Chapter 2-The Special Today
Finally, there would be a king and queen for the Mushroom Kingdom. Everybody woke up to see Mario's surprise in the newspaper and remember the previous day.
Toad went to fetch the newspaper for Mario and saw an article that he just had to read. He wasn't a good reader so it took him awhile. An hour later he finally brought the paper to Mario, who was drinking coffee and eating a bagel.
Mario looked at Toad, who was grinning and holding the newspaper up for him. "What did you do, get lost?"
Toad looked nervous; he'd never talked to a king before. "Sorry King Mario, but I was just reading the front page about you and Peach and I can't read well."
"Don't worry. Anyway, you don't have to talk to me differently because I'm in the royal throne or whatever it is. Just call me Mario no matter what."
Peach looked over at Toad. "Same here."
Chef Torte came into the room with a big wedding cake. "I veard that vou ver getting varried so I vaked a vack ver vou."
Peach stared at him strangely. "Right... thanks."
"Ver welcome!" He then walked away, leaving the giant cake on the table.
Peach looked at it, then at Mario and Toad. "What did he say?"
Mario shook his head. "Don't ask me, I don't understand French chefs."
"Well, at least we have a cake. I hope it doesn't come to life. I'll cut a piece for every servant in the castle and if there's enough, for the village."
Toad climbed up on a chair. "That's nice of you." Peach just smiled and got the knife to cut the cake.
Mario stood up and pushed in his chair. "Time to get ready to go to Bowser's Keep."
Peach looked startled. "I forgot you were going there. But, do you really have to? We're getting married."
Mario went over to her and kissed her. "I'll be back, honey. I don't think Bowser is going to kill me. I just want to make sure that there's no threat to the kingdom."
"You're right, thanks Mario. But just..."
Toad butted in and said, "When are ya gonna cut the cake, woman?"
Peach just stared at him and said, "When I said you didn't have to talk to me like the way you talked to Mario when you came in, I meant you should talk to me the same way you had while I was a princess."
Toad blinked. "Sorry.. .you lost me there. You talk too fast."
Peach pointed at him. "No cake for you!"
Toad started to cry while Mario kissed Peach again and headed out to the forest to go to Bowser's Keep. Little did he know that Bowser wasn't there and was in trouble himself.
Bowser must have fallen asleep and woke up to find himself in a big pot with almost a thousand chains around him. He tried to move but got shocked. There was a guard chopping up carrots and chicken nearby but out of reach for a fire attack. The guard moved over to get some more chicken and said, "Master will be happy with chicken Bowser soup." He then laughed and got some cabbage from a shelf.
Bowser said, "Funny that this chain broke right here. Maybe I could get free now." Bowser started to move around even though he was still getting shocked. The pain hurt like mad but it was just a trap for the cook.
The guard ran over with his knife to see what was happening when Bowser used his fire breath to fry the cook. The cook threw the knife into the air and it broke one of Bowser's chains. Bowser was amazed at how strong the knife was but quickly grabbed it in his hand and started cutting the other chains with no problem. He then hopped out of the pot and ran out of the kitchen to find the dining room, where some guards and other troops were sitting waiting to eat him. Bowser then found shelves with big jars on then and started to throw them like crazy at the troops, shouting, "EAT THIS!!!"
After the dust and pieces of glass had cleared, nobody besides Bowser was standing up. All were on the ground with pieces of glass here and there, and one guard had no eyes. What a surprise that was. Bowser stomped on the ones that looked like they were still alive and then walked out of the room like nothing had happened and closed the door behind him. He walked around the many halls, finding himself in the same place over and over again. He tried every door but they were all empty. Eventually he found a door that he knew led to the room he'd been in last night. He opened the wide doors and stepped in to find the room, also empty. He then heard a shout for guards and a whole bunch of troops ran past the room he was in without even looking at him. Bowser knew that Iggy must've found the mess of his troops in the dining room.
Bowser stayed in the room and looked around. He then found a pink diary of Iggy's. Bowser never taught his kids to like the color pink. He shrugged and opened it anyway; there was no lock or anything on it. Bowser read:
July 18th, 1998
Dear Diary,
Today I have found my mother. I thought she was dead for good when my father said he'd killed her, but she really just dumped him. He probably wanted to look all tough and stuff. I didn't tell him because he might've thought I was a liar but then Morton found out my secret after I told Lemmy so he told Dad. We had a little talk and he grounded me for lying when I was really telling the truth. So that night, I ran away and here I am now, in a dark cave in the middle of Dark Land. I can't see Bowser's Keep from here but I know I'm probably only a mile or two away so I have to get up pretty early and start running. He'll have his troops after me in no time at all.
Very tired,
Iggy Koopa
Bowser read it all over again and started to cry. Why had he done this? He remembered he'd told his other kids that one of his guards killed Iggy, then he'd killed a guard at random as a supposed punishment. It was then that the Koopa Clan broke up and why Bowser was now alone. He should have let them cook him, he would have been better off.
"Hey Dad, looking at my stuff?" Bowser closed the book, put it away, and turned around to see his son Iggy and his guards standing there with their spears ready. "Thanks a lot for getting rid of my troops and best cook. Maybe we'll try again tomorrow and have a feast, after what you did. I didn't want this to happen, Dad, but know it will." He looked at the guards behind him, then pointed at Bowser. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!"
The guards ran at Bowser with their spears pointed at his chest, but he wouldn't go anywhere without a good old-fashioned fight.
Mario looked at the new stone bridge that lead to Bowser's Keep. He'd thought that Bowser wouldn't want a crummy, wooden bridge that could brake easily. Mario started to walk across it when a Fire Cheep Cheep jumped across the bridge, then a second one landed on it and started to spray red goo out of its mouth. Mario just kept on walking, avoiding some more Cheeps that flew right at him. Cheep Cheeps are the most annoying thing ever created since Morton. Mario walked up to the big wooden doors and pushed them open to find himself in a room full of statues of Bowser himself. Mario knew these statues fired lasers and could be trouble if he didn't run fast enough. Mario got ready and GO... he ran all the way to the other side of the hall while lasers shot at him from everywhere possible. He pushed open the door at the end and missed a laser that went through it by an inch.
"How does Bowser ever get through there? I can run way faster than him," Mario said while trying to catch his breath.
He then looked around the next room, which was filled with ice. What a nice place for Bowser. He'd probably get a piece of ice when he was mad and melt it. Nah, he'd probably bite the head off one of his troops instead. Mario skied all the way to the other side without difficutly because there were no troops in the way. He went into the next room, where there was nothing. It was just a normal, large square room where there was a locked door on one side and an opened door on the other. The locked door was the entrance to Bowser's real castle, containing the living quarters and many maze-like halls. The opened door led to more challenges that he would have to face, but they probably wouldn't be too hard without Bowser's troops around. The problem was that Mario had to enter the door leading to where Bowser lived, and he didn't have the key. He decided that he would go to the other rooms and look for something he could use to break the door down. Thus resolved, he moved on.
The next room wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought. The moving and disappearing platforms in this room were all over the place and three stories high from the bottom, which was a long way down; Mario could just make out the top of the spikes that stuck out of the floor below. One ewrong move and Mario would plummet to his death. Mario yawned. This was old stuff. If Bowser's troops were here, he'd worry. But now, no problem.
He jumped onto the first platform and it moved up to a batch of vanishing ones. He jumped on one but it quickly disappeared and he fell and grabbed the platform that he'd been on a second before. The platform moved back up to where Mario started.
About 25 minutes later, he grabbed the ledge of the opening at the end of the room and entered a large hall that led to the next room. "Nothing here to help me," Mario said, observing the room before turning back around and walking further down the long hall.
Mario opened the big, wide, oak doors that led to the next room to find... a giant lava pit with a wooden bridge in the middle and an ax on the other side. "What a classic place," Mario said smiling. "I remember the time I first freed Peach from this room. Bowser didn't have any hair and he had buck teeth. What an ugly thing he was." Mario easily walked past the bridge and picked up the ax. "Maybe I can use this."
Bowser groaned while he was forced to eat stuffing. The troops and guards wanted to make Bowser fatter (if that was possible) before they cooked him the next day. The guards were also running around the castle looking for a new cook. Bowser heard Iggy talking to his so-called "Top Officer" about the happenings.
"King Bowser is falling into our trap," Iggy said with an evil grin on his face just like Bowser once had. "We will burn the flesh off his skin and then feed his meat to the troops. Our troops will never go hungry again."
"Yes, Master," said the guard. "You will then be king."
"Just maybe. What about my brothers? They may overrule my power when they hear I'm king. Or maybe they'll be angry at me for killing our father. But I must proceed with the plan."
"Yes, but why did you save him from the blast earlier?"
"That was a plan I made. I didn't want to tell this to anybody in case it slipped out. First, I made a house and yard that would suit Mushroom people. Then, I made a robot family and gave them the brains of prisoners of war that I had captured long ago when my troops invited Rose Town. After hearing my spy troops saying that Bowser was heading towards the village, I used my pet bunny to lead him off the path to one that our men made. When my troops said that Bowser ate my pet, I used the shock pad on it to make him jump high out of Bowser and away back here."
"What was that for?"
"Hey, I love my bunny, Buster."
Bowser laid back in his cell, eating some more stuffing and listening to his son's tale. So he'd almost ate the rabbit that he'd bought for Iggy after he had almost killed Luigi. Even if that was just five years ago, Bowser was surprised that the bunny was still so active. Well, Iggy did take perfect care of him. Bowser shook his head. Forget about the rabbit, his son set him up in a trap to kill him and become king. Bowser was strapped in energy chains that drained his energy. If these weren't on him, he'd kill every single one of them right where they stood.
There was a window behind where Iggy and his top guard was standing, talking some more about Iggy's evil plan and about their future. Bowser looked at them and then at the window, where he saw a familiar face. He would have been happy to see him, but his talking would give him a headache. Yes, Morton Koopa was looking through the window at them. He was now a lot bigger than Iggy or Bowser (it is possible) and very ugly too. He smashed through the window and landed on a guard who was just starting to talk about the supply of cheese in the supply room. Morton quickly jumped and the guard got up and ran away, crying in pain.
"Oy, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to listen to mumbo-jumbo," Iggy said with his evil grin still spread across his face.
"Wass up brother, thought I would drop in. Well, I did drop in because I went through the window on your guard. So I came from up there from down here. Maybe just about a couple feet. Or is it a yard? Well, 36 feet is a yard. Or is it 32? What about inches, I forgot to talk about that? Maybe I should measure how many inches it takes to go from the floor to the window. Then, I can turn it into feet and yards. Wait, what about meters?"
Iggy's grin turned into a frown and his face turned bright red. "Please don't start. Anyway, I'm in the middle of something about Da... I mean the new cook because Da... I mean one of my troops killed him because he thought it was D... I mean a Shy Guy. My troops don't like them." He smiled while trying to think of other excuses.
Morton looked confused, "Yeah, okay. But why do you keep on saying Da? Don't tell me, you're starting to speak weird. I was in that stage once. But that was when I was young. Which I no longer am. Or am I? Let me think. I'm 34 years old which makes Dad 51. Did you know that?"
"No, now shut up."
Bowser couldn't keep his mouth shut. "No Morton, I'm really 46."
Morton turned to face the wide open door of the special cell, where he saw his father with a mouth full of stuffing. "Hey Dad," Morton said without knowing the dangers his father was in, "I guess you're also visiting Iggy. And you're staying for supper too. Wow. Iggy sure got nicer since the last time I saw him. He's feeding somebody besides himself for once. Wait, he has to feed his troops too or they might die. Wait, I'll ask one." He pointed to a guard walking down the hall. "Does Iggy feed you? Because he should or you might starve. I think you might. Or maybe you hunt your own food. Like my cat..."
The guard just stared at him and nodded his head. He then ran back down the hall.
"What a funny guy. Are all your troops like that? Because if they are, they're weird. No, I meant funny."
Iggy just looked at him in a disgusted way and shouted, "GUARDS!!!"
Mario was back in the big square room where the door that lead to Bowser was. He picked the ax up in his hands and swung as hard as he could, but the ax just swung back at Mario and he dodged it by a hair. The ax then hit the ground and smashed into tiny pieces, leaving only one sharp piece left.
"Bowser has the weirdest doors," Mario said, going over and picking up the sharp piece, "but this isn't going to help me at all." He then went back into the ice room and slid around the floor on his bottom, trying to think of a plan. "Maybe I can cut a piece of the ice here and use it.... but it might melt too quickly in my hands because I'm warm blooded..." Mario stood up and almost fell over. "But my butt is c..c..cold."
Mario went onto a snow bank where he wouldn't slide around and cut a piece of an icicle hanging from the low roof on the side of the room. It was about five feet long and extremely heavy. He then held it and thought some more. "Maybe the Bowser statues can help me," Mario said, opening the door that lead back to them.
Inside the room were the many Bowser statues that shot lasers. Mario quickly froze and looked around. Then he spotted a golden Bowser statue. He knew they wouldn't move unless something passed in front of it or hit it. Taking careful aim, Mario through his icicle at the statue. The icicle hit the statue on the horn and snapped in half. The statue's eyes turned red and turned to face Mario, who was now running as fast as he could. The statue quickly followed and shot lasers at Mario. One laser hit Mario's shoe and burnt his foot so bad that he couldn't walk on it. Once he opened the door leading to the normal room, he crawled over to the oak door. The statue quickly followed and shot a laser at him. Luckily it missed him and hit the locked door, burning right through. The statue was about to make his next attack when the laser that it'd fired came right back at him and burnt a hole through his chest. The statue then let out a groan and split into little pieces just like the ax had.
Mario looked on the floor where he saw the pieces of the ax and the statue and turned to look towards the door, which was now on fire. Mario then picked up a cup-like piece of the Bowser statue as well as another sharp piece and headed over to the ice. He used the sharp piece to slash through the ice, filled the cup with cold water, and threw the water at the fire. Some flames were extinguished but quickly came back. Mario then filled the cup up with water and kept on throwing it at the fire as fast as he could. Finally he cooled down the last little flame and walked through the opening which once housed a door.
Once he got to the other side, he looked around down the halls and sat on the floor to take off his shoes and socks so he could rub his sore feet. He looked at his right foot and found there was a hole in it. It was bleeding bad so Mario used his sock to wrap it around the hole, which stopped the bleeding. He then placed his shoes back on and tried to get up, but he whopped around a little bit. After about four minutes he finally got back up, straight as can be. He then continued to walk down a hall towards Bowser's throne room.
Toad 1: Will Mario find his way to Bowser's throne room, where Bowser won't be? And will Morton and Bowser be chicken soup? Wait for the next episode of Bowser's New Life.
Toad 2: Wait, wait, wait. First, it's only a chapter of a story, not a show. Plus, it's called The New Life of Bowser, not Bowser's New Life.
Toad 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Toad 2: Anyway, Bowser and Morton are soooooo dead because Iggy has more power than any of them.
Toad 1: Iggy is Bowser's son, so he can't be as powerful because he younger.
Toad 2: That's the thing, he's younger so he'll be more of a challenge, because he doesn't have all the stuffing knocked out of him like Bowser does.
Toad 1: Well, he's getting stuffing put back into him.
Toad 2: Yeah, that's right... but Mario is going to make it to the throne room because there's no troops left.
Toad 1: Shut up already, if we talk too much the humans won't want to read this story.
Toad 2: But this story stinks the way it is.
Toad 1: Grr...
Finally, there would be a king and queen for the Mushroom Kingdom. Everybody woke up to see Mario's surprise in the newspaper and remember the previous day.
Toad went to fetch the newspaper for Mario and saw an article that he just had to read. He wasn't a good reader so it took him awhile. An hour later he finally brought the paper to Mario, who was drinking coffee and eating a bagel.
Mario looked at Toad, who was grinning and holding the newspaper up for him. "What did you do, get lost?"
Toad looked nervous; he'd never talked to a king before. "Sorry King Mario, but I was just reading the front page about you and Peach and I can't read well."
"Don't worry. Anyway, you don't have to talk to me differently because I'm in the royal throne or whatever it is. Just call me Mario no matter what."
Peach looked over at Toad. "Same here."
Chef Torte came into the room with a big wedding cake. "I veard that vou ver getting varried so I vaked a vack ver vou."
Peach stared at him strangely. "Right... thanks."
"Ver welcome!" He then walked away, leaving the giant cake on the table.
Peach looked at it, then at Mario and Toad. "What did he say?"
Mario shook his head. "Don't ask me, I don't understand French chefs."
"Well, at least we have a cake. I hope it doesn't come to life. I'll cut a piece for every servant in the castle and if there's enough, for the village."
Toad climbed up on a chair. "That's nice of you." Peach just smiled and got the knife to cut the cake.
Mario stood up and pushed in his chair. "Time to get ready to go to Bowser's Keep."
Peach looked startled. "I forgot you were going there. But, do you really have to? We're getting married."
Mario went over to her and kissed her. "I'll be back, honey. I don't think Bowser is going to kill me. I just want to make sure that there's no threat to the kingdom."
"You're right, thanks Mario. But just..."
Toad butted in and said, "When are ya gonna cut the cake, woman?"
Peach just stared at him and said, "When I said you didn't have to talk to me like the way you talked to Mario when you came in, I meant you should talk to me the same way you had while I was a princess."
Toad blinked. "Sorry.. .you lost me there. You talk too fast."
Peach pointed at him. "No cake for you!"
Toad started to cry while Mario kissed Peach again and headed out to the forest to go to Bowser's Keep. Little did he know that Bowser wasn't there and was in trouble himself.
Bowser must have fallen asleep and woke up to find himself in a big pot with almost a thousand chains around him. He tried to move but got shocked. There was a guard chopping up carrots and chicken nearby but out of reach for a fire attack. The guard moved over to get some more chicken and said, "Master will be happy with chicken Bowser soup." He then laughed and got some cabbage from a shelf.
Bowser said, "Funny that this chain broke right here. Maybe I could get free now." Bowser started to move around even though he was still getting shocked. The pain hurt like mad but it was just a trap for the cook.
The guard ran over with his knife to see what was happening when Bowser used his fire breath to fry the cook. The cook threw the knife into the air and it broke one of Bowser's chains. Bowser was amazed at how strong the knife was but quickly grabbed it in his hand and started cutting the other chains with no problem. He then hopped out of the pot and ran out of the kitchen to find the dining room, where some guards and other troops were sitting waiting to eat him. Bowser then found shelves with big jars on then and started to throw them like crazy at the troops, shouting, "EAT THIS!!!"
After the dust and pieces of glass had cleared, nobody besides Bowser was standing up. All were on the ground with pieces of glass here and there, and one guard had no eyes. What a surprise that was. Bowser stomped on the ones that looked like they were still alive and then walked out of the room like nothing had happened and closed the door behind him. He walked around the many halls, finding himself in the same place over and over again. He tried every door but they were all empty. Eventually he found a door that he knew led to the room he'd been in last night. He opened the wide doors and stepped in to find the room, also empty. He then heard a shout for guards and a whole bunch of troops ran past the room he was in without even looking at him. Bowser knew that Iggy must've found the mess of his troops in the dining room.
Bowser stayed in the room and looked around. He then found a pink diary of Iggy's. Bowser never taught his kids to like the color pink. He shrugged and opened it anyway; there was no lock or anything on it. Bowser read:
July 18th, 1998
Dear Diary,
Today I have found my mother. I thought she was dead for good when my father said he'd killed her, but she really just dumped him. He probably wanted to look all tough and stuff. I didn't tell him because he might've thought I was a liar but then Morton found out my secret after I told Lemmy so he told Dad. We had a little talk and he grounded me for lying when I was really telling the truth. So that night, I ran away and here I am now, in a dark cave in the middle of Dark Land. I can't see Bowser's Keep from here but I know I'm probably only a mile or two away so I have to get up pretty early and start running. He'll have his troops after me in no time at all.
Very tired,
Iggy Koopa
Bowser read it all over again and started to cry. Why had he done this? He remembered he'd told his other kids that one of his guards killed Iggy, then he'd killed a guard at random as a supposed punishment. It was then that the Koopa Clan broke up and why Bowser was now alone. He should have let them cook him, he would have been better off.
"Hey Dad, looking at my stuff?" Bowser closed the book, put it away, and turned around to see his son Iggy and his guards standing there with their spears ready. "Thanks a lot for getting rid of my troops and best cook. Maybe we'll try again tomorrow and have a feast, after what you did. I didn't want this to happen, Dad, but know it will." He looked at the guards behind him, then pointed at Bowser. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!"
The guards ran at Bowser with their spears pointed at his chest, but he wouldn't go anywhere without a good old-fashioned fight.
Mario looked at the new stone bridge that lead to Bowser's Keep. He'd thought that Bowser wouldn't want a crummy, wooden bridge that could brake easily. Mario started to walk across it when a Fire Cheep Cheep jumped across the bridge, then a second one landed on it and started to spray red goo out of its mouth. Mario just kept on walking, avoiding some more Cheeps that flew right at him. Cheep Cheeps are the most annoying thing ever created since Morton. Mario walked up to the big wooden doors and pushed them open to find himself in a room full of statues of Bowser himself. Mario knew these statues fired lasers and could be trouble if he didn't run fast enough. Mario got ready and GO... he ran all the way to the other side of the hall while lasers shot at him from everywhere possible. He pushed open the door at the end and missed a laser that went through it by an inch.
"How does Bowser ever get through there? I can run way faster than him," Mario said while trying to catch his breath.
He then looked around the next room, which was filled with ice. What a nice place for Bowser. He'd probably get a piece of ice when he was mad and melt it. Nah, he'd probably bite the head off one of his troops instead. Mario skied all the way to the other side without difficutly because there were no troops in the way. He went into the next room, where there was nothing. It was just a normal, large square room where there was a locked door on one side and an opened door on the other. The locked door was the entrance to Bowser's real castle, containing the living quarters and many maze-like halls. The opened door led to more challenges that he would have to face, but they probably wouldn't be too hard without Bowser's troops around. The problem was that Mario had to enter the door leading to where Bowser lived, and he didn't have the key. He decided that he would go to the other rooms and look for something he could use to break the door down. Thus resolved, he moved on.
The next room wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought. The moving and disappearing platforms in this room were all over the place and three stories high from the bottom, which was a long way down; Mario could just make out the top of the spikes that stuck out of the floor below. One ewrong move and Mario would plummet to his death. Mario yawned. This was old stuff. If Bowser's troops were here, he'd worry. But now, no problem.
He jumped onto the first platform and it moved up to a batch of vanishing ones. He jumped on one but it quickly disappeared and he fell and grabbed the platform that he'd been on a second before. The platform moved back up to where Mario started.
About 25 minutes later, he grabbed the ledge of the opening at the end of the room and entered a large hall that led to the next room. "Nothing here to help me," Mario said, observing the room before turning back around and walking further down the long hall.
Mario opened the big, wide, oak doors that led to the next room to find... a giant lava pit with a wooden bridge in the middle and an ax on the other side. "What a classic place," Mario said smiling. "I remember the time I first freed Peach from this room. Bowser didn't have any hair and he had buck teeth. What an ugly thing he was." Mario easily walked past the bridge and picked up the ax. "Maybe I can use this."
Bowser groaned while he was forced to eat stuffing. The troops and guards wanted to make Bowser fatter (if that was possible) before they cooked him the next day. The guards were also running around the castle looking for a new cook. Bowser heard Iggy talking to his so-called "Top Officer" about the happenings.
"King Bowser is falling into our trap," Iggy said with an evil grin on his face just like Bowser once had. "We will burn the flesh off his skin and then feed his meat to the troops. Our troops will never go hungry again."
"Yes, Master," said the guard. "You will then be king."
"Just maybe. What about my brothers? They may overrule my power when they hear I'm king. Or maybe they'll be angry at me for killing our father. But I must proceed with the plan."
"Yes, but why did you save him from the blast earlier?"
"That was a plan I made. I didn't want to tell this to anybody in case it slipped out. First, I made a house and yard that would suit Mushroom people. Then, I made a robot family and gave them the brains of prisoners of war that I had captured long ago when my troops invited Rose Town. After hearing my spy troops saying that Bowser was heading towards the village, I used my pet bunny to lead him off the path to one that our men made. When my troops said that Bowser ate my pet, I used the shock pad on it to make him jump high out of Bowser and away back here."
"What was that for?"
"Hey, I love my bunny, Buster."
Bowser laid back in his cell, eating some more stuffing and listening to his son's tale. So he'd almost ate the rabbit that he'd bought for Iggy after he had almost killed Luigi. Even if that was just five years ago, Bowser was surprised that the bunny was still so active. Well, Iggy did take perfect care of him. Bowser shook his head. Forget about the rabbit, his son set him up in a trap to kill him and become king. Bowser was strapped in energy chains that drained his energy. If these weren't on him, he'd kill every single one of them right where they stood.
There was a window behind where Iggy and his top guard was standing, talking some more about Iggy's evil plan and about their future. Bowser looked at them and then at the window, where he saw a familiar face. He would have been happy to see him, but his talking would give him a headache. Yes, Morton Koopa was looking through the window at them. He was now a lot bigger than Iggy or Bowser (it is possible) and very ugly too. He smashed through the window and landed on a guard who was just starting to talk about the supply of cheese in the supply room. Morton quickly jumped and the guard got up and ran away, crying in pain.
"Oy, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to listen to mumbo-jumbo," Iggy said with his evil grin still spread across his face.
"Wass up brother, thought I would drop in. Well, I did drop in because I went through the window on your guard. So I came from up there from down here. Maybe just about a couple feet. Or is it a yard? Well, 36 feet is a yard. Or is it 32? What about inches, I forgot to talk about that? Maybe I should measure how many inches it takes to go from the floor to the window. Then, I can turn it into feet and yards. Wait, what about meters?"
Iggy's grin turned into a frown and his face turned bright red. "Please don't start. Anyway, I'm in the middle of something about Da... I mean the new cook because Da... I mean one of my troops killed him because he thought it was D... I mean a Shy Guy. My troops don't like them." He smiled while trying to think of other excuses.
Morton looked confused, "Yeah, okay. But why do you keep on saying Da? Don't tell me, you're starting to speak weird. I was in that stage once. But that was when I was young. Which I no longer am. Or am I? Let me think. I'm 34 years old which makes Dad 51. Did you know that?"
"No, now shut up."
Bowser couldn't keep his mouth shut. "No Morton, I'm really 46."
Morton turned to face the wide open door of the special cell, where he saw his father with a mouth full of stuffing. "Hey Dad," Morton said without knowing the dangers his father was in, "I guess you're also visiting Iggy. And you're staying for supper too. Wow. Iggy sure got nicer since the last time I saw him. He's feeding somebody besides himself for once. Wait, he has to feed his troops too or they might die. Wait, I'll ask one." He pointed to a guard walking down the hall. "Does Iggy feed you? Because he should or you might starve. I think you might. Or maybe you hunt your own food. Like my cat..."
The guard just stared at him and nodded his head. He then ran back down the hall.
"What a funny guy. Are all your troops like that? Because if they are, they're weird. No, I meant funny."
Iggy just looked at him in a disgusted way and shouted, "GUARDS!!!"
Mario was back in the big square room where the door that lead to Bowser was. He picked the ax up in his hands and swung as hard as he could, but the ax just swung back at Mario and he dodged it by a hair. The ax then hit the ground and smashed into tiny pieces, leaving only one sharp piece left.
"Bowser has the weirdest doors," Mario said, going over and picking up the sharp piece, "but this isn't going to help me at all." He then went back into the ice room and slid around the floor on his bottom, trying to think of a plan. "Maybe I can cut a piece of the ice here and use it.... but it might melt too quickly in my hands because I'm warm blooded..." Mario stood up and almost fell over. "But my butt is c..c..cold."
Mario went onto a snow bank where he wouldn't slide around and cut a piece of an icicle hanging from the low roof on the side of the room. It was about five feet long and extremely heavy. He then held it and thought some more. "Maybe the Bowser statues can help me," Mario said, opening the door that lead back to them.
Inside the room were the many Bowser statues that shot lasers. Mario quickly froze and looked around. Then he spotted a golden Bowser statue. He knew they wouldn't move unless something passed in front of it or hit it. Taking careful aim, Mario through his icicle at the statue. The icicle hit the statue on the horn and snapped in half. The statue's eyes turned red and turned to face Mario, who was now running as fast as he could. The statue quickly followed and shot lasers at Mario. One laser hit Mario's shoe and burnt his foot so bad that he couldn't walk on it. Once he opened the door leading to the normal room, he crawled over to the oak door. The statue quickly followed and shot a laser at him. Luckily it missed him and hit the locked door, burning right through. The statue was about to make his next attack when the laser that it'd fired came right back at him and burnt a hole through his chest. The statue then let out a groan and split into little pieces just like the ax had.
Mario looked on the floor where he saw the pieces of the ax and the statue and turned to look towards the door, which was now on fire. Mario then picked up a cup-like piece of the Bowser statue as well as another sharp piece and headed over to the ice. He used the sharp piece to slash through the ice, filled the cup with cold water, and threw the water at the fire. Some flames were extinguished but quickly came back. Mario then filled the cup up with water and kept on throwing it at the fire as fast as he could. Finally he cooled down the last little flame and walked through the opening which once housed a door.
Once he got to the other side, he looked around down the halls and sat on the floor to take off his shoes and socks so he could rub his sore feet. He looked at his right foot and found there was a hole in it. It was bleeding bad so Mario used his sock to wrap it around the hole, which stopped the bleeding. He then placed his shoes back on and tried to get up, but he whopped around a little bit. After about four minutes he finally got back up, straight as can be. He then continued to walk down a hall towards Bowser's throne room.
Toad 1: Will Mario find his way to Bowser's throne room, where Bowser won't be? And will Morton and Bowser be chicken soup? Wait for the next episode of Bowser's New Life.
Toad 2: Wait, wait, wait. First, it's only a chapter of a story, not a show. Plus, it's called The New Life of Bowser, not Bowser's New Life.
Toad 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Toad 2: Anyway, Bowser and Morton are soooooo dead because Iggy has more power than any of them.
Toad 1: Iggy is Bowser's son, so he can't be as powerful because he younger.
Toad 2: That's the thing, he's younger so he'll be more of a challenge, because he doesn't have all the stuffing knocked out of him like Bowser does.
Toad 1: Well, he's getting stuffing put back into him.
Toad 2: Yeah, that's right... but Mario is going to make it to the throne room because there's no troops left.
Toad 1: Shut up already, if we talk too much the humans won't want to read this story.
Toad 2: But this story stinks the way it is.
Toad 1: Grr...