Regret
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
She didn't want to do this. She could already imagine their faces. But she had no other choice.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
She wanted to beg forgiveness on her knees from each person she was hurting, but it wouldn't do anything. She knew what she'd seen. They knew she'd seen it. There was really only one thing to do: get out while she could. In one stupid moment of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, she'd exposed her friends, family, everyone she loved to horrible danger.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Six letters. She'd written six letters, six clues to anyone stubborn enough to want to come after her. Jade, Beck, Cat, Robbie and Rex, Trina and her parents . . . André. As she was running, she'd actually ended up on his driveway, blinded by tears and shaking. Her fingers caressed the doorbell . . . and she turned and kept running. She wouldn't put him in that kind of danger. This was for her alone to face.
She was crying as she drove away.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
She ditched her car in the parking lot by the station. They knew it by now. It was too risky. She had a backpack full of clothes, a hairbrush, her phone, some money, her dad's pocketknife (could never be too careful), a Hollywood Arts yearbook, a photo album of her friends, and of course a toothbrush. And buried at the very bottom of the bag, although she would never admit it to anyone, a grimy, careworn stuffed rabbit named Snow, although she more resembled an Ash by now. She needed some comfort. It was all she had left in the world.
The gravel crunched under her boots, the sound echoing in the silent night. The chain-link fence didn't even have barbed wire; she threw her backpack over with ease and clambered after it. She'd never been on this side of the fence, and it was slightly unnerving. For a moment, raw panic consumed her, the absolute terror of being seventeen and on the run threatening to choke her – or at least make her sick. But she swallowed it, pressing against her heart in a vain attempt to slow it. She didn't have a choice at this point.
A thunderous whistle made her look up. The train was taking off, slowly chugging toward top speed. She stepped back from the tracks hastily, slinging the backpack over her shoulder. The driver didn't seem to notice her as it picked up speed, and she started jogging beside it, first slowly, and then faster as she found what she was looking for: an open platform. With one last sprint she threw herself inside, landing with a heavy thud on the rough wooden floor. Wincing and effectively crushed by her backpack, she struggled to her knees, brushing hair from her face. Her jeans were now almost frayed through at the knees, but she'd made it, and with any luck nobody would be checking each car at this time of night.
"Well, here's something you don't see every night."
Tori had to stuff her knuckles in her mouth to keep from screaming. She wasn't alone in the car. There were two other men in the car, ragged and grimy with matching thick beards. One had a trash bag of possessions on a crate beside him, the other propping a bedroll behind his back. Homeless.
Like her.
She took a deep breath and forced herself to be calm, combing her fingers through her hair and sitting up a little straighter. They were both against the same wall, so she crawled to the opposite wall and sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She hadn't thought to bring a blanket. It was going to get cold soon.
"What's your story, kid?" the one who had spoken first asked. He seemed pretty okay, but she was glad she had the knife in her pocket all the same.
"Getting out of here," she said shortly, staring at the wood floor in front of her and swaying slightly with the train.
The other man whistled. "Wow. You got guts, I'll give you that. What you running from?"
She shook her head for a moment, silent. "Doesn't matter," she said finally, not lifting her eyes.
He snorted. "Does it ever?" Without another world, he stretched out and rolled over. Within a few minutes he was snoring.
Tori waited until the other one was snoring too before breaking down in soundless tears.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
. . .
Any suggestions for where she's going? Thanks!