THE SALTY CHRONICLES VOL WHATEVER
BERNX PARKER BROMANCE 6EVA
THE ADVENTURES OF THE LOCH NESS MONSTER AND HIS QUICK STRIPPER PICKER- UPPER
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One day, Parker's burrito copter broke after the battle with bern and his tromboner. He didn't have a job because he couldn't give the loch ness monster BJs anymore. Thus our poor protagonish had to find a new source of income. Suddenly Parker had a stroke-o-geniosoness. He would make an amazingly abolicous new invention. He could see it now- a giant magnet in the shape of a booty that caught all the strippers in a 6969669696969696966969696 jizzmilenionaquatrilliono mile radius. He hopped in the part of the flying burrito copter that was not broken, and took over a Chinese factory by making them watch hentai. He put his lil communist slaves to work, paying them only tree fiddy per per bootymillion hours they worked, building him his quicker stripper picker uppers. Finally all of them were done. He hijacked santas sleigh and flew back to the us to be gin marketing his new product. Sadly, no one wanted to buy Parkers genioso thingymajiger, so he prayed to the loch ness monster. "Nesse is love, nesse is life." Suddenly he had a vision. Beneath a sky of fried chicken, everyone was buying a stripper picker upper. He knew what he had to do. Parker ran outside with his invention, and turned it on high. Suddenly, a sea of scantily clad people flew into the air and into the giant butt magnet. "IT WORKS!" cried parker. Suddenly bern appeared. He was tired of nessies shit okay? "Cock-a-mothaa-fuckin-do" he sollemly said as he pulled the power cord off the booty magnet. The ball of strippers fell to the earth, triggering a chain of catacalysmic events that ultimintley ended in the earth's spontaneous combustion. Damn loch ness monster achived world domination