I Am Cut

Chapter One: To My Safe Haven

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A/N: I am SOOO sorry about the very long wait for this chapter. It has been MONTHS! I've had NO inspiration for this story until now. So here it is, please don't hate me.

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"Boy!" A voice roared, and Harry sat up in bed, startled.

"Get down here NOW!" It was uncle Vernon.

Harry rubbed his pounding head, wincing when his fingers brushed against the wound buried in black locks. His whole body ached, the worst of it on his backside. Vernon had raped him again, leaving another scarring word for him on his back. This time, it was Fag.

His uncle had found out he was gay the day before when he intercepted one of his letters from Hermione. Not trying to think on it, he checked the time. The little red LCD lights on his alarm clock residing on the small bedside table to the right of his bed read 8:37 AM.

Groaning, Harry managed to get out of bed. He was covered in bloody and dried semen. Flinching with every step he took, Harry managed to stagger over to his trunk. He pulled his wand out of the mess, and began applying cleansing charms, healing spells, and glamours.

Once he was at least physically healed, Harry got ready for the day. It was going to be hell, like every other, but he was going to get through it. He had to get through it.

Sighing, he rubbed sleep from the corners of his eyes and pulled out some clothes from his wardrobe.

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Ten minutes later, Harry strode down the stairs fully ready for the day. He entered the kitchen, dressed in a pair of black Tripp jeans, a black t-shirt with a silver skull and green splatter printed on it, and Slytherin green converse. His eyes were magically fixed, so he wore no glasses, but a line of black eyeliner instead. His right eyebrow was pierced, as was the left side of his lip.

He watched with a smirk as Petunia's jaw dropped when he walked in the room at the sight of him. No one in his "family" had seen his new look. The Slytherin look. He had been sneaking out all summer shopping, making his appearance match his personality. The tattoo of a slithering snake writhed on his lower back, causing him to shiver.

Today was the day he got to go back to Hogwarts. It truly was his home; this…place was hardly considered livable at his part. However, Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley were more than welcome to pass this as normal living quarters, hiding the excessive abuse behind painted plaster walls and closed doors.

"Potter!" His aunt shrieked, almost dropping the pan in her hands. He smirked gleefully at her reaction, but quickly placed up his masks before turning to his uncle.

"You called for me, Uncle." He stated in a quite monotone voice.

Vernon was, certainly at the moment, practicing his fishy-faces. If it were anyone else in his presence and not his abusive relatives, Harry would have mocked him with a sneering comment. However, this WAS his so called family, so unless he wanted to be beaten before he even got out the door that day, he kept his mouth shut.

Finally, Vernon decided it was best to close his mouth. He coughed slightly, clearing his throat and stood up from the table.

"Yes, Potter. I did. Now that you are here, you may start breakfast. Pet, let him take over."

Sneering, Petunia thrust the pan into his hands, the skin scalding by the heat when his fingers touched the bottom to keep it from falling.

'I'm glad I have some Burning Salve in my trunk….' He thought as Dudley let out a hardy laugh from where he was sitting in front of the television set.

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Harry and the Durlseys some how made it to the train station before eleven. Once they pulled in front, they shoved him out the car door with his trunk and owl cage, driving away at full speed. Shaking his head, Harry walked inside and placed his things on a trolley next to the wall.

Speed walking so he didn't miss the train, he missed all the weird looks he was getting by muggles and wizards alike. Some where shocked that the boy was pushing a trolley with an owl in a cage on it, and others were shocked to see the young boy dressed in such a matter. He WAS the Gryffindor Golden Boy after all.

Passing everyone and trying to get to the barrier, he walked straight past Malfoy Sr. and his son. "Draco..?" Lucius asked smoothly, trying to hide his shock.

"Yes, father?" He asked, not seeing Harry as he walked past when he looked up over his shoulder.

"Look at Potter. He's dressed like…a muggle…Slytherin."

To say Draco was shocked when he saw Harry from behind was an understatement. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, plus the abnormal feeling of arousal beginning to form in between his legs. He coughed nervously, adjusting his robes slightly so that if his father looked down he couldn't see his growing erection.

"Well…" Lucius cleared his throat before continuing. "Let get to the barrier before the train leaves you…"

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Harry couldn't find Hermione and Ron anywhere, and in his opinion, it was a good thing. He headed to the back of the train, where the Slytherins usually resided, knowing no Gryffindor would look for him back there. He somehow found an empty compartment, not knowing that's where Draco and his crew usually sat.

They were in for a shock when they saw Harry Potter sitting there, his shirt open where they could see the bruises and cuts on his chest, rubbing Burn Salve on his hands.

"Potter!" Pansy shrieked, as Draco was, again, too shocked to speak. Startled slightly, Harry let his masks fall slightly and his head snapped up. His eyes widened ever so slightly when he saw Draco standing there.

Harry had had the largest crush on the blonde Slytherin ever sense his 5th year, which two years had gone by since then. He placed his masks back up, not remembering that his shirt was open.

"What happened to your chest!?" Harry blanched. But then he remembered his excuse if anyone asked. He once again had to place up his mask, it was harder this time, but he did it.

"Voldemort." He said simply. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to by it, but Draco and Pansy didn't. "And your hands Potter?" Draco drawled smoothly.

"While I was making breakfast this morning, the pan slipped, and I caught it wrong and it burned my hands." It was the truth, just shortened. He left out it was Petunia who shoved it at him and he had to catch it or else, or that he was making breakfast for his relatives and not himself. If they were smart enough, they would have noticed how horribly skinny he was while his shirt was hanging open.

Pansy huffed and stalked off, Draco waved Crabbe and Goyle of with her. He made sure that it was only him and Harry.

"Voldemort eh?" He asked, trying to hide his concern behind his eyes. Harry made himself nod, even though the only thing he wanted to do at that moment was tell him of the abuse. But he had to make Draco leave him.

"Potter…" Draco started, and Harry raised a brow when he stopped.

"Yes, Malfoy?" He asked, his voice drawling in a way that only a Malfoy could. However, Harry had memorized that voice, dreamed about it in his sleep, he knew every syllable that came out of the blonde's mouth by heart. (A/N: No, that's not stalker-ish at all!)

Draco again didn't hide his shock. He was really losing his cool, and all in one day. He coughed. It was the only thing his mind could handle. "Erm…nothing Potter. Nothing…" With that, he swept out of the room in a flurry of robes, which eerily reminded Harry of Snape. Harry smirked, he couldn't wait to see the man's face when he came in the Great Hall. This year, he was going to demand a resorting. Gryffindor just wasn't pleasing him. He just never got the courage to do it until now.

Leaning back into his seat, he fell asleep, but not after locking the door and dousing himself with concealment spells.

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Two hours later, Harry woke up. The wards on the doors hadn't gone off, and his chest was as smooth and clear as a baby's bottom. He smirked to himself as he stood up, finally allowing this small time of peace where he could let his masks fall. The mental walls in his mind blocking it, however hadn't come down. No matter what, he wouldn't let them. Voldemort could be trying to enter at that very moment. And if he allowed them to fall, he surely would get in, as he was defenseless otherwise.

Yawning, Harry stood up and stretched before he removed his edited school uniform from his trunk. He changed from his tripp jeans and t-shirt to a pair of skin tight leather pants and a black polyester button up shirt. He lifted the few chains hanging around his neck so he could fasten his Gryffindor tie. Sneering down at the thing with a hateful glare, he reluctantly put on his robes.

"I can't believe I never thought of a resorting before…" He mumbled to himself as he placed his old outfit back in his trunk. Just as he did, the train came to a slow stop. They were there. He was home.

Harry smiled once before placing up his masks. He gathered his trunk and two cages. One held Hedwig, and the other, not people noticed, held a black python named Accid. His eyes were a poisonous green, reflecting his owner's almost perfectly.

The seventh years all began piling their things onto the "self-pulling" carriage, even though most students, besides first years all together, knew what they were pulled by: Thestrals.

Harry threw his trunk onto the back of an open one, but carefully set the two cages upon it. He didn't want to hurt anything innocent. It was against his nature, even though he's been a Slytherin in Gryffindor his whole life.

The carriage was empty until Draco Malfoy climbed aboard. Both of them looked at each other, Harry with a blank mask hiding his surprise, and Draco with one that allowed some of his to fall through.

Again, to the blonde Slytherin's shock, Harry nodded. "Malfoy." He said kindly in greeting. Draco blanched.

"Potter, what the hell has gotten into you?" He asked.

Harry smirked, something reserved for Slytherins, anything but for a Gryffindor. "I'm going to be resorted, and as I will end up in your house, I might as well try to be a little civil towards you."

And that's only half of it…The two thought together, Harry accidentally reading Draco's thoughts. Suddenly, the black haired man sneered, and the blonde didn't know why.

"Uh…Potter?"

Harry looked up at him, raising a brow. "Yeah, Malfoy?"

"Why did you just sneer out of no where?"

Harry smirked. "Ah, no reason. Just thinking." He always acted like the horrible liar, but now it was so easy. Looking at the Thestral fondly, he stroked gently behind the creature of death's wings. While he was preoccupied, Draco decided to give the Slytherin-to-be a look over. He almost drooled on the sight of Harry's lower garments, surprised he hadn't noticed something like that yet.

He found a certain spot in those pants, and almost came on the spot when he saw how thick Potter really was. And the Gryffindork wasn't even hard!

Harry knew what he was doing. He always knew when someone had their eyes on him. He hid his victorious smirk, and pulled up the sleeve covering his right wrist slightly. The initials VD were carved there, various slashes across it when he attempted to cover it up. However, the scars were too deep, and he didn't want to kill himself, so he would just have to be reminded of that fateful night every day for the rest of his life…

-- (A/N: Flashback time!)

Harry couldn't help but let out a painful moan as Vernon kicked him repeatedly in the stomach and chest. He felt a rib crack and another one break. Tears streamed out his tightly closed eyes, wishing he could just die. Suddenly, his pants and boxers were gone, and he heard the unzipping of jeans.

'Oh, no…' Harry thought helplessly, trying to block out the pain that felt like it was ripping him in half as Vernon entered him roughly.

With his eyes closed, he kept down all sounds by biting his tongue until his uncle was spent. Vernon grabbed a knife, and still in him, wrenched his right arm back and began cutting into it.

When he was done, Vernon pulled himself out of his nephew, pulled up his trousers, and left the room with a bloodied Harry on the floor.

As he locked the door from the outside, Harry looked at his wrist in disdain. On the base of his wrist, two bright red letters read: VD on his pale skin…

-- (A/N: End flashback!)

Harry shook his head to clear it of the memory. He glanced over at Dra…Malfoy who was looking at him curiously.

"Uh…Potter…?" He asked nervously. Harry just looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yes, Malfoy?"

"Was there some specific reason you were screaming just now?"

Harry's eyes widened. "I was screaming?" Malfoy nodded. "In pain?" He nodded again.

"…shit…" Harry mumbled, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to face his enemy. "Was there anything I said?"

Malfoy shook his head, although Harry didn't see it so he mumbled a quiet "no…" and looked out the window.

In a few more minutes, the carriage holding the two came to a stop in front of Hogwarts. They were the last ones. Malfoy allowed Harry to go first, and followed him out the door. They walked side by side to the doors to the Great Hall, and opened them together. Harry looked over at Malfoy, nodded, and headed over to his respective table.

When he got there, he was swarmed by Hermione and Ron. "Where were you?" Hermione cried worriedly, but Ron just looked pissed. "And with MALFOY!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "The carriage, and yes with Malfoy because I've decided to become civil with him."

Ron was too angry to say anything, but Hermione looked at him curiously. "Why, Harry?"

"I'm demanding a resorting." And he plaintively ignored the two.

Dumbledore's greeting speech and the first year sorting went without a hitch. However, as McGonagall was about to remove the Sorting Hat from the Great Hall, he stood up.

"Headmaster Dumbledore!" He called, and said headmaster smiled at him. However, Harry wasn't smiling. "I demand a resorting!"

The Great Hall broke out in hushed whispers as Dumbledore looked at Harry in shock. After a moment, he looked at Harry and nodded, thinking the young Gryffindor would remain in that house.

Removing himself from his past table, Harry waltzed up to the stool where the hat was. He sat down, as the hat was placed upon his head and McGonagall called out: "Potter, Harry."

The hall was deathly silent as he and the Hat conversed in his head.

Harry Potter…The Hat greeted, and he could feel the smirk on his head.

Yes…Harry Potter, you demand a resorting. Where shall I put you this time? Gryffindor again or Slytherin?

Harry snorted. You know fully well where I want to go. He thought.

The hat smiled. Alright, then, Mr. Potter…you shall be sorted in…

Everyone was on the edge of their seats when the Sorting Hat opened his mouth and shouted out…

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A/N: MUAHAHAHA! Cliffy! However…you all probably know what House Harry is going to be sorted in…but I just won't tell you. Tee hee.