I bolted upright, glancing around wildly. Nightmares again. I searched the room, expecting to see Prim lying next to me. But she wasn't there. For a moment, I panicked, but then I remembered- I remembered everything. I knew the reason why Prim wasn't with me.

But could I accept it? Could I accept any of... this? What they had told me? They couldn't be serious... and yet, Cinna wouldn't do this to me, wouldn't lie about it to me. It has to be real.

But how can I accept that... that I'm not me any more?

** Flashback**

'Explain,' I ordered, my voice flat. 'Now.'

'Nikki?' the girl asked, now sounding slightly worried. I had a feeling she regretted bursting in here.

'Yes, that's Nikki,' Cinna said quickly. 'Who are you?'

'Me?' she whipped her head around as if to look for anyone who might be behind her, and I realized quickly that this girl probably wasn't the smartest in the world... although I had to admit, she was quite beautiful. 'I'm Lulu,' she said, and a pearly-white smile stretched across her face. Her eyes flickered to me, like she was hoping I might recognize her now. Definitely not smart. 'Lulu Collins.'

'Lulu... we're going to have to ask you to leave,' the doctor-man said to her. His tone was gentle but firm. He sounded like he was dealing with someone who wasn't all there, someone who needed to be treated carefully.

But the girl, Lulu, simply said, 'Sure.' She spun on her heel and skipped out of the room. Skipped.

I sat on the bed, arms crossed over my chest, staring expectantly at Cinna and the man. I was not happy, and not just because my cheese buns were probably getting cold.

'Who's Nikki? Why was she calling me that?' I asked, speaking directly to Cinna- the only one who I felt I could trust.

'This accident we were talking about...' Cinna started, then he trailed off hesitantly.

'Just tell me!' I said, raising my voice.

'Have you ever heard of brain surgery?' Cinna asked me. I frowned and shook my head. In answer, Cinna picked up a mirror from the silver tray and held it in front of me, his face apologetic.

I only had time to let out the loudest, most undignified scream I'd ever produced before I passed out.

**End Flashback**

I continued to lay in bed until the sun seeped through the curtains. Dawn was breaking. Time to get up. As I rose, I caught a glance at my reflection in the mirror and winced. It was going to be hard getting used to this. Curly blonde hair framed my now-pale face, and my eyes had changed from being steely gray to vibrant blue. I sighed and tore my gaze away from the mirrow, moving to pull on the outfit that had been laid out for me. It wasn't the same as the plain grey suits that a lot of people seemed to be wearing. It wasn't as ridiculous or puffy as many of the Capitol outfits. It was simply a pair of dark purple pants made out of some material I didn't recognize, paired with a light purple, strapless top. This had to be from Cinna. I smiled to myself, and was just getting dressed when there came a knock at the door.

'Nikki? Its Lu. Someone's here for you.'

'Okay,' I replied hastily. Cinna had told me to play along and act normal. It was now my job to be Nikki Howard, the Capitol's best-loved model... the girl whose body was stolen so that my mind could be placed in it. That's how it works. Her mind was dying, my body was dying. The Capitol needed their precious District 12 victor. So, of course, the only solution for them was to put my brain into Nikki Howard's body. Now I was Nikki Howard. I was no longer Katniss Everdeen.

The thought made me want to cry.

I finished dressing quickly, then opened the door and came face to face with Lulu Collins, Nikki Howard's best friend and fellow model.

'You said someone was here for me?' I asked, not meeting her eyes.

'Oh, yeah. Brandon's here; he's just gone to get some coffee. We didn't know how long you'd be, so...' she smiled. 'You look great.'

I ignored her last comment and instead focused on the name Brandon. Brandon, Brandon. I had heard his name before. I recognized it. Who was he? It wouldn't look normal for me to ask Lulu- my job was to pretend to be Nikki, who obviously knew who this Brandon boy was. After a few moments of thinking harder than was probably necessary, I decided to give up and wait until I saw Brandon's face. Then I would recognize him.

Lulu started playing music- loud. I felt dizziness start to consume me, so I excused myself and made my way out onto the balcony of Lulu's apartment- the place where I was ordered to stay. Away from my friends. Away from my family. Away from Prim and Gale and Peeta... away from everyone.

I sat on the deck chair that was left outside. The view was amazing. I was surprised to find that I could see all of Panem – well, as far as the mountains. I knew beyond those mountains was my home, my district. My real home. I blinked, and could see behind my eyelids an image of the arena where Peeta and I had fought in and won the Hunger Games. I felt a wave of sadness overtake me, but was interrupted before tears could start falling.

'Boo,' someone whispered in my ear. Hands were placed on my shoulders, and I jumped at the touch. 'Miss me?' the mystery person questioned. The voice was male, young.

I turned around and came face to face with a boy. He had cropped blond hair and sly green eyes, and his face was peppered with stubble. Brandon, I thought. This must be Brandon.

'Um,' was all I could think to say. It wasn't because his handsomeness overwhelmed me- no, of course it wasn't that. It was the way he was looking at me. I didn't feel right.

'Um what?' he asked teasingly, a smile on his face.

'Um... I'm sorry, I... I don't know who you are,' I said. It was the truth, really.

'Oh, you really do have amnesia?' He sounded surprised. 'I thought it was one of your publicity schemes.'

I stared at him blankly. Publicity schemes? He thinks I would use amnesia as a publicity scheme? Was this really something that Nikki would do- fake an illness, just for popularity?

She must be a monster. It made me feel worse about the whole thing.

'You want me to play along?' Brandon asked, and he grinned. 'Come on, you must remember me. I'm your boyfriend. Brandon. Remember?'

I shook my head and frowned. Boyfriend? Surely I didn't have to pretend to...?

'Well you seemed to have lost your voice, too,' he said sarcastically, and he smiled again.

'I haven't lost my voice,' I said. 'We... we should go inside.' Being alone with Brandon made me feel uncomfortable.

'Inside? Why?'he asked. His smile dropped into a frown.

'Because I'm cold,' I said, the first excuse that popped into my head.

He looked at me with raised eyebrows. 'So you don't want to be alone with me? Maybe there is something wrong with you. Usually by now, you'd have jumped my bones.'

I resisted the urge to blush and widen my eyes and simply pushed past him to go sit next to Lulu on the comfortable couch inside.

'Hey, Lulu. What's up with Nikki?' Brandon asked immediately, following me inside.

'I am here you know,' I snapped.

'Wow, guys, chill,' Lulu said. I was confused by this. Chill? What did she mean, chill? I hadn't been lying when I said it was cold outside- I was already quite chilled. 'Brandon, Nikki's just back from hospital. She needs time to recover, you know?'

'Recover? She looks fine to me.'

'She always looks fine to you,' Lulu said, rolling her eyes.

'I... I'd like to go to bed, if you don't mind,' I mumbled, far too confused by all of this.

'But you just got up...' Lulu frowned.

'Then... I just need to go outside, then. Get some... things.'

Maybe I didn't quite think this through, I thought as I blindly stepped out onto the streets of the Capitol. I wasn't comfortable being out here, after pretending and fighting for the entertainment of the people who walked

these streets daily. But I didn't turn back to the apartment. No, I didn't want to face Brandon and Lulu again, after just making a complete fool of myself in front of them.

I tilted my head up to the sky and shivered, feeling the cold. But the fresh air made my head feel so much clearer... I took a deep breath and smiled, actually smiled. It felt like I hadn't smiled in such a long time...