* If I fuck this up I'm gunna be so mad at myself. I know how nervous I get when I start cursing to myself in my head. Hopefully I wont drop a fuck or something when I'm with her. This could be my chance. My chance to impress her. But how do I impress her? She knows more then me. I can be the strong man she needs. It's cold. I can be the warmth. I'm gunna bring food. That's what I'm gunna do. I'm gunna bring warm bread, and cheese, and rolls. Trust me, my family won't miss them.*
As I walk to the school I'm carrying three sacks full of food for the day. I'm wearing a new sweater my dad got me and one of my brother's old jackets that still look new. I even have red scarf I got for my birthday on me. My hat is dark blue. My mom said it makes my blond hair and blue eyes pop. Whatever that means. I swear sometimes she reminds me of Effie Trinket. She thinks I'm spending the day at Delly's house. I don't wanna know what she would think about me spending the day with Katniss.
Geez. I don't think I'll be eating any of this food. I had no breakfast cause my stomach is in knots. Every time I walk I feel like my stomach wants to fly out of me. I'm so nervous. It's 5:15. She should be here soon .The wait is so agonizing. I try to think about other things like frosting or dough. But I can't help but think she isn't coming. Every random passerby I see I think is her. I smile and then they look at me like I'm a creep. Oh shit I really am a creep. I'm smiling at strangers. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I was to nervous for today. At 7:28 I'm beginning to think she isn't coming. I get sweaty underneath my clothing and I just wanna pull it off. But, then again my stomach isn't as toned as I would like it to be at the moment so maybe not.
At 7:30 on the button I see her coming through the meadow. She has snow boots on and the same leather jacket she wore the last time I saw her.
"Ready to go?" she says with a smile. My heart melts. She's in a good mood again.
"Yep!" Fuck that was dumb. Say nothing loud. Don't wanna get arrested. She doesn't react to my loudness this time though. We climb through this whole in the fence. No electricity at all. It was a bit odd. We ran into the woods. This is the first time I've ever been in the woods outside of apple picking. I decided to tell her that.
"Oh, don't worry I'll keep you safe and sound." She said cheerfully. It seems like the only time she's happy is when she's in the woods or talking about hunting. The trees get larger and more intimidating.
"Yeah well I hope these shadows don't kill my light" I say playfully. About 40 minutes into our walk we stop for breakfast. I make a spread of bread still warm with orange jam and apples. We have apple cider and cinnamon sticks too. My nerves are gone. I can eat. She eats it up so quickly. I know she doesn't eat like she should.
"No bread to hunt down in the forest", she says half way through inhaling bread.
"Oh, well anytime just come down to the bakery. We can have lunch and it's my family's bakery so my guests don't pay." Fuck. Is she gunna think I think she's poor.
"I like that" she says with a giggle. Phew. Close one. "Now it's time to do some hunting."
She takes out a bow and a bunch of arrows from a hollow tree. Together we look for our first prey. She teaches me how to throw a rock. Now I know throwing rocks can be easy but not the way she wanted me to do it. She wanted me to aim it at the preys head. That was a little harsh but I love how assertive she was with it. I have to admit it turned me on a little how rough and tough she was being. I wanted her to get rough with me. At one point I messed up and she yelled "You big blond dumb ass!" but she said it as a joke. It made me feel happy inside. We hunted rabbits, and ducks near the lake. We killed squirrels and other birds I had no clue existed until now. We even picked up berries. I had this one blood red berry in my hand. I got scared shitless when Katniss slapped it out of my hand so fast I thought my fingers under my gloves were bleeding.
"Those are nightlock." she said calmly.
"And?" Yeah, I have no clue.
"You will die if you eat them." she said flatly/
"Oh. Yeah that was stupid of me then." It really was.
"It's ok. You're learning. I'm gunna need a new partner." Wait what? Am I just here to be her partner? Is she taking advantage of m? No. No she isn't. Wait Gale is her partner. And the second I think of it I see her smile turn into a frown.
"Of course I'll be your hunting partner but what happened?" she looks almost humiliated.
"Gale cheated on me with the mayor's daughter." Can't say I didn't see that happening.
"What? That's horrible. That... That bastard." She looked almost offended I said that. Shit. "Sorry".
"Don't be sorry and I agree with you. The only thing that has me keeping him is my family. We both need each other. He hunts for mine and I hunt for his. One or two of these rabbits will go to him. U can have the ones you killed with the rock. I'll keep some. The rest I sell for money. The money is split between my family and the Hawthorne's. It's an agreement we came to years ago. I won't break it just because he cheated on me. His family needs me to much." I'm so moved by her will. By her power and her loyalty. She's willing to do that. I wonder if I have the type of golden heart she has. I manage to just say a sentence.
"You're doing the right thing." I just wanna reassure her.
"Thanks. Can we eat lunch now? I'm gunna cook one of our squirrels. Help me build a fire." She shows me how to do it. We gather material. We shovel snow. Then I take two branches and suddenly I feel her warm breath on my neck. She puts her arms around me for a few seconds showing me how to rub the wood together to make a spark. It was the best few seconds of my life. I guess it wasn't for her though. It didn't seem to make a difference to her. We eat a lunch of rabbit sandwiches with more apples. I give her the rest of the bread to take home. I don't make it look like a charity case though. I tell her my mom wil look at me weird if I come home with half cold bread and cheese. Oh weird we never ate the cheese. She takes the food and thanks me. It really isn't a charity case though. My mom would think that. And, I want her family to eat. I can be Gale to. But I'm not doing this for her heart. I generally feel for the girl. Later on we do more hunting then walk home.
The walk seems shorter then I would like it to be. I want to just keep talking to her. We talk more about school, and the woods. She tells me about the time she feel from a tree I couldn't help but laugh and she did too. Actually, we had to stop walking because we were laughing to hard. It was getting dark when we made it back to the gate. From the gate she walks me to my house. The nerves that I once had this morning are now back. Should I hug her? Of course I'm not gunna kiss her. But before I can even think of anything she leaves me with a –
"Ok, well thank you so much. Maybe next week again. I'll see you around." Then she runs off. No hug. No kiss. No shaking hands. I feel accomplished though. Were friends. Well it is boy FRIEND. If I can't be her friend I can't be her boyfriend. I enjoy being her friend. It's like I can just sit there and talk to her for hours. She makes me feel warm inside.