Ch 2 What Just Happened?
Alexis just shook her head and said matter of factly, "Then why is she downstairs in the morgue with Lanie crying her eyes out because she thinks she has lost her chance at true love…with you?"
It took Rick a few minutes for it to sink in- Kate was referring to him about her true love. How could this situation be this screwed up? Rick stewed about it for a minute and the more he thought about it the more he decided that it was finally time to get everything out in the open. After tonight Kate will know exactly how he feels and he was determined to find out exactly how she felt too.
Now all he had to do was figure out how he was going to make sure this happened. Alexis told her father that he needed to take care of this and he assured her that was his intention. Rick kissed her good bye and sent her home. He told her not to wait up and he would let her know as soon as things got settled- either way. Alexis was surprised to hear of his lack of confidence- she just assumed that everything would work out between the two of them. When she questioned her father, he assured her that he was optimistic that things would work out. However, he was trying to not set himself up for more heartbreak. He knew he had to do this right. The thought of moving on without Kate Beckett was hard enough, but he knew once he experienced their love, that if he lost her then, there would be no moving on…his life as he knew it would cease to exist.
Rick debated what his next move should be. Should he go down to the morgue and drag her back to her apartment and force the discussion that he knew would change his life or should he let her get herself together and text her to setup a meeting? After have a heated conversation in his head with himself, he decided not to leave anything to chance and take the bull by the horns. As he descended the steps to the basement, Rick tried to remain calm and plan what he was going to say. But nothing prepared him for what he saw when he rounded the corner of the M.E.'s office. Kate was slumped against the wall, her eyes were closed and she was trembling. Lanie was sitting next to her and looked up at Rick and just shook her head. Rick went straight to her and scooped her up. Kate startled and when she opened her eyes she thought she was dreaming. She closed her eyes and melted into his chest and was asleep before he got to the street. Lanie followed Rick to the street and hailed a cab for them. She assured him that she would fill in the boys and make sure they finished the paperwork that the Captain was expecting in the morning. She was going to personally go to Captain Gates and tell her that Beckett needed a personal day for the following day. Rick thanked her and headed towards the cab that awaited them, when Lanie grabbed his arm and said, "Castle- think about what you are about to do. I know she is just as guilty about this mess as you are, but I don't think she will survive losing you." And with that she turned and walked back towards the 12th precinct before he could respond.
Once they were settled in the back of the cab, Rick told the cabbie her address and sat back to take in what had just happened. He wasn't sure what the rest of the night would hold for them, but he was determined that Kate would never doubt his love for her again. Kate stayed asleep in his arms the entire ride to her apartment; she didn't stir until he was at her door and fumbling with her keys. Kate must have been dreaming because she started sobbing Rick's name and thrashing around. As soon as Rick entered the apartment, he shut the door and headed for her bedroom. He laid her on the bed and sat beside her. He was caressing her face and trying to soothe her from her nightmares. After a short while she seemed to be coming to again, when she finally opened her eyes she was shocked to see that she was back at her apartment and Rick was there with her. She started to question how and why, but Rick just put a finger to her mouth to quiet her and then he leaned into her and kissed her forehead. A silent tear slid down Kate's cheek and Rick gently wiped it away. He looked deep into her eyes and told her that she needed to rest and he promised to stay with her and that they could talk later. Kate resisted the idea of going back to sleep, afraid that if she closed her eyes that this dream she was having of Rick would be lost forever. She fought him with the little strength that she could muster, until Rick finally gave in and moved back so she could sit up in bed.
Kate was still in shock. She wasn't sure what had happened and from the way she felt and the look on Rick's face she wasn't sure she wanted to know. After a minute or two of silence she whispered, "Rick, what happened?"
"You don't remember?" asked Castle. Castle cringed; he thought that Kate was retreating back into her shell, trying to hide behind that damn wall that he cannot seem to scale. Kate must have seen the emotion in his expression and asked, "What is it Castle? Did someone get hurt? Was it…. Alexis?" As soon as the name crossed her lips Kate let out a huge sob and began crying again. Rick tried to tell her that Alexis was fine and before he could say anything else she was asking about Ryan, Espo, and her dad. She was mumbling about not wanting to lose anyone else when a new fear overtook her, "It must be Lanie! I remember I was in the morgue with her! Rick what happened? Oh tell me, please."
Rick couldn't bring himself to tell Kate that she was this way because of how hurtful and inconsiderate of her feelings he had been. He wasn't ready to say it aloud, he was so ashamed of his recent behavior and he only hoped that he could tell her exactly how much he loved her before she was reminded of this last week.
Kate was still pleading with Rick to explain what happened and he saw no other way than to remind her of the events that led up to her breaking. Breaking was the only way he could describe what he saw happening to Kate today and he was nauseous knowing that he was somewhat to blame for all of this.
"Kate, Kate, listen to me. Everyone is fine, you are not losing anyone. Do you remember why you were with Lanie today?" he asked.
"Um, well I remember being in Interrogation and getting the confession," she managed to saying. But the next part was a little part of a blur, she was racking her brain when she muttered, "Lawyer Barbie."
Castle was extremely confused and thought Kate had really lost it. Kate's cheeks went red once she realized what she had just said. She could tell that Castle did not understand and she really didn't want to have to explain that Lawyer Barbie thoroughly made her blood boil. She bit her bottom lip, stalling trying to give herself sometime to think about how to explain herself.
Castle was debating whether Kate was up for the intense conversation that needed to take place between them. He considered tucking her in for the night and hoping that her head would be clearer in the morning. He thought that he should at least offer her the chance to rest. "Kate, you are exhausted and need to rest. We can talk about all this in the morning," Castle offered.
What happened next shocked Castle completely. Kate grew furious and the look of 'if I only had my gun' flashed across her eyes. Kate pushed aside the blankets that Castle was trying to cover her up with and growled, "What did I just remind you that you had better offers today? Can't get away from me fast enough? Seems that you have a whole long line of bimbos lined up and waiting! Well don't let me keep you from Lawyer Barbie, or Secretary Barbie or Flight Attendant Barbie or whoever she is! You know Castle, I can't even keep them straight anymore!"
Rick was stunned, he wasn't sure whether to laugh or yell. He knew that he deserved some of what she had said and he was not proud of his actions of late, but damn it this was not all his fault.
"Kate, would you just shut up and listen to me? First of all, there is nowhere else that I would rather be nor anyone else that I would rather be with right now," barked Castle.
"Oh really," spit back Kate, "You have a funny way of showing it!"
"I am not proud of how I have been behaving lately, but what choice have you given me Kate? What am I supposed to do when I find out that the woman I love more than life itself, knows I feel this way and she doesn't return the feelings? Not only that, but she has lied to me for the last ten months about it!"
Kate was speechless…he knew she knew- but how? But more importantly why did he think that she didn't return his feelings?