For Everything

To say that Mikan was upset was an understatement.

It wasn't because Natsume was cold. It was the exact opposite. Natsume was actually sweet.

They both sat on a bench in the park, watching the flowing river nearby. Ducks as well as various geese swam in the cool water. The storm wasn't that close to the city, but it was coming. The dark cloud that were seen from a distant made it evident. The sun was still shining above them, but she knew it won't be long until the dark clouds cover it.

"I don't know why you would want to meet in the park if it's about to rain," she started, breaking both of them from the silence.

She couldn't put her finger on it, but this meeting for the both of them didn't feel right. She felt nervous somehow. Looking at Natsume, he looked more composed. The same expression he always had while he casually threw small pebbles into the river.

That was something Mikan had always admired about Natsume. No matter where they were or what they were doing, he always looked relaxed. Since they both started dating, she experienced new things. Horseback riding was something she has never done before, but Natsume had taken her. Though they didn't stay for long, Mikan had enjoyed it. She was being taught by the trainers, so Natsume didn't stick with her. She didn't get to see him until they had to leave. She wanted to go back, but with Natsume. He looked so natural riding a horse and watching him for those few minutes made her want to get better so that one day they would ride together without any problem.

Seeing him now eased her nerves. It was something that he easily did and she was sure that he didn't know the affect he had on her.

"No. This is fine. We'll be able to make it home before the storm arrives," he replied as a gentle breeze grazed the both of them, lightly lifting up and making their hair flow.

"You know," she started, feeling very content of his response, "I was just thinking. Well, since next week is the last game for you, we could go out to celebrate a great season! My cousin owns a cafe and we can invite all–"

"We already have something planned," Natsume curtly replied without taking a glance at her. He threw in another pebble, looking as relaxed and stoic as he always does.

The next thing she knew, she's on her bed at home listening to the storm outside. Mikan didn't remember how she got home, but she realized that Natsume was right like always; she got home just before the dark clouds covered the city.

Blankly staring out of her window, her tears naturally flowed out. She couldn't stop no matter how hard she tried. She dismissed her mom when she was told that dinner was ready, stating that she already ate out with a friend. Wanting to be alone in her room was something she really desired. Being surrounded by familiar items felt soothing. But no matter how hard she was thinking things through, she couldn't understand why Natsume broke-up with her.

"Look, I really don't think this is going to work out."

She was confused by the statement at first, but the words came out so easily.

"Oh...um, so are we breaking up?"

"Yeah."

That was it. That's how it ended. Well, that's how Mikan remembered. Those words shocked her so much that she doesn't remember what he said afterward. Did he say something else? Did he say he was sorry? Did he looked as upset as she felt? No matter how hard she tried, she was very sure he entire mind blanked out after that.

Natsume was a great boyfriend. If she called him, he walked over to her. If she needed a favor, he'd do it without a second thought. He was very attentive to her, and he knew exactly how to take care of her.

They were together long enough for Mikan to practically know him inside out. He never said anything, but after denying her lunch for so long, he would eventually take it because if he didn't, his stomach wouldn't shut up. She knew exactly what he enjoyed eating. How he prefers the quiet than a room full of people. His odd preference of bitter chocolate over sweet. The way one of his eyes would slightly narrow whenever he would concentrate. His odd habit of ruffling his hair whenever something would bother him.

This list could go on.

But the one thing that Mikan didn't know about him is how his lips felt. After so long, they never once kissed. Not even on the cheek, which she thought was a little odd. Then again, they never held hand either nor hugged. During those months, that wasn't on her mind. Just being beside him made her happy.

But then everything made sense.

Weeks after the breakup, she understood. After knowing him for six months, she noticed that he wasn't acting any different than he had when they dated. He still easily talked to his friends, and even they acted like nothing was going on. When she waved at them, they waved back with a big smile which confused her. Didn't they know about their breakup?

It wasn't until she saw a group of girls with them, that she understood.

While grabbing her books from her locker, her eyes couldn't help but travel to them the moment she heard Natsume's deep voice. Looking over the edge of the locker door, she spotted all of them together once again. Koko would be laughing while Ruka would be putting his input while Natsume would be insult Tsubasa one way or another and Tsubasa would argue back. Normally, Kistuneme and Mochiage would be with them as well, but today was just the four of them.

Another laugh suddenly caught her attention and she noticed a group of girls walking towards them. They weren't strangers to her. She knew exactly who they were. One of the girls she knew because of how stunning she looks. Her beauty was to natural and envy worthy. She wasn't in the same classes as her, but from hearing people talk, she was very well know.

Luna. Her name matches the beauty she was born with. Her slight blonde hair made her blue eyes naturally pop out while her lips were just as naturally plump. Seeing her with them made Mikan feel a pang of jealousy.

And seeing how Natsume's eyes softened and followed her every move made it feel worse.

The look that he gave Luna was something new. Mikan never saw the expression that he was just making while he was with her. It was something new. Something that she realized that they had to be separated for her to experience.

The realization stung.

Closing her locker, she turned her back towards the large group and walked towards her next class. It wasn't until she sat down on her desk that she realized that she left her books messily piled on the floor in front of her locker.

Thinking back to her first year of high school, she was emotionally unstable after that; but did a good job at hiding it. Her grades stayed high, and her parents never knew she was upset about anything. Then again, she never told them she had a boyfriend so they were none the wiser. She had often heard and read that writing one's feeling down normally makes a person feel better.

Rereading the passages in her journal from back then was horrifying.

Mikan scrunched up her nose as her eyes read over the lines she had written herself two years ago. To think that she used to feel that upset to the brink of almost starving herself. It was embarrassing.

But Natsume was her first boyfriend, and the very first guy she felt like she truly liked, maybe even loved. She couldn't explain it. Though he didn't dote on her like the guys she would see in dramas or in the mangas, he respected her. He didn't brush her aside while they dated, except for that last week.

She couldn't hate him no matter how hard she tried to despise him.

Slamming her journal, she sighed. "Well, that's enough of my cringe-worthy past," she said to herself, placing the book down on her bed.

Looking around her room, she realized that her cleaning was basically done. After her mom had nagged her countless time about cleaning her room, she finally decided to get it done. She just never thought she would once again find her journal within a pile of old dolls, a few papers, and various pieces of plastic jewelry.

Her head hit her pillow as she aimlessly threw herself onto the light yellow sheets that covered her bed. Looking up at her the ceiling, various memories of when she dated Natsume flashed through her head. She actually wished to despise him just to make it easier for her to forget him, but she doesn't.

It also doesn't help that they are in the same class for three periods. He always sat farther away so they never talked since their breakup. As the school days went, so did his hair color. It was no longer shining black that it had once been. Throughout the school years, he began dying his color. For what reason, she doesn't know but as his color went from a very dark brown to a now dirty-blond color.

And it was no news that he and Luna were dating. He seems a lot happier, which is what Mikan wants for him, but it also stung. Seeing them side by side easily painted both of them as the perfect couple.

She let out a sigh, wondering why she was thinking about this all over again.

Months after the breakup, she felt like she didn't care. It didn't upset her to see him in the hallways, in the class when taking lessons, nor when she heard of the news of Luna and Natsume dating. That first year wasn't bad.

The second year was a lot better.

Mikan made new friends and was actually comfortable hanging out with them. Her confidence grew more, and with her new friends she was able to experience more than she ever did. During the summer, they all planned a summer outing out of the country and Mikan wished to go back once again.

Now a few months into the last year of high school, Mikan couldn't feel any happier. College entrance exams were just around the corner, and the thought of leaving her home was heartbreaking.

Letting out another sigh, her turned back to her old journal. She stared at it, wondering if she should just keep it or just throw it away.

"Mikan, Hayami is here for you," Yuka's voice penetrated into her room from right behind the closed door.

Sitting up, Mikan stretched out. "Alright. I'll be right down," she replied with a smile.

The loud cheering of the crowd filled the school field.

Mikan's honey colored eyes looked over at the field, watching the soccer players kick and pass the ball while trying to defend their own goal. The smell of the freshly cut grass as well as the food that was being offered during the game surrounded them, making Mikan wonder why she hadn't seen a game in a while.

She knew it wasn't because of the dirty-blond captain with the red eyes that skillfully passed the ball around, but something else.

Looking to her side, Hayami held his camera up against his face. One finger on the button that was always ready to take as many pictures as possible. She's never seen a guy so dedicated to a passion he's always had since middle school.

Looking back to the field, Mikan cheered as Tsubasa blocked an attempted goal.

"Hey, Hayami?" she spoke up against the crowd around her without looking at her friend.

"Yeah?" he answered, letting his camera go so it would freely hang around his neck.

"I'm surprised you are up here on the stands. I would have thought you would be down there with the rest of the press," she responded, looking over to a section near the field where anyone of the press are allowed to stay for closer shots.

Hayami looked over to a small group of reporters, both local and non local. A lazy smile took over his lips as he saw them attempt to take the same shot of Koko assisting Ruka. He couldn't help but let out a light laugh.

"Yeah, well, I don't want to be down their pushing through those guys just to get the perfect shot. Besides, I get the best shots from here. No one is blocking my view and my photographs will definitely be a lot different than those guys'," he replied, taking a hold of his camera once again to take another picture.

"Really?" Mikan answered, sounding a more skeptical than anything. She couldn't help but smile. She knew he was looking out for her. There were only a few people that knew of her and Natsume's relationship. Other than Natsume's friends, Hayami was the only one in her small circle of friends that knows.

Though it was a bit embarrassing, he found out on his own by finding her crying on her desk at school months after Natsume had broken up with her. They weren't friends at the time, so she found no reason to tell him why she was crying. A few comforting and supporting smiles later, she confessed everything to him. Since then, she found Hayami as someone she could trust wholeheartedly, even though he was part of the school 's Newspaper Club. As he had promised, he didn't tell anyone about it. Even to this day.

Glancing over at him, Mikan knew that he was still being considerate even now.

"So what's the other reason you invited me to come? It can't be just because of this game. I haven't done anything to help you out so far and you haven't told me to do anything, " Mikan said to him, turning her head away just as groans were heard from the crowd as Akira, or Tono as others called him, attempted to score but was blocked.

"What? How can you think I have some sort of ulterior motive? That hurts me, Mikan," her slightly blond haired friend responded without looking at her, feigning hurt.

Mikan couldn't help but smile. Hayami was definitely someone anyone could trust so easily. He would always put another person's feelings above his own. Though anyone would think people from the Newspaper Club would be a bit conniving and cold-hearted, Hayami wasn't. He would get his story, but he would expose enough so that the truth was known without anyone getting hurt in some way. It was contradicting, but that was just how he works.

She was glad Hayami had found her crying in that empty classroom that afternoon.