If Love Were All – Chapter 2
Hope everyone had a good Christmas as well as enjoying the Christmas Special.
Many thanks for the reviews of the previous chapter, here's another product of endless staring in front of the computer screen and brain crunching.
Disclaimer: The Downton Abbey characters belong to Julian Fellowes and ITV, apart from Kenny, Jessica Gough, Mrs Osborne and Miss Tomlinson. The first name of Jane's husband was never mentioned so David it is.
Jane waved Freddie and Kenny off as they set out with their bicycles in tow. She reminded Freddie to be back home by tea time and felt pleased when Kenny thanked her for the pancakes she had made which the boys had lapped up eagerly. With her mother at her fruit stall and Freddie now out playing, she was alone in the house now, what would she do? Take a walk in the park? Practise welcoming visitors to Harewood? Go to the library?
Tomorrow she was returning to Harewood which meant back to work and to the reality she knew. Her time off at Ripon had turned out to be quite eventful, a week ago; she would not have contemplated on Freddie and his bicycle would run over a man whom she had been trying to hard not to think about and to purge from her memory. She had literally and metaphorically blocked her ears whilst Jessica would constantly tease her about having a mystery man in her life.
"I always wondered what his name is," Jessica said one day while the servants were having tea.
"Who? What? Am I missing something?" Mrs Osborne asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Jane's mystery man, you know who," Jessica smirked while she nudged Jane on the elbow.
"Father Christmas or maybe The Abominable Snowman," Mrs Osborne retorted, "honestly, Jessica Gough, don't you have anything better to do?"
Once she recognised who Freddie had ran into did all the memories started to flood back. She wondered if God was playing a joke at her expense when she found herself face to face with Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham. Perhaps He was trying to show her that how hard she tried she tried to deny and forget, memories would always find a way to creep back into her consciousness. Jane thought that God was certainly right on that score particularly when Robert had kissed her. They had spent the rest of the afternoon making love and talking, she had forgotten how it felt being held by a man, being loved and loving him in return.
That was maybe the end of it, she thought as she cleared away the dishes and started to wash them. He had returned to Downton and his world while she was retuning to hers. It was all a dream, nothing more. All good things would have to come to an end.
"I'm coming," Jane yelled as the knock on the door became louder and more insistent. She threw the apron to one side and smoothed her hair as she made her way to the sitting room and the door. Who would be calling at this time, she thought. She had ignored the door initially as her mother had told her that it would most likely be sales men, Jehovah's Witness preachers or campaigners of any sort. However, she had a feeling that whoever was knocking on the door was neither a sales man nor a preacher.
"What can I -" she began and the words died on her lips as she recognised who was standing in front of her.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Robert smiled as he stepped closer towards her. "May I?"
"O-of course," Jane stammered as she led him in.
Robert took her in his arms and kissed her passionately "I was told you were returning to Harewood tomorrow," he said between kisses. "Must you?"
Jane looked down, trembling "Yes. It's back to reality for me...back to being a maid."
"My darling," Robert murmured against her hair. "My darling Jane, please don't say that." He pulled back to look at her sweet face now filled with sadness. This was one of the few moments when he wished he was not the Earl of Grantham. Struggling to not to let his courage desert him, he finally said:
"I love you with all my heart."
Jane did not reply as she clutched the lapels of his coat, trying to take in everything he was saying.
"With all my heart," Robert said with more conviction. "Not a day goes by when I think about you. By coincidence, I was thinking about you right at the moment when I had that collision with Freddie. When I saw you, I felt like my questions had been answered. But, must you really go?"
Jane sighed "I cannot let everyone at Harewood, Freddie, my mother, even you down. I won't allow you to get yourself into trouble. You must believe me when I say that I will gladly follow you to the ends of the earth but reality is a hard taskmaster. I love you and perhaps had circumstances been different-"
She never finished the sentence as Robert's lips silenced hers and in response Jane's arms went around his neck as she kissed him back. They found themselves on the sofa with Jane giving out a yelp as she felt his hands on her bottom, drawing her closer to him.
"Are you familiar with The Prisoner of Zenda?" Jane finally asked.
"The title does sound familiar, I remember Sybil mentioning it when she was young...she said it was sad that the hero and heroine couldn't be together."
"In one of the chapters, Princess Flavia asked Rudolf if love was the only thing," Jane said in a low, sweet voice. "Maybe we should ask ourselves the same question. Do you believe it to be true?"
Robert did not answer. He carried on holding her hands, trying to understand what he was hearing.
"Perhaps if love were indeed all..." Jane's voice broke as she tried hard to fight back the tears. "I'm not making any sense. I apologise."
Jane drew herself away from him and turned to face the wall. Why God in His infinite wisdom had allowed this to happen, there seemed to be no answer to that. If someone had told her that she would find love after David's death, she would have laughed at that person's face. Robert watched as she struggled with her emotions and instinctively he went over to take her in his arms.
"Please don't cry," he whispered in her ear. He understood what she was trying to say and both of them knew that they were trapped in a no win scenario and condemned forever to love each other in secret with clandestine letters passed between them by a hapless middleman and snatched meetings whenever she would be in Ripon.
A moan escaped Jane's lips as Robert's lips grazed the spot behind her right ear then travelled down to her neck. She turned to face him, trying to smile through her tears while her hands ruffled his hair.
"There," he mopped her tears with his handkerchief. His heart skipped a beat as her beautiful smile returned; an image he vowed that would be with him forever.
Their lips met again and without any warning, Robert swept Jane up in his arms and carried her over to the bedroom.
After they made love, Robert held Jane close as they savoured this moment together. Their eyes met as he took her hand and held it.
"It's nice to be here and not in a garbage scow," Robert chuckled as he idly played with Jane's hair.
"Garbage scow?" Jane frowned.
"That's what Miss Tomlinson calls her car," he smiled. "I decided to hitch a ride with her when she asked for my permission to run some errands for the house. The car made all these strange noises; would not look out of place in a scrapheap and gave me nausea on the way here. How she copes, I don't know."
Jane remembered Anna mentioning a Miss Tomlinson in her recent letters. "Oh my poor dear," she giggled as she kissed his forehead. "At least you're here in one piece."
Robert fell silent. His mind wandered to yesterday remembering that afternoon he spent making love to her, talking to her. One enduring memory he had was of Jane wearing his shirt – several sizes too big for her and the shirt tails ending on her thighs as she went to fetch the abandoned lunch. He never felt as content as when he held her in his arms, never felt happier when he was with her and he did not want to let her go.
But he knew that after this, they would have to part. He had also promised to provide for Freddie, insisting after he found out from Murray that Jane had initially refused the monthly stipend that was proposed. As a compromise, a trust fund was created for Freddie for his use when he turned eighteen. Robert wanted to do more for her and Freddie but realised that the trust fund would be a good start.
Wordlessly, Robert removed the ring from his finger and placed it on Jane's hand.
"I can't take this," she protested while eyeing the ring warily. It was a simple gold signet ring adorned with the Crawley coat of arms.
"I want you to," Robert kissed her. "Something to remember the time we spent together."
Jane smiled sadly as she pulled away from him to sit up on her side of the bed. From the side table, she picked up a pocket watch. "This belonged to my father," she said in a soft voice as she turned to face him and pressed the watch into his hands. "I want you to have this."
Robert looked down at the watch in his hand, silently praying for this day not to end. But as Jane said earlier about reality being a hard taskmaster, well, she was right. As his lips left a sensuous trail of kisses on her shoulders and down to her breasts, Robert pulled her closer to him. He was determined to spend what time there was left with her; the outside world could certainly wait.
Reviews are most welcome and epilogue coming soon.