Dossier: Distraction – Kaidan Alenko

He was used to following orders he didn't like. But being ordered to the Normandy...that was different. He knew Shepard was the CO now, just like she'd been three years ago. He also knew that the ship was built by Cerberus and refitted by Alliance before recommission. What he didn't know was why it was recommissioned with Shepard commanding it.

He walked into the briefing room and saluted. Emilia Shepard was standing in front of the holographic projector, her arms folded. She was exactly like he remembered the last time he'd seen her on Horizon. He'd apologised for his words via email afterwards, but she never sent a reply.

"Reporting for duty, Commander."

Shepard turned around, surprise written on her face. "Kai...Alenko, what are you doing here?"

Kaidan dropped the salute. "Didn't Admiral Hackett inform you of your new crew roster?"

"Yes, but you weren't on it."

He frowned. "Oh. Well, I guess this was a surprise for both of us. Admiral Hackett transferred me three days ago."

"Well...glad to have you on my team again, Alenko." She returned his salute and turned around.

He hesitated. He knew that their relationship had been against regs, but he loved her and he wanted to know how she felt. "Commander...Shepard..."

Shepard turned around.

"I'm sorry. For what I said on Horizon. I"-

She shook her head. "Don't apologise. You already did that."

"No, ma'am, I need to. That was disgraceful of me to apologise by email. I should have found the time to find you, or at least get in contact with you via the comm. I was...I was hurt that you'd joined with Cerberus and didn't even try to find me."

Shepard walked over to him. "Kaidan, I did try to find you. As soon as I could, I got to the Citadel and asked Anderson where you were. He wouldn't tell me, saying it was classified. I asked the Illusive Man, I asked everyone who could have known. No one would tell me. And I didn't join Cerberus. I worked with them because the Alliance wouldn't have believed me. They thought I'd been dead for two years."

He nodded. "I know. That's why I'm sorry. I knew all that, but...it still hurt. Losing you...and then finding out Cerberus, of all people Cerberus, rebuilt you? Well, that's a lot to take in. Shepard...I couldn't move on after you."

"Kaidan"-

This time he shook his head. "No, Shepard, I need to say this. This..." he grinned, "is against regs, but I don't care. They can't enforce regs on people in love."

"I...I couldn't move on either. I wanted to, but I couldn't."

He nodded. "Now that that's settled, I'm going to go and find myself a spot before all the good places are taken."

He saluted and walked out. He could have left the Normandy and disobeyed orders, but he didn't want to. Not now that he knew how Shepard felt. In fact, Admiral Hackett couldn't have forced him to serve on the Normandy, or with Shepard: either because of their relationship; or because of the danger of the mission they were undertaking. But Kaidan knew that if that mission had any chance of success, it was with Shepard.

That was why he loved her.

[Welcome to my new story :) I have had this idea for a long time with bits and pieces of these chapters I'm posting all over the place but I finally decided I wanted to show it to the world. Or my fanbase equivalent hehe. I'm having a little trouble with Jack and Dr Chakwas. If you've got any ideas about a situation where I could get my Shepard to recruit them or some insight into their character, I'd love some help. Just PM or Review. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy my perspective of the characters.]