So...I have kept my promise. It is mid July and I have started this sequel. Like I mentioned, I will be updating about one a week...sometimes more if I am able, but please be patient and review. I love to hear from you and it really helps to keep me motivated. Oh, and check out my other story that I am writing as well, 'Worthy of Love' if you have the time. Please and thank you! :D

*Note: you may be a bit surprised by the POV of this chapter. I know you are all used to a certain pattern, but please don't rip me apart and burn my limbs! I am only a helpless fan fiction writing who had to do it! :S

OUT OF SIGHT

Chapter 2

Depths of Despair

Devan's POV:

A few weeks had passed since my twin sister's death. I refused to see her body and demanded that Seth take care of her cremation. Carlisle and Edward made sure my wishes were carried out. I don't think either one of them was going to disobey me at a time like this. Silver would have understood why I couldn't see her. And Seth was like family. She was in good hands.

The only thing that keeps me breathing is my Edward. Without him, my heart would have stopped along with Silver's.

We didn't have a funeral. Silver had never wanted one. When our parents died she hated the funeral. She had ranted and raved about it afterwards and how she would never have one when and if she died. I wish I would of listened more closely to her death wishes at the time. It had been too hard to take back then. I could never imagine losing her.

Now, I had no idea what she had wished for from us as her family. Sliver would have wanted us to be happy and move on. 'Nothing can change the past,' she would always say. And that is how she would carry on through life. Living in the present, forever cheerful.

But, I was not like Silver. I could not find comfort in knowing that past could not be changed. It was like a dagger cutting me deep when I thought of how I should have seen her death coming sooner and made a better effort to protect her.

She was gone and I would never get to tell her how truly sorry I was.

All I knew is that Silver didn't want a mourning place for her loved ones to grieve. This meant no funeral, no memorial, and no burial. It was as if her death had not happened and she had just disappeared. I was not sure if I was doing the right thing not holding some sort of memorial for her. I am sure there were people who thought I was being selfish and in denial over it. The whole town thought she had died of exposure in the was the easiest explanation.

Silver would have demanded me to 'just move on and be happy'! But how could I ever be happy again? I was half a person without Silver.

*

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"Devan, you need to eat something," Edward coaxed me. This was his 4th attempt and he now had a tray of spaghetti and garlic bread in his hand. It was kind of him and Esme to try to make my favorite foods, thinking I would be more likely to eat it if I liked it, but the truth was that anything that once tasted good to me, reminded me of eating it with Silver and I couldn't stand it.

The smell of the garlic bread made me nauseous. I put my hand on the tray and gently pushed it away and shook my head. I just couldn't eat. It felt wrong to eat when that had been one of Silver's favorite activities.

My mother came into the room. I didn't want to look at her. I could see her come to stand next to Edward. She had barely spoken since that day. One of her children was dead. This was her worst nightmare too. I knew she must have been thinking about John, her little baby boy who died when she was human. I tried very hard to not cry in front of Esme.

"Sweetheart. Please try a few bites. Or if this is not what you want, I can go to the store and get you something else. You have to eat. Just a few bites," she whispered, pleading with me. Her soft, cool hand placed on my back. I wanted so badly to please Esme.

She was reliving her worst nightmare and she was still only thinking of my best interest. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She had been cooking for me for the last week and a half and I kept turning the food away.

I looked to the tray Edward held and very slowly and consciously took the piece of bread from its plate and brought it to my mouth. I did not want to bite into it. I practically shuddered as I sank my teeth into the warm, butter-melted toast. I chewed slowly, doing my best not to make a face, but the taste was too much.

I dropped the remaining hunk of break back onto the plate and forced myself to swallow, my hand covering my mouth as a precaution. Edward put everything aside and held me.

"I'm sorry. I just can't. Not right now," I mumbled so softly a human would not have heard me. Esme stroked my hair.

"Of course, Darling. That's all right," she murmured back. I heard the sadness in her voice even though she was sounding pleasant. She was trying so hard to lessen my pain. I wish it could have worked. For her sake more than my own.

I sighed heavily. My throat felt thick and my head ached from lack of sleep, poor diet and crying. Edward held me closer and I thought I felt him rocking me ever so slightly. My eyes were half open and half closed. I rarely slept, but it was like I was blind as I stared into nothingness. It wasn't until I heard a 'thud' and I startled from my hypnotic trance.

"Emmet!" Edward hissed. I sank back down into his arms, but looked over to see what had made the noise. Emmet had gone out and bought a whole bag full of my favorite DVD's and dropped then on the coffee table. I looked to the bag then up at Emmet's sad face. He missed Silver terribly as well. It never bothered me that she had been his favorite.

"Thank you, Emmet," I said weakly, my voice cracking from staying silent too long. I felt Edward's eyes on my critically, worrying about me. I hated that. I was making him worry. I was making them all suffer more than they already were. It felt like my grief was center stage and that was not right. I couldn't see my way out of this, though.

Every time I cried I felt horrible for doing so. None of my vampire family members had that luxury. And it was a luxury at times. I could not contain the pain and so it leaked out. I wondered how my family was letting their pain out.

The one horrible thing about crying, though, was that I was so alone in the action. No one cried with me. All they could do was watch. I knew they could cry without tears, but they never did in front of me. But I could sometimes hear Esme or Alice weeping when they thought I was asleep.

And Jasper had it the worst of all. He tried so hard to be around to help sooth my sadness, but it was taking a toll on him. I was not just sad. I was in the deepest pit of depression of my life and he that was not something he had ever wanted to feel again. I was bringing him back down and that was not fair.

Nonetheless, Jasper would come by me when I was too tired or too weak to function and I would slip into a calmer way. It never lasted. I knew that he could not induce me with pleasant serenity forever. He had told me so much himself.

'She has to be allowed to grieve, Edward,' I had heard Jasper say one night when I had been particularly hard to sooth. Edward was furious that Jasper refused to continue shielding the sorrow that, as soon as he let go control of my emotions, came rushing back to me at full force.

I knew Jasper was right. It was a cheat for him to make me feel okay. It was not real. I was not okay. I was far from okay. I was less a person without Silver. With her gone, I felt like I had half a soul. 'How will I ever recover my missing soul?' I wondered. I figured Edward was wondering the same thought at times, from the way he looked at me.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Emmet asked, his voice hopeful he would be the one to cheer me up and break the spell that Silver's death had put on our once happy family. I glance up from face to face. Everyone was there. Even Carlisle, who had slipped in unnoticed from his shift at the hospital.

I so wanted to be normal for them. They knew death far better then I did. They were able to accept this as a part of the mortal world. I could not. I did not want to live without Silver. Death was too final. And this was the first time it really frightened me. 'How will I survive this?' I wondered every second of every day.

Sure, our biological parents had been killed in a skiing accident and then our grandmother had passed from old age, but that was different than losing my sister. Our parents had not been hands on parents. They had left Silver and I so they could work and travel. We only saw them on weekends occasionally and holidays. They had been 'sometimes parents'. And Grandmother hardly spoke to us when she found out we were psychic. It frightened her how much we reminded her of her sister, Alice.

Silver had always been each other's family whenever our parents were absent in our lives. Silver had been the one constant through the changing times. She had been my only family until the Cullens had taken us in and loved us.

I owed it to them to try to get well and live again, but I could not think of a movie that I wanted to watch that would not make me think of Silver. I shook my head at Emmet; making the dimpled creases in his cheeks fade away.

"Not right now, okay?" I croaked. I struggled to stand. I wanted to get away from their sad stares. I wobbled on my legs and Edward held me up. Once I regained balance I pried him off me so I could walk on my own. He allowed my freedom, but he came along behind me as I went. I didn't have to turn around to check...I knew his hands would catch me if I fell.

I went to the last door on the right of the long hallway. I curled up on the black, leather sofa in Edward's room. That is where I had been sleeping. I couldn't be in my room. I kept expecting Silver to come walking in or to be there in her bed when I woke up. The reality that she never would be there again was too much for me to deal with at this time. I had shut the door of our bedroom and not been back in it for over a week.

Alice and Esme, in their free time had been working on renovating the guest room, across from Edward's room, for me. It was not ready yet. And truthfully, I was not ready for a new room either. I told Alice to take her time getting it ready for me. I couldn't bear to sleep alone.

*

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*

I woke alone. My mouth was dry and sticky. My face was warm and my head ached. I knew that I needed some water. The thought of moving didn't thrill me, but I rolled over in the best effort I could muster.

I could hear a voice coming from somewhere below me. I shifted my head up and looked over the edge of the sofa. There was an air vent beside the sofa and it was open. I could see down to the main level where the downstairs living room was. I was careful not to move too much or make too loud a sound. I just listened carefully.

"My guess is that Aro changed his mind when he bit Silver," I heard Alice's lovely sweet voice pipe up, "He must have been able to see her past then and know of her abilities,"

"Alice is probably right," someone agreed. I was barely able to make out the words. The figures below were hard to see through the grate, but standing motionless so I could see the tops of their heads.

"He would have no reason to keep her once he found out she had a very similar gift as his," Carlisle spoke up, unwillingly, but dutifully.

"Aro looks for variety. He has the past…he needs someone to behold the future. It would benefit them greatly to have someone like Alice or Devan in the guard," Edward concluded, his voice grim.

"I still think we should relocate. Someplace unknown…we can lay low for awhile," Rosalie suggested, "In case they come back for Devan!"

"Devan is safest here!" Edward proclaimed.

"I am inclined to agree with that. The Volturi backed off when they saw the wolf pack. They had never seen such an ensemble. And they became more fearful when they realized that we have a treaty with them," Jasper's masculine, southern accent explained. He would know that they Volturi were scared. He would have felt their fear. That is, when Alec's fog had worn off.

"Yes. We are best to stay put. The Volturi will not come back to Forks so long as the wolf are here and our treaty with them remains intact," Carlisle calmly rationalized.

Everyone was so serious. There was no music in their beautiful voices anymore. Alice had lost her essence. I was guessing she was taming herself down so she would not bring me pain. Silver and Alice were both similar in a lot of ways. I shuddered as I thought of Silver and her once perky, silly smile. How she used to tease me and make light of every situation.

I missed that. I missed the light. All I could see was a dank, dark hole and no way out of it. Surely, there was a way to find the surface and recover? There had to be a way to get through this and move on.

I was leaning off the sofa tensely so I would not move and give my eavesdropping away, but the soft knock at the door startled me and I slipped off the edge. I waited for the wood floor to meet my body, but arms caught me and with ease put me back on the sofa. A blanket, Edward must have draped over me, had tangled me around my legs.

Alice sat next to me, her hands in her lap and her head hung low.

"I am sorry you heard us all chattering away like that. We should have done that more discretely. The last thing we want to do is to frighten you," she said carefully. She must have seen me eavesdropping and knew I would eventually fall from the sofa. So she came to rescue me.

Alice sat like a statue for a few minutes. I wanted so much to comfort her. She and Silver were close had lost her shopping buddy. Alice had lost her great niece. It was hardly fair that I be getting all the comforting.

"I am not frightened," I spoke. My voice was scratchy.

"We will protect you, Devan," Alice reassured me.

"I think I should be changed," I muttered. I hadn't planned on saying this. It was not a great time to bring up the topic of immortality, but I couldn't help but see it as being helpful to my situation. If I was a vampire, I could protect myself and my family wouldn't be put in such danger.

"You are too young. Edward will not allow it," she told me, her large, sad eyes met my own and she patted my leg with her hand.

"I am 16. I am only a year younger than he and I am so sick and tired of being the weakling!" I raised my voice, getting frustrated. Lack of sleep and my low blood sugar had worn me thin.

"This is not the time," she responded softly, not offended by my cranky words. I sighed.

"I don't want to be the reason this family is in danger. I would like a chance to fight for myself for a change!"

"Alice is right, you are in no state to take on the transformation. I will not have you come into this world out of fear," Edward joined in the conversation. I had not realized he was in the doorway. I scowled at him unreasonably.

"Whatever!" I said childishly as I rose and kicked away the blanket from my feet. I staggered toward the doorway to leave the room. "You might be sorry if you don't get your chance to change me," I uttered coolly as I exited the room.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, taking me by the waist and holding me from walking away. I spun around and looked at him with anger. I was so mad at him at this moment and I knew it was not coming from my heart, but I couldn't help but blurt out bitter words.

"Silver had been discussing her wish of immortality with Seth too you know…and they both just shrugged it off and decided to 'wait and see' and look what happened to them!" I screamed, my voice sticking and cracking on my dry throat. I began to cough as I finished my last sentence. Edward held me up as I hacked. I pulled away and he, in attempt not to hurt me, let me go.

"Devan…" he said softly after me as I left him in his bedroom doorway.

"Don't follow me!" I stated nastily as I stumbled through the hallway, holding my hands out at my sides so I didn't fall into the walls as I wavered. I could not keep a steady line.

*

*

*

I quenched my thirst in the kitchen. I downed 4 glassed of water and then slumped to the family room and sank down into the loveseat. My stomach made a sloshing sound as I flopped down. It made me slightly queasy.

I really should not have been so hard on Edward. He loved me so much. The last year had been the best of my life. I was with the man I loved, we went to the same school and we lived together. 'Oh, and my twin sister was also alive and happily in love too!' The sarcasm cut me deep as the thought only reminded me again of Silver. Last year had been brilliant.

A whole year of bliss! Was that all I was going to get? 'Will I ever feel happiness again?'

Now, one year after Edward and I had finally gotten together, I was pulling away from him. I was so scared to lose him. It made me say and do things that were not rational. I knew he was right that a transformation because of fear or grief could alter my change in a bad way. I thought of Rosalie for an example. She was so rarely happy. She still mourned her human life because she had lost it all so fast.

'The ice queen herself!' I thought as Rosalie entered the room and came over to sit by me. I had never been close with her. She had never warmed up to Silver and me. And I resented that fact now more for Silver's sake than my own.

"How are you?" she asked. I turned my head and looked at her with a hard stare of disbelief.

"Seriously?" I asked incredulously. I almost laughed. I was nearly hysterical at this point.

'How do you think I am? My sister is dead!' I thought, immediately regretting thinking of Silver. I felt a lump rise in my chest and my head felt like it was about to explode. I gulped my anxiety back down.

"I was just--"she began, but I cut her off.

"Don't Rose!" I barked at her, "I have no patience for you right now! Leave me alone!"

She froze. Or rather, she just didn't move from her statuesque pose. Her face was so lovely, even in shock, that it made me angrier. If I could have gotten away with it, I would have hit her. I had to leave or I would. I could feel the tension rising within me.

Instead I got up and stormed out of the room. I couldn't go to my own room and I did not want to go back to Edward's bedroom. So I hurried down the staircase and toward the front door. I was just about to reach for the door handle, but I was stopped in the act.

A pair of cold hands gripped my arms from behind to still me. I was getting so sick and tired of cold hands moving me around and directing me. I swung around and threw a punch at the stone figure that was keeping me from leaving at my own will.

With not even a flinch the person behind me caught my hand like it had been coming at them in slow motion. I was horrified to be staring up at my father's face. It must have been a sin to take a strike at Carlisle. I mean... he was the gentlest, kindest person on the planet.

"I…" I uttered, my eyes filled with tears. He didn't looked upset, or surprised by my actions at all. He looked sad and concerned for me. He let my fist go and I dropped it to my side, defeated. He pulled me into him and held me. That is when the tears came back again.

I lifted my head to him and said 'I am sorry' but the words didn't come out of my moving lips. He nodded and forgave me with a soft smile.

"You must eat something, Devan. I insist," he told me. I nodded. I would try to eat…for him I would. "Come along now," he said and he ushered me back up the stairs, not pulling me or carrying me, but simply showing me the way and letting me come at my own pace. It felt less daunting this way.

*

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*

I managed to eat almost a whole apple. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but to my family who had not been able to get me to eat more than a bite at each sitting this was a real accomplishment.

And I felt better afterwards too. The sugar from the apple made my head hurt less and I felt more balance, like I could see clearly again. Edward was by my side again, and did not mention the conversation, or in my case screaming death threats, we had earlier. He was supportive and loving as he always was.

He wanted me to rest, but it felt like that is all I had been doing lately and for the moment I was feeling the best I had in weeks. It was light out side and the room was quite bright with warm tones that seemed to cheer up the place. And the whole family was there in the living room.

It felt almost normal. I wondered if Jasper had anything to do with my peaceful emotions. I got the sense that he was too busy playing a game of chess with Emmet to be affecting my mood.

I was walking back toward the loveseat when a vision hit me so hard I blacked out. Literally, my vision went black and I could see nothing.

I had not had a vision in weeks. Not since Silver's death. I had been far too worn out to even try to see the future and there had been nothing of importance to see I can only guess. Plus, a part of me expected the visions to vanish now that Silver had gone. She and I shared our sight. She the past, and me the future…without her it was only half of a whole picture.

'Devan…' a voice whispered through the black. It was so warm wherever I was in this vision.

Then the cold came rushing back as I shivered. Again, there were vampire hands touching my skin, holding me and stroking my hair as I came back to the present time.

"Devan?" I heard my father calling my name, "Can you hear me?"

I managed to open my eyelids and blink up at all of them, minus Rosalie who was not hovering over me, but leaning on the armrest of the loveseat, watching me from a distance. I lifted me neck and head to move, but of course the hands were all over me, holding me down.

"Hold on, just rest for a moment," Edward warned me.

"I'm okay…really!" I assured them all. None of them looked reassured. I was a nervous wreck in their minds. I had worn the same pajamas for 3 whole days and my hair was one big tangle around my pale, sickly face. I tried again to see if they'd let me sit up. Alice spoke up this time, her hand on my shoulder, her pretty face worried.

"No, you're not. You just fainted. Now lie still for a moment,"

"I didn't faint," I pointed out, sure of it.

"Uh…yeah ya did!" Emmet said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. I could tell he wanted to smile because his dimples were showing. He was not the only one who didn't believe me.

I was prone to lightheadedness and fainting. I knew the feelings that came before a faint and I had not gotten that nauseous, heavy-headed, world-spinning-around-me, slip into nothingness feeling. I had felt something in this dark place. Warmth...and someone whispering my name.

"No…I saw something. I must have just been to weak to support this vision," I said, not sure what I was saying or if it made sense. The look some of them were giving me told me I was out to lunch.

"You had a vision? What did you see?" Alice asked, curious. She had her visions on a more frequent basis. It was most likely because her psychic abilities were heightened because she was a vampire. She knew I had to will mine on most of the time, unless it was something major in mine of Silver's life. 'Well….my life now,' I thought sadly.

"Well…not much. It was kinda dark and…black," I mumbled trying to recall what I had seen and felt exactly. My mom and siblings all watched me with curiosity. My father put his finger on the inside of my wrist and counted my pulse, with a concerned expression. Then he placed his other hand on my forehead.

'They must all think I am cracking up!'

"That is because you fainted!" Emmet pointed out, this time his dimples were creasing up to his eyes in a dopey grin. "Sometimes referred to as 'blacking out'!"

"You weren't there!" I justified and pushed myself up so I was sitting. It was allowed this time. I was trying to stand, but there were too many rock, hard bodies in my way. Edward slipped his hands under my elbows and effortlessly was standing once more.

"Maybe you should lie down, Devan," Edward suggested. I glared at him and nearly growled.

"She seemed to be telling the truth and she is not confused or uncertain in anyway. Perhaps she was having a vision. It has been so long since she had one it makes sense that her sight would come back with a stronger force," Jasper sided with me. I gave him and thoughtful nod of appreciation.

"I am fine! It was a vision. I saw nothing, but I was not here. I was somewhere dark and someone whispered to me," I stated clearly. I felt foolish all of a sudden since it really was not much of a vision to be sharing.

"I believe you, Darling," Mom said and she kissed my forehead, "but I would feel a lot better if you took a nap and rest your head for a little while,"

"I don't need to nap! I have been 'resting' for days!" I said at nearly a shout…my bad mood sneaking back and my temper showing through. I hated being the grumpy twin.

'Or just a grump now. Without Silver to offset my mood swings I just seem like a horribly moody, sad person,' I thought depressingly.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I apologized immediately for raising my voice to her. I was really losing it. She smiled and kissed my forehead again. It didn't make me feel any better. I deserved for her, or someone less motherly, to smack me and tell me to get over myself. I needed someone to scream at me for being this weak, selfish person who was bringing the whole family down.

"No harm done," Esme whispered to me, seeing how upset I was for my outburst. I had never yelled at her before. Silver was the one who got dramatic on occasion when she was being grounded or scolded for something. I was sometimes a little bit grumpy…but never mean or angry. This was worse.

"How about a walk?" Edward suggested, "We should get out of the house,"

"Yes, that sounds lovely," Esme agreed, her arm around my shoulder holding me close by her side.

"Is it safe?" I had to ask, "What if they try again?" I didn't have to say who I was talking about. 'They' was good enough.

"They aren't planning on it. I am watching them. They don't like the wolves. 'Too risky'," Alice explained.

The wolves were a good match for the Volturi. They were unaffected by Alec's fog and there for could attack without being wiped senseless. This made a fight too far in the Volturi's way of thinking and they were used to having the upper hand.

"You have nothing to fear, Devan," Edward told me, stroking my hand. I tried to believe him.

"If you are not feeling up to it, you do no have to go," my father offered me an out. I shook my head.

"I think it would be nice to get some fresh air," I said, putting on a brave face. I could not hide forever, after all. And I was a bit shaken from my vision. I wanted to clear my head, but was afraid to be alone.

The voice that had whispered my name so eerily was echoing in my mind, sending juts of shivery tingles through my body.

*Note: Okay...so ya. Sad and depressing much? But ya...I will be getting Devan out of her slump eventually. I promise. ;) Next chapter(s) will be pretty intense. More visions for Devan!

Review Please. Pretty please with a strawberry on top! :D

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