Chapter Two – River's Match Part III
Jumping at the sound of the door to their shuttle slamming, Cameron turned to face her John.
"I hope you're happy," he snarled at her. It has been years since John had displayed anger of this nature, anger meant for Cameron.
"You don't understand," she replied in her monotone.
"You bet I don't. I come home and my living quarters are gone. No explanation." He paused, letting his words hit home. "Oh, and my wife is missing. MY WIFE IS MISSING!"
"John, let me explain," Cameron monotoned, desiring to reason with her husband.
"Was my wife kidnapped by the Alliance? Had Skynet found us? Bounty hunters? NO! She just up and left! No note! No explanation! Just up and gone! With our money no less!"
"It was necessary," Cameron replied softly.
"No, it wasn't." John snapped back curtly, breathing heavily from shouting.
"I want to explain. But not if I am going to be shouted at without being heard."
Cameron sat down on the chair by the vanity she'd made for herself. Irritating John with her perfect posture and outwardly calm exterior.
"How can you be so calm? How? Do you have any idea how much you scared everyone? Even River and Simon who were in on this, this stupid idea of yours were worried!"
"I calculated the emotional cost very carefully," Cameron replied. "I weighed it against the cost of what would happen if I did not go."
John paused. Cameron usually never resorted to tears. His wife had no qualms about manipulating him if Cameron believed the intended outcome was in her husband's best interests. Tears, on the rare occasions Cameron shed them, were real. Watching his wife fight back the tears pooling in her big brown eyes gave John pause.
"Just what do you mean by the cost if you did not go? Why didn't you just tell me?"
"You would have laughed, or even worse, forbidden me to go."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do. I know everything about you John. You seem to have forgotten that."
Giving up the emotional struggle, Cameron let the tears stream down her cheeks.
"I'm frightened John."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said in a measured tone, regretting the intensity with which he'd verbally attacked his wife.
"I might have."
Puzzled, John tilted his head in the same manner as his wife when confused.
"John, I would allow myself to be terminated without hesitation to protect you."
"I know, you've taken that risk too many times already," he said softly, taking a seat on their bed.
"I could have been terminated when the sniper shot me. If the depleted uranium round had hit my skull casing instead of my shoulder, my chip would have been destroyed."
John felt as if he'd been torn in two. Seconds earlier he'd been in a justifiable rage. Now he was terrified something was seriously wrong with Cameron.
"Explain for me," he said softly, patting the bed next to him.
Cameron stood up and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her husband. Without saying a word, Cameron removed her boots, socks, and then pants, carefully folding each and placing them where she could reach them if necessary. She lay down, resting her head on the pillows she used, leaving her feet on the floor.
John realized what his wife wanted and carefully removed his boots and socks while leaving on his trousers. He turned off the lights in the shuttle and climbed in on his side of their bed. John folded his arms behind his head and stared at the overhead above him. Cameron liked pillow talk and she'd speak when comfortable enough.
"I am mortal," Cameron said without warning.
"Of course you are," John replied, almost laughing. "You're power cell will run out eventually."
"No, John. You don't understand," Cameron said, tears running down her cheeks again. "As a human, you know you'll die. As a terminator, I could live countless lives by simply replacing my parts as they wear out."
"And you could die tomorrow defending me," John reminded his wife. "Or you might be defending River, anyone in the crew."
"That would be different," Cameron whispered.
"Why? I don't see how. My wife would be gone. I would be a widower."
"But I would have had purpose, meaning in my termination. My life for another, for the man I love, for a family member who has accepted me as a person. Even a crew member, because if the crew had not wanted us, had not embraced us, the Captain would never have taken us on as crew."
"Is that what you're afraid of? Dying?"
"Yes. Dying without meaning. Just a random, senseless death."
"Well, you're not alone," John answered gently, kissing his wife on her tear stained cheek.
"Have you ever felt this fear?"
"More times than you can imagine," he told his wife.
"I want a child."
John sat bolt upright in his bed. He felt his heart racing, ears pounding, and respiration rate accelerate.
"Where did that come from?"
"If I was a mother, I would have a legacy. My life would have meaning no matter how it came to an end."
"Did you leave to kidnap a baby?"
It was Cameron's turn to sit up. She glared at her husband, hints of red seeping through the brown of her eyes.
"How could you even think that?"
Deeply puzzled, lost even in the thoughts that suddenly left him vacantly staring at his wife, John found himself speechless.
"To kidnap a child would make another mother's life meaningless. I would not do that."
"Well, you just up and left! You come back and lay all this on me? What do you want me to think?"
Cameron pulled her top off. She reached behind her and turned on the reading lamp on her side of the bed. John noticed a red mid-line scar on her abdomen. Another scar running laterally just beneath her breastplate.
"What did you do to yourself," a horrified John cried.
"Installed the two devices I had to leave in order to obtain the materials and components for."
"Oh, and just like that, you can get pregnant?"
"No. Simon had to genetically engineer a uterus from the basal t-cells from my living tissue."
"He what?"
"Simon surgically implanted my uterus prior to my departure. It has healed nicely."
John stared at Cameron as a deep realization struck him.
"You've planned this for a long time."
"Before we jumped forward in time," Cameron informed him. "I had made all the theoretical discoveries necessary to plan how I could conceive and carry a child for you."
"And you never, not once, thought to mention this possibility to me?"
"Until I met Simon, it was only theory. Simon possessed both the knowledge and skills necessary to create my uterus, surgically implant it, and aid me in designing and obtaining the critical materials and components to create the other necessary modifications to my systems."
"So just like that, you have a female cycle now?"
"No. There is no way for me to grow or develop my own ovaries," Cameron answered wistfully. "That is where River comes in."
His head spinning from everything, John stood up. "I need to be alone. I have to think."
Cameron just nodded sadly, watching the man she loved so desperately leave their living quarters, their issues unresolved.