The Diary
A/N: I DO NOT own or work for any of the companies and/or products that are mentioned in this story.
Chapter 2: Nostalgia
2 days after move in day.
There is no feeling like the feeling you get when you wake-up alone. Especially after you've known the feeling of waking up next to someone.
I had my first long term relationship at 16. Her name was Alyssa. We met in high school. She had these deep chocolate colored eyes and long brown wavy hair. She was a volleyball player and I was a tri-athlete. We were kind of a power couple, but the spark started when we were in biology. That day, we had to dissect frogs and she ended up feeling sick so I had to take her to the nurse. Ever since then we were together. I took her to homecoming and Jr. prom. Our senior year we went to prom and ended up being king and queen.
If you are still and high school and you are reading my story. Then I will tell you that all of this does not matter in the real world. Your managers and bosses will not care if you were prom king or prom queen or if you scored with a bunch of girls in high school. Everything changes once you graduate.
We lost our virginity to each other on prom night like some sappy teen movie. Honestly it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was going to be.
We broke up after my mom died. What a way to end a 4 year relationship. We still chat sometimes. She currently lives in San Francisco, married, with two kids. Im happy for her. (but not really.)
My second girlfriend I got when I turned 21. Her name was Danielle. She had this dirty blonde hair and green hazel eyes that drove me wild. She always wore these dresses that were modest yet sexy at the same time. I don't even have words to describe. I met her at a bar. I was so hammered that I just casually walked up to her and asked her out. She said yes, only because she didn't want me to kill myself because of the state I was in. We hit it off pretty well. But it wasn't a surprise to me, my mother raised me right.
You wanna know the sexiest thing about Danielle though? And it wasn't anything about her looks. It was her voice. She had this raspy almost sensual speaking voice that drove me crazy. She could seriously say something like,
"Did you get any Cocoa Krispees today?"
and I it would get me so turned on I couldn't even think strait. And if you're wondering, the sex was amazing. I was inexperienced still at that young age, but I learned quickly and being an athlete definitely helped with my endurance. It was different than with Alyssa when everything had to be romantic and set up to the mood.
When I was with Danielle it was almost out of the blue. I honestly used to think that she only wore dresses because it would just be easier access for me. There was this one time, no joke. We had just gotten back to my apartment from the grocery store (she was living with me at the time, I was 22), and I just finished putting down the last bag when she said…
"hey did you get any frozen waffles?"
"babe I don't think I got them." I said. She was angry and she started this big argument about waffles so by the end when she said.
"James all I asked for was some fucking waffles and you just forget. What if we have kids are you gonna forget to feed them?" she screamed getting up in my face.
"They're just. Fucking. WAFFLES!" I yelled back.
It was silent for a moment before she attacked my lips and started tugging at my shirt. She was about a foot shorter than me so I needed to level the playing field. I lifted her up on the counter and we started having sex right then and there.
We broke up a couple of months after that incident.
But those were good times.
But now I am single and it has been 2 years since I've had any other sexual relationship with another woman. And the feeling of waking up alone still gets to me. Mostly because I think it's time to settle down and start a family. Im 26 for god's sake. My mom if she were alive would have been saying things like
"James, you should look for a nice girl to marry so I can meet my grandkids."
Or how she doesn't want to be the only one of her friends without a grandkid. I told her before she died that I'd have kids just like she wanted. But this is enough trying to remember the past. It just get's me depressed.
I get out of bed, the sunlight creeping through the blinds of my bedroom. My walls look plain and dull. Only my bed and desk occupy the rather large space. I make a mental note about going to IKEA and buy a TV stand and a couch. The apartment itself is pretty spacious. A medium sized kitchen, two full bathrooms, one living room area and one large bedroom. Honestly, I probably won't even use one of the bathrooms.
It's now 1pm. Im still in my pajama bottoms laying on the floor of the living room with an empty bowl of Cocoa Krispees in front of me.
Mental Note: buy table for eating.
I jump into the shower and by the time I leave out the front door it's 2:27, not my fastest time, but still adequate.
There is a cute girl that passes by me in the hallway but she is not my "type". Im kind of picky when it comes to potential girlfriends. Especially now that im looking for one to get married to. I get down to the parking garage and see my current wife. My truck.
Yes, like you might have guessed, me being a country boy. I drive a truck. And I love it to death. I named her Maxima. Yes I named my truck. Guys like to name things. It's like it makes it official that it's ours.
No. I do not have a name for my dick.
Anyways I start her up and as always she roars awake and I head towards the IKEA, which is decidedly one of my least favorite places to shop at. It's Second to Costco. Too many stupid people with no manners or sense of courtesy. All im asking is for you to not leave your cart in the middle of the aisle. Please.
I get there and because it's 3pm in the afternoon on a Thursday it is packed. Don't these people have jobs? I shouldn't say anything because I am here pushing around a flatbed shopping cart in a white v-neck, dark blue basketball shorts and some air Jordans. It's a step up from the guy in front of me with jeans, crocs, a wolf shirt and to top it off a fanny pack.
I browse through the "TV solutions" aisle and decide on a black one. I don't remember the name of it. This being said,
Dear IKEA,
Please start naming your products with names that I can pronounce and actually remember.
I walk over a couple of aisles to get a small table for the kitchen so I wouldn't have to eat on the couch everyday. Again with the weird names but it was small and fit perfectly in the kitchen area.
There are bunches of moms with their kids here shopping for things they probably don't even need. I walk down towards the couch section and look at the different models. I choose the most normal looking one in a dark gray tone. This aisle is pretty empty except for the woman near the end trying to get a big box of something into her cart. At first I spotted her through my peripherals, but I turn and I see her from behind.
She has this dirty blonde hair that's just reaching to the middle of her back, in loose curls and perfect. Her white dress barely above the knee, showing her beautifully toned lower legs. I automatically know who this person is and my heart races. I haven't seen her in 4 years. But I have to act cool so I casually stroll over with my cart and catch the box for her before it falls to the floor.
"Here ya go miss…" I get to see her face. Danielle has matured nicely. If it was possible, she got even prettier.
"Well if it isn't my knight in shining armor." She said in her raspy tone of voice. She smiled, her green eyes shining just like I remember. God help me because I don't know how I can keep composure. If I weren't so restrained I would bend her over one of these weird looking couches…
Chill James, Chill.
"Danielle. I haven't seen you since…"
"Since we broke up" she finished. She looked down at her feet before looking back up at me.
"Yeah. Since then. What have you been doing?" I asked as I walked with her to the cash register which was somewhere in the building I guessed. Damn this place is confusing
"Im a teacher now. Music teacher actually." She said walking slowly with me. I don't really know exactly why she broke up with me. She never told me. But im glad that she is successful. She does have a beautiful singing voice.
"That's great. You always had a really good singing voice." I said with a smile. Man was I really glad I had taken a shower before this.
"What about you? Are you still doing the paramedic thing?"
"Actually I was until about two weeks ago. My dad just died so I have to take over the family business." I say, I look at her, and her smile is gone and I know the words that are coming next.
"I'm so sorry." She said.
"It's okay. It's not like it's your fault…is it?" I said jokingly trying to change the mood. I see her smile creep onto her face and she laughs slightly.
" You're still the same James. Making lemonade out of lemons." She said looking up at me. Her gleaming eyes killing me inside.
I smile at her and laugh slightly. "Yeah. Same ol' James."
We reach the check out and the cashier takes me first. She scans my items and asks me…
"and the lamp set and lounge chair as well?" she pointed at Danielle's things. Before Danielle says anything I answer and say yes. Good move James, good move.
"James… don't. I can get it." She said grabbing my hand as I reached for my wallet. Her touch still feels amazing, her soft hands against my skin, I feel my heart race once again.
"It's okay. Just call it a late birthday present. It was last month right?" I said.
"You remembered that?" she said letting go of my hand. I take my wallet out and hand over my card to the cashier.
"Yeah. I always remember birthdays." I lied.
The cashier charged me and we walked out I helped Danielle to her car and I put her things in the trunk.
"Alright well that's all of it" I say wiping my hands on my shorts. This is awkward I don't know what else to say. But thankfully she breaks the silence
"It was really nice seeing you again James." She said getting closer and opening her arms to give me a hug. I hug her back and damn does it feel good.
"Yeah it was nice seeing you too Danielle." I say before releasing and backing away. I should get her number or something. But I start to walk away towards my car.
"Hey James. What are you doing tonight?" she asks. I stop in my tracks and smile before turning around.
"Nothing actually. Probably going to assemble all of this furniture. Should be a fun night." I said laughing.
"Well do you wanna get some coffee or something? Catch up." She said taking out her cell phone.
"Sure what's your number?" I ask taking mine out. 4 missed calls. Oh well. This is more important.
I get her number and when I get home I am ecstatic. I get into the shower and take a quick rinse. I wasn't sure of what I should have worn. But now I'm sitting at a starbucks in dark blue jeans and a button up shirt. I wish I had gone with a short sleeve because it's very hot in here. Maybe it's just me because I am a bit nervous. But I see her walk in and it seems like everything is okay.
The date it self went well and we ended up going back to my apartment to catch up even more. Mostly she wanted to know about me and how I was doing. But she told me she really likes teaching.
"I always knew you'd be a good teacher. You were always really good with kids." I said as I took a swig of coffee. She leaned against the counter as she held her cup of caramel macchiato close.
"Yeah I love those kids. They're just so ready to learn all the time." She said with a smile.
"That's great. I kinda wish I would have gotten a job as a teacher." I said.
"Really why?"
"I mean with the divorce rates the way they are. Imagine all the single mom's I would meet." I said with a small chuckle. She laughed softly and bit her lip.
"Yeah or you can meet some really cute teachers." She said raising an eyebrow looking down at her coffee., her voice was low and raspy and it was turning me on ever so slightly.
"Maybe." I said my voice just as low as hers. I take a step closer to her and now her chest is almost flush with mine. I take a breath and brush away a stray strand of hair away from her face tucking it behind her ear. I don't know exactly what came over me. It was just an instant attraction again. And it had almost been like we were still together. The longing of her touch was overwhelming me.
"It's been too long." I whispered looking into her eyes.
"Too long." She responded as she got up on her on her tiptoes to kiss me. Her touch was like fire. It was like she hadn't gotten any in years. But it wasn't like I had either. Her hand gripped the back of my head pulling me into her even more. She hopped up on the counter of my kitchen on her own and I settled between her loving thighs. We separate for a moment to catch our breath. My hands go down to her thighs slowly pushing her dress upwards. She inhales sharply as my fingers glide up her skin to her hip, feeling the elastic of her underwear push against my hand.
During this she is looking into my eyes, and I am looking into hers. She bites her lip and pushes herself into my hand. My fingers caress her and she moans slightly leaning her head back. I insert one of my fingers into her and start up a slow motion getting her wet with every thrust.
By this moment I know she can feel my growing erection against her thigh. And she notices this. Her fingers work her way to my belt unbuckling it giving me a little bit of freedom. I groan because her fingers quickly unzipped my pants and wrap around my hardened member. She pushed my jeans down and rubbed me down over my boxer-briefs. I groan and push a second finger into her she moans my name in that raspy low voice of hers and I almost cum right then and there. But I hold myself and start to move toward the bedroom. Her strong legs wrap around me as I shuffle to the bed. I lay her down and she looks into my eyes as she slowly pulls down her own panties. I stand over her as she looks up at me. And I pull down my boxers and uncover myself. She smiles and bites her lip as her hands wrap around me and slowly glides up and down.
Im not gonna lie and say my package is huge. Honestly it's only 6 inches (6 ¾ when im hard). Nothing too big or too small. But really, it all matters on how you use the thing. But right now, she controls me, she is my master.
I look down at her as she scoots her self upwards towards the head of the bed. She curls her finger signaling me to go over to her. And I do. I kneel over her and push up her dress over her head. She takes it off and throws it to the floor and I smile at her. She is my beautiful Aphrodite. I know something is off and she looks at me cause she knows something is up too. Protection. I get off of her quickly before going into the bathroom to find a new box of condoms. Thank god for being prepared. I take one out and go over to her and position myself over her again. She sits up taking the condom from me and insists on putting it on me. Her slender fingers going over my length. I groan and thrust slightly upward.
"Someone's in a hurry." She said sexily as she lay back down on her back.
"Sorry. It's been a while." I smiled before thrusting into her.
The night was long. And so was the session. I thought I would only last 30 minutes because of the fact that I haven't been having sex as often. But I went for a good two rounds before passing out. She of course being a girl had to have all the fun and cum like a thousand times. But that is an exaggeration. It was only 5. It was 2am by the time we actually fell asleep. We were breathing hard and I could feel the droplets of sweat on my forehead.
I held her close before I felt myself drifting off to sleep. What a way to be nostalgic.
Post A/N: character update.
(note: I've been watching glee a lot with my neighbor so sorry for the uncreativeness)
Alyssa- Lea Michele
Danielle- Dianna Agron