Excerpt from the Memoirs of Sirius Black (Chapter 4: Ache of the Heart)

I remember sitting on a bus next to Remus, music in my ears. It was Nirvana, perhaps. I liked the rock music from James Potter's world. We spent so many hours on those first buses not saying much to each other despite being seated so close. I don't know that I was already in love with the man but I was certainly infatuated.

The truth was that I was afraid. I was afraid of him, afraid of the council and afraid of what he might know. Did he know about the accusations against me? If he did he was being far more trusting than I would've been in his shoes.

The Eighth Day (June 22, 1995)

Entry #20 (Remus):

Lily, I can't begin to describe my distress at what you have gone through. Oh, poor Dorcas. It pains me to think of dear Dorcas being the in the hands of the council.

It is morning. Sirius and I are on something called a Greyhound traveling to a city called Albuquerque in the state of New Mexico. Sirius has musical recordings he listens to on things called tapes. Apparently, Mr. Potter introduced him to a lot of this world's popular culture. He's spent much of the trip so far with the headphones on. It is not easy for me to picture this man as a murderer. There's something far too frightened in his grey eyes. He seems afraid. I am also afraid.

I suspect that you would counter that a man wanted for murder might be frightened of being caught. I can't argue with that. Maybe I only see what I want to see.

I have so many questions I want to ask him but it's not as if we can talk openly on the Greyhound. Though maybe we could. Perhaps no one cares. So many of the people on this world seem wrapped up in their own lives with little care for the world around them. As someone who does not want to be noticed I find this a comfort but cultural apathy unnerves me. I will write again from the hotel tonight, unless I am too tired. It is a long trip.

Entry #21 (Lily):

Today was spent talking and planning with Dumbledore. I have learned many things some of which I will try to list for you now:

1. The Illustrious Council was formed 500 years ago. Contrary to what we've been told, they discovered the Orb deep underground. It moved around for many years before the Great Tower was constructed in London to hold it. The staff at the tower are deliberately fed the lie that the Orb was an invention that the council was protecting. Dumbledore says the Orb came from another world but wouldn't explain how he knew this.

2. Dumbledore doesn't think the council knows about the Orb's ability to traverse worlds… unless they read the diary before I retrieved it. This means that they don't know how to control it… but neither do we for that matter since you and Sirius both did it on accident. What were you thinking at the moment? Obviously, Sirius needed a quick escape. Were you especially worried you might be caught? Dumbledore said he has some ideas but it's another matter for which he remains elusive.

3. Dumbledore knows about Sirius and his family. His family are apparently a nasty lot. Dumbledore has never met Sirius personally and can't speak to his character but he believes the murder accusations may be false. For one thing one of the supposed victims is Regulus Black, his younger brother. But Dumbledore believes that Regulus is alive, having been sighted by the Phoenix Underground. Unfortunately, he can't definitively say the other accusations are false. This does ease my mind a great deal, however. Perhaps, I should trust you.

4. Dumbledore used to sit on the council but left when a former friend, Gellert Grindelwald, seized control and Dumbledore became uncomfortable with his ideals and plans. But Grindelwald is no longer in control and is himself in hiding. He has been replaced by someone named Riddle. Dumbledore doesn't know who this man is but information on the council's actions has evaporated since he took over.

I have, through no small effort on my part, convinced Dumbledore that I must go back to the tower. Dumbledore has reluctantly agreed that infiltration is the only way that will work. I am unsure how Sirius got inside but it can't've been easy. Unfortunately, there are still those in the tower who know me or would recognise me. But Dumbledore says… there may be a way to alter my appearance, rather convincingly.

A year ago I would've scoffed at the notion of magick, even with the things I saw in the Great Tower over the years. I have always been a lover of science and technology. I've been leery of superstitions. Even the Great Orb, I believed to be the product of science before now.

Dumbledore says I will have to learn a little magick if I'm going to be successful in this endeavour. I told Dumbledore about how I could still hear the hum of the Orb at the theatre and how the diaries called out to me. When the council hired me they told me that I had the necessary skills needed. I now know what they meant. It was magick they were seeking.

Dumbledore will begin to train me in magick tomorrow and help me to craft a new identity. It doesn't need to be too elaborate. Just enough to get me into the tower to free Dorcas and get into the chamber of the Orb. Dumbledore thinks it unwise to pursue the Orb or try to travel to the world you have gone to, but I know in my heart that the Orb is my destiny. I feel it in my being. If that's not magick, I don't know what is.

(I checked with Scotland Yard. There've been no sightings of Regulus Black since his reported murder. I'll admit that I couldn't find any record of his autopsy. That is curious, but I still think this whole business of him being alive is rubbish - DM)

Entry #22 (Remus):

Very tired. In hotel in Albuquerque for a few days. Watched something called television with Sirius. It's like having the theatre in a box! There was a program with a man who owned a talking horse. Sirius found it amusing. I found Sirius finding it amusing but the program itself was odd.

I will try to reply more fully in the morning. Magick? I must say I'm fascinated. I never had your experiences exactly but perhaps that I was fell through the Orb means that I'm sensitive to magick too. Sirius must be as well.

I am glad to hear that the claims against Sirius may be false. I wonder if Sirius knows his brother is still alive?

Sirius is reading a book now. I wonder what it's about. He's often quiet. I do wish he would talk to me.

The Ninth Day (June 23, 1995)

Entry #23 (Lily):

Spent the day working with Dumbledore on learning magick. He wants to train me in many basic things but there isn't much time if I'm going to rescue Dorcas. Today I worked on watching my face in the mirror. To change my appearance I have to learn to see past my appearance. My physical form is merely a house for the being that is Lily… or something of that sort. It sounds better when Dumbledore says it, I assure you.

So I stared at my face in the mirror for a number of hours until my face didn't even look like a face anymore. Not literally, mind you. But you do sort of take it all for granted. We're used to faces but when you stop to look at them they break down into pieces. I thought about the shape of my eyes. I kept alternating between squinting and opening them wide. Do I have big eyes? Are they normal? I've never really thought about it… Everyone always points out my eyes.

What about my nose? Noses are pretty strange aren't they? The rest of the face is quite nice. My lips are a nice shape, I suppose. They are thin but well formed and a nice hue. Sort of bow-shaped? I like my smile and my teeth are healthy. But the more I stare at my nose the more I am convinced it drags the rest of my face down.

But perhaps no one even notices? I tried to remember what your nose looks like. I know your face. If I close my eyes, I can picture it… But I can't isolate your nose. Maybe that's just how it is. The rest of the face exists to distract us from how odd our noses are.

Dumbledore's nose looks like it's been broken, perhaps long ago. He seems quite old, not to be rude. Perhaps, older than anyone I've ever known.

Tomorrow is another round with the mirror. I think you should tell Sirius about his brother, though once you tell him that he will know that you know he was accused of murder. Best to wait for the right moment, I suppose.

Entry #24 (Remus):

I've just had a look at myself in the mirror, since you brought it up. I've never been a big fan of looking at myself in the mirror. I do think my nose is sort of strange, come to think of it.

Sirius caught me looking at myself in the mirror. I felt too embarrassed to really explain what I was doing but I did reply that I was noticing how strange my nose was. Sirius laughed and said my nose was fine because "it's on your face isn't it? Can't be that bad."

Sirius has a wonderful nose… as far as noses go. It complements his face.

I wonder if this world has magick? This world doesn't feel magickal. But the orb brought me here and it brought Sirius here. So perhaps, it has… just a little magick. Enough.

The Tenth Day (June 24, 1995)

Entry #25 (Lily):

Another day at the mirror down. Today Dumbledore had me making faces at myself all day. I had to practise emotions, expressions and concepts using only my face. Expressing oneself only with your face is harder than it sounds. It's rather difficult to not move my hands for some things.

Dumbledore told me to make a face that displayed "that feeling of having dropped loose change and being in too much of a hurry to stop and pick it up." I made a face and he said "you just look disappointed, Miss Evans."

He wanted me to hone in on these specific feelings and express them in distinct ways. I balked and said it felt like I was training for the theatre. He only replied with "precisely" and walked away.

I suppose he's right. I am to play a role and changing my appearance won't be enough.

Tomorrow he promises magick is in store. Real magick.

Entry #26 (Remus):

Sirius and I have spent the last couple of days in this hotel in Albuquerque mostly sitting around watching television or going out for food. There's not a lot to do.

Sirius talked about his family today. His mother sounds ghastly. I miss my mother. I wish I had known to say goodbye to her before… But that's ridiculous, isn't it? How could I have known?

When Sirius mentioned his brother being dead it was a strange thing that he didn't mention having been accused of his murder. Even still, I couldn't help but inform him that Regulus was possibly still alive. This made Sirius very happy. He said his relationship with his brother is complicated but he still loves him.

Excerpt from the Memoirs of Sirius Black (Chapter 4: Ache of the Heart)

It's difficult to describe the emotions I had in that moment. While I had some relief that the man I had been accused of murdering was alive and could potentially exonerate me, I was mostly filled with joy that my brother lived.

Though darkly I wondered who had been murdered that night and by whom. To this day I don't know the answers to either of those questions and I don't suppose I ever shall.

The Eleventh Day (June 25, 1995)

Entry #27 (Lily):

Magick isn't sleight of hand and it isn't something that just happens because you say the right set of words. Magick is like… Well, Dumbledore says it's like air or water. It's a sort of element. It's part of nature.

Dumbledore says that the most important thing to understand about magick is that no one really understands magick. Then he snapped his fingers and the smallest of sparks shot out, lighting a candle.

Though I was impressed for a moment, I still insisted that it could've been an illusion, that it could've been sleight of hand and I would have no way of telling the difference. I felt almost angry at him. I had stared at my face in the mirror for two days just to find out the old man was having a laugh at my expense.

Dumbledore set a different candle in front of me. This one looked new… it had never been lit. "Light it," he told me. I complained, and said that he was avoiding telling me how magick really worked in favour of me wasting time trying to light it, which would only hurt my fingers.

Dumbledore said that nothing could be further from the truth. I sighed and snapped my fingers. I didn't light the candle but I definitely produced a spark. You wouldn't believe my shock. I snapped again and that spark hit the wick, lighting the candle.

I asked if anyone could do this. Dumbledore says no. Most people can't do magick. If they could then it would just be a normal thing that people did, like whistling or singing.

I asked him what the odds were that someone like me who really needs magick would also be able to do magick. He confirmed what I suspected: the council only hires those with magickal talent. I asked him how they knew but he just walked away. An answer for another day perhaps.

Entry #28 (Remus):

I've just asked Sirius about this. He says he doesn't know much about magick. His family certainly believed in magick. He always thought they were making a big deal out of nothing, with their involvement with the council and tower. He thought it was all rubbish until he traveled through the Orb.

It's time for Sirius and I to move on again tomorrow. Next stop is Flagstaff, Arizona.

I am trying not to lose sight of the situation we are all in but I must admit that spending so much time with Mr. Black is something that I find rather agreeable.

The Twelfth Day (June 26, 1995)

Entry #29 (Lily):

Dumbledore made me light the candle a hundred times today. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Dumbledore wanted me to really feel magick.

He showed me that you don't have to actually have to snap but the human mind is accustomed to physical actions having consequences. I can think about starting a spark to light a candle and the more I do it, the easier it is. But associating it with a direct physical action make it easier for our minds to accept. It somehow seems less absurd.

I just moved my hand near the candle and I thought about making a spark. It didn't come at first. It was like an itch that was just out of reach. It was like pressure building up that I had no clue how to release.

Then it happened. I created a spark from my hand just by thinking it. Remus, the feeling of just creating the magick is amazing and yet nearly impossible to describe. It's a feeling akin to warmth or happiness. It's that feeling when you fail to fall off a cliff. It's the opposite of tension or fear.

It was like learning to walk as an adult and realising that it was always within your capability. It's a basic, essential thing I can do… I just never knew how to develop the skill.

Dumbledore says that not only do the council staff the Great Tower with people who are capable of performing magick, but he thinks that being around magickal objects and other magickal people amplifies our own abilities. I asked how it was that we all didn't go around performing magick on accident. Dumbledore suggested that perhaps we do and simply fail to notice.

I asked if this was why you were able to go through the Orb and he thought it was. But that doesn't explain Mr. Black, does it? He didn't spend all the time in the tower that we did. It must be a family quality.

Entry #30 (Remus):

Sirius and I are in hotel in Flagstaff. I am very tired.

I asked Sirius if he thinks his family are naturally capable of magick. He said that made sense but says that he has never performed magick to the best of his knowledge. I should ask him what touching the orb felt like. Maybe I'm missing something…

The Thirteenth Day (June 27, 1995)

Entry #31 (Lily):

I changed my hair colour today.

Dumbledore put me back in front of the mirror. He said that I just needed to apply that magick feeling towards my hair. My goal was to make it black.

Finding that feeling isn't simple. It's like fumbling around in the dark for something you know is there. You know what it is you are looking for and if you could just touch or accidentally bump into it you'll be fine.

I didn't make my hair black but I think I made it darker? And perhaps a little less red. Dumbledore told me to hold it that way overnight.

Holding onto it is a different sensation. It would be easy to let go of it on accident.

Entry #32 (Remus):

Sirius and I went to Meteor Crater near Flagstaff today. I am fairly certain I've read something about it on our world, under a different name. I wonder when and how our worlds diverted. At some point something changed and set us on different paths. Are these the only two worlds? There must be more. Is there an Earth without a Meteor Crater?

It's really astounding how large the crater is. I'm glad I saw it with Sirius. His face really lights up when something really, truly impresses him. He strikes me as a man who is not often impressed with much. It was windy… I know it sounds stupid but I like the way his long hair flutters in his face. I… brushed it out of his eyes, almost on instinct. I then felt embarrassed and turned away.

Sometimes… Sometimes I feel like he looks at me that way. But I'm probably just imagining things. I mean he smiles at me and he's so beautiful I want to melt down into the earth. Perhaps, I'm just a fool.

Once we were back at the hotel I finally asked Sirius what he felt when he touched the Orb. He said that it felt strangely familiar to him and he now wonders if he had spent time there when he was younger or perhaps when he was still in his mother's womb.

We were lying next to each other in my bed and I could feel my heart pounding. I was trembling and I could feel myself getting carried away in the moment. I had to pull myself out before I let anything happen I had to know the truth.

I told him that you had informed me that he had been accused of murder. He moved away from me, sitting at the end of the bed.

"You don't really believe I'm a murderer do you?" he asked, sounding hurt.

I told him that I didn't believe it… I didn't want to believe it. But I was bothered that he had avoided mentioning it, even after I told him his brother was still alive. He turned back to me, his face looking so heartbroken I immediately wanted to take it all back, even if I knew I was right to bring it up.

Sirius says that the accusations were actually an attempt by his family to smoke him out of hiding. He believes that had he been caught they would've had revealed his innocence while keeping him locked away, under their control.

"That's why I was so desperate. That's why I needed to do something… don't you see?" he asked, tears filling his eyes.

I told him that I saw then and I reached over and… I held his hand. I wanted to do more. I wanted to wipe his tears away and kiss his pain away. Instead, he faintly smiled and nodded before pulling away then going back over to his bed.

Excerpt from the Memoirs of Sirius Black (Chapter 4: Ache of the Heart)

I found it hard to sleep that night. I was filled with doubts and longing. When he held my hand I thought for a moment that he might kiss me. I believe he would have if I hadn't pulled away. If only I hadn't given into my doubts and my guilt. I never told him about the accusations. I never even told James, after all he had done for me.

How do you tell someone you've been accused of murder and expect that smell to come off? There will always be some part of them that doubts you and doubts your character. I didn't want Remus to doubt my character. But I should've trusted him. I should've been honest.

The Fourteenth Day (June 28, 1995)

Entry #33 (Lily):

Oh, Remus. I'm glad you and Sirius were able to get things out in the open. I'll confess to being a little envious of your new found romance, if that is what it is in fact what it is becoming.

After holding onto darker hair overnight it was much easier to turn it black when I put myself back in front of the mirror. It was like I tapped into the magick inside of myself and it was now flowing through me like an endless stream. I can feel it beneath my skin and behind my eyes. It would be unnerving if it weren't so wonderful. I've never been one for intoxication but I wonder if this what that is like.

We had a visitor today, which interrupted my training. A rather stern woman with black hair, wearing an elegant dress of emerald green. Dumbledore introduced her as Minerva McGonagall. She is a master of shapeshifting from the Phoenix Underground. Dumbledore has business to attend to for a time. Apparently my return to the tower will not happen as soon as I would've liked.

I'll confess I find Ms. McGonagall an intimidating woman. Dumbledore is imposing but still has a warmth and a certain eccentricity to him. McGonagall is a woman who clearly doesn't suffer fools gladly.

There wasn't any time for more training today. I suppose I could use the rest but I am eager.

Entry #34 (Remus):

Romance? I don't know what it is. I'm afraid to admit that it's what I want… but I think maybe it is what I want.

When I awoke this morning, Sirius was pacing by the window of our hotel room. Our plan after yesterday had been to lay low today. If we spend a great deal of time outside and we are being followed then we are only helping ourselves to be captured.

Personally, I do not believe we are being followed. Frankly, I'm not sure we have a single good reason to think we are. And yet, we can't go back to Mr. Potter's home and wait to be captured there.

In any event, Sirius convinced me to go on a walk through Flagstaff. It was a nice day. The weather here is warm but not as hot as it was in Texas. On the way we stumbled upon a cinema and Sirius convinced me to watch a film with him. At random Sirius chose a film called 'The Brady Bunch Movie'.

Film culture on this world is different. Even as we sat in the darkened auditorium and watched the previews I was struck by how much more of a spectacle it all is. On our world, film is art and expression, no flash but a lot of substance.

I can't claim to have understood the film we watched but it was an interesting glimpse into this world's culture. And Sirius laughed. I guess he's been here longer. I like it when he laughs.

After the film was over, I went to the restroom and Sirius waited outside the cinema. There was an odd moment as I left the building. I caught a woman, smoking a cigarette and glaring at Sirius and I. I didn't mention it Sirius. Maybe we were standing too close together and revealing too much about our personal affinities for people on this world. It was probably nothing but something about her face…

No, I do not believe we are being followed but you can't blame me for being cautious.

Observations by Hermione Jean Granger (2016):

I find myself getting wrapped up in these individuals. I am envious of Harry's mother having trained directly under Dumbledore! I never knew McGonagall had met Mrs. Potter. I shall have to schedule an interview with her.

I have heard back from Draco. He enclosed a copy of Sirius's memoirs which I am going to read in conjunction with this casefile, inserting excerpts where I feel they are needed.

This is the letter Draco sent me:

Miss. Granger…

No, I don't think it would be possible for you to view the diary in person. It was a stretch sharing the casefile with you but Her Majesty wants a good relationship with the Underground so I was able to convince her.

No one wants to find Harry Potter more than I do, believe me but I don't see what good showing you the diary will do.

If there's any other way I can help you, please let me know.

Draco Malfoy.

Despite what he says, it is obvious that Draco has no intention of helping me find Harry. It is with this in mind that I have requested greater resources from the Underground. I believe the only way our world can be safe from Him is finding Harry Potter.

I will deploy spies and investigators, providing new information from the diaries as it arises (some things are known to us already, but our records are incomplete.)

We must:

1. Investigate if the barrier between worlds has been breached.

2. Create a timeline of the known history of Harry Potter and his parents and their friends, including all worlds they traveled to.

3. Attempt to find out if his parents and their friends are still alive (Sirius's memoirs were published ten years ago, on another world.)

4. Find out the connection between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Draco is hiding something. I must know what it is.

5. Find Harry Potter. Everything depends on it. It was Dumbledore's final order, after all.