Late March 2015
"What has got into their heads?" Donna Troy asked her sister Diana Prince as they flew back to the World of Men in the latter's invisible jet.
"I don't know, Donna," her sister confessed. "I'll check in with the IADC tomorrow. Maybe Steve IV and IRAC II can provide some information. We can contact our friends in the business. It sounds as if we may need a peace-keeping, or even peace-making, force.
"For tonight, let's get back to our homes and our partners. Perhaps you and Roy could contact Dick and Barbara? We'll be needing Bruce on this one."
Diana propped herself up in the bed and looked down at Clark Kent and Lois Lane snuggled up beside her. "That was fantastic! Just what I needed! Thank you both!"
Lois sat up herself, before leaning in to cover Diana's lips with her own. "We both enjoyed that session of love-making as much as you did, Diana!" she noted after their long, passionate kiss had ended.
"Indeed," Clark agreed, before pulling himself upwards to claim his own kisses from his life-partners. "So, can we help with your fellow Amazons?"
"Yes!" Diana exclaimed happily. "I'm putting a peace-keeping force together. Superman would be a great asset! You can help too, Lois. We'll need tactical and first aid support.
"For now, though, I'm still feeling somewhat frisky…"
The lovers snuggled back down beneath the duvet, ready to resume their efforts…
"We need to talk!" came from behind the curtains. Batman stepped out through the window of the Kent/Lane/Prince residence's master bedroom, to be greeted by three glares.
"One of these days, Batman, you and I must have a talk about basic privacy," Diana scolded her friend.
"I do seem to have caught you all at a bad time," the Dark Knight admitted.
"A few minutes earlier, or a minute later, and you would have caught us in flagrante!" Lois retorted.
Diana asked Batman to face away from the bed. Once he had done so, Clark fetched three bathrobes. Once they had put them on, Diana asked their friend to turn around again.
"As you know, there was a night of chaos in Gotham City…" the masked vigilante began.
"Is there any other kind of night in Gotham?" Lois interrupted.
"Mass rioting, perverted al fresco coitus, the Joker on the rampage, Harley and Ivy…"
"She's right, Bruce, that does sound like any other night in your city." Clark sighed. "Both this house and Wayne Manor have these wonderful devices known as telephones. You could have called ahead to let us know you were coming."
"Just say what you have to say, Bruce," Diana instructed. "The quicker you get talking, the sooner you get to cuddle up to Selina. Then we can try to forget this ever happened."
The Caped Crusader gave them his most menacing scowl. "When analysing the atmosphere in Gotham and the blood samples from the warring gang members, I discovered traces of a chemical compound that appears to have been weaponised. This appears to have been administered by being dispersed into the air. It increases extreme emotions, like anger, lust and so on.
"According to Wayne Industries satellites, traces of these chemicals are in the atmosphere around Themyscira. We are also picking up traces of radio waves that seem to be subliminally signalling the four words: "Athena", "Marry", "Henry" and "Storybrooke".
"After Roy and Donna contacted Dick and Barbara, they passed the news to me. I scanned the Bermuda Triangle and took the Batplane to Metropolis as soon as I could."
Diana nodded. "Do you know where the gas and the signalling are coming from?"
"I am currently working on that," Batman allowed. "I've got a breakdown of the compound here." He placed a file on a chest of drawers. "That super-computer of the IADC's might link to sources not available to WayneTech. You can also use official channels to run it past UNIT, SHIELD or the W.I.N.
"One other thing. There is a plant-based chemical only present in a part of the Himalayas where the League of Assassins have a training centre. Ra's Al Ghul has been quiet recently. This must be his handiwork."
"Thank you, Bruce." Diana thought for a moment. "Clark, Lois and I will meet with you in Maine the day after tomorrow." She checked her watch. "Actually, as of twenty minutes ago, just tomorrow!
"Goodnight, Batman!"
Clark was about to echo her, but realised their friend had already left. Somethings never change!
"Now," Lois commented, "where were we?"
"Good morning, Diana," Steve Trevor IV said. He was the great-grandson of Steve Trevor senior, her old love from World War II, and the grandson of Steve Trevor junior, her friend and IADC Director from the 1970s. Unlike his forebears, this Steve knew that she was also both Princess Diana of Themyscira and the superheroine Wonder Woman. Like his grandfather, he had been appointed Director of the Inter-Agency Defence Command. He also knew that Clark Kent was also both Kal-El of Krypton and Superman. It made having him over to the Kent/Lane/Prince household for dinner less awkward. Indeed, he regarded his Amazonian Senior Caseworker and her Kryptonian lover as the best back-up in the business. Lois would agree. With the exception of Mystery Inc.'s own journalist, she must be the most danger-prone reporter in the business. Clark thinks it's a fetish! Well, when either or both of us rescue her, the rewards are great!
"Good morning, Steve." She smiled at the man she regarded as the elder brother she never had. "Can you have this formula analysed by IRAC II, please? It was given to me by a friend…"
"Would this be the Robin Hood wannabe, the blonde or brunette Playboy Bunnies or the guy with the bat fetish?"
"Batman. I wouldn't advise calling either Black Canary or Zatanna Zatara a Playboy Bunny in their presence, even if they do wear fishnet tights. You may find out what a Canary Cry or "Turn into a frog!" spoken backwards sound like!"
Steve shuddered theatrically, then turned to the computer in the briefing room they were in. This was the Information Retrieval Associative Computer Mark II, the successor to the one she worked with in the Seventies. Unlike its 1970s predecessor, this one was small with a proper screen with high-quality graphics. "Ira, please examine this formula," he requested, before placing Batman's analysis into the scanner.
Ira responded almost immediately. "The formula is a compound of a rare plant extract from Nepal, some DNA from a proto-simian from the Amazonian rainforest and a rare element only found in the Australian Outback. It was designed to be used in a gaseous form to generate extreme emotions by over-stimulating human hormones."
"Would it work on the Amazons, Ira?" Diana asked.
"Affirmative!"
"Then what do you make of this please, Ira?" Diana placed the break-down of the subliminal radio-wave transmissions in the scanner.
"Subliminal signalling at a super-sonic frequency. This was based on the mind-control technology of Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter. He is a known psychopath and a major enemy of the vigilante known as Batman.
"The message appears to consist of four words, "Athena", "Marry", "Henry" and "Storybrooke". Henry is the adopted son of Regina Mills and the biological son of Emma Swan. You have been to the town. Diana Prince was awarded honorary citizenship of Storybrooke and a medal for Special Services…"
"…In defence of the community," Diana interrupted. "There's due to be a ceremony shortly in which we all get our citizenship qualifications and medals. It will hang in the secret room off the master bedroom, between the mirror I use to contact home and the wardrobe Clark keeps his spare costumes in. Henry is a great kid. So why does Ra's Al Ghul want my niece Athena to marry Henry or Themyscira declares war on Storybrooke?"
Steve turned to her. "So, you will be off to Maine?"
Diana nodded. "Yes, as are Clark, Lois, Kara, Donna, Arsenal and some of Batman's people. We leave tomorrow."
"Take Rover II. Call me on your secure cell phone if you need me.
"Will you be needing transport?"
"I'll take the invisible jet with Lois. Clark can fly alongside us. Donna and Arsenal will be going with Batman and his friends. Kara will fly separately.
Before that, though, I need to contact a certain SHIELD agent."
Natasha Romanoff was sitting in her usual spot in the coffee shop. She stood up and greeted her old friend warmly. "Diana! You wished to speak to me?"
"Natasha, hi! Yes, I did." She checked no-one was looking and passed the spy an A4 manila envelope. "Ra's Al Ghul is trying to cause a war between Themyscira and Storybrooke. I want you to get this information from my friend Bruce to your friend Peter."
"Bio-chemical analysis?" She studied the findings. "It's not my area, but, if anyone can find an antidote, he can."
"Thank you. I've contacted the W.I.N. Joe is home-schooled these days, so is free to come. Also, pass on the subliminal signalling analysis also in the envelope to Peter and to SHIELD. I've forwarded copies to UNIT."
"What about the White Council?" Natasha was concerned. "I know Regina and Emma are unable to do magic outside Storybrooke, but…"
Diana nodded. "I'll speak to Zatanna and Wednesday. Now, can you visit Maine tomorrow?"
"Da! I thought you would never ask!"
"What have you got for me today, Uncle Sam?" Joe McClaine asked Sam Loover, as the latter arrived in Culver Bay.
"A return trip to Maine. The League of Assassins is trying to cause a war between Themyscira and Storybrooke."
"What?! Why?" Joe looked at his "uncle". "Is Henry OK?"
"Well, the news came from the IADC's Senior Caseworker. Diana would know. Yes, he's fine. If he doesn't marry Diana's niece Athena shortly, though, he may not be."
"Athena? She's nice enough, I suppose. Henry's not 15 yet and she's about the same. How are they old enough?"
"14 is old enough in both Storybrooke and Themyscira, Joe. Ah, Good Afternoon Mac! We did take Diana Prince's brain pattern record, didn't we?"
"Of course, Sam. Why?" Professor Ian McClaine had just arrived back from the village shop.
"I'll explain in the laboratory, Mac. Prepare the B.I.G.R.A.T. We are off to Storybrooke."
Kono Kato finished the self-defence lesson he was giving Henry Mills, Grace Jefferson and Nicholas and Ava Zimmer. The latter had just picked up the Kung Fu strike with her usual alacrity. Not only was the girl formerly known as Gretel a quick learner, she was also cunning with a natural aggression. While she was not cruel or vicious (at least, not with him, her twin or her friends), but her natural athleticism meant she picked up the mixture of Kung Fu, karate and aikido he was teaching them well. Kono was wondering whether to bring in specialists to teach them judo, krav maga and other martial arts.
"Try and get some practice of the motions during the next couple of weeks or so. I'll try and schedule our next lesson soon."
Nicholas groaned in mock disappointment. "Great! Another couple of hours of being flung about the room by my twin sister!"
Henry chuckled before turning to his instructor. "Thank you, Mr Kato. It was good to add another couple of moves to our repertoire."
Ava was practically purring. "Yes, thank you, Mr Kato. Any bullies wouldn't stand a chance!"
"Ava," Kono spoke gently, "always remember, no martial art is infallible. If you have a more powerful or determined opponent, or they start using a form of unarmed combat you haven't studied, they can still beat you. Having said that, most bullies are cowards. Stand up to them and they will back down or flee.
As I said, I'll try and arrange another lesson soon. Obviously, Mr Reid's schedule as a concert pianist and our other careers might make that impossible."
"Are we all set, Lois?" Clark asked, as they finished their preparations for the following day.
"Of course, Clark!" Lois snapped. "General's daughter, remember? Packing at short notice is not unknown for investigative journalists like us or secret agents like Diana either!"
"Just checking, sweetheart!" Clark looked up as Diana returned from work. "Is everything all arranged for our trip to Maine?"
"Yes," Diana agreed, "it is." She walked up to Clark and kissed him deeply, before going over to Lois to kiss her in the same manner. "Fancy a ride in the invisible jet, Lois?"
"Was that a euphemism, Diana?" Lois smirked. "Seriously, I can't fly myself, as Clark can. Plus I have this really cute pilot to snuggle up to."
"Actually, Lois, that line sounded a lot cleaner in my head!" Diana turned to face Clark. "Perhaps you should join us? It sounds as if we'll be joining the Mile High Club!"
He looked thoughtful for about half a minute. "What are Invisible Airways' in-flight meals like?"
"A picnic basket?!"
Henry and the others had arrived at Granny's Diner. Regina and Emma were at one of the tables. He sat down opposite his Moms and ordered a burger, with fries and a milkshake.
"You look shattered, Henry," his blonde Mom told him. "What were you doing today?"
"Officially, learning a couple of Kung Fu body strikes. Unofficially, being thrown around a room by a blonde dynamo called Ava Zimmer. She's scary! Pretty, but scary!"
"I'm also directly behind you!" Ava laughed. "No girl minds being called pretty, Henry!"
Henry's tablet chimed. "Oh, an e-mail from Joe. He wants to Skype me, urgently!"
He touched the screen a few times and his friend appeared. "Hi, Henry!" he said urgently, his slight Dorset burr more noticeable than usual. "We're just about to leave for Storybrooke! You seem to have attracted the attentions of Ra's Al Ghul, the leader of the League of Assassins."
"That can't be good!" Henry replied.
"Wait," Emma said, "you have heard of them, Henry?"
"No, Swan, he knows an organisation calling itself the League of Assassins isn't likely to be a charity!" Regina sighed. "Why are they interested in us?"
"Goodness only knows! Ra's is a nutcase who believes him taking over the world would stop the rest of humanity destroying everything, or some such twaddle. Sincere enough, I suppose, but stark raving crackers, as Uncle Rex would say.
"Do you remember Diana, Wonder Woman, the one in the star-spangled swimsuit?"
"The one who nearly removed Dr Whale's ability to procreate?" Regina asked. "The toast of every grown woman in Storybrooke! What about her?"
"Our mad friend is trying to get Henry to marry her niece Athena, or her native Themyscira to declare war on Storybrooke.
"Diana found out yesterday and she and her sister Donna – not the niece's mother, that's Drusilla, her other sister – have been putting us on alert. They will be with you tomorrow morning.
"Remember, Amazons are not as strong as Diana or even Donna without certain magical items. They are, however, still stronger, faster, and more agile, heal quicker and tire slower than normal humans, male or female. Approach with extreme caution.
"I've been given Diana's brain patterns. It won't make me a meta-human, but does give me a knowledge of Amazonian tactics and strategy. Like some others who are coming, I will try and keep the peace."
"Thank you Joe!" Regina said.
"What does Henry's fiancée look like, Joe?" Nicholas asked.
Joe shrugged. "She looks like a miniature of her aunts: tall; long black hair; friendly enough when not effectively under the mind-control of Ra's Al Ghul. I'm sure her aunts have photographs of her. Henry could do a lot worse, I suppose."
"She is not my fiancée!" Henry announced crossly. "I don't know anything about her, other than she has a hot aunt!"
"Oh, yes!" Nicholas said dreamily. "Is she still in a relationship, Joe?"
"Does it matter?" his sister scoffed. "She's physically a grown woman, is super-powered and probably has the pick of every man on the planet. She might even be a lesbian, for all we know."
"She's bisexual, as it happens," Joe interrupted. "She lives with the most powerful metahuman on Earth, her fellow superhero Superman, and their mutual girlfriend. Lois Lane is, like Clark Kent, his civilian identity, an investigative reporter for the newspaper called the Daily Planet. Diana, of course, works as a secret agent for IADC. The three of them are very happy together. You stand no chance, Nicholas!"
"A boy can dream!" Nicholas sighed. "What about her sister?"
"Do you want to battle a superb archer with the ability to make anything into a lethal weapon for her?" Joe asked.
Nicholas groaned. "Why are all the hot ones either taken or gay?"
"Or a decade or more too old for you!" Ava interrupted. "See you tomorrow, Joe. It'll be good to have an opponent close to my age who will offer a real challenge. Do you know any judo?"
Joe grinned. "Quite a lot, as it happens. I took down Mr Scrubb with a judo move. It's limited in the field, but is useful to know.
"See you all tomorrow. Good night!"