Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Thank you guys for reading and/or reviewing!
Penelope was strolling through the F.B.I. lobby waiting in line to get her badge scanned when she heard, "Look little man, I just need to see my nephew, and I'll be on my way."
"Ma'am, we can't just let you go up," Samuel, one of the security guards, said.
" I just want to see Derek Morgan." An older woman declared.
"Ma'am, unfortunately you're on a list and I cannot allow you to go up without an F.B.I agent to escort you. Now I would be glad to call Agent Morgan for you," Samuel tried explaining
"I want to surprise him," Mabel said as she drew herself to her full height.
Samuel sighed. He wasn't going to get anywhere with this woman who seemed large enough to take him in a street fight.
"I'll take her up with me," Penelope said with a smile. She had heard a few things over the years about Derek's Aunt Mabel. She'd even seen police footage from a police chase the woman was in. Her best friend respected his aunt and that was enough for Penelope to offer to bring the woman into the bull pen with her.
"Well thank you, little blond girl" Madea said while shooting the security guard a dirty look that had the man shrinking into his chair.
"Penelope are you sure?" Samuel asked warily.
"Of course, Samuel. And no problem ma'am. It would be my pleasure. I was going to drop something off to Agent Morgan anyway." Penelope said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"You don't need to call me ma'am. Just call me Mabel." Madea said glaring at the security guard.
Penelope looked at Madea and smiled. Penelope scanned her badge and both women boarded the elevator to take them to the BAU floor both watching the buttons light up as they passed each floor.
Madea tilted her head and looked at the woman standing next to her. She had heard her nephew speak highly of the technical analyst for years.
"So you're Penelope Garcia," Madea asked with a raise of her eyebrow.
Penelope's head quickly turned to face the woman. In astonishment, she asked, "How do you know my name?"
"There have been a few times that I have talked to Derek that he has mentioned you." Mabel said smirking to the woman.
"Good things I hope," Penelope said as she blushed prettily. She knew that Derek talked to his mom and sisters about her. She'd even met other relatives during the case with his cousin, Cindy, but she wasn't aware that he talked about her with any of his Georgia relatives.
"Peanut Head wouldn't shut up about you," Madea replied with a shake of her head.
"Peanut Head?" Penelope asked, snorting in amusement.
"The first time he shaved his head in the academy we noticed his head was shaped like a perfectly formed peanut." Mabel gave a snort of her own. "I'm just glad he shaved that afro. He was starting to look like Prince."
By the time the elevator doors opened they were laughing so hard tears where in their eyes. "I'm telling you Penelope, I tried to get him to sing 'Purple Rain' in a talent show once. It's a shame the boy couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket.".Madea said after she was able to control her laughter.
Mabel looked around the bull pen and Penelope hooked their arms together to lead her to her lair.
"Just follow me, Mabel." Penelope made a vow to sing every Prince song she could think of around Derek.
XXXXXXXXXX
Reid and Prentiss were sitting at his desk sharing a quick lunch. Emily almost dropped her plastic fork when she saw Penelope escorting a rather tall, gray haired woman wearing a floral print dress with a white ruffled collar.
Reid looked up from the book he was reading, glancing at Prentiss' face. "Prentiss, what's wrong with you?" Shrugging when he received no response, he followed her line of sight.
"I wonder who she is," Prentiss pondered aloud.
"She looks like someone's sweet grandmother," Reid remarked. "It also looks like they're headed towards Morgan's office."
Think she's related to Morgan?" Emily asked as she tried to profile the older woman's physical appearance.
"I don't know. The only real resemblance I see is the height. Maybe when she was younger Morgan looked like her."
"If that woman is related to Morgan, I seriously suggest you don't say that to her." Emily said with a hint of warning in the tone of her voice.
"Believe it or not, Emily, but I have gotten better with my social skills." Reid said as he watched The team's technical analyst and an older woman walk towards their desks.
Penelope and Madea walked towards them.
"Hey Reid, have you guys seen Morgan? I went by his office, and he wasn't there."
"Derek went to lunch with Savannah," Prentiss said, irritated The one time shemet Savannah, was not impressed. It mostly had to do with Emily betting an entire month's salary that Morgan wouldn't stay with her for more than a month and partly because she was hoping he would come to his senses and finally take Penelope out.
"Oh! Where are my manners? Guys, this is Mabel. She's Derek's aunt."
Reid was the first to speak. "Hi, Mrs-"
"Mabel, just call me Mabel." Madea looked at Reid, examining him, "Boy, why you so skinny? They don't have any food in Virginia?"
"Ma'am I just..I just have a high metabolism." Reid looked at the woman towering over him and trembled.
"High metabolism? It looks like the only thing you eat is air."
Prentiss had to stifle a chuckle. "Emily Prentiss," She said as she stuck her hand out for the older woman to shake.
"Well, what a nice name." Mabel said as she shook Emily's hand. "You need to make sure beanpole here eats. There is nothing like a woman that can cook a good meal for her man," Madea said as she eyed Spencer.
"Ma'am..uh...Mabel...I…no! Emily and I are just friends and co-workers. I would never-"Reid muttered as he awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets.
Emily looked at Reid and scowled. "What do you mean you would never?"
"I just mean that we're only friends and nothing more. I didn't mean - oh boy!" Reid babbled.
Madea shrugged and said, "Boy, you need to find a good woman. Preferably someone who can cook. Lookin' like you have to run around a shower just to get wet. Don't make no sense."
Prentiss laughed but immediately stopped. She shifted uncomfortably under Madea's gaze. "And what about you, Chuckles? You got someone to go home to?"
"N...No ma'am, Mabel… I am far too busy to have a serious relationship," Emily replied, looking thoroughly chastised.
"How hard is the F.B.I working you people? All of you are so damn busy," Mabel said with her hands on her hips."
"Well given the fact that we average two cases a week and are almost always on call with only three weeks a year of vacation time not including major holidays if we arent on a case, and there are five hundred, twenty five thousand, nine hundred and forty nine minutes in a year, we work four hundred, eighty eight thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes a year. So you see, Ms. Mabel, we barely have time to sleep, let alone date." Reid said without taking a breath.
Mabel looked down her glasses at Reid. "Well I know why you're single."
Penelope loved seeing the unflappable Emily Prentiss and the genius Doctor Reid, who had a propensity for all things logical, squirm in their seats. It was time for the teasing to end as lunch time was almost over.
Emily glanced down at her watch and said, "Boy where did the time go? We need to get back to our paperwork ma'am." When Reid stayed silent she kicked one of the legs of his chair
"Oh uh yes! We have mountains of paperwork. It was nice to meet you ma'am, Mrs- Madea" Reid said hastily.
Penelope gawked at the retreating forms of Reid and Prentiss. She focused her attention back to Derek's aunt who was sporting a smile and amusement in her eyes.
"Mabel would you like to come to my office with me? We can wait for Derek to get back." Penelope suggested.
"Sure. I need to talk to my nephew as soon as I can," Mabel said as she grabbed her purse.
Penelope slung her bag over her shoulder and led Madea to her office of all things digital.
"Wow, look at all these computers. You ain't scared that you're going to get cancer?" Madea asked while looking all over the room.
"Nah, I have read plenty of studies that debunk the cancer rumor. Plus doesn't everything cause cancer nowadays?" Penelope replied with a shrug.
Mabel laughed and said, "You're right. So what do you do with all these computers?"
"I find any and all the information the team needs." Penelope saw the slightly confused look on Mabel's face. "Okay, like this. I take your name-" Penelope typed a few commands on her keyboard. "And then I get all of your information like this."
The first thing to pop up on Penelope's screens was Madea's many mugshots. The two huddled reading all the information. Penelope's mouth dropped open when she saw how many assault charges the older woman had.
"Okay right here," Madea jabbed a finger at Penelope's large monitor. " Now I didn't harass no police officer. He harassed me. Asking me a whole bunch of questions that were none of his damn business."
"Wow for someone who's been arrested a lot, you've surprisingly served very little jail time." Penelope's mouth dropped open when she read all the charges. There was criminal trespassing, reckless endangerment, criminal possession of a handgun, assault with a deadly weapon, suspended license, expired registration, reckless driving and several offenses for broken taillights. Those were only the charges from the past ten years. Penelope's curiosity was piqued so she typed a few more commands and almost fell out of her office chair reading the rest of Madea's back ground.
Madea had been arrested for check fraud, illegal gambling, insurance fraud, and many vehicle thefts. What surprised Penelope was the most was how many times Madea had been married. She couldn't help but whisper, "Nine husbands all still living."
"What was that," Madea asked.
"I just...you were married nine times," Penelope said slightly dumbfounded.
"Yeah. I didn't have trouble getting a man. It was when I caught them they got on my damn nerves."
Penelope cocked her head to the side. She knew she was meant for marriage, and the white picket fence and a front yard full of healthy happy babies. The thing that bothered Penelope was in her last two serious relationships she never really saw herself settling down with them. The idea of having a child with Kevin was enough for her to turn down his proposal. It was true she didn't like change, especially if she was going to change for a man who smelled like maple bacon donuts and Old Spice.
Then there was Sam. He was tall, with dark hair and brown eyes and a was a sweet boyfriend. Anyone who would willing listen to hack her way through "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on the ukulele was worth having around. The problem was being with Sam wasn't exciting. There was no spontaneity in their relationship and it sometimes drove Penelope crazy that he left all the plan making to her.
She was lying to herself. It wasn't because Sam was somewhat boring. It was because he wasn't her best friend. She compared all the men she ever dated to Derek Morgan and every single one of them fell short. Derek was a complex and caring individual. Her very own superhero with Greek god like body. Those kids she imagined looked an awful lot like him.
What was she going to do? She didn't really want to talk to any of her teammates about this for fear it would get back to Derek, and she wouldn't dare talk to the man himself about it. She needed someone to talk to and process this. She finally let herself admit she was in love with her best friend that currently had a girlfriend
Penelope realized she must have been quiet for too long because Madea looked like she was studying the younger woman.
"Child, you look like you want to ask me something. Go ahead," she said while giving Penelope's hand a gentle pat.
"I- Well you see…" Penelope wasn't quite sure where to start. It was a life altering thing to realize you are in love with another man.
"Come on little blonde girl. Spit it out!" Madea said tapping her foot impatiently.
Penelope took a calming breath and began. "Mabel. I-" She sighed not knowing where to start.
"Lemme see if I can help you out because a woman only gets the look you have right now on your face because of a man. Are you having problems with yours?"
"You see that's the problem Sam is a wonderful man. He's kind and thoughtful. He really cares about me. He should be a perfect match for me but thats the thing….He's...uh kinda boring." Penelope felt horrible for voicing her concern about her relationship aloud. When the thoughts were safely tucked away in her own head she could ignore the guilt.
"Ah, I see," Madea said with a nod and a smile. "This same man isn't the biscuit to your gravy?
"What?" With a tilt of her own head Penelope looked at Madea utterly confused.
"He isn't the neckbone to your collard greens?"
"Okay what now? Neckbone of what exactly?"Madea huffed trying to explain to this girl what she was trying to say. "Her eyes searched around the room and finally she said, "He isn't the Captain to your Tennille. The Hall to your Oats."
"Oh! I know those ." Penelope giggled when she finally understood what Madea was talking about.
Madea rolled her eyes.
"But yes. He isn't the Captain." Penelope said it so dejectedly Madea felt sorry for the girl.
"Little blond girl we need to get you listening to something with a little soul in it." Madea said with a laugh.
"It's funny Derek says that all the time."
"So you and my nephew spend a lot of time together," Madea asked.
Once again, Penelope blushed. "Well Mabel, we are best friends and given the nature of our jobs we tend to spend a lot of time together hanging out and destressing from a case."
"Oh I see. So how long have you been in love with Derek," Madea asked pointedly.
Penelope froze. Her body felt heavy and her heart rate accelerated and she could hear blood whooshing in her ears. Her eyes went wide and her tongue felt dry.
"I'm not in love with Derek. He's just my best friend," Penelope squeaked.
Madea sighed in frustration.
"I don't know who you think you are fooling with that we are just best friends business. Lemme ask you a question." Madea said after cleaning her glasses.
Penelope only nodded and Mabel continued. "How much time do you really spend with my nephew?"
Penelope sat and thought about it. She chewed on her bottom lip trying to come up with an answer. Well before their last case that ended on a Friday, Derek called Penelope and they had movie night that turned into a movie weekend. Then Monday Sam cancelled his lunch plans with her so she knocked on Derek's office door and they went to a local diner where they shared a humongous milk shake. Tuesday they didn't hang out but Derek did call her in the middle of the night because he'd had a nightmare. Then Wednesday he brought her favorite coffee and hung out in her office for a while. Penelope looked at a smirking Madea.
"Okay so we spend a lot of time together. That doesn't mean anything. We're just best friends." Penelope wasn't sure who she was trying to convince at this point herself or the woman in front of her who wasn't buying her bullshit.
"Let me give you some advice. You saw with your own eyes how many times I've been married, so I know a thing or two about relationships. Stop settling for nice and go after who you really want because in the end you deserve to be happy and don't even worry about whether or not he loves you back because it's almost embarrassing how much he talks about you to Fran."
"He does?" Penelope blurted out.
"Child have you been listening to me," Madea asked with a huff.
"Of course I have. It's just-"
There was a knock on Penelope's office door effectively ending their conversation.
JJ was in a rush so she didn't even bother to open the office door. "Garcie roundtable in five."
"Mabel I do apologize it looks like we may have to cut our visit short. Do you want to wait here in my office or would you like to see if Derek has gotten here yet."
"I think I will go with you and check on that nephew of mine."
Penelope grabbed her laptop after putting her computers to sleep. She made a sweeping motion with her hand and asked, "Shall we?"
They walked into the bullpen just as Derek was arriving through the glass doors. Penelope almost doubled over in laughter as she saw how wide Derek's eyes got at seeing his aunt in the F.B.I building. She actually did laugh at loud as she saw he look to his left and his right to see if he could find an escape route before his aunt saw him. She then saw him turn and try to make a hasty retreat through the glass doors to reach the bank of elevators.
She actually crowded with laughter when she heard Mabel loudly and harshly ask, "Young man, where the hell do you think you're going?"
Next chapter coming soon.
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