King Jimbo sat on the throne, drinking a beer.

"Life is so good to me," he thought to himself as he stood to give his speech to the lords and ladies of South Park.

'Well," he began, 'I know that my dear brother's death still weighs heavily upon us, but I know he would want us to move on with our lives. There is much that needs to be discussed, for the fate of the kingdom lies in peril. The young Prince Cartman of North Park, who's mother my dear brother killed in honorable combat, seeks revenge, and plots to destroy us.."

There was a gasp of surprise from the crowd.

'Don't worry about a thing," assured Jimbo, "I'll take care of everything."

'Hurray for King Jimbo!" cried someone in the crowd.

"YAY!" cried the entire crowd.

"What a bunch of retards," thought Jimbo before continuing his speech. "Yes, I have a plan to stop the young Cartman. You see, Cartman has an uncle named Howard, who despises violence and war. If he knew of the young Cartman's plan, he would surly try to put a stop to it. Of course Cartman would refuse, and Howard would have no choice but to wage a civil war against Cartman's troops. And after they're done killin each other, we come in and take out the rest of em!"

"That sounds like a good idea," said Ned, Jimbo's advisor and best friend.

The crowd cheered and began to disperse.

"Timmy and Jimmy!" called Jimbo.

"Ri…righ…right here your maj…majas…ty." said Jimmy.

"TIMMY!" cried Timmy.

"Take this letter to Cartman's uncle Howard," ordered Jimbo as he handed Jimmy a letter.

"Yes…yes…yes your…majesty!" said Jimmy, taking the letter and heading for the door.

'TIMMY!" cried Timmy, as he followed Jimmy out the door.

Jimbo watched them leave, and then turned his attention to Kenny, a friend of Ned's adopted daughter.

"So how goes it with you young Kenny?" asked Jimbo.

"fmmmfmm mmm mfffmp mfffmm mffpffpff, fmpppf fmmmmmffm fmpmfpmmmfmp ppppfpppmpp ppfmpf fmpmfpmppppm."

"What?"

Kenny removed the hood of his Parka, then spoke again.

"I want to go back to Middle Park and continue my schooling with your permission my lord. I came here willingly to show my support at your coronation, but now that that's done, I must return to school and finish English paper on Shakespeare for Mr. Garrison's class."

'Well, I don't know, what do you think Ned?"

"Hey!" cried Kenny, "I don't care what Ned thinks, he's not my dad!"

Jimbo ignored him.

"Well, I suppose he can go," said Ned, "I mean he's got a point. I'm not his dad."

"Well, that's good enough for me!" exclaimed Jimbo.

Kenny put his hood back up and left the room.

"And how are you doing on this fine day my dear Stan?" asked Jimbo turning to face his nephew.

"Oh, just fine," replied Stan sarcastically, "I mean, my dad's dead, you've married my mom, and South Park may have to go to war with North Park."

"Oh Stan," said Jimbo, "you worry too much. You just need to settle down with a good cold beer and make love to that girlfriend of yours."

"Maybe I'll try that." said Stan in response.

"Good," said Jimbo, "well, I'd stay and chat with you Stan, but I've got a full day of drinking, huntin, and wild monkey sex with your mom, so I'll see you later. Come on Ned!"

Jimbo and Ned exited the room. The crowd had long since left, and Stan was alone.

"You just need to drink," Stan said imitating his uncle. "You just need to shoot innocent little animals, you just need to have sex with Wendy. You just need to become an alcoholic loser Stan, then you won't care that your dad died Stan."

"Dude Stan, you shouldn't say stuff like that, someone might here."

Stan jumped, he hadn't noticed his best friend enter the room.

"Kyle," Stan said, "I didn't here you come in."

"Stan, there's something you should know," Kyle said, "I think I saw your dad last night."

"What?"

"Last night I stood watch with Bradley and Jason. At one o'clock your fathers ghost appeared."

"Your crazy Kyle."

"Would I lie to my super best friend, especially about something this serious?"

"Good point, stranger things have happened in this town. Did you speak to it?"

"I tried Stan, but…" Kyle hung his head in shame, "…but I offended it and it left."

"Maybe I'll have better luck, he is my dad after all...supposedly."

"Maybe."

"I'll watch with the guards tonight, and I want you to be there Kyle."

Kyle nodded and left the room, leaving Stan alone again.