A/N: The idea for this particular short story occurred to me while I was in science, even though science and cake have no relevance whatsoever. Sorry for its choppiness, I kept having to put it off due to school work.

Summary: A compilation of short stories recounting the events of some Death Note characters and the utter nonsense and wild mischief they create during their spare time. Warning: Serious OOC-ness. Crack.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. All credit rightfully belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

Don't Try This At Home, Kids

Story Two: That's What You Get

L stared at the cakes as if he were about to slide open the little door and reach inside to grab them and then attack them with his mouth. Light on the other hand wasn't enjoying himself as much as L obviously was. One of the reasons was because they were handcuffed, and they were in public. He had lost count of the amount of weird and disgusted looks he had received while they had walked side by side to the little cake stall they were currently inside.

God, it was a pain being dragged everywhere with little to no notice beforehand.

Before they had left the hotel, L had suggested that they go for a walk because he "hadn't left to go outside for a long while," and because "it's good to go out for some fresh air every now and then, especially when you're working on a case as heavy as the Kira case." L then proceeded to smile at him in an annoyingly childish manner with his thumb between his lips.

Meaning, they were supposed to only be on a short walk, but somehow, that had turned into a mission for cakes.

"Yagami-kun, what do you think about this one?" L pointed at a cake topped with strawberries and small whirls of cream.

Light glanced at the cake with disinterest. "Honestly, Ryuzaki? I don't really care. Can't you just buy a cake already? We've been looking for hours and my feet are tired."

L looked up from the cake at Light. He was disappointed that Light didn't seem to understand the patience one had to possess when it came to decision making, especially when it came to cakes. But…his hastiness gave him all the more reason to believe Light was indeed Kira.

L smiled impishly. "Patience, Yagami-kun. If you are patient, then we'll be at the hotel before you know it."

Light sighed in defeat and tugged at the handcuffs despondently. How did L manage to get his way so often? But anyway, it seemed as if he would just have to wait it out.

Another hour had passed, but they were still walking from cake stall to cake stall and Light's will to control his temper was wearing extremely thin.

"Ryuzaki, I'm telling you that it can't take this long to pick out something like a cake. Just hurry up and buy one!"

L looked over his shoulder at the younger man.

"I'm doing just that at this moment…you didn't need to yell."

Light was relieved as he watched L accept the plastic bag with the cake box from the cashier.

For god's sake, it had taken a lifetime just to buy a stupid cake. Never did he want to go for a walk with L again.

Light watched L with annoyance as the detective monitored Misa in her room for any suspicious behaviour. He thought it was absurd that L suspected them of being Kira and the second Kira – how could they be if they couldn't even remember killing others?

L glanced at the person next to him, who he had momentarily forgotten. His eyes travelled to square, white cake box a few metres from Light, then back to said person.

"Yagami-kun, I'm sorry to trouble you, but do you think you could cut me a slice of cake? You may also cut one for yourself if you would like."

Light frowned. "Why don't you do it yourself? Geez you're lazy."

"I'm keeping an eye on Misa Amane…and I'm craving some cake, so I would really appreciate it if you did the kind favour of cutting me a slice."

Somehow, L had the ability to look at numerous things around him simultaneously, so he noticed the exasperated and murderous expression Light had as he cut two slices of cake.

Light placed a slice on a plate which was stacked upon a pile of other plates along with a silver fork, and slid it towards L.

"Thank you."

Light rolled his eyes as he placed his own slice on a plate and stabbed a fork into his cake and brought the piece to his mouth.

L watched Light curiously as he chewed and swallowed and then plunged his fork into his cake again. His eyes narrowed as Light repeated the action over and over.

"Yagami-kun…if you don't stop roughing the cake, I will have to ask you to step away. You see, there are many rules when it comes to cake etiquette, such as holding your fork like this," L demonstrated by holding his fork in a delicate manner...even though that was how he held everything.

"You ought to learn them yourself, Yagami-kun. I believe you would benefit greatly because every cake you eat from then on will blow your socks off! So if you're interested, I could recite the rules to you and, therefore, change your life."

L stared at Light with big eyes that were wider than normal, expecting a speech of admiration, but Light only gave him a long weird look.

"...I'd rather not, Ryuzaki."

Stab.

L frowned. "Yagami-kun, I'm warning you."

He placed his thumb between his lips and gazed at Light thoughtfully as he ignored him.

"You realise that because of your rough handling and impatience…the percentage of you being Kira has gone up by four percent. Also, it's rather fascinating that your expression reminds me of a killer – or rather a murderer like what I imagine Kira's to be like."

He then proceeded to happily stuff cake in his mouth as Light gaped at him incredulously.

L smirked inwardly. Well, what could he say? The cake didn't deserve Light's – no, Kira's bad treatment. It was Kira who kept violating the code of cake-eating, and L had to put a stop to it.

And that's what you get, Yagami-kun.