department she probably wouldn't be able to take days off on short notices as she had done after her miscarriage, and that would've ruined her. But she did refuse without him saying anything, so he wasn't about to argue with that.
"It's alright, have you bought Theodore's school supplies yet?"
"No, we plan to go next week with Harry and Ginny, they wanted to visit the Quidditch store and thought they'd come and bring the kids along. I assume you'll get Theo his potions books?"
Severus nodded, "leave anything potions related to me."
Since they both fell silent he figured he may as well approach the subject.
"I've had a meeting with my lawyer yesterday. He said you disagree with some of my terms."
"I did"
"You 'did' ?"
"It probably was a rash decision, I'm having second thoughts."
"About the divorce?" He was confused.
"About refusing your demands," she said quickly.
"It's probably best if we let the children live in a familiar place while going through this. As for your other demand, I still refuse to be provided with money, as I am perfectly capable of providing for myself and my children," she said all of that as if she spent her morning today trying to memorize what she wanted to say.
"They are my children too. It is my responsibility to provide for them," he said sternly.
"I'm not objecting you providing for their Gringotts account and you already pay the bills for this house," she almost said that before he got the chance to answer. It's like she really was preparing for this conversation before it even started.
"It's a saving account and giving them a place to live in is hardly called providing. Would you agree if I personally give them a small fortune every month and tell them to provide for themselves?" he challenged.
"I certainly would not, and you wouldn't dare do that," she said, annoyed.
Probably didn't practice for that answer, he mused.
"I would if you continue denying them what is theirs. I am their father, and I do make quite a good salary to perfectly take care of my family financially. Now, if you don't want to have anything to do with my money, I won't force you, you can spend all of it on them in any way you deem fit, as long as it's not spoiling. I'm sure you would not do that even without me saying anything," he lectured as if he was in his potions class, using this way to leave her completely speechless and win the argument.
Theo chose this moment to show up. He was wearing a blue muggle shirt with black pants, holding a black jacket in one hand while lifting his backpack with the other. His brown hair was still wet from the shower and his hazel eyes -that he and his sister inherited from their maternal grandfather- were looking at each parent, as if trying to gauge the heat of the argument.
"Good morning, Theo. Are you ready to leave? " Severus asked.
Arya was already outside the door and Hermione followed her to say her goodbyes and go on her way as well.
Theo looked at his father and asked in a low voice "What were you talking about?"
"Nothing you must know," he answered, putting his hands on his son's shoulders and pushing him towards the door.
"Did you yell at her?"
Severus looked at his son and stopped suddenly, raising an eyebrow.
"No, we were just talking."
Hermione kissed both of her children and made sure they got everything before apparating away, leaving Severus with the children just outside the gate.
He looked at them and said, "do you fancy a walk?" They didn't say anything, so he took that as a positive sign and offered his hand, which they immediately took, knowing what they needed to do from past experiences of apparating with their father.
Arya clutched to her father side while he tightened his hold of Theo, in one second the street was empty.
After a long walk along the harbour, Severus sat next to his son on a bench looking at the sea while his daughter was feeding the pigeons nearby, happy that her brother got bored quickly and so she had two bags of bird food now.
Severus was not a person that would usually start a conversation, but with Theo, it would mean that he would rarely hear his son's voice, if ever.
"I've always wanted to have my own boat someday," he said thoughtfully "The sea has many mysteries I would like to explore." As he said that he was reminded of Dumbledore, the old man surely had his effect on him.
"You said you'd buy me a boat on my sixteenth birthday," his son reminded him.
"I said I might buy us a boat if you'd excel in your OWL exams."
"Same thing."
Severus snorted and continued watching the sea while paying attention to Arya who took interest in a specific brown pigeon.
Theo turned his head and looked at his father.
"Would you still buy it though? now that... we are no longer a family."
Severus felt guilt wash over him but composed himself and turned to look at his son "Theo, we still are. Whatever happens between me and your mother has nothing to do with us being a family. She's still your mother, I'm still your father, and we both still love you and your sister more than anything else." He put his hand on his son's shoulder in order to reassure him.
"But you no longer love each other."
He said that as if to make sure his conclusions were correct. When his father didn't say anything, he turned his head looking at the sea and said "I know everything, you know? I know what made you take that decision."
Severus stiffened.
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