Warnings: Accidental sexual contact and swearing
By the time Kakashi had finally pulled his happy ass out of bed, it was 11. He smirked as he looked at the clock, imagining how cute his kohai must look waiting for him at the Hokage office, that all-too-familiar expression of mixed irritation and reverence (though Kakashi didn't think the younger man was aware of the second) plainly etched on his face. He looked forward to the way that he knew Tenzo would turn to him and berate him for making him wait for hours and waste his day off, etc. And of course, Tsunade would just smirk in the background and nod sagely as Kakashi was reprimanded by his subordinate. He chuckled lightly at the scene that awaited him as he bustled about his apartment, getting ready for their meeting.
He took his time walking to the Hokage's office, one hand in his pocket, the other holding Icha Icha in front of his face so no one would talk to him. In reality, he hardly ever actually paid attention to the storyline while walking. He mostly just used the book to make people leave him alone so that he could be alone with his own thoughts wherever he went. Today, he was taking advantage of that by imagining his kohai's face growing more and more furious with every minute that dragged by, Tsunade tapping her fingers impatiently on her desk while he knew she was secretly glad to have an excuse for a reprieve from the paperwork Shizune was always shoving at her. He smiled to himself.
When he did arrive at the Hokage's office, he knocked once on the door before letting himself in. His eyes scanned the room and quickly took in that Tenzo was not present. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Where is Tenzo?" he asked Tsunade, before he had even greeted her.
Tsunade looked up at him with a smirk. "Well, good morning to you, too, brat."
"It's nearly afternoon," Kakashi said drily. He glanced at the clock, and sure enough, it had just struck 11:48. "Where is Tenzo?"
Tsunade laughed lightly. "He'll be along soon. You see, you and Tenzo work well together, so I want you to continue as a good pairing. However, your constant tardiness drives him bonkers. So, when I told you I wanted to see you at 8 am, I lied. I knew that even you wouldn't dare be more than four hours late to a meeting with the Hokage. I actually wanted to see you two at noon, a fact that I relayed to Tenzo." She smirked, clearly proud of herself with this little stunt.
Kakashi scowled. He hated being played, and was a little upset with Tenzo for not telling him. He could still be in bed right now. He didn't actually have to show up until 4! He put on a fake crinkle-eyed smile and was just about to start plotting his revenge when the door swung open behind him. He turned to see Tenzo walk in, who smiled brightly at seeing that his senpai was already here. Tenzo was already starting to like Tsunade's plan. This was a nice change of pace from the usual.
"Alright, now let's get down to business." She gestured to the chairs in front of her, but both men opted to stand. They weren't really men who liked inaction, and instead stood and wandered the room as they gave their report. When the report was completed, Tsunade cleared her throat, and her voice went quiet. "Now, I have something else to talk to you two about. Please sit down." She again indicated the chairs in front of her, but it was clear that this time, sitting was not optional.
Kakashi's eyes narrowed, and he and Tenzo exchanged a look. 'This couldn't be good,' they said to each other with their eyes. Still, they sat, and Tsunade smiled that neither of them seemed to be in a particularly resistant mood. "Now, you two have both been in our ranks for a long time, and have done a lot of good for our village. And I hope you know just how much we all appreciate all that you have done, all that you have sacrificed for our village."
Kakashi watched Tsunade, his eyes narrowing even more with each compliment and mention of their sacrifice. They both had already figured out that either Tsunade had bad news for them, or they were about to get sent on a very dangerous or crap mission. Kakashi knew that Tenzo was already starting to get concerned, but that the man was too polite and too professional to say anything. "Cut the crap, Tsunade. What's going on?" Kakashi asked curtly.
Tsunade sighed. "Well, I have something I need to discuss with the two of you. And it's not going to be pleasant."
Kakashi just made his face stony and unreadable. "What's the mission?" he asked.
Tsunade shook her head. "No mission this time."
Kakashi nodded. 'Bad news, then,' he thought to himself. He took another glance at Tenzo and realized the man had come to the same conclusion. Kakashi squeezed his hands into tight fists at his side, resisting the urge to close his eye as he heard the bad news. Two words were repeating through his head like a mantra. 'Who died?'
Tsunade was visibly uncomfortable as Kakashi and Tenzo sat in front of her. She didn't look at them, which caused them to shift their eyes questioningly to each other. Tenzo took note of Kakashi's tense body language, and released a deep breath, turning back to their village leader. "What did you need, Lady Tsunade?" he asked, bracing himself for the bad news as well.
"Well, I have to tell you two… There's been sort of a mix-up…" she said, looking from one man to the other. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her while Tenzo waited patiently for her to explain. She sighed. "So, you remember your last mission, right? The preparation we made."
The two men nodded, Tenzo looking down at the floor uncomfortably. As Kakashi was still looking at her, Tsunade spoke primarily to him. "Well, there was a mistake in the missions room and your… paperwork… got filed on accident."
Kakashi's eyebrow went higher. "So, what are you saying, Lady Tsunade?" he asked.
She sighed. "I'm saying that you two are legally married." Tenzo's head jolted up from the floor, his eyes wide in shock as he stared at the Hokage. Kakashi just sat there, stunned, before turning his head to look at his friend… his husband, who was pointedly not looking at him.
"So… I guess we'll get a divorce?" Kakashi asked, looking from Tenzo to Tsunade. Tenzo nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah, it can't be that hard since we're both willing, right? Just sign some paperwork and everything goes back to normal." He breathed a sigh of relief that Kakashi was being so level-headed about this. Sometimes, that man was just too stubborn for his own good, and he got way too much enjoyment out of tormenting Tenzo. He remembered them being assigned the mission, and cringed inwardly. He was grateful that Kakashi had his head on straight today.
Kakashi stared when Tsunade just directed her eyes towards her desk, shuffling some paperwork around as she stalled. "What is it?" he asked drily.
She looked up at them sheepishly. "Well, it's just that… village law states that a married couple cannot get a divorce unless they have lived together for at least a year."
"Well, I'm sure that's for couples who actually meant to get married. This was for a mission. Can't the elders…"
Tsunade shook her head. "I've already spoken to the elders. They are unwilling to budge on this point. They claim that if they allow you to do it, it sets a precedent that will have ninjas claiming that they had to get married for the sake of the mission in order to get their divorce."
Kakashi and Tenzo gaped at Tsunade. Tenzo was the first to come to his senses. "Well, then, I guess Kakashi and I will have to be roommates for the next year. We can get a two-bedroom apartment, and then in a year, we'll get a divorce." Tsunade still looked uncomfortable. Tenzo glared at her. "What?"
"Well… it's just that… in order for the year to count…" Tsunade trailed off, mumbling something.
"What was that?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrow raising as he fought to convince himself that he hadn't heard her right.
Tsunade sighed, looking up to face two of her strongest, proudest shinobi. "In order for the year to count, you have to share a bed."
The two ninja took in her words, their faces almost simultaneously registering shock, then horror, and finally, outrage.
"They can't tell us that we have to sleep together!" Tenzo yelled.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Except that's exactly what they did for the mission that got us into this mess," he reasoned. Tsunade looked at him hopefully, praying that he would be reasonable about this. He sighed. "So what do we do now?" he asked her.
"Well, I figure you guys have done stuff like this before, right? I mean, they aren't saying you have to have sex, just sleep in the same bed. So just treat it like a long-term mission and get it over with." She started to say something else, but hesitated, looking from the resigned Hatake to the outraged wood-style user. "Look, I am really sorry about all of this, but I have done all I can on my end. My hands are tied. Now, I think you two should take some time to process this, and we can discuss it again later. You're dismissed."
The two men walked from the room as if in a daze. They were both thinking the same thing: 'This is gonna get awkward…'
"Come on, Kakashi. It won't be that bad. It will be just like when ninja have to huddle together for missions to stay warm." So much for the silver-haired ninja being reasonable today. The two had gathered at Kakashi's apartment, mostly because the older man had refused to speak to Tenzo as they walked and the frustrated wood-user had followed him here in an effort to force him to talk.
Kakashi growled in frustration. "Yeah, and that's hard enough for me…" he muttered, clearly not intending the younger man to hear.
Tenzo glared at the man. "Look, I know that contact is still a little out of the ordinary for you, but it's not like we'll be cuddling or anything. And I, for one, don't plan on dying married to you. So will you just tell me what it is that's got your undies in a bunch over this?"
Kakashi just glared at his friend, before turning around and pulling his Icha Icha from his pocket. "Oh, no you don't. We're resolving this issue, right now!" Tenzo yelled, grabbing the book and throwing it at the opposite wall, earning him a murderous glare from the older ninja. "We've had to huddle for missions before, tell me why this is different."
"It's long term… we'd be living together… you'd have to see my face… pick one." Kakashi said, standing to retrieve his book. He was trying to keep the real reason off his face, cursing how expressive his one eye could be when he hadn't had time to properly suppress an emotion.
"I can't believe you!" Tenzo yelled. He stood, tugging at his hair in frustration as he thought through their situation. "You know what, I don't even care. I'm moving in, and I will get us out of this mess whether you like it or not!"
Kakashi turned right before bending to pick up his book, shock and horror written on his face. "Wh… no!" he yelled back. "This is my apartment! You can't just announce that you're moving in!"
Tenzo crossed his arms over his chest. "I can, and I did. Now, what are you going to do about it?" he asked with a sneer.
Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "Tenzo… you do not want to live with me, and you really don't want to sleep in the same bed with me…" he gritted through his teeth.
Tenzo just gave him an 'oh, really' look. "And why is that?"
Kakashi glared. "Because… it will be… uncomfortable…"
Tenzo got impatient with Kakashi's games. "Just spit it out already! Why are you so against us doing this so we can get out of this mess?!"
"BECAUSE I'M GAY!" Kakashi shouted, his frustration boiling over. He smacked his palm against his forehead as soon as the words were out of his mouth, realizing that not only had he just come out of the closet for the first time to anyone other than his lovers, he had done so loudly, in his own apartment. He averted his eyes from Tenzo, who he could feel staring at him in shock.
Tenzo stared at the silver-haired man, unable to form words. "I… you… umm… what?" he finally asked.
Kakashi sighed as he looked at his dumbstruck friend. "I'm gay, Tenzo. Have been for years. Sleeping with a straight man is something that's very uncomfortable for me to do, especially…" He realized where he was headed with that sentence, and his mouth snapped shut, but it was too late.
"Especially what?" Tenzo asked quietly.
Kakashi sighed again, knowing the ANBU wouldn't let this go until he got his answer. "Especially attractive straight men." He looked at Tenzo and watched as his brows knitted together in confusion before realization dawn on his face.
"So you… you're attracted to me?" Kakashi just stared, unable to form words to (falsely) deny it but unwilling to admit it. Tenzo gaped at him. "You know, you really should tell someone that before you sleep with them!" he yelled.
His words elicited a chuckle from the silver-haired jonin. "I've always figured if I'm sleeping with them, they already know," he said, wiggling an eyebrow suggestively.
Tenzo blushed crimson when he realized the double entendre of his words. "You know what I mean…" he muttered, pouting like a child at Kakashi's teasing. The older man couldn't help but think how adorable he was.
Kakashi sighed. "You're still not going to give up on this, are you?" Tenzo nodded resolutely. Kakashi sighed again. "So, your place or mine?" he asked sarcastically.
"Well, since no matter what I say, you'll probably be the stubborn ass you always are, I guess I should just agree to your place now, huh?" Tenzo asked, tired at just the thought of an argument with the manipulative jonin. Kakashi smirked under his mask.
"So, I guess you'll want to go get some of your stuff, then?" he asked, shooting Tenzo a crinkle-eyed smile that the ANBU knew to interpret as smug. Tenzo sighed. This was going to be a long year.
Tenzo yawned as he stretched his arms, his back arching off the bed before collapsing back with a satisfied sigh. As usual, Kakashi had gotten up before him, and as Tenzo's stretching arm ventured to the other man's side of the bed, he found the sheets to be cold. The man had probably been up for hours. He had been truly surprised upon moving in with Kakashi that the man was a morning person. He had always expected that Kakashi was always late because he slept in, but apparently, that wasn't it.
Tenzo had been living with Kakashi for nearly a week, and so far, it had been OK. He still had yet to see Kakashi's face, though he had noticed Kakashi tugging uncomfortably at his mask out of the corners of his eyes, clearly not used to wearing it in his own home. Tenzo had encouraged him on several occasions to take it off, under the guise of being concerned for his friend's comfort (in all reality, he just wanted to be able to brag about being one of very few who had seen the Copy Ninja's true face). However, Kakashi had seen straight through that, though he always went to bed after and woke up before Tenzo, so Tenzo imagined he didn't sleep in it. He had even tried staying up really late in order to convince the ninja to take it off and sleep before him, but his plan had not worked, and it had just led to a very grumpy and sleep-deprived ninja who made the next day hell, so Tenzo vowed not to do that again.
Other than that, it had been smooth sailing. Both men kept to themselves for the most part, and while it was not easy for two eternal-bachelor types to adjust their lives around each other, they were managing well, in Tenzo's opinion, though secretly Kakashi did not agree. He was not getting nearly enough sleep, too afraid of waking up in an uncomfortable situation that would thoroughly disgust and horrify his friend, so he slept very lightly and not very long.
He knew that if he wanted to survive the next year, he would have to become accustomed to sleeping in bed with an attractive man that he couldn't have, but he wasn't even used to staying the night after sex, so he really didn't know what to do in this situation. He sighed as he looked at the memorial stone in front of him. "Well, Obito, what the fuck am I supposed to do?" For a moment, he could have sworn he heard the mischievous boy's mocking laugh on the wind.
Tenzo awoke to a feeling of being suffocated and stabbed. His first thought was that he was being attacked, but as his brain woke and registered the feeling, he realized it was really more like being subdued. So, Tenzo took advantage of the time that his captor was holding him to take note of the situation. His brain started processing the attacker's body location before he was even conscious enough to move. 'One leg over my thighs, arm in a vice around my chest, some sort of blunt weapon pressed against my thigh…'
His brain was fully awake now, and he cracked one eye barely open to see that he was still in their room in Kakashi's apartment. He grimaced in confusion and concern. If someone was attacking him in Kakashi's room, then where was Kakashi? Why had he not stopped the intruder? Suddenly, a light snore from his 'captor' led Tenzo's brain to finally register the situation.
He wasn't being attacked. He was just in bed with Kakashi, who was cuddled up to him for dear life. Tenzo felt his body relax as his eyes rolled at the man. He processed the discomfort lodged against his thigh. 'I always knew Kakashi was paranoid, but I didn't realize he slept with a weapon,' he thought to himself. He tried to ponder what it may be. Nunchaku? Some sort of blade handle? No, Kakashi hadn't really used blades since his family sword had been destroyed. Curious, he reached down to 'accidentally' brush the item to get a better feel for it.
He instantly blushed profusely. Just one touch had told him everything he needed to know. The 'object' was large and hard, pressed up against his thigh by Kakashi's hips. There was an extra layer of cloth separating Tenzo's fingers from the 'weapon'. And, as if that hadn't been enough for the younger man to figure out what it was, the moan that Kakashi let out in his sleep when Tenzo touched it sure as hell told him.
He quickly yanked his fingers back, his heart racing, trying not to panic so that he didn't wake Kakashi. He tried to take deep breaths to calm his racing heart as he tried to process. 'I just touched Senpai's cock!' he thought to himself. His hands were shaking. He decided that as things stood, there was no way he was going to be able to stay still enough to not wake Kakashi, so he quickly and easily slid out of the bed, sneaking furtive glances at the silver-haired man still tangled in the sheets as he did so, making sure he was still asleep. When he was sure had had successfully achieved his mission, he quickly hurried to the bathroom, closing the door quickly but quietly behind him.
Kakashi heard the door click shut, and risked cracking an eye and seeing his bedroom empty. He smirked. Who would have known his little kohai could be such a pervert? He had awoken to light struggles as Tenzo's body fought his embrace, and had considered releasing the man, but was curious as to what his reaction would be to the same situation Kakashi had found himself in every morning for the last few weeks.
When Tenzo's body had gone completely rigid against him, he could tell that Tenzo was evaluating him as if he was some sort of assailant. He had almost released him then, not wanting to wake up to a punch in the face this morning, but then the man in his grasp had relaxed, obviously realizing that he was not under attack. And having Tenzo cuddled in his arms, his leg draped intimately around his thighs, felt so nice that Kakashi was not ready to give it up just yet. So he held on. 'Only for another minute,' he had told himself.
Suddenly, he had felt a wandering hand touch his hard length, pressed up against Tenzo's thigh. He had been so surprised that he couldn't fight the moan that escaped his throat. He didn't know exactly what Tenzo had been going for, but he had certainly not expected those wicked fingers to curl around him and drag over his shaft. And suddenly, the feeling had been gone. Kakashi figured Tenzo had probably been scared off by his moan. But he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had he been able to keep it in.
He smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn't the only one who had a hard time sleeping next to another man…