I'm tired of fighting everyday!

I opened my eyes and I'm in a forest, close to the one where I'd bandaged Matthew up in. I look around me, but all I see are trees. I see a figure behind a blown off tree stump, and go towards it.

"H-hallo," I said, but I didn't get a response from them. I could see my breath when I exhaled, but it really wasn't cold at all. I slowly walk around the stump to get a cautious glimpse of who was hiding. I was very startled when I saw myself, curled up in the sitting position, with my face in my hands, obviously holding something.

"Scripture says, 'Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid. They'll be safe in the nation that they've made,'" I heard him say before he jerks his head up to look at something. The flesh around his eyes was red in a rash as tears kept falling, "I, want to sit under my own vine, and Fig tree. . . A moment alone in the shade. We'd be home in the nation we've made. . . You and I," And his eyes closed slowly, letting a final tear roll down his cheek. I look down hastily and my eyes widened as I saw, what looked like, a self inflicted gun shot wound in his stomach.

I notice that he was holding something in his left hand, so I slightly open his once tight grip on a piece of paper. I unwrinkled it and saw a half of a photograph. This half showed Matthew smiling and his eyes were closed. His breath showed since it was cold enough for snow. I saw my shadow growing on the tree stump and that means light and that means people!

"Here," heard a very familiar voice say softly. "Birdie? I asked. I then see my other self's eyes open.

"Gilbert!?" I hear. So, I can make an impact. . . I then slapped myself I the face to wake him up more. His face contorted in pain as Matthew approached him and take a hand into his.

"I'm so sorry, Gilbert! I was just upset, but It's only best if we not be together," His eyes shot open with a pleading look to him. Almost begging Matthew to stay with him, "But, I'll always love you, Gilbear," He then kisses his forehead and wipes his tears. Matthew sat there, holding my other self, his hand over my chest to know when my heartbeat stops. And, soon enough it did.

My eyes shot open as I bolted into a sitting position. Sweating, and panting, I was a nervous wreck! I hastily throw the covers off and then realize that was a very stupid mistake. As soon as I could, I rewrapped myself in that blanket and stayed there, thinking about the events of what happened.

"So, you had a dream that you committed suicide and were in love with a prisoner. . . ?" He asked, basically repeating what I said to make sure that he'd written it all down correctly. "Y-yes, sir," I said, sighing at the memory of the sight.

"But, you didn't think that would've ever happened to you?" He asked. I simply nodded. "Please, I need to know. Is this the early signs of depression i'm seeing here, sir?" He hesitated, to look over his notes once more be for answering me, finally. "Well, no, but something must've triggered that to happen, you know? So, what were you thinking about before that dream?"

I tried to think then without thinking, I said, " I was wondering if Matthew likes me the same way I like him," My eyes widened as I realized what I said. I began to panic, and I guess he saw through my cool guy shell, because he said, "Don't worry! Confidentiality, you know. . . " I smiled as I continued telling him about the problems with this love/hate relationship.

"Beilschmidt, dein kleiner Bruder," someone said, opening the door slowly. "Again!?" I asked and he simply nodded.

I bolt up and walk out, closing the door behind me. I speed walked down the hallway. As I approached the door to his office, I felt an ache in my heart.

I trace the design gently with my fingers until I let out a sigh and finally knock.

"Come in," he said. I slowly opened the door, causing it to creek. I see him turn abruptly. His hair was mostly ungelled in the front, letting groups of strands fall to his forehead. "you wanted to see me," I asked.

"I'm sorry," that's all he can say. "Sorry for what, Luddy?" He stands up and walks toward me. He roughly puts his hands on mine. "Lud, what's the matter?" I asked, struggling to get my hands free from his tight grip. "What did you do? Lud, I swear to Gott, if you did something to him, I'll kill you!"

"I'm sorry. . . I had to," He said, hanging his head in shame and disappointment. My eyes widened. I broke free of his grip and slap him across the face. "You bastard! How dare you betray me, your older brother!?" I shout and stormed out. I immediately went to Matthew's cell. I saw a note on the door.

'Sorry, but we've decided to move Matthew Williams, Gilbert Beilschmidt's prisoner, to the next city over. He was assigned to a brand new Gestapo, as well.' My eyes were fixated on the last sentence of 'He was assigned to a brand new Gestapo, as well.'

I slammed my back to the door and slid down to the floor. Tightening my grip on the note I ripped off the door, I cursed to myself as I felt tears threatening to break free from my physical oppression.

'Gott Verdammt,' I thought. I jolted up, wiping the half drops of tears from my eyes, 'I can't let this happen!' I walked hastily and with such force that no one bothered me. As I march myself all the way to the next city over, I grow tired of waiting and began to run.

My uniform jacket was slowing me down, so I threw it off my body, leaving it in a shrub of a bush.

I reached the Military base a half an hour later, huffing and puffing and I was pissed off!

"Wo ist er!?" I shout, threateningly stepping up to someone who looked like they knew what was going on. They looked panicked. 'As they should be.'

"Wo ist er!? Wo ist der Matthew, Gott Verdammt!?" I shouted again. I shoved the note I had in my pocket into his chest, pushing him back a few steps. "Ich will er jetzt sehen!" I commanded. He walked away after telling me to "Ja, warten, bitte,"

The man comes back with Matthew in handcuffs, dazing at the ground. "Matthew! Bist du okay!?" I shouted, my eyes filled with concern, until he looks up at me. My face contorts with anger as he looks up at me tears in his eyes as there were bruises and cuts and slap marks on his nose, under his eyes, and on his cheeks. The one to make me snap was a deep red color on his neck, going across horizontally.

I march my way over to Matthew and slapped him on his right cheek. And because his cheek was already injured, my slap caused his cheek to bleed a bit. His eyes were wide in shock, then I turned and immediately demanded to see the person responsible for this. The soldier stood from his seat and walked to me. "That would be me," he was a big guy, but I wasn't intimidating to me.

I wound my hand back and before he could block, dodge, or deflect, my hand landed on his cheek. It left a huge red mark. He slowly looks back up at me and I glare right back at him. He grabs me by my collar up shirt, and leaned in close to my face. "Und, wer bist du!?" "I am Matthew's Gestapo; who are you!?" I say, hostily.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Du bist Gilbert Beilschmidt?" He says, bringing me closer to increase possible intimidation, but I kept my composure, not that anything frightened me anyway.

"Ja, ich bin Leutnant Gilbert Beilschmidt, und ich bin Matthews Gestapo auch, Gott verdammt!" I shouted back. "Let me go, boy," I say. He obliges and hesitantly let go of my shirt. I grabbed Matthew by his handcuffs and dragged him over.

"Release Williams of his restrains; he's coming with me, back where he belongs," say bluntly. The soldier hesitantly tossed me the keys and I unlocked the tight restraints from his wrists. He looks down at his feet.

"Prepare for your big demotion; Merry fuckin' Christmas," and with that, I grabbed Matthew's hands and dragged him out of the building.

As soon as I felt we were alone, I pulled Matthew in for a kiss, but he immediately rejected me, shoving me away.

"Aren't I just another prisoner you can just slap around?" Tears flowing down his bruised face, he shouted at me.

"Birdie -" I began, but he cut me off, shouting, "Don't you dare call me Birdie right now! I don't know what to think, Beilschmidt! First, you shot me, then kissed me, then not show up for three whole days, then you come all this way and slap me!? Then, want to kiss me again!? What the hell is wrong with you, eh!? I don't get you at all! Are you my Gestapo, or my boyfriend, Gilbert? Because you sure as hell can't be both, eh!"

"Well, for your safety, I'm sure as hell going to try, now won't I? And if you're that upset about me hitting you once, this will never get better!" I said, then brought my hand to my forehead, and sighed heavily, "I slapped you because you let another man touch you! I can't have that happen, Birdie!"

"What was I supposed to say? My Gestapo / boyfriend is going to come and beat your ass to a pulp!" He said, sarcastically chuckling at his words.

My eyes were pleading. "Bitte, Matthew. Our first priority shouldn't be to rip each other apart, it should be to get you back and get you patched up. I have some bandages in my jacket."

He tilted his head in confusion and looked quizzically at my class a uniform. "Speaking of, where is it?" I shrug my shoulders and said nonchalantly, "It was making it harder to get to you, so I threw it at a bush, or something like that. Ja, I'm awesome, but you know that, so don't worry. Blah blah blah, I will help you,"

We had walked a few miles, and it was getting dark, considering I woke up late, and stayed, wrapped in my blanket, for a few hours after.

"If I could see the base, I would say that we could just sprint, but I can't see it at all," I said, bringing my hand up to my forehead to look for any type of Military marking, but to no avail. I have an idea!

"Birdie," I say, grabbing his shoulders tightly and abruptly, making the small Canadian man squeak with a start, "I think we should camp out tonight! I mean, we obviously aren't going to make it to the camp to night, I'm tired, I bet you're tired, and you know, I want to know what it feels like to cuddle up to you, since I've never done it before. I believe I deserve the right to cuddle up to the second awesomest thing I've seen, other than myself," I say, staring softly into those beautiful violet eyes that I'd fallen in love with.

So, we do that; finding the nearest, largest tree in the area and setting up a spot to lay there. It was amazing! Just him, I, and the stars. "You know, Birdie. I'm not a German, like everyone thinks I am," I say, gaze set upon the lit up sky, "I'm Prussian, but because of that, I'm not treated properly," I sigh as I look at the pale white skin of my hand, "Not even my family respects me, and the other soldiers are always afraid of me because I'm left handed and that's the devil's hand," I place my hand over my right eye and close them, trying to forget the pain of the past mockings I've gotten, "and the fact that my eyes are Blood Red doesn't make it any better,"

Matthew sat up, causing me to move my hand to look at him, but I was too lazy to move. He took my left hand in his own and lays it out behind him. I was curious so I let him do what he was doing. He layed back down, but this time he was cuddled next to me. He pulled my left hand to his hip and brought his own to my chest. He looked up in my eyes. "So they are," He says.

"You don't see them everyday, you know," He said, looking to me. I turn my head to look at him, my face dusted red in a blush, "But, that's why I like you so much, Gilbert," He smiled softly.

"Oh, yeah? Prove it, Birdie. . . " I said, slowly leaning in closer and closer. We connected in a sweet kiss. He quickly melted into it. I heard something that sounded like a moan.

I moved him by his hips onto my lap. As we parted, I sat up, leaning my back against the tree, I chuckled. "Did you know that you're like, the best kisser?" I asked, and he blushed immediately, jerking his head to the side quicky. I chuckled sweetly at his reaction. "So cute,"

I pulled him in for another strong kiss, tangling my fingers through his hair and pulling at the small of his back to somehow get him even closer to me than he already was. I gently nibble on his lips with extreme hunger and lust. Matthew's moans were so exotic, and his lips toxic (and softer than any I've tasted in the history of ex lovers I've had, and that's impressive) that it was unbearable. I quickly rolled us over so I was on top of Matthew, and immediately started kissing him sloppily.

"Is anyone over there!?" I heard from a distance away. I popped my head up and shouted, "It's just the awesome Lieutenant Gilbert Beilschmidt, und I am doing the sexy time, so go away!" I heard Matthew laugh, then say, "Gilbert!" as he softly prods at my shoulder once.

I look at him, away from the light the public intruders were shining, and I fell in love with Matthew all over again in a brand new light. "Birdie," I said. He looked at me and I had to gulp down every lump of anxiety in my heart, "Ich will dein Freund sein," I hear distant clapping and my head jerked back around. 'Oh, sheiße! They're still here,' I thought.

"Congrats, sir," They said, flashing their light on me. "Well, we were just looking for your prisoner; it seems he escaped from the new Prison, either that, or you must've brought him back. . . Well, we'll go ask Ludwig. Sorry for interrupting," They say, shining their light on me straddling Matthew, and said, "Mighty fine lady you've got there; beautiful blond hair," "Fierce violet eyes, too," I protectively wrap myself around Matthew, and basically hissed, "Mein Birdie, und nur bergwerk!" They back off cautiously.

"Alright, man," And with that, they walked away, leaving us where we were. I loosened my protective grip on Matthew once I heard him begin to cough. "I'm sorry, Birdie!"

"It's okay, Gilbert, but did you just ask me out?" He asked as a smirk grew across his face, "Nevermind that! Where were we?" He said seductively licking at his lips.

I pinned his wrists to the ground, making sure not to hurt him. I smirked deviously as I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "No more holding back,"

"That's fine by me," He said, chuckling, then he got kind of serious, "After all, we're sitting under our own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make us afraid," And kissed me gingerly.

"Oh, you asked for it. . . !" I say, kissing him roughly.