Yay! I'm on chapter two thanks to the one reviewer that I had, my little brother (Who only helped me because he wanted to make fun of the Bleach characters) and my friends Alden, Jess, Nick, Matt and Lazur at school. We managed to do all of this in one day!
This chapter is my (late) Christmas present to everyone. Happy Holidays!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, or any other copyrighted things that may be mentioned in this chapter.
DO NOT ATTEMPT! You just might be frozen for the rest of eternity.
Fifty Or More Ways To Annoy Bleach Characters
By Kouzumi93
Chapter Two: Hitsugaya Toushiro
- Call him short.
- Sneak some sake into his tea.
- Lock all of his desk drawers.
- Go to an amusement park and try to get him on the rides that have height requirements.
- Burn all of his paperwork.
- When he is about to go to the world of the living, 'notify' him that he must go to the elementary school instead of the high school.
- Tell him that his gigai is taller than he is.
- Put candy all over and all throughout his desk.
- Replace all of his paperwork with magazine pages that advertize toys, candy and platform shoes.
- Glue his chair to the floor.
- Replace his writing utensils with pink crayons.
- Put glue in the ink pad when you are forced to put the utensils back.
- Ask him if he likes being short.
- Tell him that he needs to lighten up.
- Run up to him frantically and tell him that Hinamori has joined Aizen.
- Better yet, tell him that she's dead.
- Tell him that Ichigo has more talent than him.
- Slyly notify him that Ichimaru was a genius too.
- Shrink his clothes, gasp and exclaim that he has gotten taller.
- Start to blow bubbles in his face, then tell him that he must join you because all of the little kids in the world of the living blow bubbles.
- When Christmas comes, buy him tons of toys, candy and a few pairs of platform shoes.
- Then hide the presents in his desk and all over the office.
- Take his desk and replace it with a television.
- Then turn on children's cartoons.
- Take the batteries out of the remote and glue it to a table.
- Make sure all of the buttons on the television are broken.
- Except for the volume up button.
- Laugh as he struggles to turn the TV off, but it only gets louder.
- Run away when he smashes it with Hyourinmaru.
- On his birthday, run into the office and drag him over to the wall where there is a height ruler.
- Measure his height by the tips of his hair, and exclaim that he has gotten taller.
- Then lower your hand to the actual top of his head, pout and say, "Nope, you shrank."
- Then run away before he can do anything.
- If you happen to come across a drunk Matsumoto in the middle of the night, direct her into Hitsugaya's room.
- Dress him up in a leprechaun outfit, then demand your pot of gold.
- When he asks you why you have dressed him up as a leprechaun, tell him that you thought he was one, since leprechauns are so short.
- Then ask him if you can have some Lucky Charms.
- Take Hyourinmaru from him and tell him that he must be over four and a half feet tall to handle a weapon.
- Or better yet, tell him that he must be taller than Hyourinmaru to have it back.
- Throw a party in his office while he is trying to work.
- Replace his bed with a baby carriage.
- Turn his office into a nursery.
- Give him a quarter and make him sit in one of those kiddie rides outside of stores.
- Sneak baby food into everything that he eats.
- Replace Hyourinmaru with a wooden stick and tell him that he's not old enough to have a real one.
- Put a sign outside the meeting hall that says 'You must be this tall to enter.'
- Make sure to put it just one or two inches above his height. (You can't put it too high up, because Soifon is only four inches taller and you DO NOT want to piss her off by mistake,)
- Put plastic wrap across the door to his office.
- Put a demotion letter in plain sight on his desk. Tell him that he is being demoted because he is too short to be a captain.
- Tell him that watermelon is illegal in the Seireitei, and that he'd better throw out all of his before someone tells on him.
Well, there you go. Some of them are kind of stupid, and yet have an aura of funny around them as well. I hope everyone had an excellent Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or any other holiday that they celebrate!
Next chapter will be: Abarai Renji. Leave me reviews with ideas for Renji. I'm having trouble with him, and am only having him next as a request by my friend Alden.
Note: Wow, these chapters are pretty short! Not even one thousand words, but it probably will be once it is posted, since fanfiction has a way of somehow adding a bunch of words to a chapter. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I like it!