AN: Since you guys asked so nicely, I'm going to make this a couple of one shots of Leah and Edward's life. This is the in-laws, the lighter side of becoming part of the Cullen family.

Afterlife 'The In-Laws'

I bit my lower lip and made myself slowly count to ten before replying with a firm 'NO!' to the excited pixie vampire dancing around me as I tried to study for my exam. University was hard, and it was coming up to the finals, and having Alice Cullen bother me whilst trying to study for a major exam was; well, annoying quite frankly. I loved her to death, but she could get on my nerves like nobody else.

"Come on Leah, let me plan the wedding," Alice repeated pleadingly, shoving a bridal magazine in my face. I politely pushed it out of my way trying to focus on the text book in front of me.

"Alice, we aren't even engaged, we've been dating for all of a week," I reminded her, keeping my calm and silently cursing Edward for leaving me with her. He had gone hunting conveniently, and everyone else had enough common sense not to bother me when I was studying. Alice Cullen apparently hadn't got the memo.

"But I see the future," Alice wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, reminding me that she has already seen that Edward and I will eventually get married. She can't see me in her visions but she can see her brother.

"Well then maybe you saw me do this," I growled grabbing the ridiculous magazine and tearing it into four pieces before thrusting it to the floor in disgust.

"No fair, you know I can't see wolves," Alice pouted prettily falling to her knees beside the torn magazine.

She gathered the ripped pieces of paper to her chest then looked up at me with that face that said 'you've crushed my dreams Leah'. Okay, so maybe ripping her bridal magazine to shreds was pretty mean, but Alice had been bugging me continuously for the past three days asking me to let her plan mine and Edward's wedding. Edward and I weren't even engaged. I had a hard enough time calling him my boyfriend without blushing bright red in embarrassment. Alice kept looking at me with those puppy dog eyes and I felt myself relent. If I did get married to Edward, I knew without a doubt that I would let Alice plan the wedding. Alice suddenly went stiff from a vision, then beamed happily at me.

"Thank you Leah," was all she said, kissing my cheek then fluttering away, presumably to bother someone else.

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I gave a sigh of relief and shifted in my chair trying to get comfortable. I decided to get a coffee from the kitchen. Procrastination was my middle name. I drifted out to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. I busied about with the coffee and sugar and sat there waiting when a sweet scent billowed into the kitchen. I turned to see Jasper gazing at me intently. I raised my shoulders in a 'what?' gesture.

"You've done it now," Jasper warned me, his voice ominous and I raised an eyebrow, partly curious and partly annoyed. I had the feeling that I wouldn't be getting any studying done any time soon.

"Done what?" I queried and Jasper pointed upstairs and I could hear the sounds of feet, and Alice talking excitedly.

"You've let her loose," Jasper informed me and I smiled, thinking the way that Jasper referred to his wife was amusing. Like she was a rabid dog that I had let off a leash.

"And?"

"You're going to wish you were engaged just so you could get the wedding over with," Jasper gave his prediction shaking his head and I had to laugh.

"Alice isn't that bad Jasper," I assured him but Jasper but was completely serious.

"Uh huh, you'll see," he warned me, and then he patted me on the shoulder and left the kitchen. I frowned after him. Jasper had always been a little weird but we got on well. He was actually freaking me out.

Calm down Leah, its Alice, she won't do anything horrible, I told myself pouring the water into my coffee then milk. I stirred my coffee then I carefully returned to Carlisle's study where I had set up my study area and sat down.

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Giving a deep sigh I returned my eyes to the text book and prepared myself for a long couple of hours. I was no more than ten minutes into studying when I heard someone calling my name.

"Leah!"

Nessie barreled into the study, her brown eyes bright with excitement. The look on her face told me that she wanted to talk. Now was not a good time. Plus, a lot of the time when we spoke the conversation drifted to Seth, and how great Seth was, and what a wonderful kisser Seth was. I seriously did not need to know that my little brother was a good kisser.

"Hey Ness, I'm kind of busy right now," I told her gesturing to the mountain of books on Carlisle's desk but Nessie completely ignored me coming to perch on the desk. Nessie had convinced the family that she didn't need to go to university, and whatever Nessie wanted she usually got. She and Seth spent their time hanging around together while the rest of us went to school, lazy bastards.

"I want to be your maid of honour," she announced determinedly and my jaw dropped.

"What?"

"The wedding, I want to be your maid of honour, you are marrying my dad after all," Nessie reminded me grinning widely and suddenly there was a flurry of blonde as Rosalie ran into the room. Dear God, Alice had set them both on me. Jasper was right, I had unleashed Alice.

"Hang on, if anyone is going to be her maid of honour its me," Rosalie interrupted staring Nessie down, then she turned her eyes to me and raised an eyebrow expectantly, "Right Leah?"

"I'm her step-daughter to be," Nessie retorted importantly pushing Rosalie a little so that she could stand closer to me. They were both standing over me.

"Well I'm her best friend," Rosalie countered Nessie proudly and they both turned their eyes to me, willing me to tell them who I wanted.

"I'm not even engaged!" I protested, not wanting to make these decisions right now. I wasn't even engaged for god's sake!

"But Alice said..." Nessie frowned in confusion and Rosalie shrugged not understanding either. Damn Alice! She had given them the impression that Edward and I were engaged and actively planning a wedding. She was crafty one, Alice Cullen, I'd give her that.

"I merely decided that if I was to get married to Edward, Alice could plan the wedding," I explained and both Nessie and Rosalie seemed disappointed. I felt kind of special that they were so disappointed that I wasn't engaged to Edward.

"Oh."

There was a silence and I returned my gaze back to my books thinking that this was the end of the conversation but it was far from over, I could tell because the two girls were still standing above me. I gave up studying for the moment and looked up at them enquiringly.

"But I'm maid of honour when you do get married right?" Rosalie persisted, fluttering her eyelashes at me innocently. I rolled my eyes and decided to retreat to the kitchen and maybe grab some snacks. The two followed me closely.

"No way," Nessie retorted grabbing my hand as we walked begging, "Please Leah, pick me."

I stopped in the kitchen and turned to them. I had had just about enough of this. All this fuss for a wedding that wasn't even half way officially yet.

"If you two don't leave me alone I'm not going to pick either of you, I'll pick...uh…Bella," I growled at them in frustration, meaning every word. I didn't care how weird it would be to have my future husband's ex-wife as my maid of honour, Rosalie and Nessie were driving me insane.

"Oh no Leah, sorry but that would be way too weird," Bella commented airily walking to the fridge and taking out a mountain of food. We all eyed her strangely, since she was a vampire and didn't eat food, and when she noticed she shrugged, "Jacob's hungry."

With that Bella turned and left the room, stopping to drop a kiss on Renesmee's cheek and both Rosalie and Renesmee's eyes turned to me expectantly; waiting for my response.

"Can we talk about this when I do get engaged?" I asked helplessly and Nessie shook her head, adamant that this would get sorted today.

"When you get engaged? So you do want to marry my dad," Nessie grinned knowingly, then she turned to Rosalie and winked, "I bet it's just because she wants to have sex with him, dad is kind of a prude like that, no sex before marriage."

"Leah you dirty, dirty girl," Rosalie joked lewdly and I felt my face blush red with embarrassment. How had this conversation turned to my sex life?

"What? No..." I tried to back out of the conversation and out of the kitchen but they both blocked my escape, big grins on their faces.

"So you don't want to have sex with him?" Nessie queried her face mischievous because she already knows my answer. Who in their right mind would not want to have sex with Edward Cullen? I shook my head.

"I do...I just..." I again tried to escape but they blocked me.

"She does!" Nessie crowed delighted, though why she would be delighted to know that I want to have sex with her father was beyond me.

"Well then you will have to marry him, I know Edward; he won't give you special cuddles until you're married," Rosalie told me wisely, tapping her nose and I huffed and folded my arms under my chest, hating how they kept thinking they knew Edward better than I did.

"If you must know..." the words faded away on my lips as I vaguely became aware that I was about to reveal that Edward and I had a sex life to his daughter; albeit fully grown daughter, and his sister for all intents and purposes.

"Oh my god, they've already had sex," Nessie gasped to Rosalie in shock, her face turning paler than usual.

"That explains why you're in no hurry to get married," Rosalie chuckled nudging my shoulder playfully and I pushed her back.

"I'm in no hurry to get married because we've only been dating for a week," I reminded them in exasperation. Just because Edward and I had been close friends for years everyone assumed our relationship was more advanced than it actually was.

"But you've been friends for three years!" Rosalie protested, disappointed by my lack of wanting to marry Edward right away.

"And you've been fornicating already!" Nessie added her two cents in and I rolled my eyes. Fornicating, really, who used the word fornicating nowadays?

"Being friends and being a couple is completely different," I explained, dutifully ignoring Renesmee's fornicating comment. Edward's daughter had a very dirty mind, I hope she hadn't corrupted my innocent little brother.

Edward and I had actually done the deed the night we decided to get together, which was my birthday. Best birthday present ever. Nessie bit her lip thoughtfully, and then grinned like a demon. I didn't like the way she was smiling.

"Hey, if you aren't married but allowed to have sex, then I can too," Nessie cheered happily and I had to do a double take at her.

"What?"

"Dad made me and Seth promise that we wouldn't have sex until we were married, but now dad can't be angry because that makes him a hypocrite, I gotta go," Nessie turned and ran from the kitchen screaming, "Seth!"

"Nessie wait!" I tried to call her back but it was fruitless. Nessie was long gone; off to seduce my poor unsuspecting brother.

I dropped my head to the kitchen table with a loud bang. Edward would kill me when he found out I'd basically given Nessie permission to bang my brother. Gross. Rosalie was quiet for a couple of moments.

"So I get to be your maid of honour right?" Rosalie asked hesitantly and I turned my head to the side so that I could glare at her.

"Right."

Rosalie beamed happily and hugged me before she ran off screaming to Alice. Alice…I would get my revenge one day.

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Jasper walked back into the kitchen, a smug smile on his face. He came to gloat, I just knew it, and so I braced myself.

"I told you so," he quipped satisfied with me being proven wrong and I grabbed the nearest item which happened to be a vase and threw it at his head. Jasper moved out of the way with that smile on his face and the vase hit the wall next to him shattering.

"Can't you do something?" I asked hopefully and Jasper shook his head.

"It's too late."

"You are no help," I dismissed him and Jasper just laughed and disappeared. Damn vampire just came to laugh at my misfortune.

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I retreated back to the study, sure now that I would at least get some work done. I was wrong, yet again.

"I heard that you and Edward are having sex."

Emmett Cullen stood in the doorway to the study. I gave him a withering glare, which should have translated into, 'stop talking or you die' but Emmett didn't seem to be on my wave length.

"So I bought you a present," he concluded slapping a wrapped present onto the desk beside my books. I eyed the present wearily.

One thing to know about Emmett Cullen; beware of him buying you a gift. It was almost always something that you never wished you had. I slowly unwrapped the paper to reveal a hard cover book. I stared at the title incredulously.

"The Karma Sutra?" I read in disbelief and Emmett grinned wickedly.

"My favourite positions are page 13 and page 42," he told me winking lecherously and I dropped the book onto the desk.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little," I muttered massaging my forehead, wondering what the hell the Cullen's had been smoking lately.

Emmett grabbed the book eagerly and flicked through the pages expertly. Someone sure knew their way around the karma sutra.

"Edward will love these, actually he might like page 24 as well," Emmett paused to show me page 24 and I stared in shock. I couldn't speak.

"What I like most about page 13 is the closeness, you almost feel like one person, its incredible, and I've added some notes on the side that are improvements," Emmett pointed out his notes and that was just about all that I could stand.

"Emmett...get...out...of...here...before...I...decapitate...you..." I said this slowly, with as much venom in my voice as possible. To his credit Emmett didn't let my words get to him. He just smiled widely and pointed at the book.

"Thank me later," he commented winking then he ran full speed from the room before I had time to follow through on my promise.

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Finally peace and quiet. I pushed aside the Karma Sutra and began to focus on the text book and I was about thirty minutes into studying when there what a knock at the door.

"What now?" I growled in annoyance and turned to see Carlisle and Esme standing in the doorway and I flushed with embarrassment and quickly added, "Hi guys, sorry I thought you were your kids."

Carlisle and Esme sat either side of me, their arms wrapped around each other. I loved Carlisle and Esme; they were the sweetest couple. Esme was always cooking for us, and Carlisle was always a friendly ear if I needed someone to talk to. I was studying to be a doctor and Carlisle had been very helpful with my studies. Edward helped me a lot as well, having been to medical school a couple of times in his long life. Esme looked over at Carlisle, nodding with her head for him to start. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

"We were just speaking to Emmett and he mentioned that you and Edward were possibly thinking about taking your relationship further, in a physical sense," Carlisle began quite calmly, his face completely serious. I could not believe what I was hearing; Carlisle and Esme were giving me the sex talk.

"Now we know that you are both adults but we just wanted to make sure that you were both being safe," Esme added, her voice sweet and caring while I mentally promised myself that Emmett would pay for this dearly.

"Condoms are always a fairly safe contraceptive, but if you want the pill I can get you a prescription for that as well," Carlisle offered genuinely serious and I gave a small smile nodding hoping that this would be the end of the sex talk.

"Now as for the act itself, foreplay is very important when beginning sexual intercourse," Esme continued innocently and I nearly choked on my own saliva. I couldn't believe Esme; sweet, motherly Esme just said foreplay. It was like imagining my mom saying foreplay; it was just so, so wrong.

"A man should always make sure that the woman is ready before…" Carlisle was about to go further into pleasuring a woman, but I couldn't take anymore.

"Stop!" I held up my hands and admitted sheepishly, "Ok, you guys are seven days too late."

"Oh," Esme said, a little surprised. Did no one think Edward would try and have sex with me before we were married? I was a very desirable woman.

"Well just be safe," Carlisle placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and I gave a mocking smile.

"I get it, yay for condoms," I pumped my fist in the sky and Carlisle chuckled. Esme leant over to kiss my cheek, her vampire smell tickling my nose a little. Carlisle gazed down at the mountain of books on the desk.

"Studying are we?" he asked pleasantly and I sighed deeply.

"Yeah, it's been taking me all day."

"I don't remember reading these materials when I went to medical school," Carlisle quipped picking the Karma Sutra and Esme hid a giggle behind her hand as I extracted the book from Carlisle grinning.

"Well foreplay is very important Carlisle," I advised him in a posh English voice and Carlisle grinned wrapping an arm around Esme's shoulder.

"We'll leave you to it," Carlisle kissed my forehead fondly as he and Esme retreated from the study. I groaned and collapsed onto the desk. I missed Edward.

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I smelt Edward as soon as he entered the house and he must have sought out my scent because he came directly to the study to find me.

"How was your day?" Edward asked dropping a cool kiss on my lips and when I just glared at him Edward smirked, "That good?"

"Alice somehow tricked me into letting her plan my wedding to you, even though we aren't engaged, which led to Rosalie and Nessie fighting over who gets to be my maid of honour, which led to talk about us having sex, which led to Emmett describing all his favourite positions to me in great detail, which led to a safe sex talk with Carlisle and Esme, and the worst part is I didn't even get any studying done!"

Edward laughed as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly to him. His fingers stroked my hair lovingly.

"You've had quite a day haven't you darling?" he murmured to me, his silky smooth voice almost patronizing and I didn't appreciate it. Then I thought of the perfect punishment to pay him back for being so damn amused at my misfortune.

"By the way, my brother and your daughter are quite possibly fornicating at this point in time," I informed him casually and Edward jumped to his feet.

"What?"

Edward raced away, probably to save his daughter's virginity and I chuckled to myself grabbing the Karma Sutra book that Emmett had given me. I flicked to the first page; done that. Second page; done that. Third page; ooooh that looked fun. I earmarked the page for future reference and smiled to myself. So this day wasn't a total waste after all.

AN: our marriage counselor who was a sweet little old lady, probably sixty years old, she actually said what Esme said to Leah. She actually said foreplay. I nearly peed myself trying to hold in my laughter.

So review if you liked it!

Also if there was a moment in Leah and Edward's like that you would like to see let me know and I will see what I can do. I already have the wedding…which you all knew was coming so don't act so surprised. I figured I should probably do the proposal as well since that comes before the wedding but let me know if you would like to see anything else.