Songs used: A LITTLE FALL OF RAIN and parts of IN MY LIFE, again there are some changes to the songs as well as snippets of others thrown in, like ONE DAY MORE
The rain stopped but the clouds still hung overhead threateningly. Javert sat in the streets somberly, his heart no longer pounding rapidly, but aching none the less. Drops of water rolled down in face, off his nose, his uniform sticking solidly to his form, but he didn't move. He sat passively, heart aching, thoughts cycling in his mind. His body felt heavy from the rain, but his soul felt light.
Javert sighed. "How strange. This feeling that my life's begun at last. This change. Can people really fall in love so fast?" Javert felt his heartbeat happily now at the thought of Valjean, when just moments ago it had been filled with confusion and anger and desperation. But still there was a sadness.
"In my life, there are so many questions and answers that somehow seem wrong…" The words were tumbling out again. Javert was still confused, still unsure. This was an empty love that he felt. It was a dead end. It was an incredible feeling, but it hurt knowing it led nowhere.
"Does he see what I see, does he feel what I feel…?" He spoke the words out loud but already knew the answer. A feeling tugged in his chest, a small hope that perhaps Valjean had let him live because he had similar feelings. But the small glimmer was quickly smothered by the knowledge that Jean Valjean was a giving man. Javert knew from his time by Madeline's side that the old man liked to give to charity, like to make people happy. That was how he is. Javert was just another charity to him and it was like a knife to the heart to realize it. There was nothing personal about it. But still…even in a heart of despair that spark of hope always crawls back, always breathes new life. That's what love did. Javert smiled hopelessly to himself, images of Valjean returning swimming through his mind. Returning to him, confessing to him, taking him away from the fear and the loneliness and the corruption of the word.
"I'm no longer alone…find me now, find me here."
An explosion sounded in the distance, shocking Javert from his stupor. He jumped slightly and listened. It was faint, but he heard traces and echoes of pops and shouts. The barricades. The soldiers must have finally arrived and were taking care of the traitors. Javert's mind quickly skipped over the young boys and went straight to the old man that was also in the barricades currently.
"Valjean!" He gasped. He quickly stood and started towards the explosions. He didn't know what he planned to do, but his feet seemed to be making the choice for him. No one was going to survive, none of the traitors. That explosion had been from a cannon. The soldiers weren't messing around and planned to end things quickly. Javert couldn't imagine having Valjean die like that, love or no love. They've chase after each other for too long; Javert wasn't letting 24601 die alone or by anyone else's hand.
Javert was panting as he ran, his feet slipping slightly and water splashing up at he raced into the hell hole. All his years obsessing over the law, over order and rules and structure flew out the window at the thought of Valjean in immediate danger. Valjean who is loving and gentle and good. Valjean who was the sole focus of Javert's heart and mind since the beginning. His only thoughts were on Valjean; not the boys, not the soldiers, not right or wrong, not his own safety. Just Valjean…
"In my life there is no one like him anywhere where he is. If he asked, I'd be his…
…
Javert stopped around the corner. Shouts and cries echoed around him, louder and clearer. Gun shots made his ears ring. He turned the corner cautiously but there was no need. The boys were busy with the soldiers, shouting orders, firing their weapons, trying desperately to keep the police at bay. They scrambled around, frantic and scared, crying and shouting.
Chaos was everywhere, debris flying, wood splintering, the ground shaking. Javert carefully walked deeper into the barricade, no one casting him a second glance. He kept his head low, his eyes darting around, until he saw a finally broad back high on the barricade wall.
Javert's heart soared at knowing Valjean was still alive, his chest aching in joy. He wanted to race over, embrace him, to hold him, to pull him out of there and to safety.
All these fanciful thoughts drifted away like the snap of a mouse trap. Valjean was busy helping wounded boys, trying to carry them to safety. He wasn't paying attention to himself. A lone solider had climbed the barricades. No boy was covering Valjean.
Quickly, without thinking, Javert raced forward with all the speed he had.
"Valjean!" he shouted and the convict lifted his head. He barely had time to look surprised, barely had time to register what he was seeing.
The solider stood at the top of the barricade and Javert saw it in slow motion. The world around him was going frame by frame. The solider closed an eye and took aim at Valjean's chest. Valjean was still holding onto a young boy who had been wounded. His eyes followed Javert, who grabbed the nose of the gun and pointed it at his own chest.
A loud pop and the world was suddenly in fast motion again.
"Javert!"
…
Javert stumbled backwards, his head foggy. His throat clogged as he made his way down the barricade wall to solid ground. His knees shook uncontrollably but suddenly there were two strong arms around him as he sunk to the ground.
Javert looked up through glassy eyes to see Valjean's bright eyes wide with worry. He's worried…? Javert thought to himself. Why would he worry about me…?
"Javert…what…what are you…why did you…" Valjean was stuttering and stammering, his eyes wide and wild as he clung to Javert. He looked down, the blood stain spreading rapidly on the Inspector's usually pristine uniform front. "Oh god…its everywhere…" Valjean was sobbing drily, his breath frantic. Javert watched in fascination as Valjean worried over him. His heart was slow and his breathing was slightly staggered, but other than that he was fine. Valjean was alive. All was well. A soft thunder clap sounded and suddenly a gentle rain fell, lightly misting Valjean's hair. The convict held Javert closer, trying to cover the police officer from the rain with his own broad body. Javert wanted to laugh.
"Don't you fret…Monseuir le Maire…I don't feel any pain," Javert said softly, trying to stop Valjean's worrying. Javert laughed in his mind at Valjean's wide eyes at the name he used for him. Javert's first happy memories with this man were by that name. But no matter the name he used—Madeleine, 24601, Jean Valjean—the man was still the same, the love just as strong. "A little fall of rain will hardly hurt me now." Javert did laugh this time. He jerked slightly as the wound made it difficult for air to get through his body. "You're here. That's all I need to know." Javert smiled, knowing Valjean was safe. "You will keep me safe. And you will keep me close. And rain will make the flowers grow." The words trailed out of Javert's mouth in a sort of delirium as Javert was overwhelmed with joy and ecstasy, his mind clouding over some.
"But you will live, Javert! Dear god above!" Valjean cried, shaking Javert slightly, trying to keep him awake and aware. Valjean gazed at Javert's pale face, glanced at the wound in his chest. He sobbed again and shook his head. "If I could heal your wounds with words of love…"
Javert gazed at Valjean in surprise and confusion, hope buried deep within. They stared at each other for a long time, and Javert saw it. He saw love in Valjean's eyes. He wasn't doing this out of charity or kindness, no pity lay in those blue eyes. Just love and fear. Maybe not the kind of love Javert felt…but love all the same. Javert smiled in a kind of relief.
"Just hold me now, and let it be," Javert said, staring at Valjean imploringly. He coughed and blood trickled down his chin. "Shelter me…comfort me." The rain fell gently and Javert reached up to wipe a drop of water from Valjean's cheek.
Valjean grabbed Javert's hand and held it tight. "You would live a hundred years, if I could show you how," he spoke with intensity and with worry. Javert smiled slightly at the thought of living a hundred years with Jean Valjean. Valjean shook his head, his eyes never leaving Javert's. "I won't desert you now."
"The rain can't hurt me now," Javert reassured, entwining his fingers with Valjean's. The older man didn't look at their hands and didn't pull away. "This rain will wash away what's past." Javert wanted so dearly for it all to be forgotten; he wanted to forget that Valjean was a convict and he wanted Valjean to forget he was an officer. He felt the water against his skin, imaging the anger and the hatred and the betrayals and the violence and the lies all slipping away from them.
"The rain that brings you here is heaven blessed!" Javert said with a smile and so true it was. Fate brought them together; the rain allowed them this moment and had allowed Javert to realiz his true feelings. "The skies begin to clear… and I'm at rest." Javert closed his eyes briefly, but Valjean shook him slightly. He was getting tired…He continued to speak though, his voice growing softer and more far away. "A breath away from where you are. I've come home from so far..." Javert never in his life had had a home. He had been born in a prison, traveled around most of his young life and was too focused on work to actually stay in a house of his own. Right now, he knew home was in Valjean's arms. Home was wherever this man was. That's why he had chased him so fiercely all these years.
"Don't you fret…Jean Valjean…I don't feel any pain…" Javert said again, smiling slightly against the tightness of his chest.
"A little fall of rain…" Valjean said, returning the smile tightly. "Can hardly hurt you now." He put a hand to Javert's cheek, tracing small circles with his thumb soothingly on Javert's hot skin. "I'm here. That's all you need for now."
"And you will keep me safe. And you will… keep me close. I'll sleep in your embrace, at last," Javert said, leaning his head on Valjean's shoulder. Valjean smelled like sweat, bread and wood; and also something entirely unique to Jean Valjean. It was intoxicating to Javert as he rested, his heartbeat getting slower. He was just so tired.
Javert smiled to himself, allowing himself to imagine they were alone, somewhere far away. They were not inspector and convict, but simply Jean and Javert. They were together, as they had been forever. Valjean was holding Javert, smiling down at him, simply holding him. They were all they needed in the world and all they wanted. Javert's heart ached at the dream that cannot be.
"And you will keep…me safe…" Javert said, his voice getting quieter. "And you will—" He coughed, more blood pooling out of his lips. "…keep me close…" He gasped slightly. Valjean held him tighter, urging him to hold on, to stop speaking.
The older man used his thumb to wipe the blood from the wounded officer's chin and the corners of his mouth. "Hang on Javert…I will keep you safe…and I will keep you close…" Javert felt Valjean's heart beating erratically as he was held closer.
The corners of the younger man's vision were fading slightly. He looked up at Valjean, his love, and smiled. If only he had known sooner…
"And rain…will make the flowers…" Javert whispered, Valjean echoing his words as they brought their faces closer, almost as if they believed sharing a breath would keep them both alive. Javert and Valjean's lips touched, delicately, gently, perfectly, the rain making their mouths moist and cool. Javert smiled slightly into the kiss and relaxed.
Valjean pulled back, his eyes opening. His heart was pounded as the body in his arms slackened.
"…no…"
Valjean's eyes grew wide and he shook Javert slightly. No response. "No…no no no, Javert! Javert!" Valjean called but the Inspector did not move. The rain washed over Valjean, his heart tearing, ripping, bleeding. He buried his face in Javert's chest, ignoring the blood. Valjean sobbed loudly as the war raged on, shouts and cries, gun shots and cannon fires echoing around him. But he wasn't listening. All he wanted to hear was Javert's heartbeat, that's all he wanted to listen for, all he could hear. His world was silent.
Jean Valjean sobbed and cried, whispering gentle words into Javert's chest. He didn't think of the revolution, of the dying boys, of the soldiers, of Marius or his beloved Cosette; for this moment, his whole world was in his arms.
"I did not live until today. How can I live when we are parted?"
Thanks for sticking with it. It was a sad story idea, but the book IS very sad :( Hoped you've enjoyed it as much as I (partially) enjoyed writing it :) Review, favorite, follow, thanks again~