Disclaimer--I do not own Aladdin, or Barbie dolls, they are owned by the rich people who own them...whose names I have forgotten at the moment.

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Ally-p sat before her computer, ready to hear all the dirt on Ana Cardic's latest adventure, deep into the Disney movie Aladdin. There were a lot of questions she and other fans had on how things worked exactly in this Agrabah, where everyone spoke American English. While she was contemplating the possibility of a Universal Translator being used in filming, a message popped up on her screen.

--Ready when you are.--

Ally-p grinned and typed back to her friend. --Let's go then.--

Ana brushed a speck of sand off of her laptop, waiting for the first question. She was seated on a rooftop in Agrabah, typing by moonlight, while in the background Aladdin and Jasmine soared through the sky on their sickeningly romantic magic carpet ride, singing in unison. As the words appeared on her screen, she grinned. This was one of the big ones, that she'd been sure to check on first thing.


--1. How does Aladdin's hat (fez?) stay on? Glue?--

--1. Actually, the lice have formed a committee to keep his hat on. Each day, three shifts of lice come and take their turn holding down the fort. --

"Eww," Ally-p laughed, making a face. "Next question."
--2. Who pierced the ear of the cave of wonders? (The big cat head). How can you pierce sand?--

--The Cave of Wonders pierced itself. It was rebelling against its parents. And it went to a doctor who specializes in Unrealistic Disney Animations, who fixed him up with a special cream that would keep the sand from running all over.--

"A doctor who specializes in Unrealistic Disney Animations?" Ally-p repeated. --Does this doctor fix up Barbies as well?--

Ana laughed. --I didn't ask. Next question?--


--3. What is the point of Aladdin's and Abu's vests?--

--To deflect missiles.--


--4. How does Abu's fez stay on? (see question 1)--

--Aladdin got bored one day, drilled a hole through the top of his head, and then stuck the fez-on-a-stick into it. It's stayed ever since. Goes along with the Cave of Wonders, really...--

Ally-p grinned and moved on to the questions she was sure many fanfics had mentioned.


--5. Genie dresses as a woman quite a lot in these movies... think about it...--

--Well, he hasn't come out of the closet about it just yet. Keep it quiet, his dear conservative mother will be heartbroken... let him break the news to her. Gently. And have Prozac on hand.--


--6. Why does no one think it odd that Ali Ababwa's elephant wears a vest, a fez and has orange hair?--

--They just assume he's another psycho tourist who flew straight in from Disneyland.--


--7. Is Jasmine's brain smaller than her waist? What is with all the screaming of "Aladdin!" All the time?--

--No, her brain is bigger. The part of her brain that is devoted to actually THINKING, however, is roughly the size of a pea.--


--8. Jafar's waist is smaller than Jasmine's...is he wearing a corset??--

--Well, see, he and the genie... let's just say that their mothers are going to have to start a support group. But shh, he doesn't think anyone's noticed. (BTW... if you find any pink frilly underthings lying around... do just mail them back to him in a nice, PLAIN brown package, okay?) --

Ally-p cracked up. --How on earth did you find that out?--

Ana smirked. --Never doubt the power of a veil and an expensive pair of earrings. Especially after Jasmine pulled that stunt in the beginning of the movie...My room is going on the royal tab as well, actually. Beats being a cute and fuzzy animal for the duration.--

--Alright, fine! But just because Snow White didn't have the sense to take the family jewels and run to seek her fortune...Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea for a story...-- Ally-p trailed off, lost in thought.

Ana came back from her Writer's Muse Fog slightly before Ally-p --Hello? Agrabah to Ally, time for the next question!--

"Er, right."


--9. In one scene Iago has teeth, than in the rest of the movie, he doesn't. What is with this??--

--Halfway through filming, he became the poster boy for the What Happens to You If You Don't Brush Your Teeth campaign, sponsored by the Arabian Dental Association. The director of the film was NOT too thrilled, but they had some budget issues, and couldn't afford to get him some false ones. Have you noticed that he hasn't been in any films since? Trashed his reputation, that movie did...--


--10. Okay, the big one, the question that plagues all Disney movies...When anyone spontaneously bursts into song, they have music playing in the background...Where does it come from?--

--It's one of the Universal Laws of Musicals and Musical Movies. If, at any time, you spontaneously burst into song, not only will an entire brilliantly-conducted orchestra appear, playing behind walls and things so as not to be seen, but the entire street will hear the song, and know the words and the dance to the song you are making up as you go along. Pretty clever of them, actually--

--If only real life was like that. I dunno about you, but I'd like to automatically have an amazing singing voice, even if I was Backup Singer # 43 or something.--

--Yeah, tell me about it. Now, if that's all the questions, I need to be going. This background music is starting to get on my nerves. And realistically, how long can you zoom around through the nighttime desert air in that skimpy little outfit before you get cold? They've been singing up there for an hour now. I'll see you when I get back.--

Ana shut her laptop and stuck it into her nondescript bag, ready to head back out of Agrabah and plot their next adventure.