I Will Never Knock

by Anarchy.For.Her.Chaos

“You are in my head, when my heart's at war, and if I'm ever scared, I'll breathe the air In front of your door. I will never knock, but that's as far as I'll go. It's only in my dreams when I say what I mean, bur I'll get damn near close” ExB. A little OOC. HEA. No cheating! M for flashback loooove. A story of one stupid vampire who’s trying to find his way back to his girl. ;)

2. Holding It Together

A/N: This is part two of my little story...

Holding It Together

BPOV

6:15 A.M.

I am slowly losing my mind. Everyday that I leave my apartment for work, I smell his scent. A distinct whiff of sunshine, honey, and lilac. I would know that scent anywhere, but why? After 2 months of radio silence from him, it makes no sense. So the only logical conclusion that I've reached, is that I'm going insane.

You would think that I would have gone crazy during those desolate first days after he left me, but I managed to barely hang onto it. If it weren't for my roommate Angela, making me eat, sleep, shower, and watch Mean Girls and Clueless on a loop, I would probably be locked in a psych ward being spoonfed jello.

So, why is my mind cracking now. Last night, I could have sworn that I heard his voice. I was in that slice of time where you slowly drift into sleep when I heard it: his angry voice. It was so faint, but it was there. I threw my front door open, looking left and right, but he wasn't there. Just that whiff of his scent. Ang is convinced that it's someone's cologne I'm smelling, or maybe their laundry soap. I agree just to appease her, and not cause her to worry.

Some days it's stronger, almost concentrated. Those are the days that I feel it most, that bullet wound that tore through me, soul and body. It's as if someone has ripped the stitches and I bleed. God, do I bleed. As I hold myself together with paper thin resolve, I remember the promises he to made in the shadow of night. How I was his for eternity. That the only thing that could tear him away from me was death itself. I remember the sincerity that shone from his eyes when he told me I was perfect as he took me. I remember the way we fit together like destiny. I remember waking in the morning to the man who couldn't love himself enough so he shattered my heart. I also remember the ring that I threw at him when he was too afraid to love me.

My alarm clock blares obnoxiously to my left, saving me from myself. I roll out of bed to start another day without him. I'm starting to believe that it might be a good thing.

A/N: Just a short one this time, but Alice was a mouthy woman last night ;)