"Is this some kind of joke?" Hermoine asked Harry.

"I think Ron's lost his buggering mind." Harry gaped at Ron and Mcgonagall as they entered the ball, their arms linked. People whispered and stared. Fred and George laughed. "Was this the only date the poor dope could get?"

Mcgonagall waved sternly. "All of you back to the ball!"

As they reached the bottom of the stairs Snape stood before them. "What's going on Minerva?"

"What does it look like Snape? Ron and I are going to the ball."

Snape's mouth stood agape. "Dumbledore will hear about this." He warned.

Mcgonagall and Ron moved past him. They danced round and round while everyone watched.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Neville whispered to Hermoine.

"He's committing social suicide." Another hufflepuff whispered.

"They've got to be under some kind of spell." Hermione watched in disbelief.

Malfoy and his gang were laughing hysterically and cracking jokes.

Suddenly Dumbledore burst in the room with Snape behind him. He strode up to Mcgonagall. "What is the meaning of this Minerva?"

Ron put an arm protectively around her waist. "Mcgonagalls my girlfriend. We're in love."

"Have you both lost your mind?" Snape intoned darkly. "You see Albus, it's just as I said."

Mcgonagall scrunched up her face. "Ron makes me feel young again."

The headmaster looked shaken up. "Can this be true?"

"They should be banished immediately from the school!" Snape had a look of discust.

"Now, now Snape, you shouldn't be so quick to judge. If I remember correctly when you were a student here you and a certain janitor were in love."

Snape blanched.

"You mean Filtch?!" Ron asked incredulous.

Snape scowled angrily. "That was in the past I..." Snape was at a loss for words.

"I want permission to date Mcgonagall." Ron asked bending his knee to Dumbledore in an attempt to be gallant.

"Get up you prat!" Snape growled. He looked ready to explode with anger. Ron took a step back. "Minerva, you can't do this. Because... Because I love you."

People had stopped dancing and were edging closer in order to watch the events unfolding in front of them.

"Well then," Dumbledore spoke sagely. "The only thing we can do then is a magical duel for her hand."

"Albus! This is hardly the 1800s. I don't think..." Mcgonagall spoke up. Still reeling from Snape's confession.

"A sexual wizarding duel, to decide who is most worthy." Dumbledore finished.

Snape smirked.

"You're on!" Ron huffed.

"Wands at the ready!" Dumbledore said excitedly.

The middle of the room cleared. "Is this really happening?" Hermione asked Harry. The room was abuzz.

"Silence!" Dumbledore commanded.

Ron and Snape faced one another. They begin unzipping their pants. They both began jerking their meat wands. Snape bellowed, "Cumius Bookakius!"

A stream of thick white-gray cum flew across the room from Snape's member and hit Ron squarely in the face. He flew back three feet.

Snape smirked at Mcgonagall as Ron stood up. He wiped Snape's cum off his face. "Backdorius Openo!" Ron yelled.

Ron's tiny member shot cum into Snape's butthole. The potion master smiled until he realized what was going on.

Dumbledore clapped in delight. A few people in the room begin to vomit.

Suddenly at the same time Ron and Snape cast, "Cumius Faceio!"

Both streams of their cum collided, cracking and splitting the air.

"Ugnnnn." Ron's face contorted in concentration. A drop of sweat ran down Snape's face. Snape was far more experienced but Ron being young and almost virginal was filled with cum.

"I don't believe it." Dumbledore watched with amazement as spectral forms of dildos began coming out of their cum streams. "It's the ghosts of used-up dildos past."

There was to much power. Some of the cum began spilling on the crowd. There were screams of horror, people began racing out of the room.

The stream finally overcame Ron. He fell back, covered in a mixture of his and Snape's cum. To exhausted to move he laid still, his face resting in the sticky substance.

"We have a winner!" Dumbledore claps, elated.

"This ridiculousness has gone far enough!" Mcgonagall huffed. "I'll choose who I'll be with." She changed herself into a cat and walked off. Her tail held high.

"Nonetheless, what we witnessed was a Christmas miracle." Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Filch walked in and surveyed the room in discust. "All these years later and I'm still cleaning up your man mess Severus."

Dobby looks around the room at the few people left in it. "God bless us, every one!"