The three dark lines of warpaint over his father's right eye should have been the first clue, the dreamshade-tipped spear pointed in his direction, the second. His father was lost in his grief, convinced his son was dead and that Neal was a Shadow sent by Pan to deter him from sacrificing himself to save Henry. Neal was pinned to a tree with the spear at his throat before his whimpered, "Papa," broke through Rumplestiltskin's pain to convince him he was alive and really there.
There was no denying that Papa loved him, not when his apparent death had such an effect on him, but it was frustrating that magic was his solution to everything. Even so, Neal wasn't about to let him continue his suicide quest when there was a perfectly reasonable alternative. No one was going to die.
Squid ink certainly had its uses. Their plan to rescue Henry worked perfectly, except for Pan's ability to keep talking while immobilized. His warnings got into Neal's head, planting doubts about his father's intentions regarding Henry. Well-founded doubts, it turned out. Neal was surprised that his father actually admitted to plotting to kill a child—his own grandson—all because of some prophecy that wasn't going to go away just because Rumple abandoned the attempt to thwart it when he thought Neal was dead. Undoing was still undoing, whether here in Neverland to save Henry, or back in Storybrooke where Belle waited. Sooner or later, his father would decide he'd rather live, and then Henry would no longer be safe from him.
The Dark One could beg and plead all he wanted, but so long as he refused to tell him the truth about Pan, give him the dagger, or give him any reason at all to trust him with anything... No. As much as Neal wished Papa's words were true, that his happy ending was redeeming himself for Bae, that he could be strong if Bae believed in him, it wasn't enough. How could Neal have faith in a man who chose power over his own son and left him behind for centuries?
It didn't help Neal's mood that his father was right about his chances of evading Pan without him. Henry was stolen away from him without once waking up to realize his father was alive and trying to rescue him.
Emma and her family found Neal, but wouldn't you know... no sooner had they gotten back to camp, than Regina showed up with his father. Rumplestiltskin didn't defend himself any better in front of Henry's entire family, but he did relinquish Pandora's Box. Neal made it clear that the moment his father even attempted magic, he would be trapped inside. They didn't have to trust him if they could stop him.
As they moved out to strike Pan's camp, Papa tried to warn him again, going so far this time as to admit that Peter Pan had destroyed Papa's father. It wasn't the whole truth. How could it be, when Papa had been so reluctant to say it? But it was enough for now to know why Papa had never approved of Pan.
Henry wasn't in the camp as they had expected, but they did find Wendy. It was his father who pointed out that she was hiding something from them, and the news that she had wasn't good. Pan had convinced Henry that Neverland would die without the Heart of the Truest Believer, but the truth was that Pan was dying, and if he took Henry's heart, then Henry would die.
It was what Pan had been looking for since before Bae arrived on the island the first time. Maybe even back before he'd met him around the bonfire outside of Hamlin. Had Pan known that the heart he needed would belong to Bae's son? Was that why Baelfire had been able to escape, so that Henry would have a chance to be born?
Papa had tried to tell him from the beginning that Pan would betray him, but Bae hadn't listened. Nor had Neal listened when Papa said he'd cut off his shadow and sent it away with the dagger to hide. This time, when Papa proved to be the only one able to cross Pan's shadow barrier, Neal had to trust him to save his son.
By the time Emma and Regina figured out a way to bypass the barrier and the three of them found Pan and Henry, Rumplestiltskin had disappeared. There wasn't any time to think about that, though, not with Henry giving Pan his heart. It wasn't until Pan picked up Pandora's Box and said that if Rumplestiltskin hadn't had it in him to defeat Pan, none of them could, that Neal realized what must have happened. Papa hadn't run away or betrayed them; he was trapped in the box. But then Pan flew off, taking the box and leaving the three of them to fuss over an unconscious Henry.
They returned to camp to regroup, but it wasn't until Emma, Regina, and Snow had left to retrieve Henry's heart while the rest went back to the Jolly Roger, that Neal spared a thought for his father. Everyone was understandably worried about Henry, but not one person had even asked about Rumplestiltskin. Not even Emma's parents, whose only hope for getting off this island was for him to come back to Storybrooke with them and create a dreamshade cure. Instead, they seemed too ready to accept their fate.
Neal wasn't as readily accepting of his father's fate. If they left without him, Neal knew he would mourn him all over again. Whatever else had happened between them, Papa hadn't lied when he swore he wouldn't hurt Henry. If he had, then he wouldn't be trapped inside a tiny hellbox hidden who knows where on this godforsaken island. But the one thing Neal knew Papa would agree with him on was that Henry came first. He came to Neverland expecting to die for his grandson; he would understand if Neal wasn't able to find him before they had to leave. They couldn't risk Pan coming after Henry a second time.
Thankfully, he didn't have to dwell on the possibility of leaving Papa behind. The women returned with both Henry's heart and the box. After Henry was safely tucked in, with Regina watching over him, Emma took Neal aside and filled him in on the biggest secret of his family's history.
Suddenly it all began to make sense. Pan wasn't just some childhood friend Papa had a falling out with over some inconsequential betrayal. Papa's crazed reaction when he thought Neal was Pan's shadow wasn't just about his willingness to die to save Henry. Everything made sense, except for why Papa never told him Pan was his father.
It was a relief to be able to hug Papa again. Freed from the box, he was all too willing to answer Neal's question. Abandonment ran in their family, and Neal could finally see the scars that Papa had tried so hard to hide. With understanding came forgiveness, because while Rumplestiltskin and Pan had both abandoned their sons, Papa had come back for him. It may have taken centuries to find him, but the effort made all the difference in the world.
Besides, if Mr. Gold had never tracked him down in Manhattan, Neal Cassidy would never have met his own abandoned son. They certainly were a messed-up family, but at least now they could have a chance to heal.
Sadly, that chance never came. Within days of returning to Storybrooke, Papa was ripped away from him by the one thing they thought they had avoided.
Pan had tricked them all. He came back with them to Storybrooke and wasted no time in casting a second Dark Curse. To stop it, Regina would have to undo her original curse. But Pan wasn't satisfied with creating a new Neverland. He caught them out on the street and froze everyone with magic before anyone could lift a finger. Everyone, except Papa.
His absence worried Neal. The last he'd seen, Papa was watching over Pan, with a magic-blocking cuff on Pan's wrist to prevent just this sort of thing from happening. But here Pan stood, gloating over his captive audience and debating whether to kill Neal or Belle first – a move blatantly calculated to cause Papa the most harm. It was revolting, and Neal was glad to see Papa coming up behind Pan just as he made his choice. Right then, Papa could do his worst to Neal's evil grandfather and face no objection from Neal.
The moment he realized that Papa's magic was being blocked by the cuff they had put on Pan, Neal knew it wasn't going to end well. He wanted to scream and cry and strangle Pan himself, but all he could do was watch as Papa said goodbye and plunged the dagger through Pan and into himself.
He got a glimpse of who his grandfather had been before he became Pan, but then they both were gone, disappearing in a flash of bright magic. Neal barely noticed when the spell holding them frozen dissipated. He was too shocked to process any of it. A part of him wanted to fall to the ground crying like Belle, but he smothered the instinct. He couldn't afford to fall apart just yet. They still had a curse to deal with.
By the time the immediate threat was gone, he had lost more than just his papa. Emma and Henry were in the Land Without Magic, their memories wiped of ever knowing about Storybrooke, while Neal was stuck back in the Enchanted Forest with everyone else. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, and for the first time ever, Neal thought he might be able to understand what it must have been like for Papa all these years they'd been apart.
Neal may not have known Henry for very long, but he burned to get back to his son and Emma. Desperation and determination were a blessing, distracting him from dwelling on Papa's sacrifice. He distanced himself from his grief and focused on the practical. What Papa had left behind in the Dark Castle had helped him once before. If there was any way back to the Land Without Magic, he'd find a clue to it there.
But then Belle was there, tearing down his walls and planting hope in his heart. They hadn't seen Papa's dagger after he killed Pan. Maybe there was some way to bring him back. Neal never thought he'd be grateful to the Dark One power, but if they were able to revive Rumplestiltskin because of it, he knew Papa would find a way to Emma.
Damn the price of magic.
Finally, he understood. Like father, like son: a desperate choice with consequences beyond imagining. A year inside his father's head, listening to the whispers of the Dark Ones past. Papa's consciousness was barely coherent most of the time, a side effect of whatever magic he'd used to preserve a dying Neal inside himself, but his emotions and memories were as clear as Neal's own.
Dark Ones don't sleep. Instead, this one spun. Over the course of their captivity, Neal was privy to his father's spinning-dreams. They were more memory than dream, and the emotions they triggered in Papa helped to decode his motivations, especially with the whispers giggling and jeering like hecklers in a movie theatre. The only thing all three of them seemed to agree on was their hatred for Zelena and the cage she kept them in.
The memories Neal saw were never in order, and certainly far from complete, but they all told the story of abandonment, love, and desperation that defined his father more than the label of "coward" ever had.
There were moments when Papa was almost lucid. One was when Belle found them, reaching through the bars of their cage, and Papa was able to advise their visitors on how to defeat Zelena. But he wasn't himself, and they left him there.
Papa wasn't aware enough to care about rescue. Neal was fairly certain that Papa couldn't even distinguish Neal from the other voices in his head. He knew he was there – the memory of his resurrection was frequent enough, as painful as it was – but no matter how hard he tried, Neal couldn't get Papa to hear him.
So when Zelena was foolish enough to give Papa a memory potion and leave the cage open, Neal didn't waste time trying to reason with Papa. The Dark Curse was coming to take them back to Storybrooke, and there was only one way to save them. Papa didn't need to remember, Emma did.
Neal wasn't sure how he managed to separate from Papa, but once he'd sent the messenger bird to Hook with a note and the potion, he fell back into his father as if it was the easiest thing in the world. The effort left him exhausted, and he wasn't sure when the curse overtook them.
When he woke up in Storybrooke's hospital, the last thing he remembered was watching Papa die before they all got sent back to the Enchanted Forest. But there was a strange burn mark on his palm, and everyone was saying Papa was alive, but missing.
Against orders to rest, he joined the search as soon as they left him alone. He was in the forest, one tree looking very much like the next, when he ran into Emma. She gave in to his stubbornness, and they walked along together for a time. She told him about her year in New York with Henry, and he told her that he'd be happy so long as she was happy, even if it wasn't with him. Emma stopped to answer a call from Belle, who had been researching the mark on Neal's palm.
Suddenly Neal was attacked by a massive headache. The pain was intense, dropping him to his knees. His palm burned and his bones ached. Every part of him hurt, but a voice emerged from the pain.
Papa.
He was inside him. Screaming, whimpering, babbling about voices and flying monkeys, and an insistent urge to run. None of it made any sense, except that this must be the price. He'd saved his father from death, but only one of them could survive.
The choice was easy. Papa knew the identity of the Wicked Witch, and could help them defeat her. Emma had to separate them before they both died. According to Belle, Neal should already be dead. The only reason he wasn't, must have been Papa's doing, but it was time to let go. There was a price to pay, and a town to save.
Emma took his hands, and in a flash everything was quiet. No more voices, no more pain. Just a soft lethargy as he felt his life slipping away.
Papa. Papa was himself again, his suit tattered, but his mind lucid. Desperate as always to save his Baelfire. But it was time to let go. After all the sacrifices Papa had made to save those he loved, it was Neal's turn to save him. Papa had to let him go.
"I love you, Papa..."
A/N: So this part was longer than I expected, making the whole thing much longer than expected. There were several points I could have stopped, but Neal wanted me to keep going until everything was said.
Apologies to anyone wondering what happened to Neal's goodbye to Emma, but the focus was on the Papafire relationship and how Neal grew to forgive Rumple.
Also, as I was finishing the last scene, I realized that if a soul only gets 1 piece of unfinished business in the Underworld, Neal's would have been Rumple. Neal didn't spend much time in the Underworld because he had already worked through most of his "unfinished business" before dying. If he spent any time there, it was likely just passing through. I know some would say that Emma or Henry should have been his unfinished business, but after writing this, I have to disagree. The Papafire bond is just so powerful and so deeply ingrained in who Neal and Rumple are. (I have other theories on the hows and whys of unfinished business, but this is not the place for that.)
Thank you everyone for reading! (And for being so patient! I got stuck when I realized I didn't remember what happened while Rumple was in Pandora's Box. Try looking that up on YouTube! Other than that episode, everything else was done purely from memory.)