Author's Note: School's tough and Halloween's coming soon, which you probably already know…thank you for the reviews! You have no clue how great it is to receive six reviews when you didn't even expect one :D
By the way, sorry Lauren's so sensitive- I guess that's one of the few things she has in common with me ;)
EDIT: Spelling again, and inconsistencies were fixed…
Stranger Than Fiction
Chapter Two: A Convoluted Explanation
Lauren blinked. "Is that all?"
Ed gave her a look. "What do you mean 'is that all'? I have a metal arm!"
"Sure you do…never mind; I'll just go phone up the local sanitarium..." Lauren sighed, getting up and grabbing the phone book and nearby telephone.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you." Ed called from his position on the couch. "I was hoping not to resort to this, but I guess I have to."
Slightly bothered about this 'last resort', Lauren nevertheless flipped through the phone book and, after finding what she had been looking for, started dialing.
"This enough for you?"
She turned around to face him. "Listen you, I've had just about en-"
His entire right arm was missing. It was obvious that it was mechanical, and distantly she realized he must have disconnected it. Lauren dropped the phone, which landed on the floor forgotten.
Oh…my God.
Uncomfortable, Ed moved to pick up the phone. She scrambled back away from him, only to find herself blocked by the kitchen counter.
"I'm sorry," He said quietly, not quite able to meet her eyes. "But do you believe me now?"
"Lauren! How are you and the guest getting along?" Monica trilled, thumping down the stairs in her typical one-legged-elephant way.
Reacting purely on instinct, Lauren did the first thing that came to mind. She grabbed him and his coat and quickly pushed him into the nearby basement, closing the door quickly. At that moment, Monica entered the kitchen in her normal chaotic way.
"Hey, where'd he go?" The eighteen-year-old blinked, doing a cursory check of both the kitchen and living room.
"Umm…he's gone." Lauren replied hastily. "He said something about needing to get back home…he might come back later though." She tacked the last part on as insurance. Knowing her luck, something as small as that might save her from Monica's quizzing later on.
"He lives nearby?" Monica raised an eyebrow. Out of the corner of her eye, Lauren noticed Ed's mechanical arm lying on a nearby table. Inching away cautiously from the basement door, she discreetly picked it up and hid it behind her back.
"Yeah, he does." Lauren lied, nodding earnestly. "He…he said something about it being a rather convenient coincidence…"
Monica gave her a searching look. "Oh?" Lauren nodded.
"Well, okay then!" He older sister replied cheerfully. "That's good; I didn't think you guys would hit it off so well- makes my job a bit easier."
Slumped over from relief; Lauren let Monica's last sentence fly in one ear and out the other.
Then it registered. "Hey!"
There was a furious thumping sound from downstairs.
"What was that?" Monica asked worriedly, moving to open the basement door. Lauren blocked it.
"It was Klaus, he…umm…raided the Pocky." Lauren explained.
"WHAT?! You're kidding me- I'm going to hurt that cat so badly he won't be able to eat anything for a week!" Monica snarled, reaching for the doorknob in a manner reminiscent of a charging bull.
"Oh, I already did," Lauren said, blocking her. "Painfully." She added as an afterthought. Monica seemed to accept this, walking away while angrily muttering something about nightshade and catnip.
Slowly sliding down to sit on the floor, Lauren had never been more grateful that her older sister was the most gullible person in existence.
Turning her attention back to what had been the whole source of her stress, Lauren slammed open the door and stalked down the stairs.
---
Caught off guard, Ed just barely managed to grab the railing before the door closed and he was left in almost complete darkness.
"Hey, where'd he go?" Stiffening, Ed tried his best to stay as still and as quiet as he could.
"Umm…he's gone. He said something about needing to get back home…he might come back later though."
"He lives nearby?"
Dammit…she might see my arm! He realized belatedly. The sound of footsteps indicated that apparently Lauren had also thought of that.
"Yeah, he does. He…he said something about it being a rather convenient coincidence…"
You can say that again…
"Oh?"
There was a short silence.
"Well, okay then!" Ed sighed, relieved. "That's good; I didn't think you guys would hit it off so well- makes my job a bit easier."
Before he could ponder the meaning behind that last sentence, he felt something rubbing up against him; something small and…furry?
Jolting, he hastily scrambled backwards and fell over the side of the railing, landing in a pile of old carpeting.
---
Her basement wasn't the sort you'd expect to see in her house. While the upper floors were clean, neat and nicely taken care of, the basement was half-finished and always messy. Concrete floor covered by the occasional beaten-up rug, couches at least two decades old (if not more) and looking every bit their age, boxes full of junk that time forgot…if it weren't for the sleek new electronics such as the TV and video games, you could almost dismiss it as a time capsule.
"Okay, what the hell was that about! I almost had to…" She stopped in mid-rant, noticing the decidedly not-pleased expression the alchemist was currently sporting.
"Damn…cat…" He murmured. Putting two and two together, Lauren glanced up the stairs. Sure enough, an orange cat was perched at the very top, preening and looking very contented indeed.
"Oh…well, that explains a lot…"
"Damn well it does." He muttered, standing up and dusting himself off (which was odd to watch, considering he only had one hand…). "Do you believe me now?"
"Hmm?" She replied, pretending to fuss over the now untidy mess of carpeting. Lauren really didn't want to answer; mostly because she didn't have a clue what her answer should be. She was half-surprised she wasn't hyperventilating, to be honest.
"Do you believe that I'm Edward Elric?" He asked bluntly and with the utmost seriousness, obviously not planning to beat around the bush.
She clenched a piece of the carpeting. "I…"
There was an awkward silence as Lauren searched for the words to sum up her current feelings.
"I'm sorry, I don't want this anymore then you do." He replied hurriedly, holding his hand up in a placating gesture.
She sighed, dropping the carpet. "If what you say is true, this means I'll have to deal with a whole truckload of problems I just can't face right now…if not, I'll look like a bloody fool with her head cut off, blindly following whatever lie someone tells me…"
Frustrated and realizing she'd screwed up, Lauren furiously brushed away a few tears that had begun to form. "Look…I'm sorry; I'm really…I…that was uncalled for."
"No, it's alright." He sighed.
"No, it's not alright." She massaged her forehead, inwardly berating herself for being both a jerk and crybaby. It seemed it didn't take much for her to fall apart; she'd done exactly the same thing during exams the previous year.
After a moment or two, she continued on with an almost pleading tone to her voice. "I think I believe you, but there are tons of people in this world who could help you better then I could. You understand, don't you?"
"How far do you think I'll get?" he asked.
She gave him an uncertain look. "What?"
"I mean, how long will I last? If you just barely believe my story, do you think someone else will?"
"Well, I hate to say this…but is it really my bloody business?" She replied hesitantly.
"I'M HOME!"
"Oh no, it's Jared!" Lauren swore, grabbing his arm and ducking underneath the stairs.
"Who the hell is Jared?!" Ed snapped, having had just about enough of being yanked, pulled and pushed out of sight all the time.
"Jared's my little brother; he's obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist, way to smart for his own good and crazy to boot." Lauren said in a low voice.
"Lauren? Are you down there?" He called.
"Oh no…if he sees you, he'll…I don't know what he'll do!" Lauren whispered anxiously.
"I guess this means you believe me now." Ed said sarcastically.
"He'll hear you!" Lauren hissed, but was too late.
"Who're you talking to Lauren?" The stairs creaked as Jared presumably made his way cautiously down them.
"No one, I'm talking to myself!" Lauren replied loudly, and then turned back to Ed. "Okay, I'll stall my brother and you hide."
"Where?" He pointed out. Lauren grimaced, realizing he was right.
"Lauren…?" Apprehensive, Lauren slowly turned around to face her brother. At 4"8' with messy black hair and bright blue eyes, the scrawny twelve-year-old usually wasn't what you'd normally call formidable.
"Uh, hi." She laughed nervously. "How was Jimmy?"
Jared gave her a strange look. "He was fine, why do you care?"
"Oh, nothing, I just…wanted to know how he was doing!"
"I'm doomed." Ed sighed.
Jared tried to peer over her shoulder, which was kind of hard to do since he was a foot smaller then her. "Who's that behind you?"
"Nobody, just a friend." She answered quickly. "Why don't you get some soda from the fridge? Mom bought Dr. Pepper, and you love that stuff…"
But Jared's gaze stayed fixated on Ed. "He's missing an arm."
Lauren didn't quite know how to respond to that.
Jared sighed. "Oh, c'mon Lauren, I might wear glasses but I'm not blind. What sort of guy hides behind a girl anyway? What sort of guy can hide behind a girl?"
She barely managed to hold Ed back as he went into one of his…ah…'vertically challenged' rants.
"I…found him?" She offered, after Ed had finished his rampage.
The eyebrow went up. "Where?"
"Side of the road."
"How?"
"Monica."
"Mmm."
"Why are you treating me like I'm not here?"
"Edward Elric, right?"
"Uh…well, there's a funny story about that…"
"Just answer the question."
"…Yes."
"I am still in the room, last time I checked."
"Cool!"
Lauren blinked. "…Huh?"
"You mean he's the actual one-and-only Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist and older brother of Alphonse Elric?"
Now it was Ed's turn to blink. "Yeah, I am."
There was a pause.
"That's so cool."
Lauren exploded. "What the hell do you mean, 'that's so cool'?! YOUR OLDER SISTER NEARLY RAN OVER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER CURRENTLY SITTING IN THIS ROOM!"
"Yeah, so?"
Lauren flopped down on the couch, too frustrated to continue the conversation.
"What's with her?" Ed asked, puzzled with Lauren's extreme behaviour.
Jared snorted. "It's okay; she just has to make a big theatrical production over everything. She's probably the most sensitive person alive."
"I AM NOT!"
"See?" Jared laughed.
"Lauren!"
Said fifteen-year-old immediately jumped to her feet. "Oh no, it's Monica again! Quick, hide!"
Jared rolled his eyes. "Come off it Lauren, it's not like the sky's falling."
"No, you don't understand!" Lauren replied rapidly, looking every which way for a good hiding spot. "The less people who know about this, the better; Monica thinks Ed's some sort of over-obsessed anime fanboy, and I'd like to keep it that way! Can you imagine what she'd do if she found out the truth?!"
Jared shuddered. "Unfortunately, yes. You could try the laundry room."
"Why didn't I think of that?" She replied exasperatedly.
"Because nobody ever goes in there?" Jared suggested wryly, pushing Ed into said room. Both siblings immediately leapt onto the nearby couch, turned on the TV and tried to look as casual as possible.
"Lauren, who are you talking to?" Monica questioned, coming down the stairs
"Jared's home; and he wanted to tell me…about…something…" Lauren replied, trying to sound bored.
"I wanted to tell her about a movie I saw," Jared explained, giving her a look. "it was about some girl who overreacted when she met some famous guy."
Monica blinked, but then laughed. "Okay, sorry for sounding so paranoid. This evening sure has been a weird one so far. Are you going out trick-or-treating soon? Sarah couldn't hold her Halloween party at her home, so I invited her to have it here."
"Monica! Mom and Dad will kill you!" Lauren frowned.
She winked. "Not if they don't find out. I have to go over to Amanda for some supplies, so I'm leaving you to ponder the meaning of life." And with that, she practically glided upstairs.
"Oh no, I can see how this'll end up." Jared said calmly. The doors to the laundry room burst open in a cloud of dust, as a dirty and spider web covered alchemist stumbled out coughing.
"When was the last time you cleaned that place?" Ed asked hoarsely, finding himself once again dusting himself off.
"Dunno; I remember cleaning it before we got Klaus, so that would be…seven years ago?" Jared wondered aloud.
"Why does it matter! Do you have any idea what this means?! We. Have. Edward. Elric. Standing. In. Our. Living. Room!" Lauren retorted.
"Yeah, but the question is whether or not you'll allow him to stay." Jared answered.
That stopped her. "What? I…I can't-"
"Excuse me?" Both Lauren and Jared turned to look at Ed, who wasn't looking very pleased.
"I know this is your decision to make, and I normally won't ask this of anyone, but I haven't got a choice. This is almost a completely different place from the one I came from, and I don't know the first thing about how to live in it." He turned to leave, and then stopped to say one more thing.
"If you want to give me a straight answer, I'll be upstairs." And with that, he went up the stairs and out of sight. The door slammed shut behind him.
After a moment, Jared sighed. "You do realize that if you don't let him stay, there's no telling what could happen to him."
"He can stay." Lauren replied, clenching her hands.
"That's not going to be easy either. Best thing to do would be to just tell Mom and Dad-"
"No way! They'll tell everyone, and then Ed…" She stopped.
Jared looked at her accusingly. "What, he won't be a secret anymore? Grow up Lauren; this isn't one of those sick fangirl fantasies. This is real."
"I know that!" She snapped. Then the anger seemed to drain out of her. "Do you realize what will happen if some scientist or the government finds out? Who knows what could happen to him. At worse, they could decide to dissect him and examine every inch of him piece by piece…What if they didn't consider him real? What if they experimented on him?"
Jared sighed. "Then there's the fact that you'll need to teach him a lot...I mean, there's almost a one hundred year difference between his time and this one among other things."
"I can't! That might mess up his world! He's not even supposed to know this stuff, what happens if he -accidentally or not- ends up telling someone else and screws up history!"
"You can't keep him isolated forever." Her brother argued. "Face it; people are going to become suspicious if he doesn't know things like what a microwave is. If you want to keep him a secret, he has to learn this stuff, and he has to learn it fast."
---
The only sound to be heard was the sound of the kitchen clock ticking and the humming of the fridge. These sounds were strangely comforting to Ed, probably because they were to some extent familiar.
He was sitting on a kitchen stool at the very end of the counter, tiredly gazing out the nearby window. Luckily, Monica had already left when he had come up. Now he was just waiting…
I wonder how Al's doing…
Of course, it didn't help that he still couldn't remember how he had gotten here in the first place, except that he'd hit his head somewhere along the way. Rubbing the spot, he reflected that he should probably find some bandages and clean it up.
What am I thinking? I should just move on. It's obvious I can't stay here…
There was the sound of creaking stairs, and a door opening and closing. Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw Lauren place his automail arm a metre away and sit down on another kitchen stool. He couldn't help but notice that she was sitting as far away from him as possible.
"You can stay."
He relaxed, having hardly noticed he was tense to begin with. "Thank you."
"You'll have to learn a few things though, mostly of the historical, cultural and economical persuasion. Jared volunteered to help you with a bit, but he said it was 'my bloody problem', so I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together."
He sighed. "Fine by me, I guess."
Then she seemed to remember something. "Oh, and just to warn you, I'm going out trick-or-treating with my brother in a few minutes. I'm afraid you'll have to come along, because my sister's hosting a party and I'd rather keep you as far away from her as possible. She gets kind of…well, parties make her rather excitable."
"Okay, I guess that's fine too."
"And another thing, would you…uh…"Lauren seemed to hesitate for a moment, as Ed gave her a curious look.
She lowered her head, embarrassed. "Um…well…could you put your arm back on? I'm sorry, but it…kind of…never mind."
He blinked. "Sure."
"Thank you!" Lauren said, relieved. "I've got to go up and change. When I come back down, I'll make dinner for you and Jared."
And before Ed could thank her, she was gone.
---
A few minutes later, she came downstairs wearing a long black dress and a pointed hat. Lauren wasn't the greatest when it came to making costumes, so she had just opted to dress up as a witch. It was simple, she already had the materials, and it looked relatively decent. Relatively being the key word.
"Now all you're missing is the cat, the wand and the broom." Jared said bluntly.
"Shut up, I don't have a lot of money to spend right now." She mumbled, rummaging in the fridge for something. A few minutes later, Lauren pulled out a plate with two pieces of pizza, and put them in the oven. Carefully adjusting the temperature, she closed the door, leaned against the counter and sighed.
"Do you want a coke or something?" Lauren finally asked.
"No, I'm alright." Ed replied quietly.
His stomach grumbled. Lauren rolled her eyes and pulled out a can of soda. Only seconds later, she placed a glass full of coke in front of him. He gave her a questioning look.
"Drink it." She said firmly, and was surprised when he did.
"Thanks." He smiled, and Lauren felt a lot less guilty.
"No problem."
---
Jeez, they really are tip-toeing around each other now, aren't they? Sure was difficult to write though. Next chapter: Ed gets a crash course in Halloween and trick-or-treating. Believe it or not, I have more of a plot planned out then the typical 'how-would-it-be-if-FMA-met-real-life' sort of thing; I suppose the whole reason I started to write this was because I'm to darn curious for my own good :)