Before Good-bye (La fin de l'innocence)
Summary: The war is over in the wizarding world but not in her heart. Ginny lives with Harry, but she dreams of another. A game of lust is keeping a clandestine relationship she started in her last year at Hogwarts alive. Is there no happy ending to the fairytale?
Warnings: triangle (Harry/Ginny/?), angst, pre-existing relationships.
Chapter One
Before the Dawn
Three months earlier.
Fog was slowly dispersing over the garden, revealing long rows of daffodils, a few roses scattered in the grass, and the distant poplars that guarded the surrounding fence. No sound could be heard as the sun continued to rise slowly into the sky, casting away the shadows in which the small house had been submerged. A squirrel crossed the garden in the blink of an eye, climbed the shabby fence, and disappeared on the other side.
Ginny Potter brought the cup of steaming coffee to her lips, lost in thought. She had to admit that the view was breathtaking, even if she did not particularly like the garden or the house she was living in. She had never been too happy about moving into this cottage, but Harry had insisted upon living a simple life, similar to the one the Weasleys had lived at the Burrow. Harry supposed that she would be thrilled to be so close to her family, who were just one mile up the road. But from Ginny's point of view, it was a bad choice. It was not that she had not spent a happy childhood at the Burrow, but there were things she preferred to be different now.
As the child of a large family, she had always fancied living abroad — or at least living in the heart of the city. She had sometimes dreamt of living in a luxurious mansion. But of course, Harry and she could not afford such a place to live. As a professional Quidditch player, she earned a decent amount of money — way more than Harry, who was a Ministry employee — but they weren't rich. Plus, she knew that Harry had his summers at the Burrow enjoyed more than anything else and as long as this was part of making him happy, she would never complain about living in this house.
She would never complain about anything.
She never complains about the danger Harry puts them in with his vendetta against the Death Eaters.
She pretends she's OK with the fact that he is almost never at home and that when he does come home, he arrives in the middle of the night.
She prefers to turn a blind eye her family's reproaches concerning Harry's attitude.
She just lets him be, because Ginny knows that since the war Harry has never been himself. Voldemort seemed to have taken some of Harry with him when he died. Harry had not found his place or peace after the war was over. Ginny had hoped that Harry would be hers at last when the war was over. She should have known better: Harry had belonged to the Wizarding world even before he had been born. He had been their hero. He would always belong to them.
However, in those moments of peace in which she so rarely indulged before Harry came down to the kitchen for breakfast, she dreamt of forbidden things that had happened a long time ago, like in a dream, like in another life. She dreamt of someone else who seemed to have belonged to her for a little while.
She had sworn she'd never think about her seventh year at Hogwarts. She preferred to think about the pain that followed, about the moment her lover left her to continue with his life. She wanted to think about his cruel jokes and his coldness when she begged him to stay. She would like to curse her weakness. Instead, all Ginny could remember was the passion of their embraces, the sweetness of his kisses, and the ardent, possessive feeling that welled up in her soul whenever they secretly met.
Ginny put down her mug and opened the window to a post owl that soared in and dropped The Daily Prophet. She anxiously turned the pages and found a new picture of him at some dinner party. Yesterday's edition had been interesting; there had been a whole page dedicated to him and his lovely fiancée. The prodigal son had finally decided to come back home after more than four years of absence. Ginny sighed deeply. Why did he have to be ten times more gorgeous than she remembered him? How was she supposed to forget him if he was on the cover of every magazine?
She threw the Prophet on the table angrily.
Fortunately, it was unlikely their paths would cross again. He was way out of her league.
Moreover, of what consequence could his return be to her now when she is happily married to Harry?
The bird suddenly pinched her hand, in a desperate effort to attract her attention and get paid.
Ginny scowled slightly and reached for her bag.
It is amazing how people manage to get over things that seem so important to them at a certain moment and then just go on with their lives.
She opened the window for the owl, which disappeared instantly from sight.
Well, most people, she thought instinctively. I cannot apparently. I seem to indulge in unhealthy obsessions.
She returned to her coffee and was soon lost in thought. A short time later, she heard Harry descending the narrow staircase. She could picture him even before he even emerged into the kitchen: his ruffled hair, his weary green eyes, the slight frown of concentration between his eyebrows, as he was trying to find a solution to a complicated case. When he was dealing with a complicated case, Harry was usually so preoccupied that he didn't seem able to think about anything else. Immediately after their graduation, the Ministry Department of Magical Law Enforcement recruited Harry to become an Auror. It was what suited him best. It was also something that Harry had been looking forward to ever since he had defeated Voldemort. Harry was so eager to finish school and start working for the Auror's office that he refused any offer to play professional Quidditch. His choice had not surprised Ginny, nor had it upset her.
But his continuous wild goose chase did. After the war, retribution against remaining Death Eaters had turned into obsession for many families whose relatives had been killed, and since personal revenge was against Ministry rules, the Auror's department had taken the task of tracing the former Death Eaters and bringing them before the Wizengamot.
It was a daunting and difficult mission for the Aurors who had no guarantee they would make it safe back home each day.
It was Ginny's nightmare, considering that Harry was taking this task much more personally that he should have had.
Harry strolled hurriedly into the kitchen, fastening his robes. His eyes darted around the kitchen counter looking for the cup of coffee that Ginny prepared for him every morning.
"Good morning, love." he muttered, sighing contently when he found it. "I did not mean to wake you up last night. I am sorry."
He drank his coffee in a few gulps and smiled ruefully to her.
She did not know what came over her suddenly. Ginny never reproached him anything.
"It was three in the morning, Harry. I am not even sure I want to know where you had been this time," she pointed out.
"We had one of Greyback's men trapped. I did not want to waste the opportunity, Gin."
"And I am not sure if I want to know why your clothes were stained with blood again."
Harry's head snapped in her direction. He looked stunned.
"Don't tell me that Kingsley ordered you to go after that werewolf in the middle of the night."
Harry held her stare for just a second. Then he lowered his gaze, and the ghost of a smile was on his lips.
"Why are we having this conversation? Did I make you mad?"
"We will be having this conversation over and over until you will stop doing this to us — until you stop putting yourself in mortal danger every day and every night," she said, a bit amazed by the way Harry was taking her words.
"Come on, Gin, you know I can't give up. Not now, when we are so close."
Ginny banged her cup on the counter, almost breaking it. She fell into an obstinate silence, her eyes on the daffodil rows, until Harry gave up, put his own mug away, and turned towards the door.
"I will be late again tonight. I'm sorry." He felt her irritation and preferred to leave her alone.
She did not reply. As he prepared to exit, Harry's gaze caught the title of the article she was reading and stopped on the doorway.
"Actually, Gin, he invited us to his engagement party tonight." Ginny's head snapped in his direction. "Who would have believed he would be back? And so soon! It's been what? Three years?"
Four. Four long years, Ginny thought feverishly.
"We should go. Everyone will be there," Harry said softly.
"Why do you think he invited us?" she asked still not looking at him.
"Maybe he's trying to be nice."
Nice was never a word she could associate with him. He had something on his mind, she was sure of it.
Harry was already out of the door and did not hear Ginny's mug making contact with the floor and breaking into small bits.
When was her past going to leave her alone?
A/N: Ok, so it's been already two years since I have started to read Harry Potter fanfiction and there will be soon two years since I started to write my first fic Lord Voldemort and the Heir of Slytherin. To celebrate, here's my gift to Harry/Ginny fans. I hope you will enjoy this story and you'll put up with my bad grammar (you might have noticed that I am not an native English speaker) and my delays in updating. Fortunatelly, I have a great beta who will give me a hand with the editing, so thanks again, Lisa, I am very grateful for your help.
Please let me know what you think about the story, don't hesitate to review, this story is for Harry/Ginny fans and you have all the right to say what you think.
CdL