Chapter Two: The Squob
Silencio... I thought.
I hadn't expected much, if anything, to happen – but I knew this was the right wand for me. If I hadn't managed the spell, I would just aim for a few sparks like everyone else, but I was so annoyed...
There was a sudden drop in the temperature of the room, and everything went quiet. After a few seconds, I startled as the noise of the street outside penetrated the room once more. I hadn't noticed that Diagon Alley was so loud before.
"Marvellous! Marvellous! Wordless magic on your first try!" Rose was ecstatic.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but it wasn't exactly my first try," I confessed. "I always used to practise Mum and Dad's wand-movements with a wooden spoon when I thought they weren't looking."
Rose was puzzled.
"Whatever for?"
"I thought it might come in handy – if – "
I stopped myself, aware that however sympathetic Rose might be to me now, Squibs were still marginalised in wizarding society. I had been about to say, 'in case I ever had to pass for a wizard and wanted to look clever.' Impersonating a wizard was punishable by two months in Azkaban – a Dementor-less prison, but not pleasant nonetheless.
"If you ever discovered that you did have magic?" she finished my sentence for me, and I nodded, over-relieved. Ollivander smirked. Mind-reader, I thought.
We left the shop, having purchased a duelling holster for my wand, and I asked about the rest of the things on my school list.
"Oh, Merlin, you needn't worry about that," chirruped Rose happily. "You can use the school's things. They can be better quality than what you'll pick up in the shops – proper cauldrons and so forth. All that you really need worry about is your curriculum."
I had almost forgotten, in the excitement of buying my wand, about the teaching post. I had never taught before – wouldn't that be a problem?
"Oh, you won't be the only one," smiled Rose. "Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher isn't formally trained either."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
Rose shook her head. "Hardly the most dangerous thing in Hogwarts – besides, I believe that for this position it is most important to have someone who really knows the material, if you know what I mean."
"A real Dark-Wizard-fighter, not a professor?"
"Exactly." Her lips twitched, and I could see that she was puzzling over something. "Have you given any thought to your lessons at all? Your teaching, I mean?"
"I have to say I haven't. The last few months I've been planning my dissertation for third year."
"Third year? I thought Muggle third-years were about thirteen?" She coloured, as she realised she had implied I was as bad at Muggle work as I was at magic.
"No, third year of university. After school."
"Ah." For someone with a Muggle-born mother, Rose certainly took after her father in terms of general Muggle Studies knowledge, I thought.
For the rest of my holiday, I prepared for my new life in Hogwarts. I could expect to spend at least seven years there – it was going to be a huge change. Thankfully I didn't have much stuff of my own to leave behind, but I did have friends. Muggle friends. And Muggle technology. God, was I going to miss that.
No more HBO series, not even on DVD. No more silly pictures of cats. No more live chat, no more mobile phone, no more ballpoint pen, no more Wikipedia at 2am. Just the Wizarding Wireless, which spent far too much time on dramatic interpretations of the Great War against Voldemort and Quidditch coverage for my liking, quills, parchment, and Floo. I could hardly call my Muggle friends on the Floo network.
The truth really hit me when I started trying to think up my curriculum for the third-years. Not having planned a syllabus before, I turned to the Internet for resources, and realised that I was going to have to bring all my worksheets with me when I went to Hogwarts. No cloud, no Dropbox, no forums. On the other hand, I was going to save a lot of money compared to my Muggle teaching colleagues. With my wand working, I could save a fortune on photocopying with a simple Twinning Charm. No need for a laminator – Impervio would do for that. I smiled. Perhaps I would find a use for magic after all.
Nothing had prepared me for the journey to Hogwarts. Yes, I had been on a train platform before, unlike many of the first-years used to Portkeys. I had even been on a steam train when I was twelve on a school trip. Yes, I had seen marvellous castles, great cathedrals in Europe, and the grand buildings of my university. I had known all these things. I wasn't shocked, like the Muggleborn children, by Chocolate Frogs or Every-Flavour Beans.
Nothing could have prepared me for the sensation of feeling so out of place. My wonder was not their wonder. My acceptance was not their acceptance. I was not a teacher – not really; I was not really a student. I was alone.
For the first time in my life since my eleventh birthday, I really felt every inch a Squib.
The groundskeeper met the children at the platform, and I was pleased to see Rose there waiting as well. She gave me a friendly wave, and beckoned me over.
"Did you have a pleasant journey?"
"Pleasant enough," I said, "although it's funny trying to get used to reading a physical book on the train again."
My Kindle had died as soon as I stepped through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Hopefully, it would turn on again when I got it home. Hopefully.
"Well, there'll be plenty of reading to do when we start the school year in earnest!" piped Rose, not entirely understanding me. "We will be taking a Thestral carriage to the castle, with the older children. I thought you might appreciate some company, besides which we still have to introduce you to the Hogwarts wards as a new member of staff."
The carriage journey didn't take long, as Rose spent the short time telling me all about the various hazards I should look out for on my first day in the castle. Apparently my office, newly created for the slightly superfluous member of staff, was a little... recalcitrant about being used after all these years.
"Just don't sit in the blue chair, and you'll be fine," said Rose. I did not even think of asking why not. With Hogwarts, I had read, it was wiser not to know.
We arrived at the edge of the wards, and I began to have a sneaking suspicion that I had left the oven on at home.
"Just ignore it, it's trying to work out if you should be here," said Rose lightly, but I did not feel so assured.
The Headmistress drew a circle on the ground with her wand, and at a light gesture it glowed golden – as did another line, a much larger curve which I realised must be the edge of the wards.
"Do step in, please."
I did so, feeling a slight tingle of static.
"Welcome the new Muggle Studies Professor and student of Hogwarts, Audacia Willis," said Rose in a commanding tone of voice. The larger curve began to bend, snapped forward and latched onto my golden circle. Golden tendrils felt around the edges; then, satisfied, retreated back into the original bow, and faded.
I realised now that despite her cheery, irreverent personality, Rose Weasley was as gifted a witch as her mother had been. This was powerful magic. Much more powerful than mine.
Our first stop within Hogwarts was Rose's office.
"You do need to be Sorted," she explained, "but I thought that we would have a little informal ceremony here before the Feast."
"Good plan," I agreed. I sat in the chair facing the desk, and looked about. My eyes found the portrait of Headmistress Mc Gonagall, recently departed from this world as well as her old post. She smiled down at me.
"Looking forward to your first year, Miss Willis?" she asked.
"A little nervous," I admitted.
"Don't worry," trilled the kindly Scotswoman. "Many of our students find that Sorting helps them to find their feet here. Your House will be like a second family."
The Sorting Hat itself stood on its stand, looking the worse for wear, but still with the same smirkish smile playing about its brim that I remembered from the pictures in my wizarding books. Rose got up from the throne-like Headteacher's chair, and picked up the Hat.
"Is this going to work?" I asked, suddenly really apprehensive. Rose gave the nervous grin that I was beginning to associate with 'I don't know the answer, but my mother never taught me to admit it.'
"I'm sure it'll be fine," she said, and lowered the Hat over my head.
I was surprised to find that the Hat actually fitted – it was, after all, an adult wizard's original hat. Thinking about it sitting on all those children down the years had got me confused.
Well well well. It's a Squob.
-A what?
A Squob. Just my little joke.
-I don't think much of it.
Well, never mind that. Where shall I put you? Bright, yes, but somehow I don't think Ravenclaw.
-Too far behind, am I?
I was thinking more of your other traits. Even after all this time without magic, some part of you still thinks that you are better than others who have it.
-Well, maybe I am. I've had to cope without, and I actually appreciate how most of the world works. Most of the witches and wizards I know are hopelessly insular.
What a lot of big words you use, echoed the voice of the Hat in my head. Perhaps I should put you in Ravenclaw with the other show-offs...
-What's the matter with you? I thought you were supposed to be respectful of the different Houses. It's something to do with me, isn't it?
I can't help being put out, grumbled the Hat. I wasn't expecting you. It isn't natural. It isn't routine.
-It's not particularly natural to me either, I retorted. I'm going to try and make it a bit more homely though.
Yes, I thought you would try something of the sort. It looks like we're in for a revolutionary year.
-What do you mean by that?
SLYTHERIN!
This last, I realised, had been out loud. The walls of the Headteacher's study muffled the sound somewhat, but it still rang in my ears. Slytherin. Well, now I knew.
I thought briefly of my Muggle possessions, how I was already missing my Kindle, my phone, and most of all, those flickers of electricity which kept me connected to my friends. The respect I had for technology was certainly nothing Salazar would have recognised, but I did want to find a way to bring those things here, to Hogwarts. Arrogance. Ambition. Drive.
Slytherin. Well, it was a funny old world.