Disclaimer: I do not own Psych. GRRR!!
Author's Note: Okay, so like 250 people read the first chapter of this. I was completely shocked! Thank you guys so much! Hopefully you like chapter two just as much! Enjoy!
INT. Psych Office. Day
(GUS sits in chair with The Writer's Toolbox, 1001 Ways To Cook A Pineapple, and the phone laid out on the table in front of him)
(SHAWN enters, whistling. He stops when he sees GUS)
SHAWN: Whoa, Gus. Eager much?
GUS: I'm going to win this time, Shawn. And then you'll have to cook me something from this book.
SHAWN: I don't know. That Pineapple Pudding was really quite delectable. I might have to beat you again so you can make some more. Oh, and this time, you should really make enough for two people. I noticed there wasn't any left over for you.
GUS: That's because you ate all four servings that the recipe provided for.
SHAWN: Hmm… I don't recall.
GUS: Whatever. Just sit down so we can start.
(SHAWN sits in chair)
SHAWN: Would you like to go first?
GUS: Nope. Uh uh. I went first last time. This time, I've got a strategy. The way I figure it, if you go first, I'll know what time I have to beat, and I can always keep Lassiter on the phone for just a little longer.
(GUS smiles as though proud of himself)
SHAWN: Yeah, sure. Go with that, Gus.
(SHAWN reaches into the Box and pulls out a card that says…)
SHAWN (con't): "A child with wings".
(GUS laughs)
GUS: Yeah, good luck with that one, Shawn!
SHAWN: Piece of cake.
(SHAWN picks up the phone and dials while GUS times the call)
INT. SBPD. Day. Lassiter's Desk
(Phone rings on LASSITER's desk. He answers it)
LASSITER: Detective Carlton Lassiter.
SHAWN: Hello, sir. This is Thomas Alpert from the Child With Wings Foundation. I am calling to ask if you would care to make a donation to help fund out annual trip to Alaska. Any contribution would be much appreciated.
LASSITER: I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in making a donation.
SHAWN: Wait, sir. Perhaps if you were better informed on what the Child With Wings Foundation is… We help children with fatal illnesses - such as cancer and leukemia - have a more comfortable time on earth before they depart for Heaven. Every year we take an annual trip up to Alaska so that the kids can see the Aurora Borealis. We feel that the Northern Lights are quite spectacular, and we like to share this with the kids.
(LASSITER cuts SHAWN off)
LASSITER: Look, sir, you've called the Police Department, and the line you are currently on needs to stay open incase of actual emergencies. So, good-bye.
(LASSITER hangs up)
(Cut to: SHAWN and GUS)
(SHAWN hangs up)
SHAWN: Time.
GUS: That was cold, Shawn.
(SHAWN ignores him)
SHAWN: Time.
GUS: You fabricated a story about sick kids to win a game! That's low, even for you.
SHAWN: Time!
(GUS rolls his eyes and looks at his watch)
GUS: 53 seconds.
(SHAWN chuckles)
SHAWN: Beat that!
GUS: I got this.
(GUS reaches into the Box and pulls out a card that says…)
GUS (con't): "A sidewalk with a crack." Okay… Okay, I got this.
SHAWN: You sure, buddy?
GUS: I'm sure, Shawn. Now give me the phone.
(SHAWN goes to hand GUS the phone, but then pulls it back)
SHAWN: You didn't say "please".
(GUS gets annoyed)
GUS: I will kill you, Shawn.
(SHAWN hands him the phone)
SHAWN: That works too.
(GUS dials while SHAWN times the call)
(Cut to: LASSITER)
(Phone rings; LASSITER answers)
LASSITER: Detective Carlton Lassiter.
GUS: Detective Lassiter?
LASSITER: That's what I said.
GUS: This is Chief Rappaport from the Santa Barbara Fire Department.
(LASSITER listens more intently)
LASSITER: Yes?
GUS: I am calling to inform you that this morning at around 9 o'clock, you house caught fire and burned.
LASSITER: My house what?!
GUS: Burned, sir. Straight to the ground. At around 9 o'clock this morning. You live at 815 Oak Avenue, correct?
LASSITER: Yes.
GUS: The sidewalk in front of you house has a crack in it, correct?
LASSITER: Yes.
GUS: Then, yes, Detective, your house has unfortunately burned down.
(SHAWN looks flabbergasted throughout this whole ordeal)
GUS (con't): Now, from what we can tell, the fire was started from your coffee brewer. You probably left it on this morning without realizing it. You may not know this, but leaving a coffee brewer on in the morning is the most common cause of domestic fires. It is nothing to be ashamed of, sir.
(SHAWN looks up and smiles)
LASSITER: But I don't brew coffee in the morning.
(LASSITER ponders this for a second before becoming angry)
LASSITER (con't): …Spencer?! If that's you on the other end, mark my words, I will find out and then -
(Cut to: SHAWN and GUS)
(GUS jumps in shock and hangs up)
GUS: Time.
(SHAWN grins)
SHAWN: 1 minute, 8 seconds.
GUS: Wooo!! Ha! In your face, Shawn! I told you I would win, and I did! What now!
(GUS tosses 1001 Ways To Cook A Pineapple at SHAWN)
GUS: Now, I would just love some Stuffed Pineapple.
SHAWN: Hold on there, Zippy. Calm down. First of all, you should know that Lassiter always has Buzz get him coffee in the morning, therefore he would have no need to brew any at home. Secondly, you failed to incorporate the correct statement.
GUS: What? I used the right statement! I asked him about the cracked sidewalk outside his house.
SHAWN: No. The correct line was "A sidewalk with a crack". You asked him if the sidewalk in front of his house has a crack in it. That's minus 30 seconds for you, which brings your time down to 38 seconds, which means I win.
(SHAWN tosses the book back at GUS)
SHAWN (con't): Pineapple Upside-down Cake, please.
(GUS angrily takes the book and enters the kitchen in a huff)
(SHAWN chuckles and reclines back in his chair)
Author's Note: So what did you think? Let me know by reviewing please!! Reviews are always appreciated. Oh, and don't forget to watch Psych tomorrow. Special Friday the 13th episode!! I can't wait!! Please review!!! Bye!