Confused

Barry could hear sounds as if they were coming from far away. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he figured it was about time he got up. He was surely late for work or for STAR labs or wherever it was that he had to be right now. Late as always, he thought to himself as he willed his eyes to open. He was taken off guard by the sudden light that flooded his irises and immediately reclosed them.

"Barry?" he could hear Caitlin's voice, but still didn't reopen his eyes, "Can you hear me?"

"Mmmm," was all he could say at first. After a few moments he was able to get a few more words out, "Sorry I'm late."

He heard someone laugh, Cisco maybe.

"Looks like he's still out of it," he heard Cisco say. Barry finally opened his eyes, blinking them repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the light.

"Barry?" Caitlin's face swam into view as his eyes adjusted, "Do you know where you are?"

"Caitlin," he murmured, "Is my back better yet?"

Caitlin sighed and readjusted the monitors connected to Barry's chest as she said, "Yes, Barry. Your back has been healed for weeks now. You were just in a training accident, and you hit your head. You're not thinking very clearly just yet."

"Oh, that's good," Barry said furrowing his eyebrows in thought, "I mean the back thing, not the head thing."

Caitlin couldn't help but be amused.

"How are you feeling? What hurts?"

Barry seemed to consider her question for a few moments before answering.

"Everything. My legs. Ow. And my head," he said, feeling the bump on his forehead. Caitlin found his surprised expression almost comical.

"Well, one of your legs is broken," she told him, "It isn't completely healed yet, but I've set and splinted it for you. Just try not to move it too much."

"But I have to go," Barry said, trying to sit up in the medical bed, "I have to meet Patty at six."

"Barry, Patty is still out of town visiting her aunt. She won't be back until next week," Caitlin assured him.

"Besides," Cisco added, "It's already nine o' clock."

"Barry," Caitlin said, gently pushing him back down so that his back was against the bed again, "You need to heal. You're not going anywhere just yet. I think I'm going to have you spend the night here."

"Caitlin," he slurred, "I can't sleep here tonight. How 'bout I stay with you till you fall asleep like last time, and then I can go home to my own bed. I like that idea."

Caitlin blushed as Cisco choked, having nearly swallowed his lollypop in shock.

"What? What did he just say?"

Caitlin was spared the prospect of answering when they were all startled by the sound of Joe's booming voice as he entered the Cortex.

"What happened? Where's Barry?" he said upon entering.

"He's right in here, Joe," Caitlin said quickly, meeting him at the doorway between the Cortex and the medical bay.

Wells stepped back to lean against the wall. He wasn't the type to be easily intimidated by anyone, but he hadn't seen Joe since his terrifying confrontation after Barry's fight with Zoom. Wells wasn't exactly avoiding him, but he had given Joe a wide berth since that night.

"It was just a training accident. Barry should be fine," Caitlin assured him.

"How bad is he?" Joe asked anyways, surveying Barry from the doorway. Barry didn't look at him. He simply stared at the ceiling, his eyelids starting to droop.

"He's got some broken bones," Caitlin informed him in a whisper so Barry couldn't hear, "primarily his leg, but also his collar bone, left arm, three ribs, and a few fingers. He also had some bruising and some pretty bad road rash that has almost completely healed up. What I'm most worried about is his head injury. He seems to have a grade three concussion, so he's pretty confused. He's been in and out of consciousness for the last four hours. He keeps repeating himself and asking the same questions, so don't be alarmed if he doesn't seem like himself when you talk to him. He seems to keep flashing back to his fight with Zoom. He keeps asking me if his back is better yet and if he'll ever be able to walk again. Hopefully he'll be back to normal by tomorrow though."

"A training accident, huh?" Joe asked, looking seriously between Caitlin and Cisco. Cisco shifted guiltily and looked at the floor.

"It was one of my drones," he said quietly, "Normally Barry has no problem outrunning them, but he seemed to struggle with it today, like he wasn't a hundred percent. It looked like he just ran out of juice or something."

"I warned him," Joe said, looking over at Barry, who had now closed his eyes completely, "Just this morning, I warned him. He's got way too much on his plate right now, and he's not eating and sleeping enough."

"Well, that explains it," Caitlin said, more to herself than to anyone else, "He seems to fatigue quicker, and he tries to hide it, but his leg muscles get sore now from running. I did some tests. It's called lactic acidosis. His body can't keep up with the oxygen demands that he creates when he's running, so lactic acid starts to build up in his muscles, making them sore. It's never been a problem before, but now his body doesn't seem as efficient in terms of oxygen exchange, blood circulation and his metabolism. If he's not eating and sleeping enough, that could be the cause."

"We need to fix this, Caitlin," Joe pleaded, "He's going to kill himself in his pursuit against Zoom. It's becoming an obsession. I've tried talking to him, but he just gets defensive and tries to justify it. Maybe you can talk some sense into him."

"Cisco and I will try to get through to him, but not tonight. He's just not with it enough to have a real conversation right now. I'm keeping him here overnight for observation. It's starting to worry me that he's still so confused and that he's not healing as fast. Normally he would have been completely healed by now. It's as if he still has his speed, but the rest of his body isn't keeping up. His heart isn't pumping blood as efficiently, his lungs can't take in enough air, his healing and metabolism are slowed, and his muscles and joints aren't holding up to the strain it takes to run at the speeds he does."

"He thinks he's making himself faster, but really he's destroying his body," Joe concluded, worried. He watched the now sleeping Barry from where he stood in the doorway. After a few moments he said, "Is it alright if I sit with him a while?"

"Yes, of course," Caitlin gave Joe a small smile, "I'm trying to encourage him to rest right now though, since that seems to be what he needs most at the moment, but I'll be waking him up in about an hour or so to do another cognitive check. In the meantime, we should try to let him sleep."

"Okay," Joe said, striding over to Barry's bedside and taking a seat next to him, "I'll just sit by him for a while."

"Where's Iris?" Cisco whispered to Joe, as Caitlin dimmed the lights in the medical bay so Barry could sleep easier, "Does she know what happened?"

"No," Joe whispered in response, "She still hasn't quite gotten over what happened to Barry after his fight with Zoom. None of us really have. I didn't want to worry her and put her through this again unnecessarily."

"You know this is not anywhere near as bad as last time though, right? Barry will be just fine."

"Yeah," Joe smiled sadly, "but it still brings back those terrible memories. He was just so…hurt. I don't ever want to see him like that again." Tears threatened to engulf the corners of Joe's eyes, "I'm so terrified that if he keeps this up, he's going to end up either killing himself or Zoom is going defeat him again. I just don't want to see him killed or even to have to go through a recovery like that again. I don't think he could survive that a second time and still be the same person after. Just look at how much his first defeat has changed him."

Joe took Barry's hand and surveyed his face with somber eyes.

"You know there's a third option though," Cisco told him, "Barry could win. It's not just a choice between him dying or being severely injured. He could defeat Zoom. We're working on a plan. We're not going to underestimate him this time. We'll beat Zoom, as a team."

"Yes, but at what cost to Barry?" Joe asked seriously, "Sure, he might defeat Zoom, and he might save the day like always, but that doesn't mean he'll be the same after. He's still a person. He's still the man that I love like a son, and I don't want this to change him beyond recognition. It seems like lately he's more of the Flash than he is Barry Allen, and I don't want him to lose sight of himself. I don't want him to forget who he is."

"We're not going to let that happen, Joe. He's not just the Flash to us. He's our friend, and we care about him too. We'll look after him."

"Thank you, Cisco," Joe said, finally tearing his eyes from Barry's face to look at him, "It means a lot."

"No problem."

Cisco gave Joe a small smile of reassurance before leaving the medical bay to give Joe some time alone with Barry. As Joe looked back to Barry's bruised yet peaceful face, he couldn't help but wish that Barry had never become the Flash. Although Barry loved being the Flash and he was doing so much good for Central City, Joe sometimes wished that things were back to the way they were before. Back when Barry was simply Barry, and he was free to just be himself, without carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Now, Joe shuddered when he thought of the dreadful things that the future may have in store for the caring and selfless person that lay before him.