Ok this is a little AU with the ages Olivia's about 34, Bayard Ellis is 36 and everyone else is around there ok? lol!
Olivia sat at her desk and took out the picture of herself and David she kept in her drawer. It was of the two of them on a carousel and they looked so happy and carefree. She hadn't been able to keep it on her desk but having it in the bottom of the drawer had always made her smile… just knowing it was there but now… now she didn't need pictures and even though she knew Nick was watching she tore the picture into four pieces and threw it into the trashcan beside her desk, what she didn't know is another person in the room was watching her tear the picture too.
"Olivia a word?" Cragen called from his office door.
Olivia nodded, closed her drawer and slowly made her way to the Captain's office.
"Shut the door." He said and Olivia frowned, he only ever did that when it was serious.
Once she'd closed the door she stood firm and crossed her arms defensively across her chest.
"Is uh, is everything ok?" He asked her softly.
"Uh Yeah why wouldn't it be?" She asked confused by his soft nature.
"Oh I don't know but I called you in here because you look like you took a knock to each eye and the second you walked in here I could smell the booze on you, being tee-total for as many years as I have the smell is much more noticeable." Don said the concern evident on his face even if it wasn't in his voice.
"I had a few last night, breathalyse me if you think I'm drunk but I'm not." Olivia replied, she wasn't in the mood for games but Don just leant back onto his desk.
"Is everything ok Olivia?" Don asked again but this time even his voice sounded full of concern.
"Yeah I'm fine, just listen to me…"
"No you listen to me." He snapped standing upright again. "Now I know you had a bit of a shock yesterday and the past couple of weeks have been tough with you finding out that you got a confession out of someone who wasn't even guilty but the point of the matter is Liv, you're a cop and a damn good one but you need to get your act together and fast."
Olivia looked downwards, she couldn't face looking at him when he looked at her so disappointed.
"Now I want you to take a personal day…"
"Captain…"
"It's non-negotiable Olivia and if you want me to force you into this and put it in writing so it marks your jacket I will. Go home, sober up some more and get some sleep." He told her.
Olivia didn't move but glared at him instead.
"Is there a problem Detective?" Cragen asked.
"Yes there is." Olivia hissed. "You may be my superior officer, sir, but that doesn't give you the right to try and judge how tough my week has been or that I need to get quote act together end quote, I'm fine, I had a few too many last night yes but who doesn't do that once in a while but like I said breathalyse me and you'll see I'm legally sober, I wouldn't have come in if I wasn't if you want to bench me because I look like hell then fine but sending me home…" Olivia rubbed her hand tiredly over her face and came to a stop, she didn't know what else to say.
Don looked at her in shock. Olivia had argued with him before but not like this, right now she was arguing against a direct order he'd issued which was one thing she hadn't ever done.
"Olivia…"
"I'm sorry." She said slowly shaking her head as she tried to regain her composure. "I shouldn't have…" Don's hand stopped her from saying anymore.
"You wanna talk about it?" Don asked softly.
"Uh no." She replied shaking her head a little further. "I'm fine." She added her voice cracking a little.
"Olivia…"
"I'll see you tomorrow…"
"Sit down." He said firmly. "Please."
Olivia nodded and took one of the empty seats while he walked around the desk and took his own.
"Something happen yesterday that you don't want to tell me?" He asked but Olivia shook her head in reply, she didn't quite trust her voice. "Something to do with what I told you about David Hayden?" Her head snapped up and her eyes met his, giving him his answer without words.
"We were together." She told him.
"For how long?" Don asked.
"Five months." Olivia replied. "Not that it matters now Don, it's over."
"He…"
"My decision." Olivia interrupted knowing what he was going to say.
"Ok." Don nodded.
"Just ok? You're not mad that I lied to you for five months? Put cases in jeopardy every time we worked with him?" Olivia asked quite angrily.
"I should be but you said it's over now so that's good enough for me." Don replied not knowing what else to say.
"Fine are we done?" Olivia asked.
"Not quite." Don answered knowing Olivia was eager to escape his questions. "What… what happened between you?"
"Uh…" Olivia wasn't sure this was a question to be having with her superior. "After you told me yesterday I met him for drinks at a bar we both like and… and I congratulated him and we talked about the fact we never disclosed our involvement and that it was too late and he said he could quit but… but I told him not too and we mutually agreed to separate and pretend the last five months never happened."
"But it's tearing you apart." Don noted.
"It was five months of my life I gave that man." Olivia replied. "I… I fell in love with him."
He could see the tears sparkling in her eyes and felt awful, he should have known that there was more than a close friendship between his detective and the EADA but he'd hoped there wasn't more because both of their jobs would have been on the line.
"Can I… can I go now?" Olivia asked in a broken voice that Cragen had only ever heard once before.
"Sure, just take the day and if you need more time Olivia let me know ok?" Cragen said.
"Sure." She replied. "Thanks."