Disclaimer: Still don't own Lost! It's a shame. Also, I must mention DiorNicole, without whom, this story would not exist! This was one of her entries into the Lost Secret Santa Gift Exchange! Also, there's quite a bit of violence in this chapter, so just a warning regarding that!

In the outskirts of Milwaukee, on the classier side of town, one house stood out from the rest.

That isn't to say it was unique in any fashion. The red brick, split-level was well groomed, with neatly trimmed bushes lining the path to the door and creating a sort of fence around the yard. A swing set built of weather-worn pressure treated lumber stood in the backyard, waiting for grandchildren to play upon it.

Yet, there was something off about the entire ambiance of the house. Perhaps it was the empty garbage can at the end of the driveway days after trash pickup, or the pile of newspapers that was quickly forming, or the five inches of snow that had not been shoveled from the porch. Alec Demain's home would have caught the eye of any careful observer.

Three days had passed since he'd made an appearance outside his home. Mr. Groves, two homes down, had watched him park his Benz on Friday evening, unlock the door, and turn on the lights.

The lights were gone now, and Demain had not reappeared.

The quasi-disappearance would have been questioned, if he hadn't been such a cynical, ornery bastard, despised by most. A geneticist, and a radical geneticist at that, he'd nearly killed half the cul-de-sac with a gene splicing project gone awry. Not to mention the numerous government personnel keeping tabs on him, constantly treading across their freshly cut lawns.

Had his neighbors taken the time to investigate, they would have found that good old Alec was at home. But no one checked.

And that was precisely was Benjamin Linus was counting on.

o O o

"I told you! I don't know anything about Widmore!" Demain screamed, writhing on his basement floor as he received a swift kick to the stomach. Bloody and bruised, he was nearly unrecognizable.

Swiftly, Sayid Jarrah picked him up by the collar, knowing inherently that he looked intimidating in dim light that streamed from the lone bulb in the ceiling. To him, this felt different than it had in Iraq. There was no guilt here. This was business, the sole purpose of his existence.

"You worked for the Dharma Initiative. I know you sold out to Widmore. I want the story. Now."

"I've held out this long, what makes you think I'll say anything new now?" Demain struggled to throw a punch, just as he had twelve hours ago, when this interrogation began. Sayid braced himself, holding the old man firm. He could see the matted blood in his white hair, the swollen skin that had puffed up, nearly hiding his eyes.

Respect your elders, Sayid. Nadia's voice resonated through his mind. It seemed so long ago…

Don't think about that anymore, Sayid. That's once upon a time now.

"I know where your ex-wife is, and your children. If you do not tell me what Widmore knows, I am sure I can get the information I want out of them." His voice never wavered from the calm tone. There was no emotion- there never was.

"You wouldn't," Demain gasped, making a feeble attempt at a headbutt.

"Watch me," he replied with a final shake, watching the man's head rattle back and forth like a bobble-head doll.

"FINE! I slipped the Dharma secrets to Widmore. I created the poison that should have killed the Hostiles, and the Initiative. We were supposed to take 'em all out in one shot. And I was the one who paid the price when Ben took over. It's was the seventies, he promised me drugs and women- why the hell would I refuse? And you know what? That son-of-a-bitch never paid up! Are you happy now? Are you gonna leave my family alone?"

"Quite happy," Sayid muttered, slowly processing the information. "And your family will be fine. You on the other hand…" He held the gun steady, the weight in his hand nearly nonexistent. It was all too familiar a presence, the steal eternally warm in his palm. "Any last wishes?"

"It's Christmas, you stupid bastard. Have some pity," Demain begged, his eyes widening.

"That means nothing to me," he heard himself calmly reply. Pulling the trigger without hesitance, he watched the bullet enter Demain's chest. Twenty seconds passed, thirty. Sayid watched as the man twitched, struggling for air. It was surrealistic, an out of body experience.

Then there was no more movement, and the basement was still for the first time in hours. The gun slipped from his hand, clattering against the ground. As he observed the carnage surrounding him, he tried to remind himself that there was a purpose. This was for revenge, and to protect those who remained.

You are insignificant. You are nothing. Happiness is impossible, survival is all.

What have I done?

"What you had to do, Sayid." Ben answered the question, strolling down the stairs into the basement. Sayid was certain he had not asked the question aloud, but with Ben, one could never be sure of that.

Typical. No phone call, no e-mail, he just knows that the job is done. How the hell does he do this?

"What do you want now?" was his frustrated reply.

"To make sure the job got done."

"It always does. I have not failed you yet." Silence fell over the room. Sayid couldn't wait longer. He needed to know.

"Who is next?"

Ben looked puzzled. "It's Christmas, Sayid. Even Widmore takes a break on Christmas."

"This is why we should keep moving. Take him by surprise while he's distracted. Think of the ground we could gain."

Don't make me think about the past, he added silently. Every inch of the home he and Nadia owned was filled with memories, and when he wasn't there, he would find himself thinking of Shannon on the island, basking in the sunlight as she tanned…

Not anymore. Never that. It was easier to kill than to dwell on the past.

"We will resume after Christmas," Ben said firmly.

"Oh yeah, like you have something to go home to. You never had anything or anyone!" Sayid growled, angry that he would be left to remember. .

"Someone's irritable," Ben mocked, moving back up the stairs where he had entered.

"Oh yes, indeed. Bah humbug," he muttered sarcastically in return. This was absolutely ridiculous.

"No more until after Christmas Sayid. I suggest you go home and pull yourself together." Ben climbed the stairs into the upstairs hall.

No, he is not leaving that easily! He bounded up the stairs behind him, but found that Ben was gone. Every damn time.

o O o

The shower was tempting, as he walked into his Los Angeles home after the three hour flight. Though he had bathed at a hotel in Milwaukee, the feeling of blood soaking through his clothes had not yet left, not to mention the constant heat the California sun seemed to beat down on him.

Sayid was distracted, however, but the flashing red light of the answering machine. Now what? More telemarketers? Just what I need. Preparing himself for his own personal hell of listening to sales pitches, he pressed the play-all button.

"Sayid? Sayid, I know you are there, please pick up." The voice was light, with a heavy accent, and clearly frustrated. "It's Sun. Listen, I know what you are going through. Believe me, I know better than anyone. Do you think it is easy going on without Jin? To raise Ji Yeon without her father? You cannot isolate yourself. We're all in this together- every one of us. And we need to know… I need to know, that you are not going to do something stupid."

"That is beside the point. I did not call to berate you. I will be in California with Ji Yeon. Desmond and Penny have invited all of us to take Christmas dinner with them on the boat. I have spoken to Jack and Kate; I'm a bit worried about them. I think little Walt may even come. He needs someone to watch over him now… Please come, or at least let Hurley know. He would not take my call. Sayid, we need to be together. Live together, die alone, right?"

The answering machine beeped, and was then silent. He felt the anger growing with in him. What right does she have? What gives her the right to say I am a danger to myself, that I should move on from my grief? I have lost both of the women I loved; she lost her half-estranged husband. How dare she—

The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He took a deep breath, calming himself down. "Hello?"

"Thank God!" the woman's voice sighed, clearly relieved. "Sayid, it's Kate, thank God I reached you. I need your help."

"Kate, I--"

"It's Jack, he's drinking again, heavily. And I found pills in his bag, vicodin. He doesn't have a vicodin prescription. He keeps traveling between here and Thailand, hoping the plan will crash. I think he's sleeping with another woman there. Sayid, I don't know what to do! I'm afraid he'll do something to Aaron, that he'll take him away from me. My baby is sick, and Jack wants to take him away from me! Oh God, Sayid you can't let him do that!" Her voice broke into a sob.

"And what do you expect me to do about it?" he asked coldly. He wanted nothing to do with that life anymore. They were rescued, free from the island, while Shannon's corpse rotted in a desert tomb, waiting for a proper memorial. What right did they have to complain?

"I just… I was just hoping that you would talk to him. Please, he's always listened to you, Sayid. We need you now!"

"He's your problem now Kate. You chose this life. No one chose it for you."

"You… you can't do that! Live to—"

"ENOUGH! Enough with that insipid phrase! We're all on our own now, Kate! This isn't the island anymore. This is the real world. You and Jack need to get out of your little delusion. Aaron isn't your son, he is Claire's child. Jack needs rehab, not another trip to Thailand. And you, Kate. Someone is going to see through your lies one day, and everything we've worked for will be destroyed. I hope you'll be happy then!"

Slamming the phone down, he grabbed the keys to his car from the side table, hoping a drive would clear his mind. As he left the house, he didn't bother to lock the door- what did it matter?

Seating himself in the red corvette, he pulled out of the driveway, and pressed down on the gas. Hard.

Sun's message had mostly left his mind when he found himself pulling up the long driveway to the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute, where Hurley resided. Though he had already made the decision not to attend the little Christmas festivities- he'd never celebrated before anyway, and, really, what was there to celebrate- it would be unfair of him not to inform his good-natured friend.

Shutting the door of the car, he braced himself to face the past once more.

o O o

"Dude, seriously?" Hurley asked, moving his knight to take out the pawn of his opponent. "Three of them?"

"Oh most definitely mate!" Charlie replied casually, swiftly retaliating with the queen taking the knight. "Three of them, tonight. Sayid's going to be stopping by in, oh, like ten minutes. You've got to pass the message on to him. Give him a bit of a heads up!"

"But why? Sayid's one of the good guys!"

Charlie smiled, running a hand through his hair. "I think he needs a bit of a reminder of that. He's losing himself, mate. Losing his perspective. And he's going to need it very soon. All of you will."

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough!" Charlie laughed, moving his queen again. "Checkmate."

Hurley looked down on the board is disbelief. Looking up, he found that Charlie was gone.

"Hurley!" Sayid had entered through the sliding glass door from the activity room, the pretty, red-haired nurse showing him the way. He saw the other man squint in the harsh sunlight- it seemed to be perpetually sunny here in Santa Rosa. Not that it bothered him. There had been too much rain on the Island.

"Hey man! You just missed Charlie!" Ushering Sayid into the formerly occupied seat, he watched the look of disbelief pass over his face. "What's up? You don't come here as often as you used to."

"I… I just want to pass on some news to you. If you can get out for the day, Desmond and Penny will be docked in San Francisco on Christmas Eve, and you are invited to join them. Sun will be there with the baby, as well as Kate and the others."

"You going, dude?" he asked.

"No, I will not be. I do not wish to live in the past." Hurley could see that Sayid was lost in his grief, bringing some sense to Charlie's words. He was twitching, shifting about, clearly uncomfortable.

"That's all?"

"That is all. I must… I must return home now. I had a long weekend. Good-bye." Sayid stood, beginning to walk away.

"Dude! Dude wait!"

"What is it Hurley?" Sayid asked impatiently. He was never like this on the island. Never like this before Nadia and Shannon.

"When Charlie was here, he gave me a message I had to pass on to you."

"Hurley, I don't think…"

Sick of not being taken seriously, Hurley didn't even allow Sayid to start giving his opinion. "No. You're going to listen this time. Charlie said that you're losing perspective. That if you don't realize that you're falling apart in your grief and anger, that we're all doomed. Three ghosts are going to visit you on Christmas Eve, to make sure you don't keep going down this path."

"You are joking," he replied, tense.

"Dude, Charlie said so!"

"It's a hallucination Hurley! A damned hallucination! There are no ghosts, and there is no Charlie!" With that, he left, pushing aside another patient in his anger.

As he watched him leave, Hurley though he would be upset at Sayid's anger, but he couldn't be. This was not the man he had known and grown to admire on the island. This was a wholly different person, completely broken down.

"He didn't buy it, did he?" he heard Charlie ask.

"Nope."

"Well, we'll see how he feels on Christmas Day," Charlie replied with a smirk. "Up for another round?"

"Most definitely!"

A/N: Okay, so Sayid's pretty much a bastard, which is upsetting, because we all love Sayid. But that's ok, because we have three ghosts that will bring back the man we adore! Next chapter brings the Ghost of Christmas Past! Any guesses as to who?

Special thanks to those of you who reviewed- Ed Westwicker and DiorNicole! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always greatly appreciated and used! All the best -Jac