Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I wish I did!
Huge thank you to DarkBard0 for helping me with this chapter, and doing a kick ass beta. Also, a thank you to everyone that reviewed, it means alot :)
Chapter this way!
CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM
The bright light blazed through the open window, right in to Emily's eyes. She stirred, tightening her hold around the body next to her. Slowly coming to, she gradually opened her eyes, giving them time to get used to the harsh light. Having them finally fully opened, she extracted her arm from around JJ's waist, turning on to her back. She could hear the shallow breaths coming from the blonde, the sounds she made when she was still asleep. Deciding that she needed to get as much sleep as possible, she very slowly sat up, making as little movement as possible.
Swinging her legs round over the bed, she gasped quietly when she saw Henry sitting there just staring back at her with his big, beautiful eyes. He had his thumb in his mouth, a habit he did when he was nervous about something. Still sat on the bed, she leant forward and stroked her hand through his blonde hair. Emily smiled gently, as he removed his thumb and smiled up at her, and she couldn't help but smile back.
After everything that had happened in the few days before, she needed to stay strong for Henry and for JJ. Standing up, she went to her closet and changed out of the clothes she had on the night before, in to some sweats and a t-shirt. Coming back out, she lifted Henry off the floor and on to her hip, giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead. She glanced at the clock, and saw that they had slept for over eleven hours. No wonder Henry had come to find them. Leaving JJ asleep, she walked down the stairs and out in to the kitchen.
"Me din't wanna wake you."
Henry said around his thumb, as Emily placed him in his high chair. She went to the cupboard, and started to warm up some porridge for him. She ran her hand through her hair, as she waited. She almost laughed, as the brunette heard Henry banging on the tray. Now heated up, she turned round with a grin and placed the bowl and a spoon in front of him.
She took a seat next to the counter, as she just watched him eat. It astounded her at how quickly he was growing up. At the start of the year he was only saying two or three word sentences, and now he couldn't stop babbling to them about all sorts. His vocabulary had gotten a lot bigger, and herself and JJ had to be careful what they were saying. He was picking up every little thing. Just last week, Emily had heard him say 'hunk of chocolate' when he saw Morgan, copying what Garcia had just said.
He never stopped moving, he was always running around the house. He was just a little ball of energy, and sometimes Emily found it hard to keep up with him. But when they came home from a hard case, the little boy was exactly what they needed to remind them of the good in the world. He had his little tantrums of course, like every other two year-old, but it was nothing either of them couldn't handle.
When Will had him, every other weekend, Emily found herself missing him like crazy. Apart from JJ, Henry was the light of the brunette's life. She treated him like he was her own, and Henry didn't treat her any different than he did JJ. Emily was just glad that there wasn't much of Will in him, it was all JJ. His beautiful eyes and his magical smile was all her wife. But it also made her want for another baby even stronger; she wanted to see a child with her and JJ's features.
A clatter of a fork on the floor, pulled her out of her thoughts and she jumped off the seat to pick up the fork seeing that Henry had finished. Giving him a kiss on the hair, she took the bowl from him and popped it in to the sink. Coming back, she lifted him out, placing him on her hip.
"Let's go and get you changed, and then we can play, okay?"
"Kay!"
Henry replied excitedly, as Emily let him out of his high chair and set him down on the floor, and followed him back up the stairs. He liked going up the stairs on all fours, and then coming back down sliding on his bum. He waited at the top of the stairs for her.
An hour later, Emily found herself on the family room floor, playing with Henry's toys and the little boy. She had been in to check on JJ a number of times, and each time she had been asleep. The brunette hadn't had the heart to wake her, so left her there. She needed all the sleep she could get after the last few days, and the profiler was more than happy to keep Henry entertained.
A knock on the door startled her, but not Henry as he quickly ran to the front door.
"Ask who it is first!"
Emily shouted, as she stood up and watched over the couch as Henry asked who it is. She didn't hear the answer, but he reached up to open the door so she knew that Henry knew the other on the other side of the door. The brunette was a little shocked when the door opened to reveal the whole team. Henry was soon in Garcia's arms, and they all followed the quirky tech in to the family room, and Emily saw that Henry had ended up with Morgan.
One by one, they gave her a hug, even the never-smiling Hotch, until she had Henry passed back to her. She motioned for them to take a seat where they could, as she sat down, the little boy sat on her lap, his thumb finding his mouth again. He wasn't shy, but groups of people seemed to make him nervous. She gave his temple a kiss, and looked to the rest of the team, who had scattered themselves round the room. Judging by Garcia's face, and the others, they had no idea what had been happening.
"Henry, why don't you go and play in your room? I'll come and get you in a minute."
Emily said softly, and he looked up at her with the saddest eyes she'd ever seen. He had no idea what was going on, but he would soon. She just didn't want to tell him in front of anybody else, and she didn't know whether JJ wanted to tell him.
He nodded slowly, and slid off her lap, picking up the blanket he always carried with him, and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. Emily watched him as he went, before turning back to everyone else in the room. Garcia, who was sat next to her, grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed gently. The brunette could feel all eyes on her, and she hated it. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself, before speaking.
"I guess you all want to know what's been going on..."
Taking a gulp, she met the eyes of Morgan, her best friend on the team. He had always had her back, and she had always had his. He was the big brother she never had, and she knew he was there for her for anything. He would be distraught just because she was.
"Take your time, girl."
Morgan said, and she gave him a slight smile as she nodded. The brunette felt Garcia tighten the hold on her hand, and she took the comfort that the gesture held. Looking down at the floor, she let a lone tear fall down her cheek, before quickly wiping it away with her free hand. She hated to be seen as vulnerable in front of anyone.
"Well, I know that Garcia told you that JJ has been in the hospital for the last few days, and I'm sorry that you couldn't come and see her. But it was too hard, and she wasn't really up for any company."
She looked back up to be met with understanding looks. She sighed in relief, glad that they hadn't been mad about not being able to see the press liaison. Emily knew they had tried, and that they had phoned the hospital, but JJ hadn't wanted to know anything.
"JJ lost the baby."
Emily spoke so gently, that the rest of the team struggled to hear her. But they did, and all there was silence. No-one knew what to say, so Emily carried on explaining.
"She more or less had to go through labour, because she was past the four month stage. I've never seen her so devastated. She's hardly said anything since it happened, and I don't know what to say that could help."
Emily stated as she let the tears fall this time. Morgan stood to come and give her a hug but she put her hand up in gesture, telling him that it was okay. He sat back down, and Emily looked to Garcia who also had tears in her eyes.
"How are you doing, Emily?"
Hotch asked, and the brunette turned to her Unit Chief. She hadn't really been thinking about herself, all she was focusing on was JJ and making sure that Henry was happy. The profiler knew that if she thought about it too much, then she wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning. She would be tied down with the devastation, and everything else that came with it.
"Honestly, I'm just doing the best I can to stay strong for JJ and for Henry. That's all I can do for now. I just wish I could take away just a little of her pain."
Emily said honestly, as she looked down at her hands. She hated being the centre of attention; it always made her feel uncomfortable. And crying just made that feeling even worse. She couldn't break down, and she refused to in front of JJ. She could feel everybody's eyes on her, and she looked back up to meet everyone's gaze.
"You have your own pain too, Em. It's okay to let it out."
Morgan sympathised, and the brunette nodded, wiping her tears away. She felt Garcia's arm wrap around her shoulder, and Emily leaned in to the side embrace.
The next half an hour, they spent away from the subject of the baby, and instead talked a little about the case that the team had been on while JJ had been in the hospital. It made Emily feel guilty, that they had left the team two members down, but they had seemed to manage okay and for that the brunette was grateful.
A few minutes before Garcia had gone to get Henry from his room, while the profiler stayed to talk to the rest of the team. She noticed that Reid had been extremely quiet during the whole thing. But Emily knew that he and JJ had a close bond, and he was hurting because she was. The brunette just wanted to rewind the last few days, and find that nothing had happened. Find that JJ was still pregnant with their baby, and Henry was still going to be a big brother. It had all disappeared in a matter of hours.
Emily couldn't help but smile, as Henry came running in to the family room. He jumped in to her lap and wrapped his arms around her neck, as he gave her lips a quick kiss. The brunette grinned, as his Godmother walked in looking thoroughly exhausted, after just spending a few minutes with him. The two year-old boy laughed when Emily kissed his face all over. Being a mother was the best job in the world.
Climbing off her lap, Henry went to play with his toys on the floor, and Emily saw that every member of the team had a huge smile on their faces. All except Hotch who was looking at her.
"You're a wonderful Mother, Emily."
The profiler could feel the heat rising up her neck, and she smiled, mouthing a 'thank you' to her boss. Things had not been great between the two of them when she started, but he had done so much for herself and JJ. She couldn't wish for a better boss, he looked after his own.
It turned silent, as they all watched Henry playing with his toys. The little boy liked to talk to himself when he did, and they were all enchanted by him. He wasn't going to stay the sweet little boy for much longer. Emily was just relieved that so far they had avoided the terrible two's.
They were all pulled away from Henry, as JJ suddenly appeared in the doorway. She was pale, and she had dark eyes, she looked exhausted. She stood there looking at everyone, her arms across her chest. Her hair was pulled back loosely, showing everyone just how tired she really was. Her wife had gotten changed, Emily noted, and by the looks of it had had a shower. Garcia stood up and walked towards her best friend, wrapping her arms around her, but JJ just kept her arms crossed not reciprocating the hug.
Garcia stepped back, as she ran a hand down JJ's arm. The quirky tech came back and took her seat next to Emily again. The liaison came forward, and took a seat in the empty seat that was left, curling up as her legs came up against her chest. Her head resting on her knees. Emily met her gaze, but she could no longer see the sparkle in the blue eyes that was usually there.
"Baby, do you want something to eat?"
Emily asked softly. The brunette could see that JJ had turned her attention to their son, but she was obviously paying attention as she shook her head.
"Drink?"
She asked again, and she got another nod. Emily frowned, her wife needed to have something. JJ hadn't had anything since she had left the hospital, and she was weaker anyway. But she couldn't force the liaison to eat or drink something, but she could keep trying, and she would.
They all returned their attention to Henry who hadn't yet noticed that JJ had entered the room. No-one seemed to know what to say, and Emily found herself getting increasingly uncomfortable. She wasn't the type of person who would ask people to leave, besides she appreciated that they had come to see how they were and find out what had happened. They were a family, after all.
A few minutes later, Henry turned to say something to Emily, but grinned as he saw JJ sat there. Standing up, he ran towards JJ who had to put her legs down and hold out her hands to stop him from running in to her. The blonde gently lifted him on to her lap, and Henry gave his Mom a kiss on the cheek.
"Hello Mommy!"
JJ didn't reply, just gave her son a kiss on the head. He cuddled in to her, and Emily saw her wife wince slightly, but hid it from Henry. He gently slid off her lap, and turned round putting his face right by her stomach. They all held their breath as Henry spoke.
"Hello baby!"
He squealed, and he leaned forward and gave her stomach a kiss. Emily could feel the tears forming again, and stood up when JJ immediately stood up and walked out the room. The brunette went after her, following her up the stairs but when she got to the bedroom she got the door shut in her face. Leaning against the door, she slid her hand down it as she started to sob.
Defeated, she walked back down the stairs not even trying to stop the tears. Everyone looked at her, as she walked back in the family room, and Morgan stood up, engulfing her in a hug. Emily clung to his t-shirt, crying in to his shoulder, as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. The brunette let the sobs rack through her body. Later she would feel ashamed that she had cried in front of everybody, but for now she needed to get it out.
Calmed down slightly, Emily pulled back but not before giving Morgan a kiss on the cheek. She looked towards her other teammates, and she was met with nothing but understanding looks.
"Where's Henry?"
She whispered, seeing that he was no longer in the room. She looked towards Garcia wanting an answer.
"He ran up to his room, after JJ left. We're going to leave you to it now."
Emily nodded, whispering 'thank you' as it would allow her to talk to Henry. He was no doubt upset that JJ had just walked out of the room, and she couldn't blame him. He had no idea what was going on, which wasn't fair.
They all stood up, stopping to give her a hug as they left. Garcia was the last, telling her to call if she needed anything. She walked them out, before heading back and up the stairs to talk to her son. Opening his door, her heart broke when she saw him lying on his bed, crying his little heart out. She quickly made her way over, joining him on the bed and taking him in her arms.
"What wong with Mommy?"
He said, struggling through the tears. Emily knew he had been so excited about being an older brother; he had constantly talked to JJ's stomach. Every so often it had hit JJ's hormones and she ended up crying her eyes out, the only difference was that was out of happiness. Henry had been there when they had chosen her name. He had helped Emily choose the colours for her nursery. How was she supposed to tell him that he wasn't going to be a big brother anymore? She just had to be honest with him, that's the best she could do.
"Mommy can't have the baby anymore."
"Why not?"
Emily sighed softly, looking down at her son who was looking right back up at her. She tightened her hold around him, and let out a big breath.
"She lost it."
She stated simply. Any more detail, and he wouldn't understand. His thumb went to his mouth, but Emily could see more tears were falling down his face. The brunette lifted him on to her lap, wrapping his legs around her waist, so he faced towards her. Leaning forward, the brunette kissed his tears from his cheeks.
"Does dat mean me won't be big brover?"
The profiler wasn't quite sure how to answer that, so she just shook her head, hoping her understood. He obviously did, as he put his head on Emily's chest, and one of his hands grabbed on to the front of her shirt. All Emily could do was hold him and keep hoping that she would be able to pull her family through it.
CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM
I love reviews more than I love cookies! And that's a hell of a lot...so please review and make a crappy day a better one :)