Chapter One

Little Elf

"If you look closely at a tree you'll notice it's knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully."

-Matthew Fox

I felt cold. Like I was stretched so thin that any ounce of body heat seemed to escape me into the dark oblivion that held me hostage at the same time. I felt like I was floating, whatever direction I looked it was the same inescapable darkness that was clawing at my fae. It was all so, unnatural. My limbs were frozen in place and my mind had yet to account for the immeasurable weight that was placed on my shoulders from my now deceased parents. It was currently focusing itself on how impossible my situation was and that my current situation that I was gallivanting off too was my travel to Middle Earth which was somehow less pleasant than it ought to be.

Then I saw it. The faintest light was far from my grasp, painted against the immeasurable black abyss. It spoke just as faintly as it was showing but held kind words, familiar words. It's soothing voice captivated me, pulling my thoughts from the improbability of my situation and into whatever it was saying. Was it speaking Quenya? No it's softer maybe Sindarin. The voice was much lighter than what I was used to speaking those words, the voice was what should've been speaking them. Not the harshness my own tongue formed those delicate vowels, but maybe it was it's owners the elves who were speaking.

My limbs slowly regained motion and I felt myself being pulled myself closer and closer towards the light. I breached the surface of my unconsciousness, taking deep gasping breaths. My eyes fluttered open and closed trying to adjust to the harsh light of what I thought to be morning. I was lying in a very comfortable bed and found enough energy to sit up and look at my surroundings. I was clothed in a flowy white dress that reminded me of a hospital gown. My bed was the same white color and was longer than I was used to. The room was made of wood that was light in color almost like pale driftwood. The floor looked like it was made of smooth marble. The rays of sunlight pierced the room from large open windows and instead of glass, flowing white curtains fluttered in the morning breeze.

My fae sang a mighty chorus feeling the strength of nature that was rooted so deeply in this place. It was having its first taste of this world that was not as tainted as the last, here at least the trees could stretch and the birds could fly free and sing their own mighty song. I praised the Valar silently for I never felt so alive and my magic pulsed in my veins. I wanted to test my strength here, but then it all came crashing down at the thought of my parents. The light dulled from my eyes and every inch of me drooped in sadness. My fae thrummed, full of vigor and life, but soon it dulled as well, feeling the crippling weight of my loved ones deaths.

I finally felt the pressure on my shoulders, I could feel hands clawing at my fae, pleading with me to live for them. I brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and propped my chin upon them. How could I enjoy such magnificence when my parents lay dead in a world so far out of reach? I wished for nothing but to go back into their arms. I wished them to be alive and with me to help me do what they said I was born to do. I couldn't muster any tears in my wallowing, I spent them all in that far away place where the beautiful evergreens grow.

"You have woken my lady." A beautiful voice pulled me from my wallowing and I glanced at them.

In front of the doorway stood the most beautiful creature. She looked elegant and regal, was tall and held such kind and soft features. Her skin was pale and her long dark brown hair contrasted themselves in an enchanting manner. Her gray eyes were warm and inviting, a small comforting smile graced her face. My eyes drifted to something poking out from her hair, and came to a conclusion on how one being could be as beautiful as the stars. She was an elf. It accounted for the soft silvery glow that surrounded her like a halo and it made me think that she was the voice I heard calling for me moments ago.

"It seems I have," my voice sounded gravelly and caused me to clear my throat. I wondered how long I had been laying in this place.

"Your belongings have been put into the chair, my father took the liberty to go through them." She spoke in common tongue, which I guess she thought benefited me. I felt my annoyance lurk and mingle with my anger. Who gave him the right to look through my things?

"My thanks are in order then?" I stopped short of saying her name and gave her a questioning look, it caused a light blush to flourish on her cheeks.

"I'm Arwen, my father is Lord Elrond, he is the one who healed you and brought you here." Arwen gave me another smile.

"My father found you as he was going into his private gardens, you were floating in his pond, covered in scrapes and turning an alarming shade of blue. Your mind it seems, was fighting something off, and your fae is remarkably strong and resilient. It was the only reason you survived."

"How long have I been here?" My eyes drifted back towards the window, I wanted nothing more than to have her leave so I could wallow in peace.

"You have been here for a month." Her voice was more soothing than I would have liked to admit. I didn't want comfort, I wanted the pain it was only a fraction of what my parents went through and what my people did.

"What is your name?" The question caught me off guard, surely she would know if Elrond looked through her things.

"Elleta Soren." I replied turning my gaze to look at her who was now sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well Lady Elleta, when you're feeling up to it, my father would like to speak to you, but only when you are ready. I know you are going through something painful and-"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING!" I screamed at her tears now streaming down my face in an unrelentless march as my heart pounded out it's grief.

Arwen jumped up in surprise and opened her mouth to say something, but realized nothing she could say would ease my grief. "My apologies for my words Lady Elleta, I'll take my leave now." With that she left the room as I sobbed out my grief.

My body was wracked with each sob that left my lips. I was alone, so infinitely alone in my grief. My fae sought out solace in the trees and water as my mind and heart felt the pounding desire to go back and rewind time. I could hear the agonizing screams my parents let out as the last ounce of energy ripped out their fae from their bodies. It replayed over and over inside my head, with each replay my weeping became louder. I could barely breathe, I had to suck in air before another sob took it all out. They took it out on my people, humans made us leave both our homes. They caused the death of my people with their insatiable greed and lust for power. Of course I knew not every human was like that but it was Isildur who held most of my amounting anger.

I let a grief-stricken scream escape me in a horrible attempt to make the pain subside. More followed in the same attempts til my throat ran raw and I could barely manage a sob. My weeps became soundless and I rocked back and forth trying to console myself. My heart pounded relentlessly against my ribs that caged in my sorrows.I clawed at my skin making it bleed trying to escape the agonizing pain of what I was being thrown though.

My sobs subsided and I laid down letting the blood flow freely, it wouldn't kill me. I retreated within myself holding onto my fae and it's comforting and constant presence. I barely noticed the healers who came in and went to a state of panic seeing me. I numbly fought them as they got me to drink an elixir that made me feel drowsy. I retreated further and further away, pushing my emotions into some far off corner that I hoped would keep them away.

I awoke the next morning to the same light and the same numbness as before. I swung my legs off the bed and plucked a chair that the healers used. I dragged it with me as my legs robotically moved towards the window. I sat down in it and looked at the view, it would of taken my breath away if the numbness was not there taking away and muting everything. It seemed that the city, which was actually Rivendell or Imladris, was situated in a valley. The houses and buildings seemed to all hold the same architecture as the one I was in and seemed to follow a river that lazily made it's way towards the open expanse of water.

My window gave me the perfect view of the sea. I let my thoughts drift with the tide as my fae ran with the waves. I took notice to Arwen pulling up a chair next to me, but I didn't spare her a glance and kept my dull pale gold eyes on the alluring blue of the sea. She spoke to me tales of her youth, telling of how the city was built and how another elf came from the same pond I came from, but with a different story than mine. Arwen spoke of the recklessness of her older twin brothers, Elrohir and Elladan, who were right now off wreaking havoc on orc packs in retribution for their mother.

Arwen came in everyday to sit next to me telling me stories and I listened carefully, even if I gave her no indication I was. She continued on with her stories, much to my own delight, it gave me a break from my sadness and instead let me conjure up images of her tales. A few of them actually held much of my curiosity and interest, one was of the dúnedain rangers named Estel whose mother brought him here and was raised by Elrond before he left to live like the ranger he was. I noticed how fondly she spoke of him, my lips almost quirked up knowing that Arwen liked him. He now went by Aragon, but as Arwen went deeper into his tale I found out he was related to Isildur. My anger, although muted, stirred at that. I couldn't hate him though, for his ancestor suffered for his greed.

The other tale, was rather recent and was little less than fifty years ago, was about a company of twelve dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard. It was quite an enthralling story, although the ending was rather sad, it was something to marvel at. They defeated a dragon nonetheless, and got back their home. Arwen was a marvelous story teller, I couldn't help but be enthralled by her carefully crafted words. Thankfully she steered clear of any stories of pixies. Arwen was in the middle of another story of her beloved Aragon when I decided to interrupt her delightful story.

"You should tell him you know." I said rather simply with a small smile.

I turned to look at her now frozen face and couldn't help but let a small strained laugh. She let a laugh go as well as she blushed at my words.

"If you had waited a few more moments Lady Elleta, we would have gotten to that part." Arwen smiled in her reply.

"I have always been a little impatient, I take after my naneth when it comes to that." I said.

I had finally came to terms with their deaths, enough to speak of them without showing pain. It was now a few more months down the road, somewhere around June. I could tell only from the heat that was radiating off the sun and onto the ground.

"I take it that you've actually listened to my stories then?"

"Yes Lady Arwen, you have quite the talent for them."

"Call me Arwen. You've now become my confidant with all the stories I've told." We both laughed at that statement knowing she was right, "then call me Elleta, it's only fair."

We talked for another few weeks in that room, until the healers cleared me to go and I was given a guest room within the royal quarters. I resented it in a way, a part felt like I was only given such nice accommodations because I was a pixie and the last of my people.

The room I was given was around the same size as the room I recovered in. The colors were more earthy though, I suspected they changed it for my benefit. Several plants were out on a balcony and my pack and clothes were laying on a queen sized bed covered in green silk blankets. The wood was dark oak and my drapes were more of a cream color. Besides the doors that led to my balcony another was off to the side, right before a bookcase. I walked over to it and opened it to find a rather comfortable sized bath and a bedpan. My heart dropped at it, I longed for indoor plumbing. My time in the healing quarters got me used to both things but I felt spoiled from my earlier years in that far away land.

"Is everything to your tastes Lady Elleta?"

I whipped around, startled at the voice. It sounded exactly like the one I heard months ago. I calculated that it was Lord Elrond that I was finally seeing. He was dressed in fine robes that were a light blue, his front pieces of his hair were braided back and a circlet laid on his head. He looked aged and I could understand why he would. His eyes held a paternal warmth and an undying patience, which probably helped him greatly with raising twin boys who had an eye for trouble.

"Yes, I thank you for your kindness Lord Elrond." I said with a small smile, waving him in.

He nodded before walking to the open doors of the balcony, I followed standing beside him and my room still faced the sea. We stood there in companionable silence, it was nice. His fae was reaching out to mine and mine reached out to his. He felt all of the pain I was going through and wrapped my fae with the strength of his. My fae once again began to sing a mighty chorus over the invigorating feeling of touching another nature minded fae.

"I read your mother's letter Lady Elleta. I express my sympathies over your pain. It is not easy to wade through the ocean of grief, but I cannot imagine swimming with stones on your back through it. You carry much on your shoulders little elf, I will do all that I can to help you." He paused looking at me and I looked back at him with a resilient and determined look. "Your mother and father were only newborns when your people left these lands. Your grandfather was the one who made the final choice, he consulted with me heavily on the matter.

"I was surprised on how many pixies survived the move over, I thought that there would be more, but I was mistaken. We buried those whose fae could not take the strain, most were elders and those who were hurt from the war. Now it seems that I am entrusted with the care of the last pixie, here you will not be harmed for who you are little elf, but beyond this city, your only refuge is with the elves. I will help you be accustomed to life here and help you hone your magic to the best of my abilities, although if you wish to continue your weapons training you may train with my sons who are more than willing to help. Arwen can help you with other matters, no matter what they are. You have made quite the impression on her." Elrond finished talking before smiling at me as I digested the information.

It was a lot to take in no doubt, but it was comforting that I could continue in a way from where I left off. I could continue my training with my weapons, although now I was going to be more than a little rusty. I was only a hundred and twenty one, and I wouldn't specialize from the four elements til I reached adulthood, which was one hundred and forty. Instead I would have to hone in on all of my abilities no matter how sporadic they were. I struggled with the unrest my fae would feel when I practised and it always made it more difficult. With help though, I would hopefully be able to tame my wild fae.

"I have one request Lord Elrond, may I have some leggings and tunics instead of dresses please? I feel more free that way." I asked him with a small smile which earned a slight smirk as he nodded his head.

"I would also like to take up the offer of training with Elrohir and Elladan and magic with you." He nodded again but stopped mid nod and a crease formed in between his brow.

"I'm afraid I cannot help you with your magic, but I will call upon a friend who does. He will surely help you in that endeavor. I believe Arwen told you of him, his name is Gandalf the Grey. A quite remarkable wizard who will no doubt help you. He knows much of pixies and will know more than I about your magic."

I nodded at the statement, my heart dropped a little having to wait longer to work on magic safely. We talked for a few minutes more before he departed to tell one of the servants of my order for leggings and tunics, and to have the seamstress come by to take my measurements and to send word to his sons, who've finally decided to come back from their expedition, of my acceptance of their proposal before rushing off to some important meeting.

I enjoyed wearing dresses on certain occasions, I didn't abhor them, I just would feel more free in a tunic and able to get dirty in nature in a pair of leather leggings. Training and horseback riding would be far easier out of a dress and I thought logically about my wardrobe. I realized how highly I was being thought of to be given the invitation of training with the guard and the twin boys who were high up in the ranks. I walked over to my clothes and put them away in the dresser that sat at the foot of my bed, before unpacking everything else. I let my hiking boots sit beside the dresser and put all my food in the bin knowing they had long since expired.

My parents did not let me have any technology, the only thing I was allowed was a Polaroid camera, which I had brought with several packages of film and set them on my bedside table. I knew it would come in handy for the days ahead and the memories I would make. I pulled a photo album out and quickly put it away hidden beneath the clothes. I had some money left in my bag along with jewelry and the box my mother gave me.

I pulled the box out and set it on my bed, it was a foot across and a foot wide. It was a simple box that was tan and was held closed by two simple clasps that I flipped open. I pushed open the top of it and pulled out the two daggers that were covered in delicate white lace. Underneath the daggers was a letter addressed to me and I pulled it out.

My lovely Elleta,

I am so very sorry for what you are going through, it was our only choice. You must understand how hard it was to make the choice to send you back! We only want what is best for you, you will thrive under Elrond's care. He is to be trusted and so are all elves. They are our most loyal allies, they will protect you and help you. It is hard for me to explain the importance of you going back. I can simply say that it is to preserve our culture for our dying race. It is so much more than that, you must help protect Middle Earth, without you it will become unbalanced. The Valar told us at your birth that your fae was meant to be there and not in this realm.

These daggers were your grandmothers, she fought in the war of The Last Alliance. She perished soon after making the journey here. They are named Gwilith and Nen, for both of those elements are quick and efficient and work beautifully together. I want you to keep them and train with them, let them be used instead of sitting in this box. I'm sure if you talk to Elrond you can get an axe and shield made. Do not take advantage of his hospitality my love, join his guard for me. Show him that you are not some fragile maiden who can play with swords.

Your father and I love you very much Elleta, we will see you soon in the undying lands.

With love,

Mavis and Fillion Soren

P.S. Do not fret about your teachings, I am sure Elrond will find a suitable tutor.

A part of me was angry again, at my parents, the letter even though it expressed their remorse, did nothing to help the gaping hole inside me. I felt like my mother just prodded it further open, like I was meant to piece the puzzle together myself. I should have known that this was my fate was what my mother was portraying. I clenched the letter in my hands and let an anguished growl part my lips.

"Now what did that paper do to you?" Arwen's voice cut through the tense air expertly, diffusing most of my rage.

I sighed and slapped a small smile on my face before turning to look at her. It was unexpected that she was here and I thought that the seamstress would be here by now, but apparently I was mistaken.

"I thought you were the seamstress, I don't think I can wield an axe with a dress hindering my movements." I replied, sarcasm oozing from my voice, that earned me a playful glare from the elf.

"I can wield a sword in a dress." She replied just as snarky as I did and earned a huff in response.

"Hopefully your brothers don't expect me to come in a dress."

"They are right now trying to formulate a plan to train you, at a beginners level."

"So a elfling's learning level." I sarcastically rolled my eyes seeing Arwen laugh and nod her head.

"I can't wait to see their faces Elleta, prove them wrong." With that she walked away, pulling on her cool exterior to mask the glee hidden away.

I grumbled some more as I sat down on the bed and pulled Gwilith onto my lap, leaving her twin on one of my pillows and examined her. The handle was made of alder wood, it's softness mirrored that of the wood found outside her room, steel and mithril vines crept around the handle before diffusing into the iron blade. Small moonstone runes were laid in the handle causing a beautiful reflection of light to dance across the room. I picked up Nen along with her sister and stood up. I tested their weight before taking a few careful a practiced movements. Remembering my drills, I danced with them across the room, artfully slicing the air, my graceful movements let me look very much like a dancer in the midst of a recital.

A knock brought me back and I dropped my daggers onto the bed, I was panting from the exertion and sweat beaded at my temple. I used the sleeve of my dress to wipe my forehead before opening the door to a severe looking elleth that looked at me with disdain. I held in a glare and a snarky remark as she bustled her way into my room. Her pinched face held the same frown that was probably caused by the tight braid that went down her back.

"I expected you to have some formality Lady Elleta, Arwen spoke highly of you on my way here. Yet, all you have to show is, is looking like you're uncivilized." Her words made me clench my jaw in frustration, her nasally voice made me want to punch her square in her pointed nose poised to the sky. "Now come stand in front of me, drop your," She grimaced, "dress and undergarments so I can get an accurate measurement and leave."

I did as she told, pushing everything away and confidently strolled up to her. I was confident in my body, years of hardwork and dedication let it become well trained, my muscles spoke that. While they weren't all buffed out, I was still defined. She walked around me stopping to inspect my tattoo on my shoulder of a small loblolly pine before moving on and taking out a ribbon that had marks up and down it's length. The seamstress placed it all over and wrapping it around, writing on a piece of paper what I assumed to be my measurements.

"You never told me your name." I finally spoke while she jotted more on the paper. She had stilled at my words sparing me a glare.

"It isn't in my job description. Now what colors do you want?" I rolled my eyes and huffed, grabbing my garments and pulling them on.

"Earthy tones, deep greens and browns. Some full black pieces too I think are in order. Also some cloaks as well, thick in material and try to make them resistant to water for a certain period of time in the same colors. I'll need some boots to, leather as well in also the same colors. Gloves too but only in black and green. A few dresses too will suffice, in pale golds with matching slippers." I watched with a pleased look as she furiously scribbled away what I wanted. I hoped that my order would keep her busy all night, "If you can, may I have these items by the end of the week? At least a few of each."

"You underestimate me Lady Elleta, you'll have your order by tomorrow evening. For now I hope you have all that you need for the next few days."

The seamstress rushed off then. I smiled happily to myself before locking my door and heading to my balcony. I sat myself down next to some herbs that Elrond so graciously gifted me. I let my hands hover over them as I summoned my fae to go into them, I felt the small pulse of life from in them and pushed them to grow, a little push towards the surface. This was the first thing I was taught in my earlier years, to help life grow. It was an important lesson that was taught. It showed how valuable and feeble nature was at its youngest age and how we must care and provide for it throughout its life.

I noticed that he gifted me rosemary, thyme, and athelas. I huffed at the last one, I moved it a little further than the two herbs, it was a healing weed, but a weed just the same and I didn't want it to overrun the others. I paid equal attention to all the plants out in the balcony over the next few days. I pruned them and kept them healthy and kept my door locked the entire time. I wanted to have my company with the earth, not with others. The only time I did open it was to accept the two large packages from the seamstress.

Plants always soothed my fae, it quieted it's recklessness. I was happy having my own garden to care for and to put all my love into. It brought me closure for my family's deaths. I opened the door once more a week from the day I was given the room to accept two large boxes from a servant that I left on my dresser refusing to open.

I knew quite well what they were but I wasn't in the mood and my training session with the twins wasn't for another month since they were pulled aside for another outing. Arwen slipped letters everyday underneath my door since I wasn't speaking and I wrote back reassuring her that I was just reconnecting with nature and needed some more time to adjust to the new lifestyle of servants and to do drills with my daggers. I made sure to tell her father that I thanked him for his generosity.

My days might of been filled with tasks that kept me busy and my mind subdued, but at night all I could think of was those far away days where the land was filled with trees that were evergreen.

Naneth- Mother

Gwilith- Air

Nen- Water

Elleth- Female elf

Elfling- Elf child