Sorry for the wait, guys! Since there's only gonna be like two or three more chapters, I'ma update most of them tonight, 'kay? Great.
So, Mowgli was being emo, and sitting on his windowsill one night when he hears sounds. He sneaks outside to check them out. Since the viewers see Shere Khan heading into the village, we think it's Shere Khan that Mowgli heard sneaking around. However...
"Baloo! Holy crap, it's you!" Mowgli exclaimed. They had a happy reunion and started play-fighting.
Meanwhile, Shanti went to Mowgli's bedroom window with food, apologizingf to mowqgli, not knowing that he wasn't in his room, and that Shere Khan was behind her, also waiting for Mowgli.
"Mowgl8i, come on! I know you're mad at me, but it co8uld be worse!" Shanti said. Then she heard Mowgli yell out and went to investigate...and got the crap scared out of her when she saw Baloo playing with Mowgli. Shanti freaked out and called for help, despite Mowgli telling her the other day that he made friends with a bear...
Shanti screaming freaked Baloo out, so he carried Mowgli off thinking that he was saving Mowgli and himself, and causing Shanti to think Mowgli was being kidnapped. Shere Khan chased after Baloo and Mowgli, but the villagers saw him and chased him.
Too bad they didn't kill him. However, if they did kill Shere Khan, this movie would be shorter.
ANYWAY...
Ranjan saw Shanti running after Mowgli, despite her fear of the jungle (Wow. She must really care about him!), with a torch (and surprisingly didn't burn anything), and ran after her.
XXX
"Damn! That village was freaking insane!" Baloo exclaimed as he carried Mowgli on his shoulders through the jungle. "Is it always like that?"
"All the time! The village sucks. It's all work and no play!" Mowgli ranted "It's like a damned horror movie!"
Baloo shuddered. "Oooh! Good thing I got you away from that place!"
"You said it!" Mowgli agreed. "Shanti's even worse."
"Shanti? Ohhhh...that siren that lured you to the village in the first place." Baloo shook his head. "I so knew she was trouble."
"Yeah/. So what now?"
"Now..." Baloo pumped his fists excitedly. "LET'S SING A MODERNIZED VERSION OF THE BARE NECCESSITIES!"
Mowgli also pumped his fists. "OKAY!"
Kaa noticed Mowgli and tries and fails to eat him. Surprisingly, neither Mowgli or Baloo notice the snake, who ended up hit by a branch, pummeled by a rock, and pricked with prickly pears. He went somewhere to peel those pears off and is almost burnt by Shanti.
"Oooooh, I'll KILL that..." Kaa stopped when he noticed Shanti. "...Snack!" He chuckled. He then turned to the camera. "Good thing I ain't human, or this would've been a very dark movie!"
Shanti, who was attacked by bats, and scared by an owl stopped when she saw Kaa, who started hypnotizing her.
"Now...stand on this rock so I can rape- I MEAN eat you..." Kaa opened his mouth wide...and accidentally fell on the rock Shanti was standing on.
"RANJAN TO THE RESCUE!" Ranjan shouted. He started beating Kaa up. "DIE, SNAKE, DIE!"
"What the hell, Ranjan?" Shanti pulled Ranjan away from Kaa. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping you find Mowgli." Ranjan replied simply. He scared Kaa and caused him to fall off the cliffside and into the coconut trees below.
"...Okay, I'm taking you back to the village." Shanti started pulled Ranjan towards the village, but Ranjan pulls away.
"But Shanti! This is where heroes are born! This could be our big chance! Our finest hour!"
"Or final hour." Shanti raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well, Mowgli's in trouble! We are gonna find him!" Ranjan declared.
Shanti sighed and gave in. "Fine. But stay close! Danger could be lurking behind every rock."
"...You just made another Lion King reference.,.."
"Oh, hush."
XXX
"Ugh....this night can't g4et any worse..." Kaa groaned as he lifted himself up from the pile of coconuts.
"Oh, I seriously doubt that." Shere Khan replied, smiling.
Kaa gasped in horror. "...Hi, Shere Khan, What's up?"
"Ohh, just looking for the man cub Mowgli." Shere Khan grabbed Kaa's neck. "Now...where is he?"
Kaa started sweating. "I don't know. I...I..." Shere Khan pinned him down and started scratching his neck.
"You're gonna tell me what I want to know. It's just a question of how much you want it to hurt." Shere Khan threatened.
Kaa's eyes widened and he gulped. "Uh...uh...the swamp! He's in the swamp!" Proving that torture does not work no matter what the military, the government, or Jack Bauer say.
"He better be, or I will cuuuutttt youuuuu."
XXX
The next morning, the sun was shining bright, birds were chirping, bees were humming-
RECORD SCRATCH
"Excuse me. But I seem to remember being a major character in the first movie!" Bagheera exclaimed angrilly. "I'm feeling a little ignored here! I haven't even told anyone about how I rescued a family of water rats from a hyena,, or rescuing a baby songbird from a fire!"
...Oh, right. Time to reintroduce Bagyheera to the story.
"Thank you." Bagheera said.
Suddenly, a college aged...dog/human walked up to Bagheera and gave him a remote trigger. "Here. This will give you attention."
"...Who the hell are you?"
"Bradley Uppercrust the third." He answered.
"...I think you're in the wrong sequel..."
"Soooo? I WANT ATTENTION!" He started crying hysterically.
Bagheera started backing away slowly. "...O...kay, then..."
Kovu, from The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride walked in randomly. "...Hey, this isn't my home!"
"Quite right. This isn't your movie, either!" Bagheera said. "What is it with people from sequels showing up?"
Gazeem from Aladdin and the King of Thieves showed up. "No idea."
"...I'm gonna run away now..." Bagheera sprints off and runs into the Jungle Patrol.
"MAN YOUR STATIONS! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! TAKE COVER!" Hathi yelled. He picks up Bagheera with his tusks, and the Jungle Patrol jam into a cave.
"Hey, what's the big idea?" Bagheera asked Hathi.
"Man is in the jungle!"
Blackbeard and his friends walk on by yelling for Mowgli. Bagheera puts two and two together.
"Oh. My. God!" Bagheera seethed. "Baloo, you son of a...!"
XXX
Meanwhile, Baloo and Mowgli hung out and ate mangoes. Mowgli obviously has a crush on Shanti, since he always talks about her.
"Sounds to me, like you're in love with her." Baloo raised an eyebrow.
"I am not in love with her!"
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." Baloo pointed out. He sees Bagheera, gasps, and hides Mowgli behind him. "He-hey, Bagheera! What's up?"
"My blood pressure." Bagheera said with controlled anger. "Guess what? Man is in the jungle."
"Oh. Er...what do they want?"
"I'll give you a hint: starts with an 'M'."
Baloo was confused. "...Money?"
"No, you big palooka! They're looking for Mowgli!" Bagheera spat out. "Now where is he?"
Baloo just shrugged. "In the jungle, I suppose. Unless he went back to the village."
Bagheera grew more suspicious and looked around. "Hmmm. I just wish I knew where he was."
"Sorry, Baggy. Can't help you there. Wish I could."
Bagheera glared at Baloo. "I know he's around here somewhere." He turned towards the trees. "And he can't hide forever!"
"He won't get past you, Baggy." Baloo grinned innocently. He waited until Bagheera left and sighed in relief.
"Wow. The whole village is looking for me?" Mowgli was aghast. "I thought they were mad..."
Baloo frantically gathers up food. "Yeah. We gotta hide!"
"I wonder if Shanti is with them..." Mowgli thought aloud.
"What the hell? You definitely don't want HER to find you!"
"You're right! But if she does, you wouldn't mind scaring her off, would ya?"
"Nope! It would be my pleasure!" Baloo said happily.
"Thanks." Mowgli climbed up Baloo's shoulders, and they walked off.
"...So, how do you scare someone off, again?"
Hahahaha! I couldn't resist adding references to other Disney sequels! XD Bradley Uppercrust III is from An Extremely Goofy Movie, in case you don't know.