I Am Legend

I knew early on not to tell people I was Hollyleaf. I knew that would ruin everything. I did not want to start my new life tainted by other's memories and opinions of me. So I just pretended I was Dovekit, a soul new and fresh to the world.

Whitewing was my mother. It felt strange having somebody I had known during my past life as my mother, having her nurse me and lick me like I was a kit. Which I was, actually.

I had a sister. Her name was Ivykit. She was little and innocent, mostly just wanting to sleep and eat. I let her do so. However, I decided to be much the curious kit and ventured out into the camp at three moons of age.

It was just like I knew it. Just like I'd left it when I died yesterday. Only...hmm. As I looked around, taking in the moss on the highledge, the swaying of the trees surrounding the camp, and feel of the wind in my white fur, I noticed that everything seemed older. And now that I thought about it, Ivykit and myself hadn't even been born when I met my fate in the tunnels. So, that meant I had been hanging in bleak abyss for at least three moons before I came back as Dovekit.

Which meant I had some stuff to catch up on. I stood up, trotting across the camp eagerly. First place: Jayfeather's den.

I skipped into the cool gloom of the medicine cat's hollow. I could smell herbs, and beneath that, the stale reek of sickness.

"Hello?" I called, shocked at first when my voice sounded so high and little.

The ferns rustled and Jayfeather turned around. When he saw me, he smiled.

"Dovekit? You're Whitewing's kit, aren't you? You're a little young to be out and about yet."

I stared up at him, unable to respond. My brother. Jayfeather. Thick, dark gray fur. Round, blind blue eyes. I felt my eyes fog up.

"Dovekit?" He peered closer at me. I blinked from my dreary trance.

"Sorry," I squeaked, "I just wanted to come explore."

"Feel free," he said, but then added with a snap, "But don't mess anything up. It can be a real nuisance having kits in the den with me, so I don't allow it often. Don't ruin the privelege."

"Sure, Jayfeather," I meowed and padded deeper into the den. "Where's Lionblaze?" I asked while sniffing a pile of herbs. I really was only in here to speak to my 'brother'.

"My brother?" Jayfeather asked, "Why do you ask?"
"Curious," I mewed, touching some cobwebs, but pulling my paw back before they stuck to me.

"Well..." Jayfeather sighed, and then came to stand beside me. "He's having a hard time."

"Why?" I asked.

"Our sister, Hollyleaf. She died four moons ago. In...in a rockfall. Lionblaze is...suffering."

I said nothing. I padded foreward and peered into a small pool of water gathered on the rough stone floor of the den. I saw a young, innocent kit staring back at me: giant blue eyes and silky white fur.

What have I become? I thought, my heart breaking. Why had I run into those tunnels? As Hollyleaf I had everything; a name, a place. I was known.

Now I was starting over, on a clean slate.

Maybe it was good thing.

I turned around, ready to leave. "I think I should go back to my mother now," I said, "I hope I become an apprentice soon."

"You're mighty mature for a kit," Jayfeather meowed.

"I know," I said.

"Come back any time," Jayfeather said, not the snappy brother I remembered. I wondered how he was coping with my death. I knew that he was the type to box up his emotions, to hide behind a wall of impassive, stoic-ness. I rarely saw him smile, mostly it was just a straight face, alone in its own little corner of the universe.

I went back to Whitewing and Ivykit, who was awake and yawning, blinking like she didn't know what was going on. Probably didn't.

"There you are!" Whitewing scolded me, "You're too young to be wandering off."

"I don't feel to young," I protested, "I'm ready to be an apprentice all ready."

"You're just a little thing," Whitewing said fondly, picking me up and putting me in the crook of her belly.

"Three more moons," I said, "The warrior code says kits always become apprentices at six moons of age."

"What do you know about the warrior code?" Whitewing asked sharply, jerking her head up to look at me.

I paused. I knew that a kit as young as me should no nothing about the warrior code.

"Dovekit?" she persisted.

"I just assumed that it was part of the warrior code," I said jerkily, struggling to cover my bluff, "Even the youngest kit knows that kits become apprentices at six moons."

Whitewing relaxed. "Why don't you go to the elders for a story?"

"Okay," I said, standing up. I was tired, and resting with the elders for a calm story sounded great. I walked out of the nursery and into the elder's den. The tall grasses brushed aside as I entered.

"Hi," I said.

"Hello there, young one," Mousefur said, looking up at me. There were four elders- Mousefur, Sandstorm*, Graystripe and Longtail. Greystripe and Sandstorm were younger, probably able to serve a few more years, but their bodies were stiffening, growing older. Mousefur and Longtail seemed ancient.

"Dovekit, is it?" Sandstorm asked.

I nodded.

"Well, aren't you a pretty thing!" Longtail laughed. He turned his blind head toward me and blinked without really seeing me.

"Can I have a story?" I asked.

"Sure!" Sandstorm meowed.

"Absolutely!" Graystripe said enthusiastically.

"Definitely," Mousefur agreed in a croak, "We haven't had kits in here for moons. And I got a good one to tell you."

I giggled like a kit and sat down next to her.

"Well, snuggle in close," she said, kneading the ground with her forepaws. "This one is one of the oldest tales."

I lay against her, resting against her old gray flank. She looked off, absently staring at a point of the elder's den.

"A long, long time ago," Mousefur whispered, "There was a cat named Sparkfur. He was named so because his fur was alive with sparks. Everywhere he went, he set little fires behind him.

"Many cats enveyed him for his coat. He tried to explain to them that it was not a benefit, that he struggled from it. It was hard, Sparkfur explained, to walk everywhere trailing sparks and fire wherever you went. In fact, it was so terribly difficult to live with that he would give his life away to be like most normal cats.

"They were shocked to hear this and thought instantly that he was a greedy sloth. Therefore they shunned him, never to speak to him again, ignoring him, kicking him from their group.

"Lost and horrified, Sparkfur went to the Wishing Pool. The Wishing Pool was a magical pool filled with stars, and it was rumored that if you cast yourself into its waters, thinking a single wish in your head, it would be granted to you. After many days and nights of searching, Sparkfur found the Wishing Pool. He stepped up to it and thought in his mind, "I wish I was like a normal cat." Then he leaped into the water.

"Inside was a beautiful she-cat who spoke to him.

"'I see you would like to get rid of your sparking fur,'" she told him.

"'Yes,'" he said carefully, for he thought she was beautiful.

"'Then you must give us a sacrifice,'" she said, "'If you do so, we will grant you what you want, and more.'"

"'What else more?'"

"'We will grant all cats in the forest unending wealth, peace and all of them will be given a special ability that will enable them to be the most amazing in history."

"'What is that sacrifice, then?'" he asked.

"'Your life, willingly,'" she told him.

"Sparkfur did not hesitate. She had told him to exit the pool, and on the next full moon, drown himself in the lake. He did so when the moon was ripe and full. But as he faced the lake, shimmering coldly with stars, he grew dreadfully afraid. He was scared to die in the lake.

"'No!" he called desperately, unable to do it. He thought of the wealth promised too the cats of the forest. He thought of having normal fur. Yet he was still unable to jump into the lake.

"He could not do it. Ashamed, he padded away, only to realize he was blocked by his own fires. Screaming, he was quickly burned alive. As he lay dying, the same she-cat from the pool came to him.

"'You have failed," she said, "You could not sacrifice yourself for your Clan. They will not get unending wealth and incredibly abilities. And you will not get normal fur. You will live lost in the darkness, and when your soul finally departs, you will be alone in darkness.

"Henceforth he was banished to the darkness, where he wandered forever, his sparks giving him no light. And finally, lost in the darkness, he died alone.

"But it is said that, although he did not do what he promised, StarClan gave pity on him and decided, one day, that millions of moons after he was gone, they would grant three special cats amazing abilities." Mousefur straightened up. "But there is no evidence of such cats." She sighed and looked down at me, snuggled against her. "Perhaps StarClan forgot. Perhaps they thought the Clans not good enough. But it is just a tale. Pretend, just like LionClan and TigerClan." She gave me a little lick on the forehead and then lifted her head back. "Did I scare you, little one? It is a terribly sad story after all."

"No," I said honestly, "But it is a sad story. Thanks for telling it to me. I'm going to go now."

I stood and left. I was thinking. I felt bruised by the story, almost. How Sparkfur hadn't been able to die for his Clan.

How many other warriors were like that? Unable to die for their Clan?

I had wanted to die for my Clan. It had been all I wanted. I wanted to follow the warrior code, I wanted to be seen for my loyalty and devotion, and I had wanted others to respect me.

How had I failed? Where had I gone wrong? Somehow, I couldn't see it.

When had I done anything wrong?

Would I have really been able to die for my Clan?

Then something hit me with full power. The three. Mousefur had said StarClan said they would grant some three cats amazing power.

What if those cats had already come? What if they were here, right now, alive and breathing? What if they had come in response to a prophecy?

I whispered the words. "There will be three, kin of your kin, and they will hold the power of the stars in their paws."

I shivered. The tale hadn't been pretend! It was real and it was Jayfeather, Lionheart and Hollyleaf!

I froze. Something was wrong. It couldn't work out like this. No, StarClan wouldn't have let it happen.

Then why...?

There was a problem. A serious problem.

Hollyleaf was dead.

I was dead.

--

*Sandstorm and Graystripe are listed as elders because they were the oldest in the Clan and I needed a few more elders.

Oh, and I got a bunch of reviews saying that Mousewhisker was Hazeltail's brother, so therefore they can't be mates. OOPS! Clearly I was not thinking while writing the allegiances. Oops oops oops! DANGIT! So from now on, let's just say that instead of Hazeltail it says Poppyfrost, okay? Poppyfrost, everyone, Poppyfrost! Poppyfrost, Poppyfrost, Poppyfrost! Okay we're good now. And I haven't read anything up to Outcast so I'm just using information from other fanfics to get the allegiances right. Please correct any mistakes you see, and if anyone could type up the allegiances for the other three clans as of Sunrise, I would be SO thankful.

-Pan