His biggest talent is weaving and unraveling plans.

Paired with a dauntless spirit ready to take on anything.

Everything.

Fighting battles before they even begin and writing new rules for any situation if necessary. Mainly because he has always been able to see the big picture. He's smart and an ingenious risk taker: play the man not the odds, one of his many mottoes.

One thing that Harvey Specter is sure of is that he's in for the win. And he's always one step ahead of the competition. He can easily read them, anticipate what makes them tick, go for their throats and succeed.

And he always comes through.

Always.

Except this time.

There's always a first time, they say. And he's always thought his first was when Mike had gone to prison. Though later he'd found out that the jury would've acquitted Mike and he would've won the case. Maybe he shouldn't have pocketed that one as his first big loss after all. Maybe this is why it hit him like a freight train when Robert told them about the Ethics hearing he would have to face.

And it's also the moment in which he had lost his composure. Shattering rule number 1 in the Harvey Specter handbook along with the whiskey tumbler he threw against the wall. He needed to regroup and think. This is why he had asked them to leave him alone.

Because he always comes up with his best plans when he's alone, after all.

He's looking out the window into the late night city lights but not really enjoying their whimsical beauty. Harvey Specter is deep in thought, mustering all the information in his mind and trying to piece everything together again.

He had always enjoyed puzzles, even as a child. Never getting bored or tiring of them. Maybe this is why he loves baseball and poker so much. They require higher level thinking and an appreciation of the larger context. And it has always come easy to him but this time he seems to be lacking. It's like he can't seem to find that one piece of the puzzle that will unlock the rest of the game.

He's tired but he refuses to give up. Sitting at one of his office armchairs he decides to take a mental break. Deep down he knows why he can't seem to solve this problem. But part of him doesn't want to acknowledge it because he has made it a rule to shut everything personal out when planning a defence or solving a case.

Caring only makes you weak. They think you care, they walk all over you.

But Harvey Specter, the man, cares.

Cares too much.

Cares too deep.

And it's because he cares about her that he can't find his way out.

He cares about what she thinks of him.

He cares about how she feels towards him.

He cares whether or not she has faith in him.

Anyone else ever loses faith in me, it doesn't matter. But with you it's different.

And that's because Donna has always been more than just his employee... She's his best friend and confidante. His partner in every sense of the word and the person he knows he can trust implicitly. Donna is that constant voice in his head and in his heart that help him navigate the murky waters of this treacherous world. And he had promised that he would never let anything bad happen to her.

I told you I'd never let anything happen to you, and I won't ever, so you'll never have to feel that scared again.

He is not about to fail her this time. His sense and need to protect her even stronger, almost fierce, knowing that Thomas Kessler is not willing to do so. He still remembers how painful it was to watch Donna break down with what she went through with Stephen Huntley.

It's like a punch in the gut and a heart wrenching pain that takes over him whenever he thinks of the possibilities of Donna being put under scrutiny. Like he had told Kessler, she had worked too hard and for so long through the years to occupy the position she now holds.

She can't lose all she has achieved.

It's not fair to the strong and intelligent woman she is.

It's is not fair to the warm and caring soul she has.

This is Donna.

And she deserves it all...

He thinks back to the night before when Louis questioned him why he'd told Donna about Simon's deceitful play. Why did you have to tell her? That's what I don't get. Why?

Why had he? The easiest question to answer would preferably be why wouldn't he? Like he'd told Louis, as a name partner he knew he shouldn't do it but as a friend, he felt the need to let her know. After all, Donna knows everything, and besides, her opinion always allows him to put things in perspective. A moral compass of sorts. Except this time both were compromised: she was in a relationship with one of the parties and in his case, the need to protect her kicked in and did so by overcompensating Kessler's deal.

He has been trying to convince himself, ever since he found out about her dating Kessler, that he wants her to be happy. But deep down he knows it bothers him. In the past he had experienced that the feeling but he knows that it would eventually subside and Donna would always come back to him. But Thomas Kessler was no Mark nor Stephen, he was a good man, a decent one. So decent and honest that he wasn't willing to perjure himself in order to protect Donna from her downfall. And Harvey wants to respect the choice in partner she has made however, he can't help but feel that Kessler is somehow betraying her with his so called honor, candor and integrity.

Because Harvey Specter truly believes that sometimes you must do what you have to, just like he'd once told Mike: Sometimes the good guys gotta do bad things to make the bad guys pay. Besides, following every single rule all the time won't get you anywhere. And this was one of those times. This is what had him feeling so distressed. The fact he had used up all his cards: talking to Tanner, getting Simon fired by his Board, trying to convince Thomas to put all the blame on him in order to protect Donna at all costs. He knows what's coming and he's ready to take the blame even though Donna had told him it was really her fault.

Harvey, I'm responsible for this, I want to help…

She already feels incredibly ashamed and guilty.

I get it, if I really wanted to help I never would have told Thomas in the first place.

He can see it in her eyes and in her body language. The usual self-assured Donna is gone. And maybe it's the fact he's known her for so long, but he can tell that she's using concealer to cover up the dark circles that have begun to form around her eyes. He's also worried about her health and has made it his job to order a sandwich or salad and soup for lunch these last couple of days. He's told Ray to be at the ready if she needs a ride anywhere, something which he mentioned to her in passing since he knows she's overstayed her time at the firm the past few nights. She's stubborn but had finally taken his offer the night before when she'd left at nearly midnight. Something he finds out through Ray when he's finally made it back to his penthouse at nearly 3 a.m. himself.

The Ethics hearing begins at the scheduled time and Harvey, with Louis by his side, can't help but feel somewhat uneasy. But no one would ever notice that because he had learned from Jessica Pearson that if you're good at what you do it's ok to be a cocky son-of-a-bitch. In addition, he has enough experience on him to know that there are always last minute hail-mary plays that can ensure the final score on your side. And right now he pretty much needs one and is willing to take this risk. He knows what's at stake and they if it all plays out the way that it's headed, he's willing to take the bullet.

When he notices that it's well about time to begin and Donna is not here. He gives her a call and leaves a voicemail asking her if she's on her way as the hearing is about to begin. That's why after Simon is done with his participation, he turns around to Thomas and asks her whereabouts. After all, this is the man she's been dating so he might have some insight into it, as much as Harvey hates admitting to himself. But Thomas tells him that Donna wouldn't be attending the hearing because she dares not to watch what would happen. Turning to Louis next, he whispers what he's just been informed and Louis nods his head in acquiescence.

To some extent, this calms his nerves and allows Harvey to feel more in control. As long as Donna is spared the badgering from Daniel Hardman or the committee and the shame this whole process might inflict on her, he knows he can take on anything that is thrown his way. The last thing he wants is for Donna to be subjected to a similar experience as the one she had faced against Andrew Malik. She doesn't need her work ethic or personal integrity questioned by these men.

The hearing unravels when Alex Williams is summoned to the stand and everything advances at spectacular speed. Robert Zane takes the hit and Daniel Hardman tries to pursue Harvey's demise even by calling on Thomas Kessler for aid. However, the way the question Hardman formats it allows Kessler to give a non-answer. But not without first getting an intimidating look from Harvey, something that he knows spooks Thomas and boosts him into giving that vague answer. Harvey can almost feel he can breathe in relief. At least Donna was safe. Whatever comes after this Harvey knows he can deal with. But as the hearing continues and comes to an end, he's both grateful and upset, the feelings merging in a sea of confusion. However, both him and Louis understand that they need to accept things as they have turned out to be. There would be time to question Robert's reasons for taking the blame later, in the privacy of the firm.

He tries calling Donna again once the hearing is adjourned. He wants to tell her all about the it and how everything had played out. He also wants to ask her if she already knew that Alex and Robert would pair up to craft their plan. She is Donna after all, and she always knows what's what. But mostly, he wants her to know that the nightmare is over and that she will be ok. Her job, her integrity and her reputation remain intact. But once again she doesn't answer his call and he leaves yet another voicemail. Harvey also sends her an iMessage while Ray drives him back to the firm, just to be sure she gets the information either way. But just like every other iMessage he's sent throughout the day, it remains as delivered only. Harvey frowns as he looks out the window, the sea of pedestrians and cars unnoticed as he wonders where she could be and why does she want to remain removed from it all.

There's plenty to do once he returns to the firm. From gathering the rest of the senior and junior partners for informative emergency meetings and also letting the associates know that the next couple of days would have damage control as their priority. Jessica Pearson's disbarment a couple of years ago has given the firm enough experience to know how to handle this situation. This is why, for Harvey his first concern as senior partner is to call his major clients and reassure them that the firm remains strong even through this difficult time.

He uses the short breaks between calls to check his phone or to ask his secretary if Donna is back at her office. Both are always negative answers and he makes sure to either call her, leave yet another voicemail or send her an iMessage. He gets a message from Rachel telling him that Robert had had a conversation with Laura, her and Mike before coming to this decision and that there were no hard feelings. As a lawyer, she understood why her dad had made that decision and as a daughter, she was proud of the man he was. Just make sure to live up to his standards, Harvey were her parting words. Mike calls him sometime through the evening. They discuss the hearing and how Robert had come to that decision and had requested Alex to aid him in such. Before saying goodbye Mike's last statement and then question leaves Harvey feeling insecure and slightly apprehensive.

If Donna wasn't at the hearing and she's not at the firm, where is she? Rachel tried calling her several times but she never picked up. Have you talked to her, Harvey?

Rachel's friendship is one thing Donna cares very much about so it makes him feel a little worried to hear that she hasn't answered her best friend's call. But his secretary walks in to tell him that one of his major clients wants to meet at the company's headquarters and she's already sent for Ray to drive him there. He thanks her and decides to put his thoughts about a certain redhead at bay while he deals with the client.

Harvey picks up the tumbler and takes a sip of Robert's Scotch. It's not Macallan but the senior partner still has impeccable taste in his choice of whiskey. He turns when he hears Alex's voice and they strike a conversation while they wait for Robert to return to his office. And he hates to sound needy or uninformed but he knows that Alex has become closer with Donna and has been the person to show her the most empathy and compassion, regardless of how much her telling Thomas about the deal had complicated matters for the younger attorney.

I called Donna after the hearing, she didn't answer...when I got back all of you guys were gone.

Alex brushes it off by saying that there really wasn't any reason for them to stay. And Harvey is in the middle of thanking Alex for what he and Robert did at the hearing when the recently retired senior partner walks in. He easily tells Harvey to stop asking questions that are none of his concern and states that he's made his peace and is good with what he did. Harvey understands that this generous man has given up a lot to save his sorry ass in exchange for an atonement of some sort. There's nothing else for him but to say thank you and accept it as it is. He can at least invite Zane to a meal but Robert decides to take a raincheck. And for some reason his next words strike a chord in Harvey.

Something like this happens, makes you know what's important, and for me...it's Laura.

Harvey understands that Robert might be willing to go home to his wife, just like Louis had taken off earlier that evening to spend time with a very pregnant Sheila. The last couple of days had kept them all on their feet and their significant others had been their sources of strength and support through it all. His thoughts immediately drift to Donna but Alex's ribbing about getting Robert a golden watch as a retirement present brings him back to the moment. He chuckles at the comment and asks Alex if he wants to go out for a burger instead.

Sorry, Harvey. Robert's right. I need to get home to the woman I love.

As he watches his colleague and fellow name partner walk away, Harvey can't help but feel a pang of melancholy and isolation. That same feeling he had the other night when Donna hadn't picked up her phone and he'd left a voicemail instead. A voicemail he wasn't even sure if she'd heard because she'd never even acknowledged it. And here he was alone again with his thoughts…

The feeling of melancholia remains in him as he leaves his office and gets ready to go home. As he passes Samantha Wheeler's office he notices that she's reading but mostly seems to be sharing his kind of mood. He decides to stop by and offer her some company and maybe some insight as he understands very well what it feels like to lose your friend and mentor.

As usual, the strong-headed blonde gives him a hard time and tries to dismiss him. But Harvey knows that she's in pain and reminds her that he's also gone through this experience when he lost Jessica Pearson in almost the same exact way Sam has lost Robert Zane.

They reminisce a little about who Jessica is and how much she means to him. And for some reason, this trip down memory lane makes Harvey realize that he's made it through so much during the past 14 years.

The many changes within the firm

Colleagues, such as Mike and Rachel, that have meant so much to him but has at one point needed to let free to go and branch out

Cases big or small that have been won or lost

Moments of extreme tension

Times of joy and happiness

Mistakes forgiven

Friendships forged

And then there were the people who would forever occupy a space in his heart and his mind…

Donna.

So when Sam begins to ponder about what Robert means to her, Harvey can't help but feel his heart begin to pound louder and louder,

He believed in me. He was the only one who ever did that. The only one who saw what I was. All my baggage... all my flaws…

He nods in understanding and fully gets where she comes from. And Sam fights the tears that are forming in her eyes and adds

He didn't just accept me. He loved me….not easy to find someone like that in this world.

Harvey once again can't help but get that feeling at the pit of his stomach. And his mind and heart search once again for whatever piece it is he senses is right in front of his eyes but some sort of imaginary veil prevents him from fully seeing it.

The next words Samantha's utters cut through his racing thoughts and beating heart.

What am I supposed to do when I have a big victory or a terrible loss and the only person I want to run and tell isn't there?

Harvey feels a rush of blood to his head and suddenly, just like that, the veil that prevented him from seeing it is gone.

Donna.

Donna is his missing piece.

She's the one that fits perfectly into the lock and key puzzle that is his heart.

And a myriad of memories flood his mind.

Donna smiling at him.

Bantering.

Thoughts of strawberries and whipped cream along with long strands of red hair intermingled with passionate kisses and sensuous curves.

Endless teasing about his ties, or his handwriting or his balls. His basketballs.

Donna giving him unsolicited but insightful advice he surely needed at the time.

Anticipating his needs even when she no longer was his secretary and had no reason to do keep doing so.

Being there for him during the rough times: Jessica leaving and Mike going to prison

Guiding him towards happiness: helping him make amends with his mother and helping out his brother during the divorce.

Celebrating the good: rising to the top from junior associate to name partner.

Keeping him company during the sad: his father's passing and later coming to terms and giving up the rights to his music.

Being there with him to see him rise and become the successful lawyer he is.

His moral compass at best.

The voice that drives him to become a better man.

Believing in him to get things done.

Having faith in him above all.

Donna is his constant.

Donna is the woman he loves…

He can't believe it's taken him this long to realize it and he gets up while he excuses himself amid Samantha's heartfelt discourse.

"I have to go" is all he says and Samantha gives him a confused look and asks,"where?"

He's very sorry but now that he knows, he can't wait anymore.

"I just have to" he says without offering further explanation and rushes out of her office. As he sprints down the hallway towards the elevator, he feels as though an external force is driving him. His heart is pounding faster and faster, and he breathlessly watches the elevators numbers decrease at a steady rate wishing they could go faster.

He doesn't have time to wait for Ray. Getting on a cab, he gives the driver her address. Taking out his cell phone, he checks if she's read his messages and they still appear only as delivered. But he can't even begin to type another message. The adrenaline coursing through his veins making his hands shaky with boundless energy. He doesn't remember ever feeling this way. It's like every single one of his senses is in overdrive. And he nervously taps his hand against his knee as the cab driver courses through the city streets.

He can't wait to see her.

Tell her.

Show her.

He can feel his heart skip a beat when the cab finally comes to a stop in front of her building. And he jumps out of the cab, handing over the bills in a rush as he tells the driver to keep the change. Taking advantage of a guy stepping out through the main entrance, he makes his way in and darts toward to the elevator. But the numbers signal it is on its way up already.

He's a rational man and normally he would wait but not tonight.

He's a red-blooded man and it's like this time he's living life with no brakes.

Though his knees might be shaking

And every bit of him is frightened to the core

Nothing will stop him.

He's never been more sure of what he feels.

How he feels.

Pushing the emergency exit he takes the stairs two at a time until he reaches the second floor. And as he walks down the hallway to door 206, Harvey Specter can't help but feel like he's falling upward. His heart is pounding hard. His warm blood is rushing through his body making him come alive for the first time.

And he can almost hear his future, and it's calling out his name.

Like a siren, love, challenging him to believe again.

He knows that in her arms, his heart won't break ever again.

He's determined and knows what he wants.

Knows what he needs.

Feeling almost breathless, he raises his hand and pounds on her door.

He can feel the air burning in his lungs.

And he patiently, but not quite patiently, awaits.

Then in a flash, the door swiftly opens to reveal her.

A frown drawn upon her questioning face.

Oceans of red is what he sees.

And he doesn't fail to notice the softness her expression takes when she realizes it is him.

Oh it's you!

But almost immediately a silent question follows and floods her expression with mild annoyance.

What are you doing here, Harvey?

And she takes a deep breath, probably feeling the raw energy radiating from his entire self.

He can feel himself exhale, and he's sure that his feelings, his thoughts are etched on his face. Donna Paulsen knows how to read him and in a matter of seconds...

She does.

And she knows

A flash of a smirk draws on her lips

Lowering her guard and taking three steps back

Eyes narrowing with a mischievous glint

She challenges him

You really want it, Specter? Then come and get it…

And that's the only cue Harvey needs and he charges forward for a kiss...

A/N Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Granted, the scenes can hardly be translated into words because the actors already gave us such magical performances.

Please let me know what you think, hard truths and all, otherwise, what are we doing? (feel the Harvey Specter/Donna Paulsen vibes?!)

Thank you for being such amazing readers. XO