{4 months ago}

"Mmmhm, hello there, dirt. We meet again. Thank you very much for the wake-up call."

I sat up, spitting the dirt out of my mouth. Why am I here, in the middle of a forest and not in my comfy bed? Why is it a coniferous forest of all things? Last I remembered, I don't come from a place where you can find coniferous forests anywhere within a few thousand kilometers. I felt some part in the back of my mind panicking but it was quickly overwhelmed by my confusion

A cool breeze swept through the forest, kicking up leaves and blowing them into my face. I shivered and then it dawned on me that there was not a single item of clothing on my body, I am fully exposing my Not!glorious body to the world. This I find perplexing. I was not drunk before I went to sleep, I wasn't even drinking. What the flying fuck? I'm supposed to be in a tropical country but why is it this cold? Where the hell am I? Similar questions flowed through my mind and I could not suppress my anxiety at the growing lack of answers.

{Brrrrggmm *CRACK*}

{Pitpatpitpat}

A familiar rumble and crack brought me back to my surroundings, it started to rain through the canopy of the trees above me. Cold droplets fell on my bare body. It's actually pretty painful for someone like me who isn't accustomed to this kind of temperature.

"Well shit" I muttered

Quickly scanning my surroundings, I spotted a cave to my right. It had a small entrance in the middle of a rocky formation leading diagonally into the ground. I thought caves were only in the side of mountains and hills? I'm from the city so what can I really say? You learn something new everyday. Putting aside my less important thoughts, I got up and went into the cave for shelter.

Its dark…. Pitch black inside the cave, I suppose that's to be expected for a hole in the ground. The darkened skies outside did nothing to help my vision. So with a burst of courage, I timidly took a step in deeper.

Deeper again, another step, and another.

I sincerely hope that snakes aren't a common thing here…. Wherever the hell I am. Part of me is yelling at me for going in deeper, surely this isn't a cliché movie scene where I keep going deeper towards my inevitable demise right? I mean, come on, it's a cave and it goes deeper into the darkness. What can go wrong?

The logical part of my mind, which is most of my mind, immediately gives me a plenty of scenarios that does not end well for me.

{*CLANK*}

"AH! MMUHTFFFGH…. FFFFuuueh" I yelped and mentally swore as I stubbed my right toe on something heavy and metallic.

Taking more than a couple of breaths myself down as my heart tried to leap out of my chest, I couldn't see what I came into contact with so I bent down and groped around for it. I felt my hand around a handle and lifted the object, I have no idea what it is but its damn heavy. Just then, a flash of lightning outside the cave reflected off the object for a second.

I picked it up and felt it's rough surface, I knew what it was but that wasn't important right now. That Other thing is.