A/N: Nope, I'm not dead. Or an inferi. Or a sparkly undead vampire. I just haven't updated in ages. Not weeks, or months–ages. Whoops? Luckily I have tons of scenes written for 'adventures' at Hogwarts, so the chapters should be coming muchmuchmuch more frequently after this.

I've just been busy with the end of the semester, and meeting J.K. Rowling and Harry and the Potters. Nope, I'm not joking–I've been living the fangirl's dream :D

Not to worry, the last chapter's end note about there being no pop culture references was tongue-in-cheek. But as a lovely reviewer pointed out, I overlooked mentioning the Muppets: the horror, the Horror! Like I could write this fic without any BOOM chacalakalaka BOOM chacalakalaka BOOM action...

General Disclaimer: If I was J.K. Rowling you'd be waiting years between updates. So count your blessings!

13. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

- Or a Granger. Especially a Granger.

"-the most fascinating specimens! Father's theory was correct: the Snorkack only comes out to the call of a niffler." Luna Lovegood nodded sagely, though the effect was somewhat ruined by her dreamlike tone. "They do share a common interest of shiny things. I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner, it's so obvious in hindsight." The radish earrings bobbled as the girl brightly beamed.

Mrs. Weasley poured the tea while ruminating how best to respond. She decided that the simple and evasive would be best. "That's nice dear. Ginny will be down in just a minute. Milk?"

"Milk? Weren't we having tea?" Luna blinked, her grin transcending into a dreamy smile. "It would be nice to see Ginny, but I'm actually looking for Harry."

"Harry?" The older witch froze, only just managing to not drop the tea kettle. Perhaps she should get the twins to run interference. Goodness knows she'd only contemplate involving those two as a last, desperate resort but–oh. Wait, no, not her twins anymore: the thought struck her like a rampaging hippogriff. Forget dropping the tea. She felt her knees buckling as her ankles and legs and muscles and body weren't enough to support the truth. The blasted reality had once more snuck up out of nowhere: the vision of her sweet, incredible boy, lying there as if asleep. Still with a laugh on his petrified lips.

Mrs. Weasley's hands trembled as she clumsily sat down. She was too busy keeping herself under control to notice or care. "I'm sorry, but Harry isn't feeling well. I know my children and Hermione have missed you-"

"I'd like to see them too." Luna gazed at Molly's pale features with a soft understanding. "But also Harry. Especially Harry. You see, he has a rather awful case of wrackspurts and I'm not sure if Hermione knows the cure."

"...wrackspurts?" The older woman was gratefully happy for a distraction, no matter how odd. "And Hermione?"

"She is rather narrow-minded." The blonde Ravenclaw shrugged good-naturedly. "Yes, wrackspurts. Harry has a whole head of them and he has to learn to embrace them!"

"I see. I think everyone would be open to trying something new. Anything really." Mrs. Weasley took a shallow sip of her tea. Distantly, she knew she wouldn't even be considering this if the situation wasn't so desperate. But after the past few months...she set down her cup with a shiver just as a particularly vehement curse resounded from upstairs. The Weasley matriarch looked up, decided that it wasn't quite a bloodcurdling scream of terror, and stirred some more milk into her tea. "Anything that doesn't involve target practice, that is. No sugar in your tea as well?"

A maniacal laugh split the air, failing to make either of the women jump.

"That would be George." Mrs. Weasley warily sighed. "I'm thrilled he's finally recovering from–from May. But I do wish there were less explosions."

"That's his coping method." Luna peered at the ceiling with a curious look. "Hermione mentioned she was trying some potions on Harry?"

The older witch looked down sadly. "Yes, but she's only casting a few cheering charms at the moment. That's why you might want to wait to go up, dear. We're just waiting for Madam Pomfrey–another of her patients fell into labour early–before starting the actual potions."

Another trill of laughter echoed throughout the house. They didn't pay much attention to this; not so much out of apathy as for the fact that it corresponded with hundreds of bumblebees suddenly appearing throughout the Burrow's kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was instantly on her feet, wand raised and tea flying.

"Impedimen-" She cried but her arm was yanked down, making the spell fly into the floor.

"Don't hurt them!" Luna exclaimed, before she leaned forward to examine one of the bees. "They aren't attacking. They're just, floating." Sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, she took her wand out from behind her ear and gently tapped one of them. She was met with a fizzle of magic. "They aren't real."

Realising that the young Ravenclaw was correct, Mrs. Weasley lowered her wand just as a cold, soft prickle fell on her nose. She looked up at the forming cloud in disbelief. "Is that–it that snow?"

But Luna's attention was arrested by what had just appeared in front of the door. "SQUAK!" Came a chirp and the girl couldn't help but giggle. She walked over to the doorway and picked up the small animal.

"Hmm, we really have to get these wrackspurts out of his head." Luna said while poking her new friend's snout. Mrs. Weasley nodded in stunned disbelief, and as the snow started bursting amidst Weasley Whiz-Bang Fireworks both witches rapidly made a beeline for the hallway–pun absolutely intended.

"Knock knock." Luna said happily, walking through the bedroom's doorway with a crown of snow on her head. A disheveled Mrs. Weasley came in next, snapping the door shut behind them and a string of buzzing. Only then did she relax and stow her wand. "I brought Harry's new friend!"

The teenagers froze as they took in the three newcomers. This gave Mrs. Weasley ample time to examine her charges. First off, Harry looked no worse than last night. Skinny as ever and in desperate need of a haircut, but his grin told her that at least some of the cheering charms had worked. There was a glazed look in his eyes; she frowned at this and bustled over. She cupped the boy's chin in her hands and took in his absent expression with concern.

"Hermione," Mrs. Weasley put a hand on his head to feel his temperature. "how much power were in the cheering charms?" There was no answer. She turned around and was met by nervous shuffling from the brunette.

"We thought, I thought," Hermione was particularly tongue-tied, something which seemed especially out-of-character for the intelligent young woman, "I'd read everything about it. I knew how to monitor him, I swear I'd done all the research. Madam Pomfrey had the emergency pregnancy to go to and I, I couldn't wait, I wanted to have my brother back!" Her voice grew in pitch and nervous, excited anxiety as the befuddled explanation want on.

George let out a burst of laughter, leaning against the chest of drawers. "What, what she means mum," he struggled to catch his breath, "is that Harry's high on potions. Which is too good! Why didn't we ever think of this? It would've been all too easy to dose pumpkin juices in Hogwarts. Merlin, the opportunities lost–"

Harry blinked, going cross-eyed as he tried to look at the idly bemused Luna, the rambling George, the increasingly angry Mrs. Weasley, and the squawking penguin at once. "What's Fluffy doing here?"

Molly's tirade at a pale Hermione halted as concern crossed her features. "I'm sorry dear? How do you feel–any pains? Confusion? Oh, how could you kids be so careless!"

"Nah, I'm fine." The boy-who-lived gave a boyish smile. Molly tried to stiffle her sniff of sadness; this failed miserably. "But Fluffy's here!"

Ron blinked, before looking around cautiously and taking out his wand. "A cerberus again? Mate, please tell me you're hallucinating."

"Again?" Molly turned her narrowed eyes to her youngest, gulping son. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, what is this about a cerberus?"

"He's not hallucinating." Luna said dreamily and held up the animal in her arms. "This must be Fluffy. That's a very nice name, Harry."

"So Fluffy isn't a cerberus, good to know." George said, his chuckle refusing to cease. "Now, why are you two and Luna's new penguin covered in snow?"

"Harry." Luna said simply, setting down Fluffy the penguin with a plop. "Accidental magic, I expect. First there were oddly peaceful bees, then snow for Fluffy, then Fluffy herself. Oh, and some fireworks for entertainment."

"That's, that's enough dear." Molly said faintly as Harry absently nodded to Luna's explanation. "Ron, Hermione, come with me so I can floo Poppy. Ginny and Luna keep, keep Harry out of trouble. George–"

"I'll keep them company." George hopped onto the bed with a grin that, for once, reached his eyes. They all chose to ignore the bag of brightly coloured candy which seemed to appear in his hand out of nowhere.

"Mum?" Ron questioned before being yanked with his girlfriend out into the hallway and down the steps. As they entered the kitchen–still cluttered with snow–the teenagers were met with Mrs. Weasley's patented sabretooth tiger glare.

"This is what happens when you don't think!" Mrs. Weasley said exasperatedly the moment the door was closed, clearing off the tabletop with an annoyed twist of her wand. "What in Merlin's name were you thinking? Hermione, I thought you were smarter than this. If I hadn't seen him with my own eyes I never would have thought that ... what in Merlin's name possessed you to try this yourself?"

Hermione bit her lip and scrambled to find an answer. For there was really no logical reason why she–who was definitely not a trained medical expert–had done this by herself. The problem was that she hadn't been paying attention to logic at the time. Rationality was far from her mind and all she could remember thinking was that she'd failed Harry, something was terribly wrong and she felt awful, useless and so stupid. The only way to make things work was to turn to the library, to find a solution, to fix it all. Because she always fixed everything and this was not going to be the one time she failed!

She opened her mouth as explanations swam to the front of her mind–of the tent and isolation and her brother-in-all-but-blood in pain and she had to get it right because there was no one else–before realising with a sudden stop that Mrs. Weasley would have no idea what she was talking about. Thankfully, Ron's laughter finally paused and he came to her rescue.

"Mum, we're talking about Hermione." Ron said with a roll of his eyes. He gave his girlfriend a glance of sympathetic understanding which countered his otherwise joking attitude. "After we tried everything else she knew that if she read enough books she'd find the right answer. So she did and we're fixing things." A loud squawk and manic laughter came from the hallway.

"That is 'fixing things'?" Molly asked in exasperation.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a helpless glance, even though the latter was trying hard not to grin. "Erm, yes?" The brunette squeaked. "The dosage is a bit off but if it's adjusted-"

BOOM!

A flaming cartwheel swirled into the kitchen, letting off loud sparks and colourful blasts before fizzling out on the ceiling. It was to the occupants' credit that they barely jumped in surprise.

"-I'll fix the potions with Madam Pomfrey when she comes." Hermione finished weakly. "But, but I'm sure the accidental magic will wear off soon. He'll eventually tire himself out. I think. Probably."

"I think it's more like wandless magic." Ron shook his head in amazement. "That, plus George slipped him a Patented Daydream Charm. That probably had an odd reaction to the potions, come to think of it."

"But he'll listen to Ginny." Hermione pointed out in desperation, ducking as another firework swept into the room.

"George is encouraging this?" Mrs. Weasley cried out, pulling out her wand to vanish to ensuing fire. "It's wonderful he's acting like himself, but is this really the time?"

Ron shrugged as a grin pulled at his lips. "He thinks it's hilarious. Which, you can hardly blame the bloke. Don't know why you two and Ginny are so upset!"

Hermione pivoted to glare at her boyfriend. "Oh, why would I be upset? Maybe because my best friend is out of his mind? Or wait, maybe it's because his magic is up to George's and Luna's whims! Take your pick."

"It's not their 'whims'." Ron tried to argue while hurriedly stepping away. "Harry's just, erm, highly suggestible right now. George is probably trying to get ideas for new inventions, Luna'll get him to create some imaginary beast, and Ginny will..."

His sentence trailed off as he dramatically paled. Without another word he rushed out into the hallway, grabbed his bewildered best friend, and unceremoniously dragged him into the kitchen. Harry blinked at the sudden scene change.

"Ron?" He said puzzledy as Ginny and George rushed into the room after him. Luna trailed in at a more leisurely pace, Fluffy padding away right behind her. "Why am I here? I was getting rid of the wrackspurts with fireworks."

"You can do that later." Ron put his arm over Harry's shoulder and pulled him to the other side of the table from his sister. "For now just stay away from Ginny. Trust me, it's for your own good."

"Excuse me?" Said sister growled, her fingers edging close to her wand. "I've been trying to stop this insanity while you've been laughing, and you want him to stay away from me?"

Hermione bit her lip in amusement. "Erm, Ginny? Ron thinks that Harry is 'highly suggestible'."

"He is." Ginny kept her angry stare on her brother. "So?"

Mrs. Weasley crossed her arms and sent similar narrowed eyes her youngest son's way. "He thinks that you would take advantage of the situation. Honestly Ronald, your own sister: I know I taught you better than that!"

Ginny looked even more confused. "Wait, what?"

Luna finally tuned into the scene. "Ginny, Ronald worried you would get your boyfriend to snog you senseless to entertain the nargles and Fluffy."

George spontaneously burst into hopeless chuckles and canary feathers.

A/N: This is primarily a filler chapter. But I have the next batch of updates just about ready to go and they're pure comedy :D