On Edge Chapter 2
As soon as the medallists had finished getting their photos taken, Yuuri ran off to get changed. By the time the other skaters had entered the changing room, Yuuri was already fully dressed and on his way out. He manoeuvred around everyone as he approached Viktor.
"Viktor!" he called.
Viktor gave a heart shaped smile as he turned to his fiancé.
"Yuuri!"
"I need to talk to you about something in private."
Viktor's face immediately fell. He nodded. The two sneaked into a room just at the end of the long corridor.
Luckily, the room was empty. It appeared to be a private changing room with only a few lockers and a bench. They sat together in silence for a moment. Yuuri stared at a scuff on the floor next to his feet.
"Yuuri?" Viktor asked, "What did you need to say to me? You're not going to say you're quitting, are you?"
Yuuri immediately shook his head frantically. He quickly said, "No, of course not Viktor"
He took a deep breath before rambling, "I told you I will be continuing and I can't wait to skate with you next season. I just needed to tell you something about me and I don't want you to think that you are obligated to react a certain way. I understand if you feel uncomfortable with me telling you and I don't want to think I am weak or incapable of managing. I mean.."
Viktor interrupted, "Yuuri! Breathe."
Yuuri stopped with a deep blush emerging on his cheeks.
Viktor took his hand. "Now," he said, "I would never judge you, I love you. Just take it slow and say it."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Since you are both my coach and engaged to me, I need to tell you something about me. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety."
Viktor turned on the bench to face Yuuri better. Leaning forward slightly, he said, "Thank you for telling me. I promise you that this does not affect how much I love and respect you at all."
Yuuri gave a watery smile.
Viktor started again, "If you don't mind, can I ask you some questions?"
The younger skater gave a resolute nod.
Viktor said slowly, "How does it affect you?"
"Well, in general, it means that I get anxious over things people wouldn't usually. For Social Anxiety, it can be as small as having to buy something at a shop. It makes me think that the person hates me for making them do something. Whenever I meet someone, I practice the conversation in my head constantly before saying anything. Then sometimes I end up not saying anything at all."
"I couldn't imagine how difficult that must be. To constantly be on edge when talking to someone."
Yuuri gave a helpless shrug, "It makes having any relationships difficult."
Viktor gave his hand a small squeeze. He said, "And what is Generalised Anxiety Disorder?"
"Just as it sounds. It is anxiety that isn't attributed to a specific cause like phobias. It causes people to always imagine the worst. If someone is late home, you imagine they have been in a horrific accident. You sometimes doubt your memory, and wonder what if I really did leave the cooker on, even if you checked it multiple times earlier. Whenever you are home alone, you think a thief is going to break in."
As Yuuri explained, his voice began to shake.
Viktor moved slightly closer.
Yuuri continued, "Yuri knows about this too. Or, at least, he knows I have anxiety because he walked in on me having a panic attack earlier."
"Yuuri. Is there anything I can do to help when you are feeling anxious?"
Yuuri smiled, "Just do what you are doing just now. Listen, and don't judge. I know that my thoughts are irrational and only driven by mental illness but that doesn't make it feel less real."
He snuggled into Viktor's side.
Nearly 10 minutes passed before Viktor reluctantly moved. He said, "We need to head to the press conference."
Together, they walked out into the jaws of the press.
Author's Note: There will likely be one more chapter. I wanted to put this one up today since it is World Mental Health Day.