Welcome back! Now, last time in our adventure, Scrooge chose the nickel to marry him and I told you that you'd have to wait until this chapter to find out what they rode away on into the sunset. Well they ran away on… A CHICKEN! Now, Scrooge and his life partner have been on a romantic getaway for 4 weeks and are now just returning on the same chicken back to where all the other characters are.
AND NOW…THE CONTINUATION OF KINGDOM HEARTS MADNESS!
"Hello everyone, how have you all been?" Scrooge asks cheerfully as he and Phillip get down off of the giant chicken. They return to find everyone with tattered clothes, multiple scrapes, and looking as thin as a twenty year old supermodel that's on crack. Of course Scrooge is too stupid to realize this and he keeps smiling.
"Oh we're fine you Scottish bastard," Xemnas replies angrily, "we've only been here for four weeks in the burning sun and with no food or water except from the buzzards that have occasionally come to eat us alive!"
"Good! Are we still playing Dare?"
"Yeah, we were all waiting for you to come back from your honeymoon," Sora says as all of his energy returns. "So who wants to go next?"
"ME!"
Everyone gasps as they look to the top of the sand dome. Standing on top of it in a truly heroic pose is none other than Donald Duck!
"I'll be the one to take you one Scrooge!"
"HOLY CRAP! DONALD CAN SPEAK NORMAL!" Goofy exclaims!
"That's right! I've been on an epic journey ever since you all banished me. I ended up in Japan, where I found a sensei for speaking correct English in that Japanese speaking country. My trials were difficult, such as when I-
"Yeah, yeah, we get it. You had to go through crap, just to learn how to use your tongue to speak without spitting. It hasn't been a picnic here either, at least you were fed! Look at you! You must've gained twenty pounds! Seriously how much did you eat there?" Axel ranted.
"Enough talk! I challenge you Scrooge for my position back into the group," Donald said dramatically. "Name your game, I can beat you!"
"Wait, so you want to be stranded in the desert with all of us, as opposed to being in a fancy temple with all the food you could eat, air conditioning, and cable TV?" Jiminy asked.
"Alright then young lad, I'll take you on. Just wait here with the chicken okay Phillip?" He said as he placed the nickel in the hand of the chicken. "Now then, I challenge you to…"
DONALD THINKS Heh, you foolish old man. I know that you will challenge me to a game of Magic the Gathering. I've been training not only my voice, but I now know every strategy there is to the game. VICTORY WILL BE MINE! END THINKING
"I challenge you to… A DRINKING CONTEST!"
"WHAT? I mean, don't you want to play a children's card game with me?"
"No, I'd rather have a drink."
CURSES! FOILED AGAIN "Alright then, a drinking game it is!" Five minutes later, they were sitting at a table from out of nowhere with about fifty bottles of brandy at one end, and a shot glass in front of each of them.
"Alright then everyone, this is another chance for us," Xemnas whispered to the other organization members, "they will drink themselves into oblivion. So Roxas, you and I will keep pouring their drinks no matter what. Got it?"
"Right, BREAK!" And they move out of their huddle and Xemnas and Roxas took their places at either side of the table with a bottle of brandy each.
"Alright then, as they say in Scotland 'let's drink until the alcohol in our system destroys our livers and kills us'!"
"I thought that was Ireland-
"GO!!!"
And they began; they both were in unison with the drinks. Taking shot after shot after shot. They continued this way for several hours as the bottles dwindled away; far past what any person in reality could actually survive. Donald after a while looked very tipsy, but Scrooge looked the same no matter how many he drank.
DONALD THINKS I…can't lose to that…that, TURKEY. Yeah, he's not even worthy of being a duck…he's a freaking Turkey! I'll beat him and then…and then…hey, why am I playing again? OH YEAH, TO WIN THE MAGIC PIE! Yeah, I'll win that sweet pie, and then I'll be able to fly like a real duck! No more of this walking crap like a cartoon character, I'll be able to fly with my brethren. And we'll migrate together and…and… END THINKING
It's at this time that Donald collapses off of his chair and onto the hot sand, unconscious but somehow alive after taking 154 shots of blackberry brandy. Scrooge remained in his seat staring straight ahead of him with his stupid smile on his face.
"AND THE WINNER IS SCROOGE!" Xigbar declares. He was declared the judge of this contest because he wasn't given any other lines in this chapter. "Congratulations Scrooge…hey wait a sec!" He went in closer and looked Scrooge right in the eye. "He's not breathing…Normal things breath right?"
"OMG We killed Scrooge!" Sora declared.
"Yeah, we're bastards." Goofy added. "We'll that means that Donald won instead. We'll tell him when he wakes up."
"We should console Scrooge's widow," Sora said solemnly.
"Sora, it's a freaking quarter-
"IT'S A NICKEL AND HE SHOULD BE CONSOLED DAMN IT!"
"Okay, okay then go already," Larxene said.
Sora walked over to the giant chicken and took the nickel from him, "Oh Phillip, words cannot truly express how much pain I feel for you. I hope that in time you can get over your pain and move on to better things." He was silent for a second as he closed his eyes with his head down. After a moment he looked up and said cheerfully, "Hey a nickel!" And he pocketed it.
"YOU!!!!"
Everyone looked up again with shock as another figure came running in they're direction. It was…PETER GRIFFON! He ran to the edge of the group and he and the giant chicken stared daggers before the started beating the crap out of each other again. They at first just threw punches, but as they moved to the table and the empty bottles of liquor, they started picking up the bottles and crashing down on each other's heads with them. Then the chicken was able to get Peter to the ground and was about to crash the table on top of him, when Peter picked up some broken shards of glass, threw them in the chicken's eyes, and the chicken then tripped and fell on some more broken bottles. He then lay still. Peter got up, brushed himself off, and began walking off into the sunset. Little did he know that the chicken opened one eye to him and was teleported somewhere else to heal.
The rest of them just stared in amazement at the spectacle and were silent for several minutes afterward. Than Larxene shouted, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"I don't know," Axel commented with a raised eyebrow in the direction of the incident, "but that chicken got owned!"
"Okay, well I'm tired, let's end the chapter for now," Sora commented.
"That's for the narrator to decide," Jiminy said.
ACTUALLY I AGREE! THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!
TO BE CONTINUED…
A/N: Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this. I actually got a break from college work for a night and decided to do this! Please R&R!