kripke owns all characters, all mistakes are my own

no sex yet guys, but it's coming! eek!

Chapter 1: the hidden treasure of heaven

Castiel's perspective

I let myself sleep on the smelly motel bed, and I dreamt of terrible things. The worst of which was a severe pain that kept coming back with no warning. It was strange. I was trapped in a small dark space and something sharp or hot… maybe both, kept stabbing or tearing at my essence, keeping me weak. I couldn't move enough to fight back, my arms were pinned to my sides and my wings were bound tight against my torso with what felt like leather straps. Just as it seemed like I was going to die, the door would open and I would be blinded by a bright light. I blinked hard and held a hand up in front of my face to hide my eyes from the glare. One of my brothers would show up and shove my hand and whatever body part I had managed to get out of the door, and slam the metal cage back shut. I would writhe against my bonds and scream and try my hardest to beat the door back open, only to start getting stabbed by the weapons again. I felt such a terrible loss of hope. Surely this could not be a place in heaven… but my brothers were indeed there. I felt the hand of Raphael in particular as I was shoved and packed back into the box. What is this place? I woke with a jolt, like an electric current hitting my vessel.

Needless to say it was a fitful sleep.

When I sat up, I noticed that Dean had showered and Sam had returned with a pizza and freshly cleaned clothes. It had grown dark outside. Dean eyed me warily, still brooding on whatever I was feeling. It was strange to have Dean not trusting me. Usually it was Sam who was more disbelieving. It hurt. I stretched my arms and back out, thus making my wings rustle quietly. To disguise the noise I reached for a slice of the greasy pizza.

I watched the brothers do what they're best at for a while. Sam sat on his laptop, nursing a beer and reading about whatever new thing they thought could lead them to Crowley. Dean had turned his attention back to the TV. He watched some errant drama show. Soap operas, I believe they are called.

I focused inwardly, chewing idly on the pizza. I did not require food, but sometimes I liked to eat for no other reason than it grounded me. I could hear faint outcries and disturbances of my siblings in heaven. They were still working to repair the damage I had done, and God had returned out of nowhere to heal or make whole several of the angels I had killed in my stupidity. I couldn't help but sit here in shame as I watched them work, and yet here I was sitting in the company of my human charge and his brother in a dingy motel, eating pizza. I was commanded to stay with them, until heaven called me on my temporary and mysterious visits. I found myself infuriated by the fact that I couldn't remember the being who called me there. I remember a woman's voice, and her name being Naomi, but I cannot recall her face or what she asked of me. Except to stay with the brothers and always be at their side.

I realized a second too soon that my brow was furrowed in concentration when Dean slid his gaze to me.

"Okay, Cas," he said, pulling me out of my reverie. "one more time. What is wrong? What is going on up there that you're so concerned with? Are you all here?" He threw an arm over the back of the couch, turning his torso to face me. Sam looked between us, confused.

"Dean I have already told you. I do not know. For some reason I can hear… disturbances. But I can't focus on them. They are keeping me down here."

"So what, your mojo is off? You're still an angel right?"

I sighed. "Yes, I still have my wings and Grace. But I can't communicate with anyone in heaven. It's disturbing."

The brothers sat in silence for a minute, stewing over this information.

"Why do you keep flashing in and out? Like your attention is elsewhere for a minute and then you snap back?" Dean asserted. I shrugged.

"All I can tell you is what I have already told you," I said flatly. The only thing I held back was my nightmares. The Winchesters were no prophets; they could not help me discern the meanings of my dreams. Who knew if even the boy Kevin could? There weren't exactly books on hacking the content of angel dreams.

Drawing in a deep breath, I pushed off of the bed. "I am going to clean up…" I let my speech trail off as I made my way to the bathroom. They thought I was going crazy again. Let them… I was too tired to care at the moment.

I never really washed this body. If I got dirty, which was a rare occurrence on Earth, I generally just made myself clean with my Grace. But I felt like the flow of hot water would do my tired vessel some good. I was feeling more and more human since my return. I did not lie to the brothers, I was every bit the angel I was before I became god-like. But I was just so very…burnt out. I was tired of going. There was nothing for me anymore.

I turned my wrist, making the water go on full heat, and tripped the shower trigger. Taking off my vessel's overcoat and suit, I started to feel the effects of my bluff with Crowley. I'd never let the boys know it, but I was still slightly weak from it. When i was naked, I turned into the mirror, realizing exactly how much Heaven had healed me in my return from Purgatory. There wasn't a scratch or bruise on my vessel, and I know I hadn't healed myself. When I got back I was too weak to even call Dean properly, let alone fix myself. I watched the mirror start to fog up, covering over my reflection. My wings were visible in the fog and I rustled them, stretching slightly, happy to have them back in such full force. After I was brought back and before purgatory, they were present but very weak. I couldn't fly except maybe a few feet, a mile at the very most. There was nothing physically wrong with me.

I stepped into the hot shower, stepping forward until my shoulders were directly under the water stream. I felt the muscles relax as the heat seeped into my skin. It was wonderful. I should do this more often.

I needed to focus, and it seemed that the shower is where most humans do their best thinking. So I decided to give it a whirl. I focused all of my being on heaven. I needed to know, needed just one of my kin to answer me, recognize my call and give me some answers since I could not travel there except when called.

What I received was not expected.

I fisted my hands against the wall under the shower head. A face was staring back at me, a female face, and yet I could not place her. Her name was escaping me, no matter how I tried to grasp at it. I was given the distinct feeling that she had been erased. An angel that was hidden; purposely obscured from view. Why would an angel be shielded from other angels? Not since Lucifer was cast out had someone been exiled from us.

As I came back into myself, I shook my head, not knowing how to categorize the situation. Why was she answering me? Was she the cause of the rustlings in heaven? I couldn't answer any of these questions.

Suddenly, I was taken to my knees in the shower, the stream coming down on my skull. My ears were ringing so loud that my vessel's eardrums burst and bled. It was physically painful; what was this? I saw a brief flash of the same woman's face behind my eyelids as the sound pounded in my ears and my vessel's skull felt as though it would crack open from the pressure inside. The sound suddenly stopped as if a switch got tripped, and I noticed that the water beating down on me had turned cold. Standing, I shook my head hard, rinsing the blood from my ears off of the sides of my face. I watched the drops his the swirling water in the bottom of the shower, and when I was satisfied that I had gotten it all off, I remembered the brothers. Had they heard the noise? Were they okay?

I spun the water dial, turning off the shower and throwing back the curtain. Forgetting my clothes, I wrapped a towel around my waist and ran out of the door bathroom door into the main motel room.

My face must have betrayed my alarm, because both of the brothers jumped up and took a few steps toward me, hands raised in my direction. I stopped dead in the center of the doorway to the hall where the bathroom was, looking around the room with narrowed eyes. I had stopped just short of an angel trap that the boys had drawn into place since I had ducked into the bathroom. They had left me enough room to walk around it, but if I got in it I would be stuck. It was insurance, I assumed. Something was here, or was trying to come here, I could sense that much. And it was so powerful; stronger than Crowley for certain, maybe even matching Michael.

"Uh, Cas?" Dean said cautiously. "What's going on?" his face was distorted with curiosity and concern.

"I…I'm not sure Dean." I told them that I thought I heard a noise in the shower, and came out here to make sure that they were safe. They seemed to buy it. I turned back to the bathroom to get my clothes. While I was in there I heard a knock on the door. Probably a pizza being delivered, I thought as I pulled on my vessel's trousers and undershirt. I walked back out into the main room, and stopped still at the scene.

The female I had seen in the shower incident was standing in the center of the room. Sam was unconscious on the floor next to her feet, and Dean was in the corner of the room with his favorite silver gun trained on her, ready to shoot. The figure turned to face me fully. There was something…familiar in her face. I couldn't place it still, but I had a draw to her that I had never felt before. I wanted to know her, and wanted to know why I felt like I should have never forgotten her.

Dean pulled the trigger, and a bullet streamed toward her head. Without breaking my gaze or even blinking, she turned the bullet into dust and the particles swirled around her. With a flick of her wrist, Dean's head slammed against the wall against which he was pressed, and he fell to the floor unconscious.

As I stood there half dressed and confused, she stepped toward me, through the angel and demon traps that the brothers had drawn under the rugs and on the ceiling. She was caught in neither. But I distinctly felt that she had come here from heaven, and was a creation of heaven itself. What was she?

As the woman stopped before me, she whispered,

"Hello, Castiel." As I opened my mouth to ask her who she was, she pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. I watched with widened eyes as she moved those fingers up to my forehead. Not knowing if she was about to burn me from existence, I slid my eyes shut and unwillingly sank to my knees before her. She maintained her fingers pressing into my forehead, and a swirling vision came to me. She was so powerful; no wonder I felt her presence emanating from heaven even when I was blocked from all others.

I was taken into another time and dimension, swirling before my eyes as I remained kneeled on the floor of the motel.

please R/R! i need direction and feedback!